Wednesday, December 12, 2007

My little baby gets psychomatic!

I can't believe I haven't blathered even one boring, goof-ball, time-wasting word in December so far. What a slow loris I've become. But that's OK by me, pally. They have perfectly round, fuzzy, rubbable, loveable butts! And they like napping. They're A-OK in my book. And if you don't know what a slow loris is...go to the zoo! They're always hanging out around the lights at the top of their tank in the Asian section. Get some cute culture.

One of my New Year's Resolutions in 2008 is to blog regularly. Word.

But for now...come to this. Come have fun. Come hang out with me.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Kids in Chicago and no time left for home.

Don't think I've gotten lazy. The exact opposite is true. I've become so busy having a life that blogging just isn't tops on my list. I love doing it, don't get me wrong. I love staying in touch with all my pretties out there. I love having years worth of babble recorded for posterity. I'm babbling right now, to be honest and I'm barely even paying attention to what I'm typing. In I done yet??

Work, school, Pussyfoot Girls, Shark Attack! Records, boyfriend, family, rinse and repeat.

I'll have more time to devote to blathering in the next few weeks. My first semester back to school with be up, our first show at The Sac will be over, the Horror of 59 CD will be rollin' along and I will be napping. Hardcore. Constantly. And working out with my new work out equipment. I'll be doing whatever I can to destress and detox. My new 4 beers or less limit is awesome. I don't miss being drunk. And I really don't miss being a drunk bafoon. Or the beer weight. Or the hangovers. I'm really looking forward to December 17th when I take my last final. And I'm actually looking forward to the holidays this year. Good life...buys life, but good...the best friends you could ask for...and some I didn't ask for OR expect...good guy...good heart, good intensions, sometimes a big dummy but improving...just good.

It's good when things are good.

See you when I'm not such a busy bee! Buzz, muthafuckas.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I've overcome the blow. Learned to take it well.

I'm about ready to romance your pants off.

Things have been pretty fudged up lately in my relationship. And I think it's been making me more physically ill than usual. Ear aches, nose bleeds, high blood pressure, tension headaches. I'm like walking death. And I've had one foot out the door as it is! Out the door, not in the grave. We're talking my boyfriend/girlfriend situation...not the chance that I might buy the farm in the near future. The chances that my relationship might be my cause of death is just another check in the con column of my pro/con list. Blather. But hey, this is my relationship. Quirks, snarky remarks and all. I've decided to keep both feet in and tuff it out. As 1980s hipster Howard Jones says...things can only get better!

So here's a hat trick of romance that will make no one weak in the knees.

Besides me.

1. Bill and I had a penny fight at work yesterday and it was incredibly fun and time consuming and made me love him despite how 5th grade it was. I hate nickles. Anyone who knows me knows this. When I have nickles, I throw them in his office and it drives him nuts because he is forced to pick them up, lazy ass. So he started retaliating with pennies. But not one penny. PENNIES! All over my office. So then I threw pennies all over HIS office. He countered with about 100 more and then locked himself in his office and taped the bottom of the door shut so I could slide mocking pennies under. What did I do while we was busy taping himself in?

I threw 100 pennies all over his unlocked car. I am now the champion! YES!

2. When I got home form a back-to-back session of work and school (including an A&P lab test that I aced...go me!), Puff told me he had a present for me upstairs. Now while I didn't find Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck naked on respective animal rugs discussing whose facial hair was superior...which is what I was hoping for...I did find something pretty cool.

My first pair of scrubs!!!

He always said he would buy me my first pair and he did. They're all blue and professional looking and bad ass. I had a brief vision of myself doing an ultrasound on someone while wearing these beautiful blue scrubs! It was lovely. Until I remembered that I will also have to do rectal ultrasounds and not even my scrubs could save me from that!

3. After basking in the glow of my scrubs and the lingering glee from the morning's penny fight, my man made me a grilled cheese sandwich, french fries and milk at 11:00pm. He didn't make this milk. That would be terrifying for everyone. But it was a nice treat. It was a simple thing that reminded me that MY NOSE DOES NOT HAVE TO BLEED!

Thanksgiving is mere days away and my favorite people are coming over to scarf-n-chow-lounge-n-veg. And then there's Zombie Walk and the Horror of 59 CD release. And before you know it...The Hollibilly Ball! And we have a new Pussyfoot Girl! I can not contain the rapture!

But not the rapture in the Bible where everyone dies.

Monday, November 12, 2007

He takes off her dress now.

If any of you know me even an itty bit, you know that when I crush, I crush HARD. And usually I'm crushing on people that barely exist in any sort of tangible realm, like movie or television characters. Well, slap me in the face with a frozen fish, I have a crush on Jim Halpert. Big time. Now don't get me wrong...I love my fella and there's nothing better than drafting that dude. But if I were a swinging bachelorette...IF...I would be looking for a guy like Jim Halpert. Dippy haircut and all. You know, I really wanted nothing to do with The Office and now, 3 box set purchases later...oh Jim Halpert. You're the bees knees.


Had a Pussyfoot show on Friday. It was successful if you erase all the cookie tossing I did afterwards. The blindfold dance was mucho perfecto and I had a lot of fun out there in swinging Youngstown. But like the last 3 times I've drank...I ended up a wreck. It doesn't matter if I have 3 beers or 300, they're taking me out. I don't like playing the roll of obnoxious frat boy so I'm on hiatus, so to speak. I'm not throwing in the towel all together, I just need a break. I just need to shape up. I need to learn to stop at tipsy and avoid drunk. But sometimes I'm not even going for that! Sometimes it's a 2 drink night and you would have tought I stuck my head in a vat of malted hopps and baerly. So...I'm on the wagon for now. Besides my Thanksgiving Bellinis. I've been looking forward to those and I've been busting ass at work-n-school. Bring 'em on. After me Designated Debbie until The Heptanes show at The Sac and even then...I'm setting a limit and I'm lovin' it.

That whole thing made me sound like a lush. I'm not. My tolerance is just shot and I'm not in high school any more. I actually have these little things like responsibilities and priorities. And PRIDE! And self-respect! I like to keep the few shreads I have left!

But at Carol's Birthday shin-dig...I WILL do shots from the spoon. Oh yes.

Yesterday Bill and I decided to stop being lazy old bums and went to the Food Expo. I should back track and say Bill and I were having a really rough go of it for awhile. I had one foot out the door and he knows it. But the past few days have gotten things back on the right track. I think he finally gets what he's going to lose if my get up and go gets up and goes and I go with it.

So now we're appreciating each other more and enjoying each other more. It's way more fun than being haters. We chilled all Saturday and he rubbed my feet while I nursed my hangover with French Onion soup. And the Food Expo was a blast! I MET DUFF GOLDMAN! I humiliated myself but it was pretty much on a dare. I was red as a tomato but it was worth it. We hightailed it home and watched Jimmie Johnson win his 4th race in a row...which was more exciting for Puffin...I was eyeball deep in Bioethics. It was a good day. It was a very Jim and Pam day.

I'm still really stressed out and on edge but I have a buddy now to help out. Rad.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Taste of a poison paradise.

I hate Brittney Spears but God bless her...she's fuels my need for celeb gossip!

It's Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeen! My favorite holiday (besides my intense celebration of me). I don't have a rockin' costume this year and I missed the 2 Halloween shin-digs I was invited to. But that's alright. I have my trusty Snoopy as a vampire shirt and some adorable bunny ears. They'll have to do. I'll be the lazy, retired Playboy bunny. Lazy, retired and ill.

I called in sick to work for the first time all year because my lungs are S-H-O-T. Sleeping, coughing, wheezing, sleeping, cheese soup, The Office season 3, America's Next Top Modle cycle 4 and sleeping filled my day. It was a waste of a day off. It wasn't a senior cut day or anything.

The only plus to being a sick-o is that sometimes...your boyfriend packs you a grade school style lunch for work. Bologna sandwich, Pringles, a Jell-o cup and Sprite. All capitals. All cute. I'm enjoying the sandwich right now in the privacy of my office. I need to increase my energy since Bill and I are going to my mommy's annual Halloween event. I refuse to be in bed, wra;pped in blankets on Halloween. Not this year. No sir.

For anyone interested, Bill and I had a great birthday weekend. My planning was an utter success and it couldn't have gone any better. There are pictures and I will bore you with them soon. And you'll LOVE IT!

Busy as ever. My bioethics class started last Monday. Aced my first quiz. Yesterday I was too sick to attend my honor society meeting but I am going to set something personal up with the dean. I registered for spring semester...Patient Care Skills, Applied Algebra and Math Reasoning, Physical Concepts of Diagnostic Medical Imaging, and Intro to Sonography. Let's see if I survive. If I do, I'm buying myself an outfit from Trashy!

Is there life outside or school and work?? Megbo and I are planning a Niagara Falls trip! A girl's over-nighter if you will. I need the cool rush of Candian air in my face! And I need to drink a lot with my favorite girlfriends. And of course, I have 2 PFG shows this month (the 9th in Youngstown and the 30th in Akron). Plus there's all the "Jump In the Sac w/ The Pussyfoot Girls" planning...I can't BELIEVE we're performing with The Heptanes!!! Weeeeeeee.

Enough blather. Enjoy your 'ween.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Little dead are out in droves.

I couldn't possibly be stretched any thinner. It's impossible. I feel like those weird chinese noodles where the dudes start with one gigantic hunk of dough and after stretching-n-separating-n-stretching-n-separating, they end up with one thousand perfect (and long and THIN) noodles! That's me! I don't want to say I'm a Chinese man's noodle but...hey! And now not only and I stretched thin...but I'm seriously craving some noodles! Num num num.

The following is a list of things affecting my noodley state:
- Working (full-time)
- Schooling (full-time)
- Honors society (extra work-n-shtuff...but there are perks)
- Pussyfoot Girls (2 shows in November)
- "Jump In The Sac" (1 show a month)
- Shark Attack! Records (2 projects in the works)

Yeeeeeeeeesh! I'm going to go coo-coo bananas!
But while there's a lot going on, it's not like it's all a burden. Work pays the bills (bwahahahahaha...just wanted to make you all chuckle). School is rewarding. Honors society is an excellent opportunity that I've earned. Pussyfoot Girls are ever growing (t-shirts coming soon, new shows, new opportunities, new outfits from TRASHY!!!). "Jump In The Sac" is just one more way for the PFG to grow and a once-a-month opportunity for me to get themed-out and rock out. Shark Attack! Records was almost dead in the water so I am happy for the chance to make my little pet project flourish.

PLUS...tomorrow is Bill's birthday and I've gotta say, I wish I had a girlfriend like me! I started buying his presents months ago and if you know me, it's REALLY hard for me to not give a gift IMMEDIATELY. But I've held out and he's getting some k-rad new shtuff from his Snugglefoot. And I'm making a whole birthday weekend out of it. Tomorrow he's off work so when I get home, he can open gifties and then we're either going to Harry's Steak House and bowling OR to Chili's and a haunte dhouse (my first ever...there will have to be pre-spooking cocktail hour). Then Saturday we're leaving for an ultra-secret destination! I booked a room somewhere but he doesn't know where. He just knows to pack a bag and be ready to rock. I'll fill all y'all in when we get back. And when we DO get back on Sunday...the Atlanta race is on. What a weekend! What a woman!

So...I've babbled enough about how nutty everything us. Time to put my nose to the grindstone or whatevs. I will leave you with the very expensive outfits I plan to buy from Trashy! for various "Jump In The Sac" events. If you don't love them, you clearly have no taste, sense of adventure, or male gayness in your life! Life is good. Crazy...but good.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Old teenage hopes are alive at your door.

You know what the best medicine is? I mean, the most excellent remedy for whatever bugs you've got? Get a bunch of really cool kids toegther in your hot pink basement and do shots of Jaeger out of a giant, handcarved spoon to the popular song of your choice! And then spank people with aforementioned spoon until said sppon gets broken over someone's can! THERE IS NOTHING MORE FUN IN THIS WORLD THAN SHOTS OUT OF THE GIANT SPOON! SWEET LORD!

There's a video circulating out there of good times with the spoon.

Other than that, there is plenty I'd like to talk about...SCREAM about...but I won't. I don't really feel like talking OR screaming at this very moment though I very well could. I feel like napping. I feel like eating blueberry pie. I feel like watching "Surf's Up". I feel like "grabbing The Sac" with Carol. I feel like wearing my Shark Attack! Records sweat pants. I feel like itching my tattoo. I feel like telling y'all I've been invited to join the honors program at schooly. I feel like going away for Bill's Birthday weekend. And that about sums it up!

Monday, October 08, 2007

I love the way you way you call me 'baby'.

Life is muy bien, my puppies!

I'm refusing to be melacholy anymore. F "depressed" straight in the A. All I need to kick the blues in the side of the head is a spoonful of good old fashioned compassion and the company of any variety of Ol' Kentucky Sharks. Why didn't I figure this out weeks ago!? Small brain in a big head, I guess. So another successful weekend for the books has come to a close. My dance card was mondo full and I stretched the living bejesus out of every useable minute.

Friday I had dinner with mi familia after I added Bioethics to my already healthy schooly schedule. I injested so much garlic that I could have killed any vampires within a twenthy mile radius and that's exactly how I like it. Pungent. Leathal. Unfortunately, after just barely surviving a nasty stomach virus last week, vampirous amounts of garlic may not have been the smartest snack. I barely made it to the Corral before the cookie-tossing began. I put myself in the bed early with a stack full of flicks. Not bad!

Saturday I had to work...blather...and work was anything but f-u-n. I don't even want to remind myself of how ick it all was so I'll fast forward. I went to Target and loaded up on Halloween gear for my upcoming cool kids hang-out. Favorite purchase? Light-up porch spider, fo' sho. Then I met up with the loverly Carol Shoe-Lane for a girl's day out! We bought cups and lids for Halloween jell-o shots (I'm in college so it's aceeptable), treated ourselves at Crate and Barrel, and lunched at the Melting Pot! After a peach Bellini and a blackberry Margarita...I was goofy. I like lunchtime cocktails and gossip/shit talk with Carol more than anything. But the day didn't stop there! I had a dinner deal with Johnny Switchblade! We got take-out and wathced Knocked Up! I'll be honest...I got cranky towards the end. I had been up since the break-a break-a dawn, had recently been ill, and had another big day ahead. Again, I put myself in bed early with a stack full of flicks. Nice!

Sunday I high-tailed it to my aunt and uncle's farm. We all hung out in the burning hot sun but it was worth it. My family actually keeps me sane when they aren't busy driving me batty. My nephew was so amped just to jump in the mucky pond that it made the whole day worth it. He smelled lovely after all the tomfoolery was said and done. I used to swim in that pond...with the nasty mud squisking beneathe my feet and the fish brushing against me...and undoubtedly the monsters who live on the bottom sneaking a peak! Thinking back on my swimming hole days...EEEEW! I'm such a wuss now. I left the farm for the hood and watched the rest of the race with Puff. Crashed, dinner, hanky panky, cartoons. Weekend, out!

Watch "Pushing Daisies". I'm in love with it. And eat "Brownie Batter" ice-cream. STAT!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Now I am I am FREE!

I'm in a piss poor mood. I couldn't come up with any other clever way to describe my mood. It's poor. It's a Grade-F meat mood. And I'm getting more and more negative because I had a high class weekend and then everything went straight to Chatanooga (my idea of Hell). I have a nasty mug on. Good thing my office has a door because I might feel like slamming it in some people's faces today. Hmph.

As for my k-rad weekend, it all began rolling at an art show where my mom works. Carol and Bill accompanied me and we bought art, had cocktails, mingled, and ate the best beef on a stick I've ever had! Beef...a savory, marinated, slice of Heaven. And it's like upper-crust Heaven where the winners chill if it's on a stick. It was something different to do and I had a blast. Puffin and I had a quiet dinner together after (it was quiet because I was practically asleep) and hit the bricks. The evening was pleasant. I felt very posh. And all these people kept telling me how great I looked. Stylish and tall. Word.

Queen B came to visit. I needed her company more that I knew. We spent a lovely lunch together and had lots of girl talk. I love girl talk almost as much as I love gossip. Sometimes they are one and the same. Then we had a sensational dinner with the Shoe Lanes who are two of my favorite people on the planet. After that, sadly, we went to Club Ice! Grimm won the right to have a party there so we partied...sort of. It was fun to do something different. I, however, will never go back to Club matter how much I want to go to Wiener World for a quickie wedding and a hot dog.

In the morning we hit the Original Pancake House (damn, we did a lot of chowing down), home of the bacon pancake! I was really sad to see Becky go. But I barely DID see her go because my eyelids were temporarily made out of cement! I spent the rest of the day in a hangover-free coma. I made myself into a buttiro warapped in brand new sheets and crashed. It was like a blurry version of Heaven. I love sleep. I wish I could do it all day, every day for a month. Maybe then I wouldn't be such a sourpuss. So...despite some relationship tussling...the weekend was a success.


Work is giving me an ulcer. School is giving me cranial ouchiness. Boyfriend is giving me frown lines. I shouldn't be complaining, really. I have the bestest pals ever and they give me the warm fuzzies. My family is pretty nifty, too. Characters, one and all. And I have a job, a house, a car, Ben & Jerry's in the freezer and all the supplies to make another pot of cheese soup. I'm rocking school like it's nobody's business. I'm going to see They Might Be Giants with Carol next month. I have a boss new Shark tattoo. My DVD collection is MAMMOTH. I should be happy...right?

Someone rub my head, please.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

You remember me. I have been here always.

I saw a shirt with a man pushing a lawn moved that said, "I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself". I didn't buy it but I did appreciate it. Not because I am or ever was a cutter because I am not and never was. It's because I am a sucker for a novelty t-shirt!

Right now, I owe the very fine threads of sanity I am hanging on by to my 4 very bestest pals in the whole universe. That sounded very My Little Pony or Care Bears-esque but I can deal with it. Without them, shucks, who knows where I'd be? Probably all gothed out, listening to AFI's new emo-centric album...or maybe some cry-baby, shoe-gazer jams. I'd probably be just laying on the couch counting my bed sores. But I'm not sulking anymore. I'm doing my best to live it up. I only get one life as far as I know. I want to sleep comfortably in my coffin.

Enjoy these love notes and then vomit all over at your leisure.

Dear Johnny Switchblade,

I have no one to thank more than you so I'm putting you on top. I figured you'd get feisty if I didn't. Thanks for being so k-rad. Thanks for stuffing your face full of Japanese food (and various other foods) with me. Thanks (in advance) for coming over for "Knocked Up/Take Out" night (and various other food and movie functions). Thanks for the oodles of goofy text messages and constant wit slinging. Thanks for forcing me to listen to "Don't Look Back In Anger" twice in one evening. Thanks for the muffin joke...and other bouts of side-splitting hilarity. Thanks for ripping ass a little less and being a fraction less gay. You're my favorite accessory.

See you in Portland.

Deborah Huffington-Straussmeyer
Dear Carol High Hair,

This past weekend was pretty much just what I needed to back up my ass onto the right track again. The show was swell but Friday (post-hangover) was better and this weekend might even top it all that cupcake frosting we orgasmed over. You let me babble my hungover head off all the way to Pittsburgh and I needed it. Everything I do is a little bit more fun if you're there. Even my roasted tomato soup tasted better in your presence! Yeah, Friday was pretty much an ideal day. I slept well that night. I owe it all to you. My chest, despite my big jugs, felt lighter after you let me unload.

Where have you been all my life?

"Wah Wah!" for eternity,
Patricia Cake
Dear Queen B,

I should have tied a rope around your leg to keep you from high-tailing it to C-Bus. Why!? Why didn't I try just a little harder!? Regardless, I'm sure you already know this due to many nights of me losing my mind and faculties in your presence, but I owe my life to you. I wouldn't have survived 3/4 of the things I did without your help and unfailing friendship. Hell, I owe you a house in the Hamptons just for making me eat and brush my hair after that whole silly divorce nonsence! You are the person I wish I could be more like (without eating all that funky food...and there's that whole "hippie" thing). I can't wait to see you on Saturday!

Thanks for being my life-preserver.

Dear Puffin,

You are without a doubt the biggest pain in my can. I constantly want to kick you in the shins. But I've never been as "in" a relationship as I am with this one. All the little (good) things add up to erase all the can pains and shin kicking. You've really been there for me in recent weeks (besides that one messy incident...jerk) and I apprecaite that so much. I appreciate the post-school dinners and shark pops, most. And you've put up with me being a total crabby pants (and have snapped out of it quickly when you had your crabby pants on). I know we both have a lot going on so it's hard to step back and put the other person first. Thanks for stepping back recently. I promise I'll make it up to you (get your mind out of the gutter, pervert).

I should probably thank Phoebe for helping me find you. Note to self.

I love you,

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

She just wants to be somebody's only one.

en·nui (noun): a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom: The endless lecture produced an unbearable ennui.

Yeah. Ennui. Ennui all over the place. It's like a plague. A pox. I can't shake it and no amount of ice-cream (even Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Buns) will help. Like I said, work, school, sleep, repeat. I've managed to fit in some Pussyfooting without going berzerk. It was rough though. I just want to shut my mind off for an unlimited period of time. Right now, for whatever reason, anything and everything feels like a drag. Even eating. Even BEER. I'm having such a rough go...can't seem to stop counting the minutes before I can go back to bed. 870 sounds right.

I don't want to say I'm depressed. So I'm up to my eyeballs in ennui instead.

The only things I can even stand to attempt to wrap my mind around are whether or not dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s stepmother would be evil enough to sabotage his engine and why an elderly copule has been living at an Travel Lodge for 22 years. I think I also can rewind the series finale of Gilmore Girls and watch Luke and Lorelai smooch a few times. That's all I can handle. Mindless and meaningless. Even L.A. Ink was too much for me and that's about as shocking as a rolling pin up your can. Cause mndless and meaningless? Shooooooooot.

I've had to be at work at 5:45 daily since my warehouse manager got his head stomped on which resulted in a gazillion staples in his neck and a wired-shut jaw (he looks TUFF). I've already had 2 quizzes this week (for which I gained an A and a B, respectfully) and I have a 100 question exam today...cross your fingers that my mind temporarily stops swimming. I have to complete my solo dance for the Pussyfoot show next Thursday, not to mention work on a blind-fold dance with Karen and I'm all out of money moves.

And I'd like to have SOME FLIPPING FUN SOMETIME!!!

But it's only Wednesday. Fun is not allowed to start any earlier than Friday. Fudge.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Just when I thought I could stand on my own.

Sorry for being a dud. I've had a lot going and a lot to gab about but honestly, I jsut haven't had the will power or energy or even the desire to fill you in. Lame, I know, but that else is new? I'll give you the quick and painless version of my life but it's going to be a little less bang for your buck. Sorry if you feel slighted or disappointed but that's how it is. Man, I can't even tell if I'm angry or depressed today and I forgot to wear my mood ring. Shucks.

Work is work. Actually, work is painful. I'm not going into any wordy detail because I hate wordy people. If you cut out the amount of adjectives and fancy shmancy literary jargon that people use to try and appear smart, you'd probably realize they have nothing to say. sucks. Simple as that. But I get a fattish paycheck so...yeah.

School is school. School is actually good. I really like my Anatomy and Physiology lab. I feel like I'm really learning shtuff. The endoplasmic reticulum is so my bitch! Math makes me feel like a dummy but I've always been a math dummy. Luckily, I'm not the olderst person in the class. But I'm not the youngest either which also rocks. These little girls with braces and white belts make me chuckle. Anyone who wants to flash me flashcards and increase my brain size over ice-cream, holler.

My relationship is currently kind or irritating. It's such a roller coaster that I might as well not even talk about it. But I will just to make you sick. I love the man and had a fancy tropical vacation with him but damn, I am just doing too much of the work. I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to feel so lonely when I've been seeing someone for a year and a half (2 and a half if you want to get technical and morally wrong about it all). And sicne I know this relationship will never lead to marriage or kids and we don't even live together yet (and probably won't any time soon since my fun stuff clashes with his hotel room, minimalist motif)...I don't know. My mind is all over the place. Jackson Pollack painting up in here.

Pussyfoot Girls are stressing me out. Jen is that leaves us to 3. Is this even fun anymore? I can't even tell. That's not good. We havea show with Bob Log III and Uncle Scratch's Gospel Revival which is our first show after an almost 2 month hiatus. I should be more excited...especially is the lovely Lisa will be there. Why am I so blah about the whole thing? Why do I feel like throwing in the towel?

My life = work, school, sleep, repeat.

Monday, August 27, 2007

The board of education took away my parole!

Back to work and back to school all in one day! Sheeeeeeeeeeesh.

I guess I'll start with vacation...all I ever wanted. I actually sang that song at karaoke one drunken night. It was freeing to a certain degree while also being humiliating and crippling. Regardless. Due to damn Hurricane Dean (which did tug at my Gilmore Girls heart strings, though I had always prefered Jess and even Logan towards the end) we ended up in the filthy Bahamas instead of beautiful Mexico. Balls. But Key dog, I loved it there.

I just realized that I don't want to type anymore right now.

STAY TUNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will edit this when I get home from work/school.

Friday, August 17, 2007

You drive us wild. We'll drive you crazy!

With make-up on, my favorite member of KISS is Ace Frehley. Without make-up on, my favorite member of KISS is Paul Stanley. Wait. I may be lying. My favorite member with mae-up on MIGHT be Peter Criss. Wow. Who knew what a hard decision this would be? Who knew I would ever have to make such a decision in my life-time? Which member of KISS do I like best with make-up on? My head hurts. I'm abandoning this topic, STAT!

As of 4:00p today, I am officially on VACATION! Pretty much every itty bitty second is planned out between now and when I board that airplane for the soutern most point of the USA. Tonight I have dinner and a movie plans with Johnny that have been brewing for about 3 months now. We're hitting Applebee's and then going to see SUPERBAD! I'm bringing an extra pair of panties since I know...and Johnny guarantees...this will be a laugh riot.

Then tomorrow I have to clean, clean, clean because I don't want to come back frmo vacation to filth. That will be too much of a reminder that my vacation is over and my real life is back in action. And of course I have super, sexy Saturday evening plans but they're a little hush hush.

And Sunday...holy dog shit. That's loose ends day. Finish cleaning. Finish packing. Finish grooming (waxing, shaving, painting them damn toenails). Finish watching everything on the DVR. And TRY and get a good night sleep before our 8:30a flight to MIAMI, BABY! I'm not wearing anything but a bikini for 5 days, I'll tell you what.

Miami ---> Florida Keys ---> Cozumel, Mexico ---> Miami. That's where I'll be in case you never hear from me again. Either Hurricane Dean got me or the electric monkey did. If you'd like to know if it was nice to know you, I'll tell you now that it was! But seriously folks, I have Bonine, a life jacket, 2 bikinis, my boyfriend and a bar tab. I don't think I could be any safer or better prepared!

And when I return, I gotta go back...back...back to school again! It's bye-bye fun, get your homework done.You better be in by ten! I gotta go back...back...back to school again. Whoa, whoa, I gotta go...back to school...again!

Sorry for the musical interlude. I'm actually really excited. Especially about buying new school supplies. I love fresh paper and notebooks and pens. And I also love that unlike at work, I can wear my pajamas to school every day if I so feel like it. And I don't think I'm going to share the classroom with many young recent high school graduate scumbags in my Anatomy and Physiology for Diagnostic Medical Sonograly lecture and lab. God, the prospect of note-taking and quizzes is making me feel frisky. Straight As...I promise you that much. I try not to make promises I can't keep. THAT makes ME feel like a scumbag.

And also...R.I.P. Karma. You can chew my shoes in dog heaven!

Friday, August 10, 2007

I've made a lot of stops all over the world.

In ten days, I'm blowing this pop stand, and no, that's not some new twisted fetish. It's a fact. In ten sweet, luscious, delicious days, I'm going on vay-cay and it couldn't come at a better time. Some people out there, even my family, has made comments about how many places I've gone this year and how much travelling I've done. How is it possible when I'm so poor and scrappy? Well, I squirrel my nuts away when I want/need something. I haven't been good about nut-hording in the past but the thought of umbrealla drinks and crystal blue waters to swim in? It was worth cutting some corners.

There's a big boat with my name on it. Well, maybe not MY name...

Last night, I did my favorite thing ever. I bought all my travel shtuff. Shampoo, conditioner, lotion, tooth paste, toothbrush, body warsh, loofa, Q-tips, THE WORKS! I bought a new fancy pair of dinner shoes and some super heavy duty sunscreen. I bought a red polka dotted shirt because nothing scream CRUISE like polka dots! I'm starting to get so antsy, couting down the days like 10 is sooooo many. Far away like Christmas. But on the flip side, I'm thinking 10 DAYS IS NOT ENOUGH! I need to clean my digs! I need to do boatloads (har-har-har) of laundry! I need to find my faovrite bikini! Why is vacation preparation so stressful!?!? WHY CAN'T I STOP SINGING THE GO-GOS???

In all actuality, my vacation starts in less than 8 days. The second I clock out of this joint next Friday, my brain and body are official in relaxation mode. Technically, I won't be able to relax until we've made it to the airport on time and then until we've made it on the boat before departure. We (Bill and I) are travelling with someone whose name just happens to be the name of a kown terrorist or fellon or something. I suspect rubber gloves and some action at the airport! My plan, honestly, is to have some fun with my fella and our friends (Sharon and Dave) and NOT talk about work and NOT worry about work. I want yummy food and umbrella cocktails and I want to dance my pants off and to swim until I resemble a prune! I've been planning this for almost 90 days now. My summer fun is due!

T-n-C DYNOMITE are being cool enough to take care of my babies, who I will miss painfully. But I got them a new recliner to cover in hair and some obnoxious new toys...the cats, not the they're loving mama lately. This has actually been a really phat summer and this is a good way to wrap things up. I don't even mind that it's been raining daily in Miami, Key West, and Cozumel. As long as I'm not the manager of delivery service for a week, a little hot sumemr rain is worth it!

Banana pancakes and daquiris, HERE WE COME!

Friday, August 03, 2007

Now we grieve 'cause now it's gone.

This is number 300. Bow down and kiss it's slender feet.

I had a dream last night that I met Hugh Hefner's girlfriends, something I've wanted to do. I hugged Kendra who would not be my first choice to hugh (Bridgette...swoon) and it was a very cold hug. They were all very cold and I was incredibly disappointed. We were at some department store where they were promoting handbags and not a lot of people were there. I scrounged around looking for even one Playboy bag that I would carry but they were all duds...and I was literally crawling on the floor. The store was really disorganized in my dream. Maybe it represents my house these days. Regadless...

I was then with a friend and we heard the girls talking about ditching this place so they could go drink Candy Shops, which are fancy drinks from Dave & Buster's. I ran over and gave them directions but they didn't seem very receptive. I hope they got lost. I was then headed for the escalator which was stuffed between two walls like it should have been a stairway (again, possibly my digs), and Kendra was there handing out orange wristbands. She looked like a perfume girl. On the escalator, I passed a very angry looking Hef and I told him his girlfriends were miserable bitches (which I hope to God isn't true).

Then I woke up. Depressed.

I'm a little blue these days. I guess that's why I was asleep on my couch by 9:00p. Then I was up all night with a sick son who was throwing up on anything that would stand still, including my feet. So it's the middle of the night and I'm washing cat toss off my paws. I didn't cry no matter how much I wanted to because I was still half asleep...too incoherant to cry. But I'm not throwing a pity party or anything. I'm laying low until I decide what kind of change I need to make to adjust my attitude. It needs to be wrenched on.

Viva la weekend.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Chewin' on glass and a ticket stub.

Summer is almost over if you can believe that, which I can't because that means time is flying and when time flies, I get older. How's that for a run-on sentence? In seventh grade, I wrote a run-on sentence for English class that had over 1,000 words. I read it in front of the class and was the run-on sentence champion. Boy was I proud! I only remember that it had a lot to do with a limo and a girl names Lisa that I latched on to for a very short time. I hear she got pretty skanky after grade school. Too bad, especially with our Catholic upbringing and all.

I have a pretty nasty sunburn from the race in Indianapolis. Much like any other race, Bill drank too much and acted like an ass-hat. Is it sad that I'm getting used to that? Regardless, The Brickyard was my favorite track so far, our seats were perfecto, and Tony Stewart won the damn thing (and got fined $25,000 for swearing on television...Lincoln Electric represent!). It was a pretty ideal race despite my boyfriend's ass-hatness and the burning hot heat that sucked every ounce of alcohol out of my pores. Pity.

But the race wasn't even the best part of the weekend. It was everything we did on the ride home which may seem goofy to YOU, but I had my best friend and my fella and we were pretty happy. We had a Bob Evans breakfast (raspberry crepes, yum), a DQ adventure, fun at the Goasis (I pooped there. I had my own sink and the bathroom had a couch. In between the men's and women's bathroom, Johnny heard people getting in on in the family can...I don't think that's what it was designed for), Ohio Cheddar at Grandpa's Cheese Barn (!!!), The Simpson's movie and finally, and best of all, I might say, SLEEP! It was hard to come back to work. It was actually a disaster to come back to work. Booooo.

Our cruise is 18 days away and school starts right after. I had this long countdown list of things I was looking forward to doing this summer. With summer being almost over, my social calendar is deflating. I need to find things to pump it back up. Besides the cruise and school, I'll be going to Chicago with the Shoe-Lanes this fall. I want to schedule a trip to Niagara Falls, fo' sho. I bet there will be at least one more race, even if I swore that one was my last one...I can't get away from the burning rubber...we saw a car on FIRE! I need to head south (so dirty) to visit Lisa (even dirtier). I'm sure there will be Pussyfoot shows galore. And speaking of...

Check this out! You only get a little glimpse of us doing The Pop-Up Song with our umbrellas, a little of Jen's leg, a wink from Karen, and Carol's rear-view. But STILL! Here we are:

Monday, July 23, 2007

I've got to get a move on with my life.

I don't even know where to begin. I've been a bad blogger and the fact that I call myself a "blogger", is just foolish. Regardless, I'm sure I've had plenty of filth and nastiness to blather on about but...the second you get a second, there's something else you've commited yourself to do! Therefore you have no time to serve the juicy details up in the proper manner (which would be in the manner of serving a luscious steak to a starving carnivore). I'm rambling, I know, but it's early and I'm ashamed of myself and I don't know where I want to begin and I don't know if I even WANT to begin! Do I just talk about the weekend? Do I give a short synopsis? Do I just STOP RIGHT NOW!?!

The Pussyfoot Girls are draining the life out of me while giving me new life at the same time. It's like a vampire thing. As soon as we got back from Heavy Rebel, we had 3 shows to prep for. Leroy Thompson was k-rad, per usual, if you don't count the fact that I tore a muscle in my ASS and wept on the floor of the garage. It was an incredibly clean floor, by the way so that made the moaning purely from pain and not disgust.

The Dragway 42 show was this weekend and while I wasn't looking forward to it (I have a life out side of the PFG that sometimes causes stress, anxiety, and violent tummy aches), we did a great job and secured a plethora of new fans, very, very young and very, very old! Best "I'm Shakin'" ever according to Little Jen. I concur.

But this weekend...this weekend I'm actually counting down the days for! The Old School Sinema Summer Spectacular (kill them with aliteration) is on Friday at the Pirate's Cove and we will be there as your Universal Pussyfoot Girls (I'll be Frankenstein and a hot one to boot...WITH BOOTS). Everyone should be there either to see us (or Devilibillys, Yokels, Cult of the Psychic Fetus, Cap Gun Cowboys) or just to celebrate Halloween in July and be in a local horror flick!

After that show, I'm giving myself permission to drop dead.

But I CAN'T drop dead because as I've stated, and as my record of live birth claims, I still have a LIFE. There's work and there's family and there's a boyfriend and there's friends and there's my house...none of which can be weeded out. Even vacation is stressful! This past weekend, I managed to fit in a PFG show (event, rather, since it was all the live long day), a Miss Firecracker show, and a movie date. But I had to miss seeing my favorite band with my sister, letting her down, I'm sure. I hate letting people makes me feel dirty. Unshowered.

And this weekend...heavens to Betsy! First we have the show/movie shoot, then my nephews graduation party, and then we high-tail it to Indianapolis for the race! My entire body and brain aches just soaking it all in. EVEN HAVING FUN IS WORK THESE DAYS! I'm sorry I'm bitching and moaning and groaning but I have to. Or I am bound to get a bleeding ulcer. I'm pretty sure one started eating me alive last night. Sheeeeeeeesh!

You might as well declare me a zombie once school starts.

8.25 hours until I can work out!
4 days until the Old School Sinema (PFG) show!
6 days until the Indianapolis race!
26 days until Jen and I go to Coney Island!
28 days until Miami, Key West, y Cozumel!
33 days until school starts!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

You've...gotta be stacked!

I would love to ramble on and on about how this was the best Heavy Rebel ever and I've never had that much fun in an eternity. And I could babble about how great it was to come home to k-rad things have been since my return. And I could even go as far as to pimp the 4th Annual Rockabilly Deluxe that is going down at Leroy Thompson Choppers featuring the Pussyfoot Girls for the 3rd year in a row. But I won't do any of that.


I started feeling sluggish last night and woke up to a full blown summer cold. Today is NOT the day to have this. I have 12 hours of fun, drinking, dancing, and rocking out ahead of me! I've been counting down the flipping days for crying out loud. Not to mention that as soon as I leave work here in an hour, I have ten gazillion things to do before heading out. Gotta pack, gotta primp, gotta clean the car out and then load it back up. I'm DOOMED!

All I want to go is die on my couch. Is that too much to ask?

55 minutes until I can work out!
5 hours until Leroy Thompson!
7 days until Dragway 42 and TMBG!
15 days until Indianapolis!
37 days until Miami, Key West, y Cozumel!
42 days until school starts!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Head out on the highway!

I'm leaving for Heavy Rebel tonight and it couldn't be coming at a better time. I have to get out of this place. Away from my job, my relationship, my responsibilities. Just for a little while. Sometimes you just need a break from life but you can't press pause or freeze time. So you're forced to change your situation in order to get some sort of a break. I know lots of people out there, including my ever crabby boyfriend, who looooooove to get a break. Well, I'm lucky enough to be able to escape. So I'm doing that.

It's my 5th Heavy Rebel and I'm expecting the best year ever.

The first year, I went with my ex-hubby, Lisa, and Ben. I really didn't know them. I really didn't know anyone. It took me about a day to warm up as it was a lot to take in. That was probably my least fun time. Not because it wasn't was! The years that followed just topped it, that's all. Number 4 out of 4.

Year two, I kidnapped Jen and we fell in love. She was a mere 17 and I have fond memories of the ride down...talking and laughing. We had bugs in our hotel room but didn't mind. There was too much fun going on. My mind was overloaded with fun!! But on the last day, I lost Ezra's camera and threw up the entire ride home. It was a bad ending to a great weekend. That sophomore effort ranks in at 3 out of 4.

The third year was my favorite year YET! All of my friends were there and I was really beginning to pal up with Tom and Carol who were out neighbors at the hotel. That was the year of synchronized swimming, Psychocharger, and flag theiving. I didn't throw up, NOT ONCE, the bands were coo-coo nutty and there are one gazillion photos to document the blast that was had. 1 out of 4, for sure.

Last year was excellent, of course, because I got to spend even MORE time with Tom and Carol and they were right across the hall. But it couldn't top 2005. No matter how much steak I ate or how many beers I drank, something was missing. Everyone seemed a little off. earns a steady 2 out of 4.

And this year...

Friday, June 29, 2007

It felt so good he bought everyone beers!

Something smells fishy and it's not me. I smell like peaches.

Weird occurrence on the way to work today. I was trucking along and running a titch late but whatever. I'm wearing my new apple shirt and my bossom look plentiful so what's a minute or two here and there? Moving on. I saw a giant sign in someone's yard and assumed it was one of those memorials to someone who died in the military. Those seem to be spreading like wildfire these days. But it wasn't one of those, nor a shrine to any person who had died, and it wasn't an advertisment of any sort for a yard sale of what not. But it spooky, creepy, spine chilling poorly spray painted letters, the giant sign gave me the heebie jeebies.


This was a mammoth sign and it really made me uncomfortable. I'm assuming someone hit the dog and left it for dead, high tailing it out of there. If I was that person, I'd find an alternate route because seeing that sign was haunting...and I didn't even kill the damn dog. I don't even like dogs! But it reminded me alot of one of those Creepshow movies where the lady hits a hitchhiker and he keeps showing up everywhere saying, "Thanks for the ride...lady". I assume this sign had the potential to haunt someone. It was eerie with it's drippy spray paint. And obviously this event really hurt these people since they put the biggest, scariest sign in their yard. I think these people probably butcher people in their shed. in peace, Spot.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

You say I'm going to die when you tell me.

Awwwww SNAP!

I've got a busted digit! It's not as bad as it sounds though it is painful enough to make me cry when I'm by myself in my cubicle. Sadly, in my relationship, you don't get a lot of sympathy or help when you're sick or injured. Man, Bill really didn't know who he was falling for, did he? The sickest klutz on the block. But screw him. He can whine about his earaches and backaches and life aches to someone else. He's not getting any more of my good, ol' fashioned compassion.

But back to the break...

The weekend got off to a rocky start. My boyfriend had his period so I gave up my Grand Prix ticket so he could go with a buddy. Never spreads his PMS around his pals. Just his woman. So I turned his frown upside down but inherited one of my own. I was, in turn, supposed to go out with the girlfriend of the buddy and she ditched me. I ended up driving home in a furious rage, having a few cocktails, and falling asleep with the Girls Next Door. Wouldn't have been a bad Friday in general but it SUCKED when the air of being ditched was looming. I could have gone with Bill and the buddy...there WERE 3 tickets. Instead, I stewed and am still stewing. I can hold a nasty grudge.

Woke up with a rather large chip off my shoulder. Verbally tussled with my man over the phone while shopping for pasta salad supplies. Don't think I can ever go to that Marc's again. My guy...he sucks at the whole "cheering up" and "sympathizing" gig. He's pretty self-involved at times...full of himself, if you will. But I knew this from the get-go. Arrrrrrr...this isn't even the point! I'm just blathering on and on.

And this type of blather is hurting my paw.

Went to Tom's (and Texas Pete's and Dennis') birthday par-tay and put on a happy face. I refuse to be a bummer in public. They should give tickets for that and honestly, I have enough people and things in my life that are bummers (please reference above where a friend ditched me when I tried to make things easier and more fun for HER EVENING...pffft). So I had some cocktails, rocked out, posed for photos, goofed off, and...



I'm just doing that for dramatic effect since I know he feels REALLY horrible about the whole thing. And it was an accident! I'm not mad even in the least even if I am in mind-numbing pain today. I kept putting off a trip to see the doc because I kept being told there was nothing that could be done. Olive Garden and a movie did help ease the pain...or mask it for awhile. Bill put a splint on but it was the worst kind, I guess. It was straight rather than curved and hindering my recovery. I learned this last night when I shelled out $50 to learn about chip fractures and splints and hot water soaks and Darvocet. My mitten does look less like a space ship now and more like a burn victim.

But it will all heal up and everything will be gravy. I don't use my right ring finger for a whole lot anyway. It sort of just hang out looking small and skinny. I wish you could see me type! You'd be bent over (and not in a good way) in hysterics. In fact...I need to stop typing. My hand muslces are kaput. Wish me luck in the whole healing process. My mom keeps throwing the word "arthritis" around which is a bummer. And these damn chip fractures and splint dressings are bummers enough.

End trasmission.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Destiny is calling me!

I am experiencing an overwhelming sense of BOREDOM right now. I know that there has to be some down time in life but I don't handle boredom very well. Especially when things have been on such a roll. I've been cleaning my house room by room and weeding out for the big, bad, vacation cash garage sale. I've parted with some things I've never thought I would but I've just accumulated too much...shtuff. And I've been cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. And I've been all in a tizzy getting ready for school (whip out the saddle shoes and short skirt...I'm a school girl again!), meeting with advisors, applying to my program, planning my schedule. So when you're all go! go! go! and then STOP...boredom. It's boring. And I can't stand it.

But here's a dose of excitement you may already know about...

I got two new front teeth on Friday. They didn't use any Novocaine which rots because the itty bitty top portion still containing root and acting as the base for the new pearlies still had FEELING. That part was still REAL! Still LIVING! It was traumatic. And I'm still getting used to my new fangs. It's all weird up in there. He gave the teeth texture because real teeth have texture. And I keep licking the texture. I'm going to lick my gums raw, I'll tell you what.

I guess I should have explained the WHY of this story. I was in a horrible bar fight this week and some bitches knocked out my grill. My teeth should be made of steel with all the calcium I get. It looked like two Chicklets flying across the bar. And blood everywhere, including in one of the girl's faces...where I spit it! I looked like Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel. I was all icky and gummy. Like Grandma. It was a very thug moment in my life but once I got home after the incident, I bawled like a baby.


In the 4th grade, Matt Landy tripped me and I fell knocking out most of my front tooth. It was bonded and everything was A-OK. However, as the years go by, the bond breaks. And the more they replace the bond, the more they have to chip away at the tooth next to it, therefore needing to bond that one as well. And it's just come to a point where both front teeth are pretty fake outside of the tippity top which the bond is built on. Eventually, they will need to be capped.
One of those stories is true. Take your pick!

And all of this stuff is a total boredom cure, for sure!
5.5 hours until I can work out!
17 days until Heavy Rebel!
25 days until Leroy Thompson!
32 days until Dragway 42 and TMBG!
40 days until Indianapolis!
62 days until Miami, Key West, y Cozumel!
68 days until school starts!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I am leaving but the fighter still remains.

It was such an exhausting weekend that I haven't even had the strength to talk about it until now. And even now, I'm getting tired just thinking about that stretch of days. It took me awhile to prepare for our trip to the race and it was waaaaay past my bedtime before I actually sawed wood. There we were in the middle of the night trying to figure out just how to fit ten tons of camping equipment into the Earl Mobile. It was like a clown car. My back window might as well have been none existant.!

I got weighed and measured which was a nice way to start my mini-vacation. Lost a few pounds, 4% of my body fat took a hike, and some inches melted off of my thighs, abs, and waist (which is already small to a goofy degree so I have to change that up a bit). It made me feel so powerful and so accomplished! I worked out and we hit the dusty trail! Pocono International Raceway or bust! And we certainly had some run-ins with "bust" because we got LOST! Or shoudl I say Bill got us lost! We drove 140 extra miles before we finally found the racetrack and then the boiling death continued accumulating.

MORONS! Everyone employed there was half braindead. I could have murdered at least 10 people while we were shuffled around from gate to gate. No, you're camping here. No, you're camping there. I have no idea where you're camping. There is no gate 6. You need to be staged. Blah blah blah blah. By the time we ended up where we were supposed to be and found our camping plot...well...I couldn't crack a beer fast enough, I'll tell you what. But if you think that we could finally relax at this point...we couldn't! We ran out of lighter fluid! This meant no cooking and no fire! FUCK! Or should I say, we sacrificed what fluid we DID have so we could have a fire. We're not genius' by any means.

And nothing got easier. We were shuffled around all the next day while trying to figure out how to get to our seats. Back and forth. Back and forth. You have to go to this entrance. You have to leave the track and walk all the way around. This leads to pit road. How did you even get in here? I was ready to just flip out. There's no other way to describe it. I wanted to FLIP! When we finally get some accurate directions, we discover that we had just been sent on a wild goose chase when our entrance was right in front of our faces! IDIOTS! Them, not us.

So we go to check out the merch trailers and theer are drivers EVERYWHERE! JJ Yeley, Reed Sorenson, Brian Vickers. And HOLY HELL! JAMIE MCMURRAY!!!! I was mere feet away from him, fighting back tears. I was actually star struck. I have pictures to prove just how close to me he was. I screamed "I LOVE YOU JAMIE" and Bill died a little inside. Still, at that point, nothing could bring me down. Not even the rain that delayed teh race 3 hours and eventually forced us to pack up camp and high tail it home. Oh, I'm sorry. That DID bring me down! It was AWFUL! We smelled like wet dogs and wrapped our trip up a day early. We weren't even there 24 hours!JESUS!

But Gordon did win the race by default so I won $230. Rad.

How did we spend our final day off since we were driving home from Pocono? We got a pizza, watched a movie, and crashed. The next day, we hosed off and headed to Hoggy's for lunch. It was supposed to be a pre-cursor to a full day of drinking. Nothing is better than drinking when everyone else is working hard and stressing out. But a mistake was made when Bill decided to try the Hoggy's Challenge. Oh Lord. We couldn't talk to each other through the whole meal because he had work to do. I couldn't even look in his direction without wanting to toss. He ate everything...I can't even discuss what he ate...and got a free t-shirt. The rest of the day consisted of sleeping, moaning, and slothing. I tried drinking but it's not fun alone. Damn you Hoggy's Challenge!

So the weekend is over. I know it sounds utterly awful...and portions of it were. But the quality time was good. The snuggling, the talking, the napping. Just being together and not biting each other's heads off. Jamie McMurray was good...souveniers are always good. Bill is good. Life is good.

But BELIEVE ME...I'm not doing squat this weekend! Cleaning, prepping for the garage sale, Jen's party, vegging, working out. That is the extent of my plans. My brain and body need a break.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

It took a twist but I turned.

I need to start carrying around a little note book with me at all times. I always see or hear odd things that I want to share with all of y'all and I THINK that I will remember them, but I never do. They're always interesting and strange or funny, a nice break from the ramblings of my life. Alas, they go out as fast as they come in, leaving my brain vacant of anything noteworthy. So I'm forced to ramble on.

I have a meeting with the admissions advisor at Tri-C next Thursday. I've decided to bust out the plaid skirts and saddle shoes and go back to school. Knowledge is never wasted, or so says my mom. I did learn plenty in Human Sexuality, after all. But enough about my smarts. I was mulling a few different options over in my head and while Psychology is my thang, I don't want to go to grad school. I want to have a life and not be married to my career. I see how people who are like that turn out and it's not for me. I WANT TO LIVE! I've decided to check out Diagnostic Medical Sonography with the OB/GYN field (so I can talk about woman bits and fetus' all day long). I'm so jazzed about it...and not just because I get to wear scrubs!

I can't join the program until next fall so I'm going to get my pre requisites and shadowing out of the way AND I'm going to get a Phlebotomy certificate (!!!) just to give me a leg up on everyone else. One more skill to tack on. And no, I'm not just doing this so I can take a class called "Intro to Blood Colelcting", though that is a perk that I will brag all about. I can't wait to have fresh notebooks and pens. I'm all a quiver!

Our tickets to the race and infield camping passes finally showed up last night. Like the two loser nerds that we are, we made an extensive check list to make sure we don't forget anything for the weekend. It takes a lot to prepare to go to a race, especially when you're going to be there from Saturday to Monday! I can't wait to hear that vooooooooooom. It's a sound like no other. I know you think I'm a redneck now but it's not like that. It's more about fast cars and gambling, for me. And Jamie. Beautiful Jamie.

And tonight is Pussyfoot practice, per usual. We have two big shows in July and have to plan for them now! We only have 4 practices before we all hightail it to Heavy Rebel and then we have to twist-n-shout when we get back. And as I've said, so much work goes into planning a show these days. It can be mind numbing. I hope we accomplish as much as possible tonight and that I can simultaneously make contributions AND prep for the weekend. I'm a multi-tasker. No sweat.

8 hours until I can work out!
2 days until the Poconos!
9 days until Tessa's birthday jam and Jen's housewarming!
16 days until the Three Stooges Birthday party!
29 days until Heavy Rebel!
37 days until Leroy Thompson!
44 days until Dragway 42!
52 days until Indianapolis!
74 days until Miami, Key West, y Cozumel!

Friday, June 01, 2007

I think we should get together now.

Holy hot dogs! We've entered the 6 month of the year and I haven't evaluated the progress of my resolutions list lately! Sheeeeesh! Lamenting on my successes and failures seems like as good a way as any to celebrate the arrival of June, if I do say so myself. And I DO say so myself because I like to hear myself talk. Or squalk.

2007 Resolution List Evaluation, suckahs.

3. Call Bill on his bullshit - I am a pro at this. It may wind up being my biggest success of the year. And things are perty swanky right now! I'm not going overboard or I would be ignoring resolution #5...but I am speaking up when the time is right. We're in love. And utterly repulsive.

4. Treat others the way I expect to be treated - I'm not going to say I do this all of the time because no one can say that. Everyone has a jerk streak, some bigger and longer than others. I can be Queen Jerk Off. But recently, I've tried to be, ya know, a little less jerky. It hasn't really been that hard and it helps me avoid drama. And you can still be involved with gossip without being a jerk. So, go me!

5. Let the little things go - You have to or you'll go berzerk. However, it's hard to REALLY let the little stuff go. Sometimes it's more like "bottling the little stuff up"...and then you explode like a little girl packed with dynomite. It can get ugly. I'm trying.

7. Find a workout buddy and take some sort of water aerobics class - I joined a gym with 2 (count 'em, 2) workout buddies and I LOVE it! L-O-V-E! I get weighed and measured again on Saturday and I am jazzed. I'm sure I won't be any lighter because I can tell I'm gaining muscle but that's fine by me. I like having tone and definition. Farewell extra long snake arms! Plus I don't get winded as easily which is good...gotta keep that athsma wrangled. I'm feeling great. I wish it was 4:00 so I could be working out right now. Sick, isn't it?

13. Spend more time with my friends - Carol has GOT to be sick of my mug but I don't care. I like hanging with my friends. It's my favorite thing to do. And with all this Pussyfoot action scheduled for the Heavy Rebel...I'm getting some hearty Ol' Kentucky Shark action up in here. Feels good to make memories.

14. Relax! - Championship napper over here! And semi-professional vacationer. We paved the way with Vegas and we'll tie the year up with the cruise. I have a boyfriend whose brain is in knots because he works too hard or too much. It's my job to help him relax and therefore, I have to be able to. The more relaxed you are, without being a sloth, the better you can handle all the garbage that tends to invade life. So do what Frankie says...

15. Get healthier to avoid getting sick so often - Working out, eating better, getting more sleep, laughing more often, drinking water (!!!), handling stress, not smoking, drinking less, no more fast food, farewell to Pepsi. It's all good.

16. Plan some fun roadtrips (Niagara Falls!!!) with fun people - I haven't been able to get anyone on board for Niagara Falls just yet. But I did go to Pittsburgh, and I am going to Poconos and Indianapolis, not to mention Heavy Rebel (how many times CAN I talk about this?) and future visits to Columbus. My car has seen a lot of action this year and I predict alot of miles ahead. The tunes, the talking, the travel. I dig it.

18. Do some home improvements and keep the joint clean - I cleaned the attic yesterday and started in on the basement. We have a garage sale in the works so I need to start weeding. If I EVER live with Bill, we'll need a separate joint for all of my shtuff (or, as it's been suggested, an RV for races that can be parked in the driveway filled with all of my shtuff). We're collectors. I have books and movies and artwork and just plain old weird...stuff. It takes up alot of space. my place comes first. And I'm making headway.

19. Avoid drama - I've cut out a lot of dramatic people from my life so that helps. I hate being all frustrated and discouraged and filled with anger. Drama will NOT help me relax. So I'm avoiding it. Even if it's made me more of a hermit on some occasions, that's alright. I can live with that. I'm not in high school anymore so take your "so and so is mad at so and so" and shove it. Well, tell me about it first (I AM a good listener and I DO love's my weakness) but then shove it.

20. Continue to NOT jog/run and continue to HATE joggers/runners - Enough said. Though I can tolerate those who run in place and running in place in general. I do it when I work out. But still...jogging. Yuck. And jogging suits, good GOD!

21. Go to the movie theater more - I've been to the movie theater more this year than I have in the last few years combined. I have plans to see Knocked Up this weekend. And weeeeee...Ocean's 13 comes out next weekend. I'm a movie maniac. I'm still weepy that I didn't see Kickin' It Old Skool but I guess that wasn't as important to some as it was to me. There's always Netflix!

23. Get more involved in helping the Pussyfoot Girls grow! - And we are GROWING! We're interviewing new girls, planning new shows, buying new merch. And I'm happy to say, I've had my paws in everything. Carol and I were mondo busy with PFG for awhile. That was pretty much all we talked about and dealt with. After our success at the Sacred Pistons show, we're taking June off which is niiiiiiiiiice. Still practicing, just not prancing. We're on our way and we've come a LONG way since April 2005. Hot DOG! And *blush*.

26. Have a super mega fun Vegas vacation! - Done and done!

29. Keep the high five alive! - Some people still get annoyed but more recently, no one has left me hanging. That makes me feel like I've made some headway. The high five isn't just for volleyball games. It's a way of saying, "Good job, buddy" or "That's what I'm talking about" or "I'm glad we finally made concrete plans". It's so versatile. It says so much without saying anything at all. Plus, when you know a person hates the high five but hits you back anyway...they like or at least respect you because it's AGONY for them to do something so gay. Suckahs.

31. Buy more books and read them! - Books are expensive! I just finished "5 People Who Died During Sex and 100 Other Terribly Tasteless Lists". It started off great but trailed off. And I tried to read it on my lunch breaks but a lot of it wasn't food friendly. I'm moving on to "Burton on Burton" which I expect to go with my salads a little better. And my book collections has expanded and will continue to do so. I'm a book worm. What what!


Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Everybody's going off the deep end.

Once again, I need a weekend from my weekend! Estuvo loco!

Friday night...usually my favorite night of the week cause a bitch can unwind...was chaotic and paved the way for the craziness ahead indeed. Friday could have really set the tone for an awful and awfully long weekend but things can shock you from time to time. Friday...what to say about it really?

After a really screwy and mind-numbing work-realted fuck up, Sharon and I had girls night (while our boys built a fence like manly men) and really painted the town blood red. Bars, it's what we're good at. And rocking out to Miss Firecracker, we're good at that, too. Somewhere in all the insanity, there was a pole...and that's all I'm saying about that right there. And while I didn't think I had a lot to drink (in fact, I know I didn't have much at all but I also didn't have any chow), I supposedly turned into a jerkwad. But I can honestly say the jerkwad who dubbed me a jerkwad was also being a jerkwad. The jerkiness was contagious. After a night sleeping on different levels of the digs...things were gravy.

Saturday was...Saturday. Not a let down but not a thrill aminute. I thought I was poisoned earlier in the day but that passed. I kept declaring that I wanted my heart to stop beating but I really just needed it to slow the fuck down! My hatred for Home Depot and earthworms grew ever steadily but I stuck my hands in the muck and got a little dirty beautifying Bill's yard. It was satisfying as I used a shovel and handled mulch and did landscape design. I didn't sweat but it was still good stuff. I feel asleep early (I usually do when Bill's grilled chicken is involved...he's helping me in my weight loss/healthier life style plan) but that was a good deal because Sunday...whew!

Sunday, The Pussyfoot Girls piled in to two cars and high-tailed it to Pittsburgh for the Sacred Pistons Car Club's annual picnic. I had reservations but man...BLAST CITY! Everyone we met was gr-r-r-r-reat and friendly and we certainly made some new fans. We got some fat cash for performing (and our set was quite a my top 5 list, for sure...when you're not sure you'll ever seen people again, you can really go buck wild), sold a bunch of merch (thanks to Jen, her tight shirt, and her peddling ways), and just really rocked out, Memorial Day style! Our new songs went off without a hitch and I even pulled off a back bend while getting wrenched on by a hot broad. And then there was me, Karen (my future roomie) and some rowdy antics in a really old car full of liquor bottles that didn't belong to us. But that's not so PG-13! There are photos, mercy me!

And yesterday was a slice of Americana. A home-prepared rib dinner, movies, major napping, and never getting out of our pajamas...not once. Like I said, Friday could have opened the door for a really long weekend alone. But going to bed together on Sunday night, chatting up what a swell weekend we had was far superior. I like not sweating the small stuff. Like is good...and the summer is going to make it even better! Checkout the countdown, my babies:

3 hours until I can work out!
11 days until the Poconos!
18 days until Tessa's birthday jam and Jen's housewarming!
38 days until Heavy Rebel!
45 days until Leroy Thompson!
52 days until Dragway 42!
59 days until Indianapolis!
83 days until Miami, Key West, y Cozumel!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I'll try to do it right this time around.

To my ever-present mood monitores...I feel better today. MUCH better, honestly. It seems to come and go in waves and when it's bad, you sink. I hate feeling blue and I hate crying about it and I hate crying period! And E, while I'm NOT glad that you are are feeling the same waves also, I AM glad that someone else out there knows how I feel and isn't being judgey. And I feel better today so maybe that will give you solace. I got some solace of my own reading how you were feeling and sensing some, dare I say, "don't-give-a-Fuck"-ish-ness! It made me also not give a flip. And now I feel better. I feel like James Brown. I'll blame the *insert emo band here* attitude on my period or something else cliche.

But fo' real, I have so much rockin' stuff coming up and boatloads of good pals that keep me sane and a boyfriend who is crazy but loves me. Pussyfoot has been kicking ass and taking names (cliche cliche), working out is my new favorite thing to do and I'm already seeing and feeling some rockin' results, our cruise to Mexico was booked yesterday (!!!)...there's just so much good stuff. Why be blue? Why feel terrible and not sleep and not eat and have a permanently wrinkled forehead when you can laugh until your sides split and flirt and dance and have cocktails and feel accomplished and proud? I'm over this moody bullshit. I'm over people and the stupid shit they say to make themselves feel better. If being retarded helps you sleep at night, I'm all for it! I'm going to be inappropriate with my boyfriend in my cubicle instead of worrying about people and their hang-ups...or worrying period! Did you throw up just then? I bet you did and I'm lovin' it!!!

On a less vile note, CONGRATULATIONS Brian Daniel Leo! You're an adult member of the Catholic church now. And you know what comes with this besides super sugary cake with a cross on it and oodles of checks from family members? Catholic guilt, baby. Live it, love it, and keep on rockin' out to Slayer! Blood, guts, and gore will feed your soul far more than that little wafer. But honestly, Jesus rocks, too. You just need to find your own way to balance it.


Monday, May 21, 2007

But my head's to the wall and I'm lonely.

I just feel like the most awful, rotten version of myself today. I feel like complete fucking garbage. That wasn't even an interesting description but it's true. I feel like a kicked dog. I've only been at work for half an hour and I've been fighting back tears the whole time which pretty much makes me want to just get in my car and never come back here. No two weeks notice. No packing up my rubber duck collection. Just walking out on everything and everybody. It's pathetic, I know. I feel very pathetic today and whiney today and I honestly wish today was over so I could just crawl in bed and hide. That's what I'm good at. Groveling and begging and hiding.

I'm having one of those very pitiful moments in my life where I feel like I can't do anything right no matter how hard I try. I feel like I'm always doing something wrong and that I'm feeling shitty and depressed more often than I'm feeling great and having fun. It shouldn't be this way. I shouldn't have to work so hard and kiss so much ass to keep things good. I shouldn't have to fight back tears all of the time and certainly shouldn't have to feel shame. I'm honestly starting to hate myself. I guess that gives me something in common with all those people out there who hate me, too.

Friday, May 18, 2007

And you want the day to come sooner.

I had to go to calling hours for an 18 year old boy and it was incredibly difficult. I would have stayed home in a second if someone told me it was alright. I was all full of nerves on the drive and Bill wasn't any better so comforting one another was out. We did look sharp though. We always look sharp for funerals. It's kind of sick. Regardless, one of my drivers lost a son and it was very emotional and very quiet so OF COURSE I wore the world's loudest shoes! I was a walking wreck. Luckily, I only cried a little. Paid my respects and was on my way. I feel terrible for my guy though...I can't even imagine what going through something like that would feel like. I don't want to think about it. He's in my prayers and I hope he's alright. I told him I was there for whatever he needed so I guess that's all I can really do.

To make things even more emo...I went to see Morrissey last night! The pope of mope! He really was amazing though. He translates very well live. He ever rocked some Smith's songs!! Weeee. I went with my sister which was fun and enjoyed one cocktail so I feel relatively alright today. Not as emotionally drained as I thought I would be after one of the most depressed musicians in history rocked out.

There was a lot of eye candy there but as my sister wasn't for me, wink wink. Lots and lots of boys...and they rushed the stage and kissed Morrissey's sweaty neck and were tackled by huge bouncers (which they probably LOVED). He even through out 2 sweaty shirts! Morrissey's backs SWEATS like MAD! Eek, 2 lesbians announced their upcoming articially inseminated baby and Morrissey didn't care just like most of the audience. It's due in BARELY exists! But It was a nice evening despite the lesbians. I like music. I didn't like the opening bitch who made dolphin noises for an hour and had a big band-aid on her knee. She can go die. Regardless...

National Front Disco
The Queen Is Dead
How Soon Is Now?
Everyday Is Like Sunday
Please, Please, Please
Boy With the Thorn In His Side
At Last I Am Born
First Of the Gang To Die (!!!)
I've Changed My Plea To Guilty (!!!)
Drive-In Saturday
And more...

This weekend will bring some cheer. So far it's not all gloom and doom out the cubicle window. Blue skies, green trees. Bill and I are having a mini-cookout and a fire (after I work out, of course) cause that's what we like to do. I could eat his chicken on the grill and curl up next to him with cocktails in lawn chairs forever. Le sign. Tomorrow we're vegging (after I work out, of course) so our energy is all rallied for Miss Firecracker's One Woman Band! She said I'm totally her groupie and I say it's OK because I don't just follow her around...we eat tacos together also. And Sunday, I'm going to lay low with my fella. Maybe shoot some Yahtzee. Run home, feed my babies, pitch my trash. Then it's right back to where I belong. Yeah...good times.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

No one ever said it would be so hard.

Tonight will mark a very important milestone in my life as a television junkie. It's almost too painful to talk about but I'm hoping this will be therapeutic and give my anguished heart some sweet relief. Even now, I feel like my eyes could well up with tears at any second and my chest could puff up with disappointment and disdain. I knew it was coming though I had hoped and hoped and even prayed that those fools at the CW would change their minds...their tiny peanut minds. They didn't.

Tonight is the last episode of Gilmore Girls ever. It's over.

I know it will be a great episode. I know Luke and Lorelai will kiss. I know I will have box sets of all 7 seasons to replay at will. I know that I know more about Gilmore Girls than anyone else on this planet and beyond. But no new episodes? Ever? It just hurts too much. We'll never see a Luke and Lorelai wedding. We'll never see the birth of new Gilmore Girls. We'll see see KIRK! EVER! AGAIN! Sure there are terrible things happening in the world right now that should prove more important and take a higher rank in my mind. But THIS...this is my number one. Cut off my leg and hit me in the face with it. It won't compare to my current woes.

Viva la Gilmore Girls!

Outside of that, I just took a little stroll with my fella to the edge of our work property to measure a sign. It's nice to be out of the office, even for just a few minutes. People honked at us and why not? My ass is looking phat today (and not so fat after I go work out...Sharon and I joined a new program and I plan on being fit and toned by the time we set sail to Meh-hee-co). We found some nice, dry firewood out there that we might use to have a fire on Friday. I think if Bill could have a fire every day, all year round...he would. And I'd be there as long as I have a hoodie and a cocktail!

Nothing to do on Saturday? Well I have somethign for you! Have somethign to do? Cancel! Cause miss Firecracker's One Woman Band is playing at the Beachland Tavern and I'll be right up front, obnoxiously screaming, "DO IT CAROL!". Uncle Scratch's Gospel Revival will be there, too. And some other bands, yadda yadda, but this is who I care about. Get down to the Beachland and buy a Miss Firecracker kazoo. And buy a beer for me!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Tell me darling I'm the only one that you love.

My temporary state of death and destruction is done for! I'm back to bouncing off the walls and laughing until my sides split and unleash a pack of robot wolves on the world! Even the robot wolves are feeling frisky and friendly these days, God bless those nasty bastards! Spring is in the air. I need to embrace it and be less riled up. I'm speaking my mind when I must and not sweating the small stuff. I want to have an awesome summer and I can't do that when I'm plotting gruesome murders and beat downs. The only thing that could make life better right now is if I had a Sichuan Mary with no olives!!!

Things That Will/Do Make My Awesome Life More Awesome
1. Natasha is still on America's Next Top Model!
2. Pussyfoot show in Eeeeeeerie, PA tomorrow!
3. All you can eat speghetti at the Villager on Sunday!
4. A gaggle of Miss Firecracker shows to go to!
5. Sacred Pistons car club picnic with the PFG!
6. Visiting Becky's new home!
7. Race in the Poconos!
8. Tessa's birthday party/Jen's housewarming!
9. Heavy Rebel!
10. Leroy Thompson's 4th Annual Rockabilly Deluxe!
11. Rock-n-Race at Dragway 42!
12. Kissing the bricks at the Indianapolis race!
13. Cruise to MEXICO with my Puffin!!!

Lucky 13. Lucky me!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

She wanna hit and run.

I'm in a nasty mood. I'm pretty sure I'm going to take someone down with me today and I'm pretty sure I know who it is. I am so infuriated that my skin actually hurts. The skin on my forehead, to be exact. I would love more than anything to punch someone in the face or possibly pick up a folding chair and get them in the back of the skull. Awesome. Today is going to rot.

The SCOTS show was incredible but I don't want to tarnish the glow on this page of filth. I'll brag when I feel sunnier.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Take the easy way and give in!

"They look at danger and they laugh their heads off!" - I think maybe Morrissey was talking about me when he sang this because I've been out and about, wrecking shit and stealing things. Not really, I'm just hyper active and have been as of late. But back to Mo...he actually sang this ditty all upbeat and junk. Imagine that! He must have written it on the one day out of his life that he didn't have sand in his vagina. Bottom line, I love that line. I love that song. I love that sexually confused man and his weird sweaters and big head!

Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with the Pussyfoot Girls!

Big Pussyfoot show on Saturday at the Beachland. PFG, Lords of the Highway, Southern Culture On the Skids! A-maz-ing! I really wanted to wear a wig in honor of Mary Huff but I just don't have the funds to fund a 'do. But I have something better to honor Mary with: Big Sandy gave me a kiss...*blush* pass on to her. Maybe she'll be taken aback by a random half dressed stranger smooching on her but...OK, it's really a gift for me! Back to what's important...

This is a pretty big deal showy show for us kittens...I mean, Southern Culture in the BALLROOM with a $16 ticket price??? Hot-cha! Carol wanted to do it so badly so I'm glad it all came together, even if it's just 3 of us. And speaking of Carol...she'll be playing her bass clarinet on a few of SCOTS numbers! YOWZA! And don't be disappointed that we'll be one gal down (I'm not saying if it's the chick with the biggest knockers or not). We're going to be radiating energy and entertainment all over your faces! Wow, am I thinking highly of us? I don't mean to. I just want to pump people up for SCOTS. Break in your dancing shoes, if you will.

By the way, if you missed Los Straitjackets...your loss. Rockin' great!

And for a tidy sum up, the rest of my life has been work, boyfriend, bar, Pussyfoot. All good things. Makes my life all neat and oraganized. Right now I feel a little ill but I'm trying to ignore it and push through. It's hard when it feels like someone is twisting a knife in my guts. Some of you might find that attractice...the thought of me in pain with the potential for some juicy, Jell-o-y gore. You should have seen the gore caused by my finger meeting the hungry teeth of the tape dispenser. Sounds non-critical but MAN...blood EVERYWHERE. Made the work day more special.


Monday, April 23, 2007

Flossy! Flossy!

My life is so fun right now. It's like riding the Haunted Mansion ride at Disney World with a boy you like...and you're drunk...and They Might Be Giants or some other really awesome music is playing and you're SINGING...loudly. And probably holding hands. And there's also ice cream, probably, and it doesn't make you tubby. That's how fun my life is right now. Mega fun. Mondo fun. Carol said she's trashing all of her New Year's Resolutions and replacing it with happy. I think she's rubbing her resolution off on me. And not in a dirty way, perverts!

And please don't think I'm bragging. I'm just usually wearing my a black hat with a veil and carrying dead flowers while my rain cloud follows me. Melancholy. It still shows up from time to time but that's better than all the time. I'm sure you smell what I'm steppin' in. And I'm also sure my nearest and queerest would much rather roll with me while I'm laughing and smiling and acting silly. No one likes a wet blanket, believe me. I slept under one on New Year's Eve WHILE I had P-monia!

Reasons why my frown turned upside down:

1. Carol The Shoe: I've been spending a lot of time with Carol recently and that ROCKS! She's good to talk trash with and she's a great listener and she doesn't think I have to be happy all the time. We've been doing a lot of work for the PFG together which leads me to my second reason for being slathered in joy.

2. The Pussyfoot Girls: We're REALLY getting it together. We have 5 or 6 shows lined up and some of them are pretty amazing. We've been working harder, getting better, investing more time in the whole thing. We have merchandise on the way and are improving the website and My Space page. Things are looking pretty damn good for us. I'm glad we didn't quit and I'm glad we didn't settle for how we were.

3. Boyfriend: We have a list a mile long of things we want to do this summer. He's been more supportive and of late. I think once the toxic tooth came out, it made all the difference. I was a great nurse. Maybe it finally clicked that I'm not his enemy. I'd much rather eat ice-cream, go bowling, cook out, and goof off than argue any way. He's my Puffin and he digs me. We had a pretty bas-ass weekend that included family stuff, having guests over (I love BBQ and fires and I REALLY love watching the race OUTSIDE), and a Sunday date: dinner and Grindhouse...AGAIN! Weeeeeeeee!

4. Heavy Rebel and tight pants: Heavy Rebel is 74 days away and I'm finally starting to get excited. I'm leaving a day earlier than usual and heading down with The Shoes and Rocko in the Gray Ghost. Driving to North Carolina in a van with these 3? A dream come true. We're sharing a suite and planning to rock the Hell out. And I bought a pair of tight pants just for the occasion. The weight is melting off and I figure, I'll be old one day. I better wear small bikinis and tight pants while I can. And I CAN at Heavy Rebel. Plus...I like getting drunk with my friends, taking pictures of them, dancing, singing, swimming, running amuck. Good bands, great friends, 74 days!

I'm a happy clam with a happy clam. And breakfast is waiting.


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I never had a thing to prove til there was you.

Have an incredible weekend? Check!

I just realized that I saw T-n-C Dynamite 3 times this weekend! WHOA!

Friday I had a date to go to Dave and Buster's and there were shots involved...woo wee! Then Bill and I hit Phoebe's art show at Visible Voice books. He bought art. I didn't and I should have bcause now the piece I want is GONE! But the book store (and the Phoebe) was pretty bad ass and I'm going back next week to load up on new reading material...possibly a book with "poopy" in the title. Tom and Carol were there and the book store supplied PBR and brie cheese. Fantastic. We felt like real trendy scenesters being at an art show in a bookstore with brie cheese...until I couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet.

Saturday there were sleeping pills...and sleeping...and dinner with T-n-C and Johnny Switchblade. There would have been a trip to the movies to see "Grindhouse" but we suddenly all got very old and ended up going home and putting on pajamas. And some of us watched Degrassi: The Next Generation season 4. I really wanted to see "Grindhouse".

SO I DID! ON SUNDAY! With T-n-C and Johnny Switchblade. It was like Saturday part 2. Version 2. Take 2. I don't care if it's trendy to say so, but Grindhouse was the best movie I've ever seen to date. My heart was still pounding full-throttle when it was over. Even my hatred for Rose McGowan was stomped after I saw this movie!!! And Marley Shelton?? SWOON! It had EVERYTHING a good movie should have: trash, kitsch, blood, guts, gore, MONDO GORE, terribly fake guts, terribly fake trailers (Werewolf Women of the SS!), humor, drama, intensity, chicks, nudity, terror, sex, MISSING REELS, the world's best soundtrack AND cast...A-MAZ-ING! I don't care how stupid it is, I'm going to see it again. Hopefully with Carol...again. And hopefully hopped up on cocktails because that is the only thing that could make this movie more unbelieveably bad-ass. You could almost say it was rad-ass. Certainly k-rad.

It was a wonderful weekend which, and I don't want to jinx myself, has thus far been followed up by a loverly week. Puff and I cooked dinner together and raped the television. Yesterday we had the unusual pleasure of spending a Tuesday together so we went out for cocktails with some work folks. I somehow conned him into seeing "Grindhouse" this weekend...WEE! I think the conning was actually me offering to pay for the outting. And I'm down with that. He needs some culture.

And I need to work.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Look for danger. Wind up nowhere.

Have a spooktacular and terrifying Friday the 13th everyone! Spill some blood on the streets. Let the rivers run red. Have a heaping helping of gelatinous brains. Murder a girl taking a shower in the dark. Find some unsuspecting kids getting in on in a cabin and/or tent. Or just eat some ice-cream drenched in fake blood as practice for becoming the next Canadian Dracula.

For some reason, the first thing that popped in my head regarding the date had nothing to do with a deformed man in a hockey mask and a summer camp filled with fashion challenged, horny teens. Initially, I thought about cocktails. Then I thought about how Oliver Peck is obsessed with the number 13 so every Friday the 13th, Kat von D gets a 13 tattooed on her somewhere. Not that I'm in to Kat von D as much as I'm into the date but she has one on her earlobe and I think it's adorable. And I mean adorable. It's cute. Happy Friday the 13th Oliver and Kat.

To keep with the theme, let's talk about blood-n-gore. Bill's face swelled up like Sloth from "The Goonies" due to an abscessed tooth. He was in unbelieveable amounts of pain so I had to play nurse. I also got to see a cereal bowl full of blood on the bedroom floor which doesn't happen every day. I only looked at the bowl for a split second but it was long enough to see bloody strings of infection swimming around in it. Delicious!

So the abscessed tooth has gone to tooth Heaven (and if you know me, you know teeth out of the mouth TERRIFY ME), the swelling has gone down, and the agony he suffered is subsiding. I've truly never seen anyone in so much pain...especially such a tuff guy! So respect your teeth or they'll come back to bite you in the face! There's a horror movie right there...disrespected teeth attack a small and toothless town without flouride. I'm all a quiver!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Well the boy's not right in the head.

Happy Birthday, Hef! Who loves ya, baby?

I officially hate Easter along with every other holiday that I previously hated. I don't care if it's the day Jesus cracked out of his Easter egg and was born. I'm over it. But I'm all about the Jigsaw and seeing Miss Firecracker live. A-maz-ing. Mind-blowing. Vagina-shaking.

I did get an Easter basket which was a little bit of a stunner. And it was beautiful. It had 4 stuffed multi-colored bunny Peeps, Goobers, Snow Caps, an M&M egg, a Tony Stewart air freshener, a Jamie McMurray car, a new skeleton key (R.I.P. old one...sniff sniff), a Miller Lite t-shirt and hat. It's fun to get an Easter basket. It was a treat.

I thought I'd have a lot more to ramble on about today but no. The Jigsaw was an amazing time, Saturday was low key and involved a lot of sleeping, and Easter welcomed me with a flat tire and a boyfriend with a bad attitude. But I'm looking forward. Today is pay day so some bills can get paid, it's Hef's birthday so I can eat cake if I want to, and The Pussyfoot Girls are rocking the Beachland next month with Southern Culture On the Skids.

Life isn't too bad while at the same time rotting hardcore. Go figure.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I know what comfort you are.

I smell like a Hall's. I'd almost rather smell like a foot. Or the foot or a skunk. I'm a big fan of the metholyptussy smell of a Hall's but my throat feels like I've been washing down razor blades with high-proof Vodka. Things have been so dandy recently that it would just figure that an illness is headed in my direction. I'm trying to think positive and work all the preventative measures but all I can think about is the bed I just crawled out of and the Chinese chicken soup with extra, extra noodles that I slurped down last night. I'm really not a good sick-o.

Outside of the sore, stiff, icky, sneezey...I had a gnarly past few days. My Friday get-together was more than I could have imagined since an impromptu improv sing along busted out! Miss Firecracker even sang a few ditties. The food was great, the company was better, and the beer was a-flowin'. I slept in and I slept well, even if I did sleep alone (it happens when boyfriends have the sick-os).

Some might say I wasted my Saturday but I say I embraced it like a gay man does a fur coat. I slept in, I ate lunch, I raped the DVR and the Netflix, I slept some more, I had dinner, I got a package from with 7 movies in it (I wish Meg-Dog and I still talked to I could say "Todd Sparrow" and someone would care), I vegged, I robotted-it-up, I slept some more. It was pretty much exactly what I needed. I didn't leave the house! I didn't shower! I didn't even poop! Rock!

Sunday was a full on adventure. It was one of the best Sundays I've had since Becky lost her marbles and moved to C-Bus. I played Easter Bunny and dropped off some baskets for Bill's kiddies. Sure, I may have been move Playboy Bunny that fluffy bunny but they got candy and toys so...rock, right? Then I had brunch with mi familia because my mommy recently turned 6-0! She had a good time and that's what mattered. I had a goat cheese and asparagus omlette, and that was pretty important, too. After a brief visit to my castle, I met the Shoe-Lanes and Switchblade for tomato basil soup and "Blades of Glory". SNOWFLAKE! Fantastic. I headed over to Bill's where we had a few cocktails, watched the tube, and mussed the sheets. *blush*

And even though I got zero to no sleep and was dragging all day at the place that employs me, Monday was pretty swell, too. And Mondays are usually the equivalent of getting vaccinated (maybe that doesn't sound bad but I HATE vaccinations...weep) or having digestive issues in public. It consisted of television, Chinese chow, and lots of laughing. Good times!

But now I smell like a Hall's. Wah.

Friday, March 30, 2007

And that's what everyone's talkin' about!

I am hosting a small and sensual get together tonight and I'm not sure whether I'm more pumped about that or about the fact that I'm eating cottage cheese mixed with blueberry pie filling! That was a long and pointless sentence but I'm really excited about my low calorie, high taste breakfast. My taste buds are all riled up. Regardless...

My event tonight started out as a game night because I wasn't really fulfilling my game night requirement on my resolution list. But now it's developed into a good, ol' fashioned beer drinking fiesta. It won't be much of a fiesta without Air Supply but Sugar banned them for some reason. She just hasn't been properly exposed. And it's not like I'm also busting out the vinyl Air Supply at every gathering. Just when I'm setting a mood. But I forgive you Sugar for forbidding them. You're still every woman in the world to me.

My fella isn't coming tonight which is disappointing. I suppose I could force him to attend, ear ache and all, but...meh. I'll just have to have enough fun for the both of us. But I won't eat enough mozzarella sticks for the both of us. That could be both dangerous and disgusting.

What am I rocking on 2007 Resolution List thus far???

3. Call Bill on his bullshit - maybe this affects my "let the little things go" resolution but it's just something I have to do. Maybe I sound like a nag but...meh.

4. Treat others the way I expect to be treated - I've mended some fences...tried to be there for people as much as I can. Trying to be a better pal.

11. Bust my hump at my job proving that I'm worth more money - I got a raise so this one is officially checked off!!!

13. Spend more time with my friends - tonight...duh.

18. Do some home improvements and keep the joint clean - I painted my kitchen sun shiney yellow, the carpet on the stairs has been ripped up, the cats got new litter boxes, and my closet gave up 4 bags full of garbage...I can see the floor of it again!

19. Avoid drama - word.

20. Continue to NOT jog/run and continue to HATE joggers/runners - word, squared.

21. Go to the movie theater more - we saw "Wild Hogs" and I'm hoping to go see "Blades of Glory" tomorrow.

24. Totally rape Netflix for all it's worth - I currently have "Happy Feet", "The Holiday", and "Turistas" PLUS I upped my account back to 5 movies at a time. It's my guilty pelasure!

26. Have a super mega fun Vegas vacation - DONE! Another one checked off!

29. Keep the high five alive - I high-five whenever I get the chance. People hate it but I love it.

31. Buy more books and read them - I just finished "Scar Tissue" by Anthony Kiedis and I'm doubling up on "Running With Scissors" and "King Dork".