Saturday, December 31, 2011

As of January 1st, 2012...

...I will no longer be posting here at The Cleveland "A". In my blog life, I kept my pre-pregnancy life and mommy life separated with The Cleveland "A" and The Family At 1313 Mockingbird Lane. But that's really ridiculous, I've come to realize. I'm still me but I'm also a mom now. I didn't stop being me because Spencer came into my life, I just got better. If I want to keep blogging, which I do, then everything needs to be rolled into one because that's how life is.
So starting tomorrow you can find me blogging about all things awesome at a new location. New year, new blog. I hope you'll follow along because I'm sure things will be as crazy as they've ever been because 2012 is going to be my year. So Happy New Year, loyal readers, and...good night.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Dear Santa:

I'm not sure that the man upstairs is listening anymore. Maybe he never was. So I'm relying on you, big man, to make some holiday wishes come true for me and the people I care about. It's not much to ask. I don't want to win the lottery or bring harm to anyone. I'm not asking for anything frivolous or silly. I know I've asked for a lot of things, a lot of help in my life but believe me, I would trade everything, anything that I have to just to see some miracles. And again, I stress, for me AND the people I care about most dearly. We all need some damn magic.

So in the words of Morrissey, Haven't had a dream in a long time. See the luck I've had can make a good man...bad. So, for once in my life, let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the first time.


Lord knows it would be the first time.

Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


I really need something good to happen for X-Mas. And I'm going to be selfish and say I really need something good to happen for me this year. Usually, and a lot recently, I've been so worried about why so much junk has to happen to people I love and care deeply about. But right now, I need to think about me and my family, and damn...we need to catch a break. Something good HAS to happen for us. I'd pray for it but I'm still not talking to the man upstairs. If everything happens for a reason, I'd sure as Hell like to know why some of the things that have happened to my family went down.

I just need something. Anything.

I need one full day where I don't think about the morning after Spencer was born and everything fell to effing shambles.  Like I've previously said, and it breaks my heart to even think it, I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare. But I'd want Spencer to be there. And I'd want him to be alright. And that's not going to happen. If by some wacko miracle, I got a chance for things NOT to be the way they are, that would mean there would be no Spencer. That thought is too much to take. So things are the way the way and I have to suck it up, accept it, and deal with it.

But I think I'm owed. And I want to collect. Now.