Monday, June 30, 2008

Don't go quietly.

I'm getting a skunk stripe! In my HAIR! A beautiful, frosty white skunk stripe just like the one Diane Freeling ended up with in Poltergeist after she and Carol Ann fell from the sky covered in Jell-O! I remember her asking Dana if she liked it and wasn't it punk rock...oh Poltergeist. What a piece of Cinematic GENIUS you are! SKUNK STRIPE! It probably won't be as white as I want it by Heavy Rebel (3 days!!! I think my uterus just fell out due to how PUMPED I AM) but it will be on it's way! Oh so frosty! Oh so skunky. And I'm not the only one who's super psyched about the Skunk Stripe. I have a text message in my phone that saus, "Yeah. Do it. Then I'll marry you". He would have married me any way but a fiancee/wife with a hot SKUNK STRIPE!?!?! Hot-diggity-dog!

Anal sex. Discuss.

Tomorrow is the first day of July which is always a vag-quaking month for me so I'm super amped! SUPER PSYCHED! Not only does July bring Heavy Rebel (3 days!!!) and the Dragway 42 Rock-n-Race featuring the Pussyfoot Girls (HOLY COW!), as well as other summer events (Ford Night at Summit), but I always get chomped on by the art bug!!! I've got paint on my hands and I'm LOVING IT! I want paint on my FACE! I have 2 paintings in the works for Potsie Shark Pants, 1 for Tommy Bones, 1 painting, a drawing, and a custom Munny in the works for some dude named Todd (heart-go-throb), and I'm getting ready to get-knitty-with-it so you guys are all styling in scarves for the winter!! addition to summer fun and art projects... we have babies due in July!! Jessica is going to pop out little (or BIG as it seems from photos) Izzy at the end of the month and Baby May is going to make an appearance any day now!! I love July. I want to MAKE LOVE to July.

I'm sort of over talking about my weekends. They tend to be such rollercoasters any more. I'll just weed through any weirdness (and the weirdness didn't last long...ended with some really kick-ass snuggle time) and tell you that fun was had. We went to Summit Mototsports Park on Saturday for the NHRA finals which was fun, despite having my chest vibrate and my ears explode. Todd took some pretty adorable shots of us. So adorable that I guarantee you'd throw up in your lap. Sunday we kidnapped some kids and took them to the park, got pizza, listened to them say and do ridiculous things. Kids are funny. They put on fake tattoos so little girls will chase them. I probably would have if I were 7. Regardless...the weekend is over and everyone made it out alive. And now there are 3 days until Heavy Rebel. THREE!


Thursday, June 26, 2008

Gotta be a better way to punch my ticket.

I'm fighting a pretty gnarly headache right now. It feels like my brain is trying to force it's way out through two points at the top of my skull. Or out my eye sockets, which would be terrifying! Either way, something is going on inside my mellon that is akin to a very loud Motorhead concert inside a closet with no earplugs...or mediocre earplugs. I'm unfocused and unhappy, uncooperative and unproductive.

I've been incredibly stressed recently and it's creating chaos and havoc all up and down this body. That's probably WHY my brain is trying to escape. It probably wants to find a nice, comfy, stress-free body to chillax in. Last week, Todd and I thought I might have had a bun in the oven. Or a robotic wolf. Either way, we thought sperm met egg and something was cookin'. And I sort of FELT pregnant. I was showcasing all of the signs except the positive pee stick.

You can all chillax and pick your jaws up off the floor. Nothing is currently growing up in there. My body chose to bleed, not breed. It's the BEST THING for right now. We plan on being a little family one day but there are other steps we've gotta take first. Like growing up! I don't think just because you get knocked up you automatically become a mother. I'm not done being a Pussyfoot Girl and drinking beer and rocking out. Not just yet! And we want to get married (Hell...the whole wedding is planned down to what he's wearing and how I'm doing my hair). And we just started talking about the whole "moving in" thing. So mutant babies can wait. There's plenty of time.

Now I just have to get rid of this stooooooopid skull-crusher I have going on. The only thing that really helped me at all today was steel-banding an abraidable mold to ship to Canada. I just learned how to do it and something about how sweaty I was and all the gadgets I got to use and the satisfaction in the security of this pricey piece of...whatever it is...I felt when I was done sort of erased the pain momentarily. But I can't sit and steel band stuff all the live-long day! I'd be like one of those art fags that glues everything in sight! Don't let me be an industrial art fag...I beg of you.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

For your lovin'. REAL LOVIN'.

I can smell the rain. Which is better than smelling earings, which I can ALSO smell right now. The rain smells good and cool and refreshing. My earring smell like the rotting corpse of a dead whole, stuffed in the springs of the bed. Since I can do anything about the scent od decay until I get home an disinfect these things, I'm inhaling as deeply as I can because the smell of rain makes me happy, especially warm rain. And I am STILL in a good needs to be maintained. Breathe in...breathe out. Maybe I'm all in love with the rain because a few weeks back, Todd and I returned from a show and we were both drunk and aggitated. So he suggested we go and sit in the rain. He sat in a lawn chair, I sat on his lap...we weren't aggitated after that. OR CLOTHED! Ka-pow! Rain is good stuff. Thumbs up.

Remind me to tell you the story of Nurse Lacey Cakes some day!

So this girl and this guy are exchanging text messages because that's what people do now a-days. She gets a picture message of a Taco Bell sauce packet that says, "Will You Marry Me?" on it. She reposnds cleverly with, "Ha ha. Duh". He takes that as a YES, as he should, and says, "OK. Good". She asks, as most girls would after being "proposed to" via text message, "Where's my ring?". Greedy scumbag! He informs her it's still at the pawn shop, which she says is romantic and tells him that someone they know has a ring that came from the pawn shop. "It's the thought that counts" is what the girl says, and it's true. The guy says...and the spelling may be altered or words changed..., "I'm gonna do you up right", followed by, "I mean shit (the word "shit" WAS actually included) I could possibly give you anything less that the best. You deserve MORE than the best". She says she doesn't need a ring, she just needs him for life. But she's getting a ring after he moves in, or so he says. They don't know when that will be...but the following day he informed her that he knows they were made for each other. She needed to hear that. They're going to be together forver. I'd bet everything I have on it.

I totally love that story!

That rain I was loving on a few minutes has officially made me exhausted. I need to put on pajamas and curl up, Skunk-n-Weasel style. I know there's a lot that I SHOULD be doing but what I FEEL like doing is being a bum. I want to change these God AWFUL, horrifically stanky, rotten earings, marinated in the tub for a minute or two, spray myself with something fruity, and veg out on the couch. I love my couch. It's possessed. If you think something is up with your life life or you're in some sort of sexual rut...which I am NOT, but still...come sit on my couch for awhile! With a man/woman, of course. I don't need you having a Battle Royale with your nether regions on my couch. Bachtracking...spending time with the man/woman you're hot for on my couch is basically like signing yourself up for bad behavior. You could be hating on one another but if you're on my couch...clothes FLY! Try it out. Experiment. Prove me wrong. Love that couch!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

You knew you'd have yourself a ball!

Sweet Zombie Jesus, I'm in a amazingly good mooooooooood! I feel like I just ate a whole bag of Swedish Fish and than ran around in circles, that's how good of a mood I'm in. My current state of "awesomeness" started yesterday morning and just sort of evolved into this legendary k-rad mood. I feel like a million bucks...that just ate a whole bag of Swedish Fish and ran around in circles! Now mind you, I did neither of those things. But still, I feel boss. I'm all smiley and upbeat. People probably think I'm high as a kite. I'm not. I'm just pumped. I'm trying to harness this feeling because life has sucked like poison fish heads recently. I'll take pumped over poisoned any day of the week. I am going to be so hot with smile lines. And as a side note...I really like how my clothes are fitting today. I feel tall and fit and awesome. ROCK!

I cooked the fella some grub and then we hopped in the Mustang...which I look terribly awkward doing and I pretty much just fall into it...and went to Ford Night at Quaker Stake. We didn't even get out of the mobile, the cruise-in was so lame. But we had lots of laughs on the way. Since I am pretty much 8 years old inside, I am obsessed with buttons and dials and levers and that car is full of gadgets! Untouchable gadgets! They taunt me endlessly. BUT NO MORE! Because Todd designated me my own button!!!! "Lacey's Annihilation Button". It's green. At first when I fired it, it would give cancer to people who were going slow or getting in the way of the Mustang or people/businesses I just felt like destroying. But in thinking about it, giving cancer to people is not nice. So instead, my button will give them appendicitis, because THAT is horrific. You feel like you're going to throw up, sweat to death, and poo like mad all at once. And that's what my button does. So eventhough the car show was the pits, cruisin' around and giving people appendicitis with Todd was mad fun. We laughed and smiled a lot. And he said the button will help us in our battle against the world. That woke up the robotic wolves.

We polished off some beer and watched a movie. His hand on my leg and the smooching and the quick glances at each other were TOTALLY riling up the wolves. They were getting their feed on! It was like a first date but we were already totally in sync with each other. And at bed time, everything just felt RIGHT!! We can totally be ourselves with each other. I can even hop around the room using my blanket as a cape! And he laughs about it! He called me his Wonder Woman! He doesn't think I'm embarrassing or retarded! And yesterday, he was upstairs fiddling on the internet and I was downstairs chilling with Family Guy...and he said that he was falling even harder for me or falling for me all over again (or something like that) just listening to me laugh down there by myself. Little things like that...I'm so lucky. And HAPPY!!!!

I'm sorry. I hate being the girl who gets all gushy over her relationship like that's all my life revolves around. It's not. But it's really important to me and has been really important to me from the get-go. I'm protective of it. And of my heart. And if you refer back to how my former mood was much like poisoned fish heads...and some of you know what's been going on, to an'll allow me these few minutes of gushing. As long as I'm not gushing in my panites on your brand new silk covered chairs, right? I mean...that can only possibly happen ONCE. And I just got a text that says, "I love my silly gal". How cool is that? It's very cool. It's SUPER SWEET!

Just like a ninja.

Monday, June 23, 2008

I love you forever...til' death do us part.

I still can't stop listening to "Breakaway" by Detroit Cobras. And I HATE Detroit Cobras so it's getting a little un-nerving. Yet so damn catchy! And the lyrics seem so fitting in regards to certain relationships I've had in the past. I sing it really, really loud in my car, too. People have to think I'm either berzerk or just having a really, really good time. Usually when I sing along to songs...since I can NOT sing, unless you want your ears to bleed in agony...I think of what instrument I would be playing in the band if I was in the band. Usually it's guitar. With "Breakaway"...and "Lights Out" by Angry's always drums. Todd said I can beat on his drums so I'm pretty psyched. Then I can officially be well-rounded.

I just wrote two paragraphs about the weekend but they were neither interesting nor creative and God KNOWS it wouldn't be a proper blog if I didn't over use my adjectives! So wordy. I think I get that from Phoebe. Plus, I was busy text-flirting so my paragraphs were choppy and distracted. Text flirting is maybe my third favorite thing to do after holding hands and making out. There's been a lot of hand-holding since Thursday so I'm pumped. Regardless, the weekend was neither the best ever nor a total disaster. There were a few bump, really...but that's to be expected since we're herding drama llamas right now (a girl I know said that phrase and I'm totally stealing it because it's boss). But overall...since Friday and Saturday morning were so boss and there was lots of hand holding and smooching Sunday at the movies...I'll give it a 7.

And coming up on your local news...

Lots of exciting adventures are right around the corner! Since I am adopting this new upbeat, positive, happy, "in it for life", only worrying about the people I care about, making the most out of what I'm given attitude, treating people as I want to be treated attitude...WHEW!...I am pretty psyched about everything that is up and coming. Going to Summit with Todd this weekend for...I'm not sure what for. Drag racing of some sort. We bought these tickets the week we started dating. Then, of course, HEAVY REBEL!!! Dragway 42 comes next (where we developed mini-crushes and started cyber-stalking). Then another trip to Summit, the BEST Jump In The Sac show YET (HEPTAAAAAAAAAAANES), Niagara Falls version 2.0, The Great Chicago Shake-Down featuring Tom, Carol and Johnny, and who knows what else. Having stuff to look forward to makes life better.

Just like when Todd puts extra, extra, extra cheese on my pizza!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Let me know...if you really want to go.

This week I have learned 2 very valuable lessons. They seem very "Lifetime Movie of the Week" but they're important lessons. They are extremely basic and fundamental but sometimes it takes a while to get the basics. Once you've mastered them, the rest is cake. Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun. I think I heard that in a Brittney Murphy movie. Regardless, here's what I've got so far on my road to be a full fledged grown-up and well rounded happy human being:

1. I am WAY stronger that I thought I was.

I have always thought I was a pretty, fairly strong person. I have my weak moments, everyone does. But overall, I have survived some pretty rough stuff in my 29 years. I've come out on top. I've held my head high. Especially after my divorce. Once an ex-boyfriend of mine told me I was the strongest person he has ever met (because I survived 4 years of terror with him). It is the greatest compliment I have received to date. I wore than compliment like a badge of honor. But I've been tested over the years. I've been especially tested THIS WEEK! You start questioning if you really have the backbone and strength you thought you did. And you know what? I'm even stronger and tougher than I thought I was!! I think if this week really implanted anything positive in my pebble-sized's that I KNOW I can make it through this life. People try to beat me down but I bounce back and I come back better than ever. I can handle anything thrown my way. I can handle anything you've got, whoever you are. Try me.

2. I am only NOW understanding what loving someone entails.

I even said this outloud. I heard myself, alone in my house, saying, "This is what it's like to really love someone". It was an amazing realization to make after a 2.5 year relationship, a 4 years relationship, a 2 year marriage, and a 3 year relationship post-divorce. I am only NOW truly understanding the sacrifice you make when you love someone. As everyone knows by now, I've had a bad week. I'm pretty much had a hole punched in my heart. Luckily, I think my heart is made of chrome these days...and it had support from my brain. I've learned that forgiving someone for something is one of the most difficult thing you can do in life, especially if you've been REALLY hurt. You forgive people when you really love them. You make sacrifices when you really love someone.

My ex-husband left me twice early in our marriage. Eventhough he came back committed, I couldn't forgive him so I never really let my heart back in. And our marriage failed. After this week...and what's gone on in my relationship...I knew that I had to be forgiving...and I feel good about it. I am not happy about what I've learned this week and I would have prefered that I knew all the facts up front, but what I do know is that we love each other. And SOME HOW, this whole mess made US stronger. If only you had been there last night...

Maybe I'll end up with a broken heart down the road somewhere. Or maybe I'll end up marrying the man of my dreams. After last night...I'm betting on the wedding bells (and dancing to a Bouncing Souls song). When a person tells you they are sorry, and means it, you can waste time being mad, or you can forgive and go on with the awesome life you have together. What's better? Hostility, resentment, and tears...or you and them vs. The World?

That's what I thought.

So enjoy your weekend, loves of my life. If you have nothing to do, or even if you have something to do...cancel, come down to The Sac and GET TANKED with The Pussyfoot Girls. Performing will be The Cocktail Shakers, Death By Rodeo, Thunder Thighs (LAST SHOW) and Switchblade Saints! Contests, prizes, raffles, DJ Hot Trash spinning tunes...all for $7. Doors are at 8:00 and bands are at 9:00p on the DIZ-OT. Pussyfoot Girls are performing between the first and second band and again between the third and fourth...I think. Don't quote me on that. As always, The Sac is located at 7001 Denison Ave. in Cleveland. See you there...and wear a tank top/wifebeater for drink discounts and specials.


Thursday, June 19, 2008

She will shine like a new girl.

Yesterday will very well go down as one of the worst days of my life. I'd be willing to write the date down on a list in my own blood. It felt very much like when my husband left me. Same physical and emotional effects, but worse. I didn't leave my bed. I sat in the dark in silence for the longest time. Finally, I decided to at least put on a box set so I wouldn't just be alone with my thoughts. Never got around to eating anything though. That's typical when I'm emotionally riled up. It's been about...38.5 hours since I had any real food. My appetite took a hike. I actually sat there thinking, "How did I end up here? What a mess."

I'm not going to go into the blood-splattering gore. Just know it was a nightmare of a day. And the nightmare revolved around my relationship. We didn't break up...maybe we did, but we're together now. We're in it for life like we've always been. I really wish I could tell the whole story so I can explain but thinking about it all too much will just hurt me. I'm too cool for all this pain. I don't deserve what I got. And I think the people involved know that's true. Anyway, I'm currently invested in getting us back to where we were. Todd-n-Lacey vs. The World. We'll get there. Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.

So there you have it! I'm done pouting. I'm done weeping! I've got my backbone BACK! My heart is a little worse for the ware but he'll fix it. He promised. I know that yesterday turned me into a person I couldn't even look at in the mirror but it was only temporary. I just have to shake this nervous feeling that's looming. He told me that won't go away in a day and he's right. He knows what he did wrong. I know what he DIDN'T DO at all. There's no point in talking about this anymore. I just wanted anyone who was worried about me to can still worry. But I think I'll be OK, eventually.

Love all of your guts!

I want to start a new life
With my valuable hunting knife
She will shine like a new girl
And I want to shout out our love to the world (Hit it!)

Everything I think about, I think about...
Everything I talk about, I talk about with you
But you don't know what I go through
You don't know

Days, they will turn into nights
But my valuable hunting knife
It will not rust through the tears
And it will not lose its appeal over years (Come on!)

Everything I think about, I think about...
Everything I talk about, I talk about with you
But you don't know what I go through
You don't know

I'll never know
I'll never know
And then I will run
And then I will. . .
And then I will hide
And then I will. . .
And then I will run
And then I will. . .
And then I will hide

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Bow in the presence of greatness.

As you may have noticed, avid readers, I deleted yesterday's blog. I have only deleted 2 other blogs since 2001. I shouldn't have but did. What I had to say should really be said face-to-face. So I'll make that happen if I have to. I am NOT a person who is only tough on paper. Anything I said, I'd say to someone's face. So...putting that one to bed. I'm done with it.

In lighter, fluffier, cuter news, I am building the "BEST BACK SEAT" trophy for this year's Dragway 42 Rock-n-Race!!! I made my request to Jim and he was all about it. Not only will I be building the trophy and entering it in "BEST TROPHY" contest. Then I get to actually judge you will get the trophy for "BEST BACK SEAT". I told Todd about my design plan last night and he seemed really pumped about it. Than made me feel pretty boss. It's good to have art projects to do (yes, Potsie, your 2 paintings are top priority...even over Todd's Munny which he's been waiting for since...April...boy, I'm delayed).

Anyway, I really want to win "BEST TROPHY" but I'm not holding my breath. Can't wait to test out all those back seats! I need to develope some sort of criteria for how they will be judges. As I've said, it's best back seat as in Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Hubba, hubba. Where's my bra? Is that the cops!?! I figured if the car passes the visual test (I'm not getting a spring up's a hot commodity), I will then crawl back there and see how awesome I feel. If I feel awesome and the car is still qualified...well...that's where the criteria list is still in the developement stages. I have 5 weeks to get my bullet points down.

And of course...the 3rd Saturday of the month is straight ahead so it's time to Jump In The Sac with The Pussyfoot Girls! Per usual, doors are at 8:00, bands (4 this month...YOWZA) are at 9 on the dot. The theme is GET TANKED so wear a tank top of wife beater for drink specials. Cocktail Shakers, Death By Rodeo, Thunderthighs, Switchblade Saints, and of course, the lusty, busty Pussyfoot Girls. I just wanted to rhyme lusty and busty today. We're not that full of ourselves, yo. DJ Erin from "Hot Trash" will be spinning tunes. I'm be cruisin' around (but not getting drunk...putting beer on the back burner cause I haven't been feeling like myself lately) so come say HELLO! Shake my paw.

I really wish I had some Wacky Mad Libs. Sigh...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I heard your heart beating true.

I don't even know what I feel like saying today. I'm half hyper and my motor is really revving and I'm half exhausted and need to shove some toothpicks up in these lids. Neither is helping me feel very settled right now. It's a weird and sort of uncomfortable combination. Probably not the prime time to empty my brain on the page for posterity but whatever. In hind-sight, I guess I'll want to have record of every kind of day I lived. Right now, I'm bored, hot-in-the-pants, and struggling to function, all while being highly annoyed by a dinosaur-sized house fly (that isn't in my house). In my book, that's blog time!

We're packing up the Cat-Mobile (I use to call it "Earl" but I'm sort of over that title. Earl was my friend. He is my friend. And he's big and black, like my car...but I haven't seen him in awhile and the novelty has worn) on Saturday and trucking on down to Toledo for the "Makin' Junk Run" car show, following in the footsteps of Grimm-n-Jim. RUN ON SENTENCE! YOWZA! Anyway, I really need this right now. I need some one-on-one time with Todd outside of the bedroom and off the couch, just for a little while. I think he needs some fun and I think I'm the girl he should have it with. G-Rated, X-Rated, whatever. I can't reach in an massage his brain...without bloody and lethal I'm going for an alcohol-fueled, rockin'-out sort of remedy. I suspect positive results.

And before we ditch down like those 2 outlaws in that Steve Miller the way, I just recently learned that after they store the money, SHE stole it from HIM..., we're going to see Miss Firecracker One Woman band on the west side and THEN going to see Cult of the Ps...ARRRRRRRRRRGH! I just massacred that house FLY! Fluids were FLYING! It reminded me of being in bed with Todd, but only slightly more gruesome. I usually don't want to vomit after a good tussle. BLECH! I hate flies. Where was I? Cult of the Psychic Fetus is opening for my pals and yours (maybe not YOURS)...Sasquatch and The Sick-a-Billies! Who's psyched??? THIS GUY!

I don't really even feel like talking about anything any more after the fly incident. I can see him in my garbage can and one of his buddies is circling. Plus, every time I talk about how stoked I am for the weekend...something blows up in face and I just can't take that kind of let down right now. I want to sleep in, I want cocktails, I want to rock out, I want to smooch, I want to hold hands, I want to wear my FORD tank-top, I want to hug Natalie, I want to watch Dave drool, I want to paw old cars, I want to cruise with the tunes on (OOH! Road trip set list has to be made tomorrow!!! Not that Toledo is far...or awesome...), I want to have hotel sex, I want to NOT have a hangover. I want a lot. I just want to have some fun. And I want Todd to have fun. And F-U-N quotient looks promising.

I just decided right now that I'm going to document the whole weekend in pictures. Did I mention it's a long weekend that's starting in 20 minutes?!? You guys are in for some photographic treats come Monday, let me tell YOU! Yeah...I'm smiling right now. The only thing that would make this weekend better is if I uncontrollably burst out laughing during sex which prompted Todd to do the same. Oh WAIT. Let me try again...the only thing that would make this weekend better is if I had a tattoo instructing me on how to use chopsticks tattooed on my forearm. But that's coming soon. What WOULD make this weekend better???


Monday, June 09, 2008

Just to think, you were just passing by.

I just looked down at my calendar to see what the countdown was until we leave for Heavy Rebel (24 days, bitches) and almost threw up all over it. This week in my little life is jam-packed solid like sardines in a can! Like clowns in a clown car! Like genitals in a porn star's holes! Yeah, I grossed myself out with that one. Feel a little dirty now. Walk it off. Anyway...Yikes! Stripes! I'm going to actually need to schedule time to shower and sleep at this rate! I guess it's better to have a full dance card than be a wallflower. Or something sappy like that.

Today: Work on new PFG routine.
Tuesday: PFG practice.
Wednesday: Delivering fliers and JITS meeting.
Thursday: Iron Maiden at Blossom.
Friday: Miss Firecracker AND Sasquatch shows!
Saturday: Company picnic thing and Jen's party.
Sunday: Father's Day.
Monday: DROP DEAD!!!

Friday, June 06, 2008

This isn't really sex. This isn't really life.

John "Dynomite" Jackson once refered to masturbating as "having a Battle Royale with your nether regions". I thought that was probably the most profound and entertaining statement of my lifetime. And I've heard A LOT of mind-blowing things. I do watch Adult Films, from time to time. I felt the need to capitalize that...Adult Films...because to me, they are cinematic genius! I could tell you a story about a girl painted in all silver spending some time with a unicorn and a guy in a ballerina costume but I don't want to set your brain a'blaze. Why all the smut?

Spring Fever is raping my brain!

I can not stop thinking dirty. Not even DIRTY, per say, but I can not stop thinking about Todd. And I'm all filled up with butterflies as if I just met his ass yesterday. Butterflies and dirty, that's what's filling me up right now. I can tell I'm blushing. I can feeeeeeel it! My mouth is dry and my heart is pounding. In fact, one of the things that is occupying my thinking happened just last night. We were chest to chest and silent for a long time, catching out breath and he asked me what I was thinking about (always sex-ay). What was I thinking baout, honestly? I could not tell which heartbeat was his and which was mine. I have to stop thinking. I have to put all thoughts of Todd out of my head or I will not make it through this day. I love that fucking weasel so it's hard to stop. Hard to quit. Think about baseball. Think about baseball.


The weekend looks like it has some potential despite the fact that my big ass is officially in da poor house. After a MAJOR financial set back at home and a major financial set back at work, there is nothing in my wallet but moths. Nothing. Not even a condom I've been harboring since high school. I was supposed to go to the Spook Show but that's been scrapped. After this anal-rape of a week I've had, I can NOT just sit home and stew. I don't want to be miserable and sad! I'm the cheerleader! I'm the fixer-upper! So here's what I'm 'bout to do:

Tonight I am going to sit in the sweltering heat and watch my nephew play baseball. He asked me to come to his game and he's almost 19 so this is most likely his last year with the city. So there I'll be. It's free. Following that, I'm going back to his house to swim because I will be on fire, the water will be icy, and there will be beer and food, care of my sister and her hubby. FREE! And then I will chill...dirty style...with Todd. Friday...check!

Saturday...Spook Show day, sniff...Johnny and I are having our second official drinking contest day! We had it once during that horrific snow storm where no one could go anywhere...yet Tom and Carol managed to walk to a bar, my heroes. The official start time is 1:00p and we're going to see who can consume the most in a 12 hour period. You can pace yourself if necessary. All that matters is who is left standing (or laying or throwin up) in the largest pile of empties. We'll watch movies and eat food. It will be almost virtually FREE. Almost. I am the reigning champ so I intend to win. You'd be stunned how much beer you can consume if you wear pajama pants all day. Gives you room to bloat. Saturday...CHECK!

Sunday is for pure recovery. I'm going to watch the race. I might cook chicken. I might clean my closet. I'll probably be an utter sloth, glued to the tube. Maybe I'll ride my bike. I should probably work on Karen's paintings. I should for sure finish the great basement project of 2008. I should certainly pay a little more attention to my recent head injury. As of right now, Sunday is wide open and oozing with possibilities. All of which ARE or MUST BE free...cause mama in the poor house.

So that's life. Filthy. Lovin' it.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Not lost but gone before.

Emotions. Can I get rid of them? Can I feed them to your snake? Will your snake eat my emotions? When Karen and The Tigers put out their death metal album, I hope there is a song on it called, "Will Your Snake Eat My Emotions?".

Going to see The Breeders tonight. I wasn't really that pumped about it to be honest (sorry, Johnny) but their new album is amazingly good. Especially the song "German Studies". I hate how the German language sounds (sorry Germans), maybe because I can't speak it and anyone I know who TRIES to speak it sounds like their on the verge of hacking up lungs and tossing guts. Not attractive. No desireable. This song, this album...good stuff. Now I'm pumped.

I woke up early this morning and had breakfast with Todd before he went to work. I've only done this twice but both times, I've missed him twice as much during the day which is annoying. Like getting carbon fiber on your skin. Oh the agony of having those little black fibers on my HANDS!!! Nightmare. Total and utter.

Regardless...Todd and I had some ruff-n-rocky spots this week which were about as annoying as the aforementioned carbon fabric. But we're back to being total knock-outs. I guess if you don't have a brawl or a spat every now and again then you won't be inclined to send your girlfriend texts that say, "Have I told you lately how much I'm in love with you?". Knocks my socks right off. Every day.

Told my mom I felt queasy. Hates it. Makes her nervous.

Feelign queasy makes me nervous also. GULP!