Thursday, October 29, 2009

Can't have no dirty dead.

OH. MY. GOD. I jsut got the most bananas news ever and I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT! It involves the previous news that I ALSO couldn't talk about. But it's pretty awesome. And eventually...some time before January...I can talk about it and I WILL, endlessly. So...person that is forcing me to keep a secret...THANKS! I can't wait. Really. And I think a short silver sequined dress for the occasion. A nice combo of both "pretty" and "tacky trapeze artist".


I get my copy of "Jesus County Fair" today! I CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH IT! Being a crazy hillbilly bride and a stripping/vommiting chicken was the most fun I had all summer. YES!

Todd and I made an impromptu visit to Halloween USA yesterday to gather some last minute tidbits for my costume. During some shower shenanigans, I expressed how I sort of wish I had gone the bloody, gross, gorey route instead of trying to be so damn adorable. And POW! Right off the top of his skull, Todd found a ways to make my adorable costume be bloody, gross and gorey! WEEEEEE! I get to go BACK to the Halloween joint and buy FAKE FLIES, GUTS, MAKE-UP and BLOOD!


And since things pretty much seem to be squared away for Halloween, I think we, along with the Shoelanes, are going to end up at the WCSB Masquerade Ball (after my parents Trick-or-Treat shindig). It's a free party and the Zero Boys are playing, along with others that I know nothing about. And I don't know if adult beverages are permitted (help me out with that, Hot Trash). Couldn't gather too much info. I may have to whip out my "What Wouldn't Jesus Do?" flask. What I DO know is that my buddy Erin is one of the DJs for the evening (I'm requesting "Bacon Grease" and "Tastes Like Poison" if you're not going the "spooky only" route) and there is potential for lots of pals to be there.

Since I probably won't blog during the weekend, which starts TODAY with our usual PJs adventure, let me just say the following to all of my boils and ghouls out there...HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEEN!!!

This day...anything goes!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tell me, what's the cause of my condition?

This madness shoots me...

The medical mystery has been solved! Thanks to a test the doc threw in right before I walked out the door (I was beginning to think those vampires liked the way my blood smells), I have some answers. Now I can officially tell everyone who yaps their traps, spouting "Oh, you're ALWAYS sick", to take a flying leap. I AM always sick...but now I know there's a reason. And since I'm stuck with this for life, you can keep any negative comments to yourselves.

The virus I can is incredibly common. My doc said that if she tested herself, she'd probably have it. Todd probably has it. YOU probably have it. The difference is that my condition is chronic and becomes reactivated, making me feel lousy and parading itself around like a cold or flu. And it's both weakened my immune system and caused Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. So I have an explaination as to why I'm always sick and why I'm always tired. The virus is clinging to white blood cells in my throat and immune system therefore I can never shake it.

So what CAN I do?

The doctor prescribed me a drug "which MAY help...but it may not". Reassuring! And it would more or less be helping with the fatigue. But $663 a month for the next 4 months?? Get the Hell out of here. Screw you, pharmacy. Screw you, insurance. That's more than my bills combined. So I'm going the old fashioned route.

I was told to get a lot of quality rest (which is easy cause we like to snooze), lower my stress, get more protein/less sugar, and take the appropriate vitamins/minerals for the conditions: A, B complex, C, E, Magnesium, Selenium, Zinc, & Co-Enzyme Q10. And the amounts I need...we're not talking a multi-vitamin here! I'm going to beat my immune system into shape! I may still be susceptible to everyone's germies, but my body is going to be prepared for battle!

So I fulfilled my promise to Todd and we can get on with our lives.

And hopefully our lives don't include the flu!! bullets smashing glass in a silent movie.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I'm not dead and I'm not for sale.

You got a hitch in your giddyup? Let's see if I can fix it.

I've added a new link to the "I'm Stalking" section (a lot of my daily fixes have stopped updating which disturbs me...I still have Erin, thank sweet zombie Jesus). Carol High Hair has a new blog about the ups-n-downs of unemployment. I love Carol and every word that comes out of her mouth...or fingers in this case. I hope she eventually starts adding the awesome pictures that have been entertaining the Facebook masses to the blog because they are really hilarious. So add Unemployment Crafts to your reading list/blog/Google reader/watching list/whatthehellever because it will make you a better person all around. It's increased my awesomeness by 3%.

Todd and I started walking last night. Since we've sort of been out of the exercise game, we started out just cruising around the block. But it's a BIG block. We'll lengthen the distance after awhile. Who knows? Maybe we'll start walking to PJs on Thursdays. At least on the walk home we'll burn off the alcohol and french fries. I'm not a huge fan or walking and I detest people who jog or run. But I said I'd do whatever to help him drop a few lbs. and I'm on a mission to get healthier before any buns are in this oven. But next time, we're leaving Shelby at home. That dog is a MANIAC!

I'm anxiously awaiting a call from Jen to tell me she's gone into labor. Tomorrow is her due date and according to her, baby is being "bullheaded" and doesn't want to come out. Who would? Not that I would rather be spending my time in a uterus...but the world can be seriously sucko sometimes. He's got a warm, squisky waterbed to chill in all day. But he's making his mama miserable (I don't suspect that he will have any sibs) and we all want to meet him so he needs to get a move on. He's probably waiting for Halloween. Smart fella.

That's exactly what I'm waiting for!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Cause I ain't the way you found me!

I can't even believe what I just heard! Many, many minutes have passed and my mind is still completely blown. I promised I wouldn't talk about it. I had to SWEAR because sometimes secrets eat me alive. I'm much better keeping happy, cheerful secrets that I am at keeping horrible, hurty, painful secrets. This one is definitely a keeper...and not just because I swore.

But let it be known that if I COULD talk about it, I WOULD talk about it because I have things to SAY because you're my FRIEND, person who burdened me with a secret. BUT I CAN'T. And I WANT TO! Listen YOU...person who told me said secret...BLAH! It's eating me alive from the uterus out. That should amuse you, no doubt!!!!

Love you!

I like to feed the flies that I know!

We went to Halloween Express and Spirit Halloween store this weekend and I got sooooo pumped! I heart Halloweeeeeeeeen, and not just because I got engaged on it. I've always been a Halloween buff. Every room in our house has a skull or skeleton or something creepy in it all year round. We're creepy people. We're grown adults who dress up and I love it. Halloween as a kid was ALWAYS amazing. My mom sure knew (and STILL knows) how to do it up. There were a few years tucked in there where my holiday was ruined But life is good and Halloween will be, too. I so declare!!

But one thing that irks me, and several people I've talked to...why are costumes for kids/tweens/teenagers so sleazy?? Why does a 10 year old even have the OPTION of being a slutty Snow White or slutty school girl? Why can't kids just be KIDS anymore? Some kids I know who I still consider LITTLE are all hung up on brand name clothes and having cell phones (seriously...who are you gonna call?) and being mini-thugs! I know it's outside influence but MAN, if I could go back to being a kid for even a few days, I would. Just to play with Legos and Barbies and eat dinner with my family and watch Blossom or Fraggle Rock and get tucked in. I didn't appreciate it at the time.

If our daughter left the house as a slutty ANYTHING...broken legs.

Green Day is on the radio. Makes me think of Erin. Which is nice.

While on the subject of holidays, I can not WAIT to go to Niagara Falls for New Year's with our pals!!! I like the idea of spending the first few days on the year in another country, even if it's only America's hat! And I got our passport applications today which is really flipping cool. It's something I've never had but always wanted. I also found the perfect dress to wear when 2010 rolls in. Oooh and Todd just got a new suit. How fashionable we'll be...for a change! Jim and I were supposed to get Niagara Falls inspired tattoos during a previously planned trip. I was supposed to get the giant fangs in front of Dracula's Castle on Clifton Hill. I think he was getting a spoon. Why do I think that? Well NOW I'm thinking...first tattoos of 2010! AHAHAHAHAHA! YES!


Sunday, October 25, 2009

Please be my partner!

This weekend was exactly what we wanted it to be. Sure, we didn't skip town but we did have boatloads of fun. There was plenty of alone time (we're having some now watching "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia") and plenty of time with good pals. It recharged my batteries a little. To satisfy your appetite for...whatever this nonsense is that I serve...I'll give you some of my favorite weekend pics (YES, I FINALLY took pics when I said I would. GO ME!).

But first...for those worried about my quality of life...

Friday I went to the doctor for my follow-up. All my previous tests were good which didn't really answer why I'm so sick all the time. So she took more blood (the bruise is still there from LAST week), wrote me some scripts to try and boost my immune system and told me to come back in a month. So that's that. Keep taking my viatmins (Todd started me on a nice regimen, even cuts the big pills in half for me like I'm 4), the Lunesta, and the cocktail she's prescibed. We'll see how things are looking next month. It was frustrating to have no answers. But what can I do?

Oh...then there's this. I'm going to start pre-natal vitamins and folic acid. It's been suggested that I can use all the help I can get to prep this machine for a succubus. It's a little freaky but a little exciting. We're not trying until next year but it doesn't hurt to get a jump start. I'm even using some of Jen's advice to "strengthen the uterus for labor". I want Wonder Woman's uterus. Get the sucker out in one push. But that's a ways off. We've got a road trip/cruise in the works that I'm NOT going to miss because someone is dependant upon me! Man, I'm evil.

So, there you have it and here it comes!
PJ Thursday!!

My fellas...and dates every Thursday!

It was a good night.

Buying Todd his 82nd Anniversary card.

Getting the nest ready for date night.

Yeah. I cooked.

From the shop that made our wedding cupcakes.

He loves me...even when I'm greasy from slaving away all day,


Chill Night!

Husband & Wife.

Shelby Nova!

Mama & the baby wolf.

Saturday lunch date.

Life is good.

Suit shopping for Halloween...and for life.

On our way to Dave & Buster's.

1st Over & Unders of the night.

The man, the myth, the Joe!

My oldest friend, TMFK!
2nd Over & Unders!!!
So creepy. And awesome.


The dropped-jaws were just a coincidence.

Sharon D. & ME!

Funny business.


Awwwww shucks.

Bed time!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

And if you bore me, you'll lose your soul to me.

The smutty list needed to start "The Alphabastards" is done. That quickly. One day. And some of the smuttiest, filthiest words came from the cutest, sweetest people. Makes you wonder what's going on in the brains of some of my pals! They can be some pretty sick tickets...and that's what I love them. So...IT BEGINS!

I love, love, love the fact that after having all kinds of dreams about the circus, Phoebe WENT to the circus last night! And she even sent me a video of the trapeze artist that said, "Was that you??". I didn't get it until this morning but it set the pace for a good day. Which is exactly what I plan on having.

I'm going to (photo)document the entire weekend from the moment I walk in the door tonight. It will make for a fun blog next week. We would've been going bananas with the camera if we were heading to Autumnfest as planned. Our newly formed weekend plans are going to be just as rad so why not go bananas with the camera anyway!? And our Powerhouse Saturdat got revamped. We were supposed to go to Rock Bottom and Howl At The Moon but Sharon is a sicko so we're no longer a foursome. I think us 3 Muskateers might head to Dave-n-Buster's instead. of my happy places! Anyway...tonight starts it all off with our usual Thursday and a special appearance by Carol High Hair?!?!?! Rad.

And while we're talking rad...

Tessa Marie Faith,

I implore you to PLEASE get excited about Halloween. This is YOUR holiday! You're the QUEEN! You've dressed up every year since birth. We even went Trick-Or-Treating together. It broke my heart to hear you say you were just going to wear a dress and Mardi Gras-esque mask. Now it's DEMOLISHING my already tainted heart to hear you say you're ready to throw in the towel and wear JEANS?!?! You've ALWAYS dressed up and it's always been something va-voom!! I know this year isn't going to be exactly like other years and you won't be hopping from bar-to-bar for costume contests but will be upset with yourself if you don't dress up somehow! You were always the fearless person who would be dressed up even if no one else would be. Don't let this be the one Halloween that goes down the tubes! Watch "The Worst Witch" and get creepy already! I say this out of love.

Lacey Marie Angela

So I guess that's all for now. See you Monday...with pictures!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Mother! Father! Look at your little monster!

I know the single coolest, most amazing, hilarious, insanely creative and creatively insane people on this planet or any other. I'd challenge anyone who tries to deny that FACT to a fist fight. And I'd win.

I have a new series of paintings in the work based on each letter of the alphabet and its correspondance to a smutty word! I asked for suggestions as I was looking for things beyond "P is for Penis" and more like "W is for Whisker Biscuit". These people, my friends, are REALLY rallying with the suggestions. Some have been so hilariously vile that I thought I would throw up in my mouth while simultaneously wetting my drawers in hysterics. How will I paint "The Alphabastards" without going bananas? I guess bananas is a good place to go!

I'm in such a wildly good mood. Smile plastered on my face kinda mood. Silly. I guess that's a good way to describe it. I feel goofy! I'm so excited for this weekend and all the fun we've managed to sandwich in (PJ Thursday, Chill Night Friday, Powerhouse Saturday, Touchdown Sunday). It's just the right amount of out and about and kicking it homestyle. I'm also so excited for a friend of ours who is starting a new life. She's fun to be around, always up for a good time, and deserves good things to come her way. And I'm excited for Jen who was 1 centimeter dilated last week and crossing fingers for a big 3 tomorrow! I know she's mierable and would rather have the little dude out and rather than hope for a Halloween birthday. And I'm excted about "The Alphabastards", ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I need to keep focusing on the little things that make life fun. Going and doing and panning and spending and travelling and recovering and being on go-go-go-go all the time isn't all that's awesome and exciting in life. Eating dinner at home with Todd and then watching movies in a nest rocks. Planning to make a baby blanket out of old concert t-shirts for Evan (come on already, buddy!) is fun. A brand new sketch book and fresh pencils is top notch.

Having friends that say "L is for Lady Gravy" is pretty sweet, too.



Yessssss! STILL GOOD!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Such a pretty face but she's not regretful.

Man, I hope someone watched 'How I Met Your Mother' last night.


I look cute today. Is that wrong to say outloud? I don't give a fig. I guess at least I'm being honest. Brutal honesty is my new thang so, besides the hideous purple and green bruise on the top of my hand, I look cute. And I feel cute. The last few days I've felt very much like a non-adorable zombie or some other sort of animated corpse that was going through the scripted motions. Today, I'm back to being me, all awesome and adorable. And God BLESS Lunesta! I don't care if there have been reported cases of people driving and eating and making phone calls with no recollection!

Grrrrrr. It looks like Autumnfest might be scratched from our weekend which makes me feel like... OK, sorry for the interruption. After reporting to Todd that Autumnfest doesn't looks like it's in the cards (sniff), he first said he'd scratch up the rest of the money. When i told him that wasn't necessary, he said we need to come up with somewhere else to go on the cheap (he's feeding my need for a road trip). And after I said that was really unnecessary, he said he wants "an alone romantic weekend". So we're both digging through our brains and resources to put a rad weekend together...together. I'm not so "grrrrrrr" about missing out on Autumnfest anymore. There's a solid Skunk-n-Weasel weekend in the works...and actually, the plan is SET! From the time he gets off work on Friday until we go to bed Sunday, planned-n-awesome. PUMPED!

Phoebe had another circus sideshow dream! This time I wasn't alone with an elephant. Todd was the ringmaster and I was still doing all my trapeze business. I like that even in other people's dreams, we're together, being awesome. But what IS going on in Bizzle's brain??? I told her to pretend the trapeze artist is shacking up with the ringmaster while she's at the actual circus this week. She's smart enough to assume they aren't as cool as Todd and I would be if it were OUR circus. Maybe these dreams are trying to tell her that we're all unhappy with the working wolrd and need to start a circus! How RAD! How unfathomably RAD!

Begin random blather...NOW!

I pulled all my acrylic wedding nails off. They're not for me. I am craaaaaaazy good with chopsticks and wish I had some Japanese non-sushi food right now. Karen is ready to start Pussyfootin' again. I hope Sarah is seriously interested. Carol and I had a funny convo about Tequila. I compared my relationship with it to Romeo & Juliet. I wish it was Thursday already. The weekend is so chock full of awesomeness that I'm antsy. Todd just reminded me that I love Nancy Grace. She's a bitch but she is ALWAYS prepared.

'Nuff said.

Monday, October 19, 2009

I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert.

It's hard to tell the truth sometimes. To just open yourself up and spill your guts on the pavement, no matter who you're spilling them to. It makes you hurt in places you didn't know could hurt. But it hurts worse to hold things inside and bury them deeply. I assume there are deeply buried tumors filled with nothign but hurt. Life is hard. I miss when life was easy and all you had to worry about was if your mommy put a treat in your lunch bag and hoping you could stay up all night at the slumber party. She always did and I always could so life was good. Simple. I could go for a big scoop of that right about now. Luckily, Phoebe helped make a long list of things that are awesome (in my humble opinion) so that is helping me with my upside down frown.

SPEAKING of "Upside Down Frown"...

They Might Be Giants blew my mind right outta my head! Yes, they played the ENTIRE "Flood" album, as promised, but they also played 'James K. Polk', 'Shoehorn With Teeth', 'Here Come The Elements', 'The Sun Is A Mass...', 'The Sun Is a Miasma', 'Shooting Star', 'We're The Mesopotamians'...and I'm SURE I'm forgetting a few others but weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I loved every minute of it. I loved having Todd's fingers in my belt loops. I loved seeing my sister have such a great time. I loved buying a t-shirt. I loved it all. I think it was the 10th time I've seen them and it was by far the best. And I'm not just saying that because there were sock puppets wearing coffee cups for hats! Happy 20th Anniversary, They!

And Happy 1 Month Anniversary to us. I got theeeeee most beautiful flowers for Sweetest Day (I don't care if it's a made up holiday...Todd could have said they were for "Non-Aplicator Tampon Day" and I could have loved them all the same). They are enormous lillies and they were this orangey-red-alienesque color. It was a nice surprise. I want to wear one in my hair. Maybe I will on the way to Autumnfest.

Before we hit the road on Friday, I have to pop by the doc and get my test results. So I had my physical, which wasn't very physical at all. It was basically just a buncha bleeding. I gave my mile long list of illnesses with a star next to what I've had this year alone. She's running a whole kajigger of tests to pinpoint the problem...didn't take enough blood from my arm to get the info she needed so we had to resort to the hand. Stupid tattoos and their vein-hiding properties! She gave me a boatload of samples for Lunesta which has been working GREAT so far but I thought it was odd she's give it to me since I told her I both have athsma and will be trying to get pregnant. Whatever. If baby has three arms, it'll be more useful! So my shotty immune system was discussed, my sleeping issues are temporarily covered, and on Friday, we'll hopefully be on track for any future baby-making. And the pneumonia vaccine? Check! And ouch! So there you have it. Friday we'll know why my body hates me.

I guess that's it. I covered my weird mood, the show, the doctor, getting flowers. Throw in "Ugly Betty season 3" and chicken paprikash and I think we're got everything covered...for now.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Don't let the fire rush to your head!

Songs by The Alan Parsons Project make me uncomfortable and creeped out for an unexplainable reason. I can't listen to them when I'm alone. Or at night. Or when lost in the car. Or if it's raining. Or I've got my period. Or when I'm angry, sad, or on the verge of angry or sad tears.


NOTE TO SELF: No time is a good time for Alan Parsons Project.

Phoebe had a dream last night that I was a circus performer. I was a trapeze artist and did some sort of flip landing on an elephant's head in a "TA-DA" sort of way. That's exactly how it was described to me. TA-DA! What I was wearing wasn't described to me but I have to believe it was a sickening explosion of glitter and sequins topped off by a head full of feather and face full of lashes. She said I seemed right at home in the dream. I imagine I would be. Circus Performer would be a dream job. Running off to Coney Island isn't an option.

But PFG is! And there are 2 gals interested. Time to rally.

So some unexpected radness developed today and we're pumped as we usually are abotu all things rad. Jim is gathering up a bunch of the coolest couples in town to go to Niagara Falls for New Year's Eve. Anyone who knows me knows I love it there. And anyone who knows me knows the last time I went there was...odd. When I presented the opportunity to Todd, we were IN! We need to wrangle up some passports but we needed those anyway since we plan to travel the world (I just learned about this on the honeymoon but I'm SO up for it). Ringing in 2010 at The Falls with my pals...while possibly wearing a bright blue wig...sounds ideal. And rad!

The NEW Countdown That Is My Life!
1 day until They Might Be Giants!
8 days until our Autumnfest weekender!
13 days until Jen's spawn is due!
16 days until Halloween!
23 days until Todd's birthday!
36 days until "New Moon" opens!
55 days until Los Straitjackes!
71 days until the 1st X-Mas I've ever been excited about!
77 days until NYE in Niagara Falls!
115 days until my 31st birthday!
165 days until our 2 year (dating) anniversary!
179 days until Key West & Cozumel!
229 days until Heavy Rebel!

We'll be back after these words from out sponsor.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Until I get it I can't breathe.

So I made a deal with Todd that as soon as the wedding was over I would make an appointment with an ACTUAL doctor (one that I could go to every time I am we should be great friends in the next few months, blech) to get all of my health issues under control. 30 years of constantly being sick has taken it's toll on me and those around me and my husband doesn't want me to die at an early age. He already knows that unlike some women who want their widowed husbands to move on and date again, I want him to mourn my zombie bones for eternity. My aunt recommended a doc, I kept my word and I have a date with her on Thursday to:

-discuss my lifetime of illness (Pneumonia 5 or 6 times, once resulting in broken ribs...and that's just the tip of the iceberg) and see if I have some sort of compromised immune system. There has to be some sort of drug therapy that can stop me from catching what everyone else has. There HAS to be.

-see what can be done about my neverending sleeplessness because I'm becoming immune to the over-the-counter remedies and I don't believe in any of the hippie-ish methods like deep breathing and herbs. The less sleep I get, the more likely I am to rip your heart out with my hands.

-start preparing this body for the 40 week task of growing a little monster inside. Some time next year, we want to cook up a lil' skunk or weasel and I want to be in tip-top condition before that happens or I'll never bounce back! I know how slowly I recover and there's no time to recover when another person depends on you to, well, exist.

So it's on. Hopefully there's nothing fishy going on.

What else is on the menu?

Halloween! My costume is going to be both comfortable and rad and I'm going bananas with anticipation! We got engaged on Halloween (I still count it as Halloween even if it was after midnight) so it's pretty cool that 1 year later, we're hitched! We're going to my parents' annual Trick-or-Treat par-tay and then hanging with The Shoe-Lanes. I'm not sure what we'll be up to but whatever it is...I will be in costume! I've decided that sexy costumes are out, and comfort is KEY! In addition to my costume's awesomness, I can bowl in it, watch a movie in it, go to a bar in it, whatever I want! And I'll be just ADORABLE!!! Sorry...I'm just really pumped for the holidays this year! Who knew?

I had recently been commenting on how a lot of my pals were down-n-out and bummed and blue and I how I was useless as far as helping them out of their slumps. Well, I've recently realized that a lot of my friends are totally bananas in LOVE these days! So hooray for those guys! Especially Erin and Josh...I'm totally their "get married NOW" cheerleader. I know 3 separate couples that are getting married around Halloween next year and Lord KNOWS at least 2 of those events are going to be a rockin' good time!!! I love me a wedding!

Next up: deciding if I want to start nursing school in the spring!

I'm in a good mood. Good things are ahead!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Won't you please fawn over me?


And now that THAT is out of my system...

The beginning portion of the weekend was icky. Icky for Todd, me, my bestie, and all the people I had to cancel the Friday hangout on. Yeah, the first part of the weekend someone had tossed their cookies...because someone had. But things shaped up and yesterday was a totally blissful day. I made veggie soup and Halloween cupcakes, we played board games and watched football (and How I Met Your show on TV), and we just kicked it married-life style. The only thing that was missing from my domestic awesomeness was an adorable apron!

OOH! The subject of putting a bun in the oven came up! Out of nowhere! And it wasn't brought up my me! It was a little surprising but also kind of fun to talk about. It was more or less a "when do you wanna try" kind of discussion that centered around not wanting X-Mas offspring because they get screwed out of rad birthdays. Who can compete with the birth of Jesus...or whatever...? Regardless...I know that when a little skunk or weasel comes into the picture some of my friends will disappear. That's disappointing but it's also lame. Love us, love our evil spawn, that's what I say!!!

"Zombieland" was amazing in a sense that is was gross, hilarious, and cool all wrapped into one. Seeing it with Tessa was a major perk. That girl knows me, and I like it! I also like when I order a beer and there are fresh blueberries floating in it. Neat!! But while the movie, the food/bevvies, and Tessa were all awesome...the fact that Sno-Caps have not been sold at the last 2 movie theaters I've been to is a bummer. Who do you think you are Cinemark and Regal Cinemas?? I cleaned out what Giant Eagle had in stock in order to prepare myself for our next movie adventure. So if you haven't seen "Zombieland", go see it. Twice. And bring your own Sno-Caps.

Also on the topic of zombies...

I wish I could have gone to Monroeville Mall yesterday to celebrate World Zombie Day as I dub myself a zombie a lot of the time. It's the largest gathering of zombies in the world and "Dawn Of The Dead" was shot there. My friend Alex (from Cult Of The Psychic Fetus who were performing yesterday) even took a shot of a sign at the mall stating that fact. Sigh. I wasn't the only one who missed out so I don't feel too sore about it. Next year I will make up for everything I missed this year...Heavy Rebel, Road Rash Bash, World Zombie Day. Hooray for 2010!

And with that, I say...Stinson OUT!

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Life has new meaning to me.

I haven't blogged about anything but wedding nonsense for so long! For anyone following along, I posted the final sections, Reception & Honeymoon, but my favorite pictures will be added to them tomorrow, so check back! If you care, that is. If not, go kick rocks, suckah! that I'm all hitched (20 days and counting, y'all), I can get back to talking shit and wrecking things, which I'm sure is how you prefer me. Moving right along, footloose and fancy free!

If you want to be in a REALLY good mood and start your day off right...or if you have kids that you want to listen to quality music and NOT have "Stanky Leg" as a favorite song like some kids I know (kids too young to be listening to that trash)...then listen to "Triops Has Three Eyes" by They Might Be Giants! It made me so happy on the ride home last night that I listened to it before I went to bed and again on the ride to work. "Here Come The 1 2 3s" might not be the best out of the 4 They Might Be Giants childrens albums, but that song is so happy...without being annoying...and oddly soothing, but not sleepy. Give it a try. If it works, you can thank me. If it doesn't, I'll give you a nickle (which really helps me because I have an irrational hatred of nickles).

Todd and I are going to Autumnfest in PA soon. I'm really pumped because autumn is my favorite season and I love all that goes along with it: hoodies, pumpkins (and pumpkin related foods like pie and roll), cider, leaves, fires, Halloween...all that jazz. And all that jazz will be going down at Autumnfest. Tons of food, beer, stuff to see and do, musicians, Circus performers, pure awesomeness. And we've been to this spot in PA before. Some of my favorite pics of us are from this spot. Todd's super psyched. I love when we're both into doing something. Makes it more rad. Plus I've been dying to go on a lengthy car ride...especially since my new I-pod is STOCKED! 3 hours rockin' out in the car with my husband. F-U-N!!!

Speaking of fun, I think the weekend will be pretty solid. It's Thursday so of course we'll be where we always are. I love Thursdays. I love knowing we'll at least get out of the house 1 day a week. Not that I don't love our house. It's rad. Moving on. Friday I get to catch up on all the shows I taped this week and then we're having some pals over to just chiiiiiill and get CHILLY! Our margarita machine makes thee most intense and amazing frozen drinks! Saturday we get to be lazy which is nice. Then we'll truck on out to Jen's Halloween party...unless the baby comes first! I'm ready for that baby!!! Then's typically a lazy day. Football if it's on. We finally got a rad grill so maybe we'll do a little grilling. Just take it easy before the work week punches us in the eyesockets. I'm psyched about this weekend. I'm psyched about a lot of things.

Like my next project: turning the basement back into a chill spot!

I feel like I've been talking forever. Oh well. You know what? I'm worried about some of my friends. Several of them seem to be going through tough times right now. And varying levels and degress of "tough". And I can't help any of them. I hate that. I hope things get straightened our with their relationships, employment, whatever it is. I hate to see my pals not acting like themselves and not being treated the way they deserve to be. And now I'm done being it wrong that 2 things that have recently happened to the person I hate most in the world really made me chuckle?? Believe me, if you knew this sorry excuse for a human being (and some of you readers do!), you'd chuckle to! Won't you join me??


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Will the planes ever collide?



I woke up early and showered. I didn't feel so hot. It wasn't a hangover by any means. It was a combination of adrenaline still pumping and a rush of concern over the fact that I FORGOT WE NEEDED OUR BIRTH CERTIFICATES TO GET ON THE SHIP!!! I was not going to be able to relax until we had them in hand. I was in a panic! How could I plan everything so perfectly and forget birth certificates?? My new in-laws picked us up downtown and drove us home where we dropped off old luggage and gifts and picked up new luggage...and birth ceritifcates!!!! WHEW! Said goodbye to the pets, reloaded the car and were off!

I love, love, love airports. I love knowing I'm going somewhere else. I love buying trashy magazines and snacks. And we got there at a perfect time! We breezed through check-in, security, bought US, People and some Flips, got on the plane, fell asleep on the plane, and woke up in Ft. Lauderdale. Getting on the boat was just as smooth!!! But the rest is a blur! We got in our cabin (rad), napped, went to a meeting about what to do if we're sinking, went back to our cabin (still rad) and slept the night away! We didn't even go to dinner!!

The next morning we woke up refreshed and in Key West! We had breakfast and got off the ship! Went to the Southern Most Point of the U.S., toured Hemmingway's house, saw the lighthouse, saw the oldest house in Key West, saw the tattoo parlor (ha!), and hit many bars, including the pirate bar where we had lunch. We napped before dinner and then chowed down! Basically, you can assume that any day we got OFF the boat, we got back on, napped, went to dinner, chowed down, had a drink, and went to bed. We never made it past 9:30pm!!!! Days when we STAYED on the ship, you an assume there was plenty more drinking, gambling, swimming, hot tubbing and fun.

It was raining when we got to Grand Cayman. We still walked around but we cancelled our beach excursion. Eventually we were fed up and returned to the boat. Screw you, Grand Cayman! But we made up for it on the boat. SO many daquiris. My brain is still frozen. I said I was going to wear bikinis and drink umbrella drinks and I DID!! We fared better in Jamaica. We went to Dolphin Cove and swam with 8 foot Nurse sharks and sting rays. Todd thought they felt like slippery pancakes. So cute! We sampled Jamaican rum, walked the trails and saw colorful birds and HUGE spiders, took pictures of dolphins and iguanas and we were off to Dunn's River Falls. We climbed the waterfall...took about an hour. It WAS beautiful but the climb was not my thing. Todd liked it so it wasn't a waste. It was something we can say we did. We climbed a famous waterfall top to bottom!!

Maybe it doesn't sounds like we did a lot but we DID! That's why we had to nap AND go to bed early every day. We were exhausted! But rest assured, my $300 in Victoria's Secret swag did not go to waste! Enough smut. The last day WAS kind of fun eventhough it was sad. We got a bucket of beers, a daquiri and a Mai Tai and brought them back to our room while I packed. We had a good time at a dinner with our table pals. We swam one last time. We hot tubbed one last time. We got our money's worth and I would definitely saw it was exactly what a honeymoon should be! And it continued when we got home! As I previously blogged, we slept in, there were tattoos, friends came over, we went to Sushi Rock with T&C, a new kitchen floor was put in...there was a lot of fun once we came back to Cleveland. And our 1st PJ Thursday as married people? HA HA HA HA! AWESOME! I can't even tak about it. Too ridiculous.

So you've heard it all. We got married and we honeymooned! Now we're knee-deep into our life together. Sure, it doesn't really feel different. From the 1st day he came over, he never left. We've spent minimal time apart during our entire relationship. So it felt like we were already married...that's what Rocko kept saying, too. But it has been fun to throw around "wife" and "husband" and be called "Mrs. Gansert". I felt a little down early this I was crashed. Jen said it was probably postwedding depression...much like the postpartum depression she's been studying up on. She said I need to think positive thoughts like "now we can make babies!!!!" but quickly retracted and said I probably need something less stressful right now like "I'm a wife and can do wife things like make cupcakes in a cute apron!!!". After a rest, I'd like to both. Possibly simulatenously! Thanks for reading. You're officially free! The wedding/honeymoon are done. TIME TO START LIVIN'!



The beat's really hot!

9/19/09 CONTINUED!


We got to the reception and my mind was blown. Everything looked great. It was certainly full but not as body-to-body as I thought it would be with 218 guests. We mingled and drank our signature drink, The Bubble YUM, and just tried to de-stress a little. That didn't last long due to some sitches with our caterer but you know what? I can't dwell on that now. I will later in a strongly worded letter! The photobooth was a HIT! And I've got like 180 strip pictures to prove it! You can tell which people loved it because they were in and out all night and you can see their steady decline into mega-party-mode! Even my Hello Kitty bride got in the photobooth!!!!

The bridal party was announced by the one and only Tommy Bones and we made our big entrace as Mr & Mrs to The Munsters theme song. From what I hear, the food blew minds! I sort of picked at it here and there. A lot is expected out of the bride and groom at a reception so I still had nerves. Once we finished, we walked table to table and thanked everyone for coming. That part was actually pretty fun. We posed for pictures and heard everyone tell us how the food rocked, everything looked rad and that it was a beautiful ceremony. Thumbs up! And whateverone told me was only see everyone for about 1 minute each. But they were good minutes!

Things got a late start and our table-to-table business was taking longer than we planned so we skipped over our 1st dance and our Father/Daughter dance. There was some friction between Mr & Mrs but that's because we were stressed! The lady paid to set the pace and solve the problems was MIA so it was up to us. Not exactly what we wanted to do. We calmed ourselves down, got our smooch on, and got back in the swing. 1st I tossed the bouquet...far more ladies came up for that than I "She-Devil" by Cult Of The Psychic Fetus. My nephew's girlfriend, Roni, caught it! I'm still laughing!! Then we used our switchblade ot cut the (cup)cake. No smashing in faces. That was grounds for divorce. We did feed it to each other though. Cute. Traditional. I heard plenty of other people smashed cupcakes in faces. And the cupcakes themselves? HIT! They went like hotcakes!!

After that, it was dance time. And I was worried abotu peopole not dancing for no reason. They danced! And my friends Lisa and Brian danced the HELL out of "Beat It". Amazing. I am so glad we picked our own music because I was pumped about every jam I heard!!! Todd and I got in a few slow dances but he used the time I was boogie-ing to catch up with his pals, especially Brian who flew in from Hawaii. I had a blast. It just went by so quickly. The next thing I knew, "$100 Hangover" was playing...while I was dancing with Sugar...and people started filing out. It was a success. It was beyond anything I could have imagined or hoped for.

We got back to the hotel and realized we didn't have our key! So there we wiated in the hallway in our dress and tux wit a cart full of presents and cards. A drunk Ohio State fan wobbled by and told me I looked hot. I think it made Todd proud! Once we got in, the adrenaline was flowing so we opened our loot. While we loved everything we got, we laughed the most at 6 pint glasses from John Jackson that read Fucker, Douchebag, Bitch, Pimp, Ho and Hot Mess! We've used them several times already. Once all was said and done, it was lights out some time around 2:30am. After all, we had a 9:00am plane!!



Sunday, October 04, 2009

Wake up to your face against the mornign sun.

9/19/09 CONTINUED!


Not too much to say about this part of the day. The party bus dropped us off at the location of our wedding shower. Such a RAD place, and also a photo studio. My parents had been there earlier and stocked the joint with sandwiches, chips, cookies, fruit, soda, milk, etc. It was so nice of them because we were all hungry and one person was eating for two! We took some time to kick off our shoes, talk, relax, pop a few bottles, crack open some beers. I finally got a chance to just fall into Todd's arms and "have a moment". It felt so good to hear him call me "wife" and get our smooch on.

Once break time was over, husband, wife, best man and MOH went on the roof and acted a fool for the camera. Then we came back down and girls went one way, boys the other. Then we all got together. The pictures really are amazing. They're tottally photo journalistic...caught us doing things we'd normally do and making faces we'd normally make. I love them. He loves them. Everyone who has seen them loves them. After shots were shot, we spent more time goofing off and chilling.

Then back on the bus and off to the parrrrrrtay!

Here are my favorite pics from the "photoshoot"!

Bride & Groom on the roof

Bride & Groom...still on the roof

Thumb we got our 1st date


How we roll

Sneak attack!

Best friends

Carol High Hair & Weasel

Smooch after Mohawk grooming



Share a toothbrush. You're my kinda man.

9/19/09 CONTINUED!


Finally I was called out to stand by the girls and my dad. They brought Todd out and the fellas started their walk. Then one by one, my calming agents...disappeared down the aisle. Then it was Aiden and Molly's turn...she took the cake, man. Adorable. I'd post pics but I don't want to exploit the underaged. Next thing I knew, the music changed, everybody stood, and off we went. I tried to smile and not look phony. I tried not to walk too fast. I tried to focus on Todd. He looked like he was going to throw up. It was not a calming face I was walking to. He later told me...and it was confirmed by the best man...that he felt like he was going to cry. And that it wouldn't be able to be stopped. So he bottled it up. I started to cry before my dad and I walked down. I, too, bottled it up. I finally pinned it down. It wasn't really that I was NERVOUS. It's that I was see Todd.

The rest of the ceremony went nice and smooth. We had such tight grips on each other. We didn't fumble over vows, we didn't drop rings, we didn't freak out or pass out. We were calm-ish. The song Rocko wrote and performed for us blew minds. I was told by many that it was at that point that they cried. Rocko is rad and everyone should be so lucky as know him, let alone have him write and perform a special song at their wedding. The next thing I knew, we were pronounced man and wife, sealed it with a kiss, and were walking down the aisle as Mr and Mrs! And for the record, Jen was the 1st person to call me Mrs. Gasnert after it was actually so.

We didn't have much time to bask in the awesomeness of being married after such a 322 day countdown because we had minimal time to take photos with the kids in the church. It was a kid-free reception so that was the time. We hammered out those necessary shots (which I'm not going to post...don't want to post pics of the kid for their own privacy...same with our families...same with a lot of the beautiful, fun, quirky posed shots...I need to keep somethings to ourselves) and then ran outside to a waiting bunch of hooligans! They clapped and cheered and it felt pretty awesome. Phoebe said that you could see the genuine love and happiness on our faces. I agree.

We boarded the party bus, I copped a seat on my husband's lap and we were on our way to unwide and mug for the camera. It felt so good to just sit for a just BE with Todd. To be his wife! It was exactly how I had pictured the wedding in my mind. I'm glad we went the traditional route. Traditions like that have lasted through time for a reason. Or something like that. I don't know. Phoebe said it. We could have gotten married in our pajamas in the living room with the dog and cat for all I cared. But to do what we did and say what we said in front of all the people we was really rad.

Here are my favorite pics from the ceremony!


Old Stone Church

Mr. and Mrs.

Best Dressed bridesmaid & best friend


I can't explain so I won't even try to.

9/19/09 CONTINUED!!!

The Morning Of...

I woke up around 6:00am and knew that there wasn't going to be anymore sleep. I tried texting Todd but he COULD sleep. Lucky devil. So I showered. A long, drawn out, "washing the nerves down the drain" kind of shower. Room service that we ordered the night before came. Becky and Tim rolled their room service over and we popped a bottle. Yep, we kept champagne iced in a garbage can. Classy! I had a Mimosa and some oatmeal and once we gathered up Carol, we hit the road.

The flowers for the centerpieces (and my hair) were supposed to be HOT pink and were light pink. Not a big deal outside of the fact that I didn't want light pink flowers in my hair. A detour to a Giant Eagle found ONE BUNCH of hot pink Gerber daisies! So we high-tailed it to the best hairstylist on the planet (she did my 'do for FREEEE) and got pampered. For a very short time, my nerves were GONE but still no word from the groom. I was worried about having a Sex and The City: The Movie moment. Finally at 9:02am the cell blows up. "HAPPY WEDDING DAY! 00000000 days!". Whew! The countdown was over and all was good! And the weather was PERFECT!!! Blue sky, warm weather, beautiful.

And our hair looked rad! Better than I could have expected. Now, the stupid Ohio State game was making traffic a nightmare. I started to panic. I felt physically ill. We rolled up to the hotel where the best Maid Of Honor in the world had everything we needed already in the lobby. Now we just had to wait for the party bus which was also a victim of the Ohio State traffic. That's when the nerves went into full affect!!! When we got on the bus it was bad but when we got to the church it was worse. Plus, I wasn't nervous about marrying Todd so it was a feeling I couldn't place. I was just being a typical bride.

We ran into the Old Stone Church and the rest of my bridal party, my mom, Todd's mom, tons of ladies were all waiting in my bride's room. That made me even MORE bananas. All eyes on me! And like THAT I had my one and only Bridezilla moment. My bouquet was supposed to have lilies...that was the one thing that set it apart from the rest...and they looked like...I don't even know what!!! HIDEOUS!!! I started ripping them out! Becky offered to use that as her bouquet (it still looked like the rest just a little more...spacious and green). My aunt calmed me a little and then my mom helped me get in my dress.

And then I waited. And waited. And waited.

And then they took my ladies away and I waited. Alone.

And then it was time.

Here are my favorite pre-ceremony pics!

After hair-n-make up

Jenny Penny in her perty curlers

Hot, hot, hot bridesmaids

The groom & best man

With my mom's wedding hanky