Friday, March 30, 2007

And that's what everyone's talkin' about!

I am hosting a small and sensual get together tonight and I'm not sure whether I'm more pumped about that or about the fact that I'm eating cottage cheese mixed with blueberry pie filling! That was a long and pointless sentence but I'm really excited about my low calorie, high taste breakfast. My taste buds are all riled up. Regardless...

My event tonight started out as a game night because I wasn't really fulfilling my game night requirement on my resolution list. But now it's developed into a good, ol' fashioned beer drinking fiesta. It won't be much of a fiesta without Air Supply but Sugar banned them for some reason. She just hasn't been properly exposed. And it's not like I'm also busting out the vinyl Air Supply at every gathering. Just when I'm setting a mood. But I forgive you Sugar for forbidding them. You're still every woman in the world to me.

My fella isn't coming tonight which is disappointing. I suppose I could force him to attend, ear ache and all, but...meh. I'll just have to have enough fun for the both of us. But I won't eat enough mozzarella sticks for the both of us. That could be both dangerous and disgusting.

What am I rocking on 2007 Resolution List thus far???

3. Call Bill on his bullshit - maybe this affects my "let the little things go" resolution but it's just something I have to do. Maybe I sound like a nag but...meh.

4. Treat others the way I expect to be treated - I've mended some fences...tried to be there for people as much as I can. Trying to be a better pal.

11. Bust my hump at my job proving that I'm worth more money - I got a raise so this one is officially checked off!!!

13. Spend more time with my friends - tonight...duh.

18. Do some home improvements and keep the joint clean - I painted my kitchen sun shiney yellow, the carpet on the stairs has been ripped up, the cats got new litter boxes, and my closet gave up 4 bags full of garbage...I can see the floor of it again!

19. Avoid drama - word.

20. Continue to NOT jog/run and continue to HATE joggers/runners - word, squared.

21. Go to the movie theater more - we saw "Wild Hogs" and I'm hoping to go see "Blades of Glory" tomorrow.

24. Totally rape Netflix for all it's worth - I currently have "Happy Feet", "The Holiday", and "Turistas" PLUS I upped my account back to 5 movies at a time. It's my guilty pelasure!

26. Have a super mega fun Vegas vacation - DONE! Another one checked off!

29. Keep the high five alive - I high-five whenever I get the chance. People hate it but I love it.

31. Buy more books and read them - I just finished "Scar Tissue" by Anthony Kiedis and I'm doubling up on "Running With Scissors" and "King Dork".

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Happy 28th Birthday, Johhny! I hope you get a drunk, get a lap dance, get laid, get a tattoo you'll regret, throw up, and a bunch of other things you're supposed to do on your birthday. 28 looks good on you, buddy.

The fella and I are having a hermit weekend because moths are flying out of our wallets. And the moths are broke, too. We have multiple options of things we could be doing if the well hadn't run dry: going to C-Bus for a visit, hitting the 9th Annual Rockabilly Freakshow, going to Howl at the Moon (which was a sing-along good time and would be better if all the fratties has been wiped out of the crowd population), hanging with Johnny Birthday Boy at a free show. But it looks like Hermitsville for us.

Though Hermitsville started out as Dullsville when Puff fell asleep at 6:00 and I got a serious case of flipper finger. His remote has never felt so molested as I really caressed it's up and down channel button. But I can't even really remember anything I watched. Nothing sank in. It was all flip, flip, flip, flip. It didn't really kick Hermit Weekend off right but at least I got boatloads of sleep. I'm up and at 'em bright and shiney...working...and I'm only about 15% tired and aggitated. The cleaning broads are here and all I smell is Pinesol. It's irritating. My percentage of rage may be increasing.

Maybe we'll venture out into the daylight. Soak in some of this unpredictable Ohio weather. Who knows? We could just as well stay in our bed, watching movies, eating junk, and poking each other every now and then to make sure we're still alive. Poke, poke, poke.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

With a taste of a poison paradise.

Despite my ruffled appearance and blah attitude, I'm not an auto-blogography slacker. Really and truly. I'm just a busy scumbag! I have all these thrilling, rivetting, panty-drenching posts just stacking up like flapjacks but I never get a chance to edit them, spell check them, post them, and relish them. If I'm not at work, I'm sleeping (you like to drink or cook or listen to tunes, I like to veg). And if I'm not at work or sleeping, I'm trying to have a meaningful relationship...blather. And if I'm not doing any of that garbage, I'm trying to see if I can drink my weight in beer and dance my pants right off. It's all a tricky process. I have a method. You've probably all abandoned me but I can live with that. You'll come back. You're like migrating birds.

I had a vacation and you'll hear about it. You can't even avoid it.

After work/bar/bad pizza yesterday, I crawled under a blanket on my bed, powered up the good ol' immitation Tivo, ripped open a box of Goobers and thought, "Life's pretty good right now at this very moment". I was comfortable and content and not stressing about anything inparticular. I think I could have slept for a century after that realization but I had to make the Cleveland to Garfield commute. It was worth it as I begrudgingly hosed off the filth of the day, created some new and improved filth with Puffin, and slept a solid 6 hours drafting. Life really is good right now. Do ya feel me?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Last night I went to Puffin's with the intention of not being a girlfriend anymore. He knows that. I told him. There was screaming and yelling and just all around rage. But then he made me a grilled cheese sandwich. I consider it the Grilled Cheese of Peace. Now it is SO back on. I'm a cheese whore. It's my weakness. And I love that fool. I also appreciate that he can't change over night but promised he'd try to make all the necessary changes in order to NOT be a jerkoff and treat me better cause I'm a catch. I could have let go but I didn't. I just have too much fun. It outweights the icky nasties. Life isn't perfect.

But it was a damn good sandwich.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Bill's really trying to make things up to me but I feel very...whatever. I feel very cold and robotic. I don't know what this means (I usually think robots are k-rad but not in this sitch) but it can't mean anything good. But I can't really care about it right now. I wish I cared but I just don't. I'm tired of doing all the caring, all the making up, all the patching. This is not good.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

It's my one year anniversary with Puffin today and we're not even in the same place at the same time. If blood could actually boil...if it was physically possible for blood to boil and a person to remain walking and talking and flipping out...then my blood would be all a'boil right at this very second. A one year anniversary is something you get excited about and pat yourself on the back for because it means for all those days, you did not successfully kill each other and you MIGHT have even had a good time. It's my one year anniversary and I'm filled with venom. My luck.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

I don't want to go into all the gorey details because you're probably sick of all of ick and ooze and gore fille dup your ear holes, but let me just say's alcohol or me. Simple as that.

Let me also say THIS...when you wait for months for a particular event (a.k.a. The Pussyfoot Girls with Cult of the Psychic Fetus) and you make it very clear to someone (your boyfriend) that it's a very important evening for you and someone (your boyfriend) finds a way (by getting wasted and making a fool out of themselves AND you) to ruin it for you (fuck, fuck, fuck), you're going to just snap (and consider finally throwing in the towel).

That's all I'm going to say about THAT!

Now I will say that it's St. Patrick's Day and I am wearing my "Everyone Loves An Irish Girl" t-shirt. Any physical nastiness spawning from last night's outting has disappeared and I'm gearing up to hit a restaurant with The Shoes. Having a cocktail will probably be a bad idea but I'm going to have one anyway. Maybe I'll have ten. I'm leaving it up in the air because I'm currently in one of those "I dont' give a rat's ass" moods.

But I do give a rat's ass about fueling up with The I'm out.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Weeeeeeeeee're back!

I'm not thrilled to be back at work...not because I'm not into my job but because I was just in V-v-v-vegas and I'm returned to piles and piles and mountains of papers and I feel like their mocking me because they know how much I have to do to catch up. But I have to blather about my vay-cay before I statrt confusing what happened on my vacation and what happebed int he blockbuster film "Ocean's 11".

We had an uneventful flight featuring the film "Casino Royale" and a fairly tasty chicken patty. Getting the luggage (I'm glad mine was hot pink) and the rental car was an adventure but then we were off! And let me just say, God bless valet parking! Our hotel was, ya know, our hotel. You barely spend any time there so why shell out extra dough? That was my initial thought process but I can honestly say that was probably my last say at Excalibur. I'm ready to upgrade. I couldn't believe we were there...and staying on the 13th floor, nonetheless. We did a little walking, got buzzed, and had the best Pizza Hut I've ever had. Viva!

On Sunday, we hit a buffet (best mashed potatos EVER are at teh Excalibut Roundtable Buffet...mark those words, bitches), and it was off to the race! Sure, when we got to the gates we discovered that Las Vegas Speedway is one of the ONLY tracks to not allow coolers so there went $20 of beer down the drain. Our seats were a-maz-ing, the race was awesome, but it was hot. Burning hot with no protection from good, ol' sunny. I forgot to screen up (stupid Irish jackass) and the entire right side of my face and neck sizzled along with both arms, my chest and my knees! Sunburn knees and Vegas don't mingle well. Post race, we chilled, regrouped, hit a few key places, and chowed at the Rainforest Cafe. It was a pleasant day.

This is so the "What I Did On my March Vacation" version. Sorry. Too much happened and no one wants to hear about what went on behind closed doors of the 38 car at M&M World. I'm going light for your own sake. You'll thank me later.

Monday was my favorite day of all and I have 150 pictures to prove it. First, Bill went skydiving. We have a video and it makes his face looks like one of those wrinked dogs. It was on his list of things to do before he died and I'm glad I was there...and that he didn't die. After that, we ate and then we walked the ENTIRE strip! Hit every casino, gambled, drank, went to the wax museum, hung out at Treasure Island, drank, shopped for our pals, took pictures, goofed off, drank, saw lions and tigers and various other Vegas landmarks, and drank. We stumbled back to our room and I passed out. It was typical Vegas.

Our flight Tuesday was in the afternoon so we took full advantage of our rental car after we checked out. We went to the Hooters casino (yes, my boy collects shot glasses from Hooters...we are more opposite that you could imagine) and then to the Palms! I took pictures of the bunny head, teh Playboy store and club, and Hugh Heffner Dr. I bought a tank top and Bill even bought me a Girls Next Door bobble head (it's and smart). He also bought me a casino chip from M&M World and an Owl necklace. And probably loads ofother stuff. Regardless of how spoiled I am...we ate lunch at the NASCAR cafe which was LAME but the food was good and the there was horror!

SO MUCH TRAFFIC! We had to refuel the car, drop it off (total nightmare), get shuttled to the airport (nightmare number 2), and all the while, Bill is barking at anyone and anythign he can because not only are we millimeters away from missing our flight but his stomach is trying to escape from his body. It was rotten. We made it with 5 minutes to space. And the flight home was just annoying yet featured "A Night at the Museum" whcih was good and some sort of beef sub which was NOT good. I was glad to be home and seeing Phoebe's smiling face at the baggage claim. And then there was MORE horror!

Stuff was stolen from my luggage. $247 worth of stuff to be exact. Make-up, lotions, products, contacts, burth controll, and on and on and on. Worst of all, the 100 year old skeleton key that Bill gave me for Sweetest Day. Gone. I have a claim filed with TSA so now I just have to wait as we go through the steps. But my key...damn. I cried a lot. Couldn't sleep. Not the best homecoming.

But we wrapped things up yesterday by eating fondue for lunch and seeing "Wild Hogs", my first theater movie of 2007. Bill was extra sweet and comforting. Overall, our vacation was a success with just a few bumps here and there. I came home with $20 in my wallet so life is good. I'm sure there are multitudes of hilarious and terrifying stories from my trip but this is the basic outlines. We flew, we raced, we dove, stripped, we returned, we relaxed, and now we're back.


Saturday, March 10, 2007

Don't Know When I'll Be Back Again.

No more days to Vegas! We're leaving TODAY!

Oh my flipping fluffy flapjacks! My bags are fully stocked and I'm ready to go! I have my comfy plane clothes laid out, my Ipod ready to rock, my nutty Anthony Kiedis book ready to read, and...oh my GOD, I'm going to Vegas TODAY! With the man I'm a lovin' on! We've been planning this trek since November. It took so much work to get everything to fit in everythign we wanted to do and make it flow nicely together. Even Bill told me how proud he was of all the effort I put in to make things are easy as possible. I have the tickets (we're already checked in), the car reservation, the sky diving reservation, maps to and from everywhere we're headed, the race tickets...anything and everything we could need to make vacation chillaxable. Yeah, I'm going to give myself a pat on the ass. I worked hard. I deserve an ice-cream cone!

I'll miss you all a ton, fo' real. It's sometimes hard to be away and wonder what you're missing (but this is VEGAS...nothing I'm missing compares to free drinks and pirate shows). And I must give major props to Carol High Hair and Phoebe Bean for being our limo drivers to and fro. That's pretty killer or you two sexy bitches to give up portions of your day to cart around vacationers. When I'm not one, I hate vacationers. I'm all jealous of the fun that awaits them. But guess what? This time...FUN AWAITS ME! I wasn't excited fact, I was pretty damn depressed...but now that I have the tickets in my hand, a bag full of skimpy lingerie and brand new flip flops, and a man whose back I have to it time yet!?!?

See you on Thursday with pictures and battle scars! Hold down the fort!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Girl's Night Out featuring the female employees of the former Shamrock takes place tonight. I went from being a blonde to a red head just for the occasion. Red is better on me. Saucy. I'm getting dolled up cause I never get to really go out on the town. And I dont' even have to be a designated driver cause a limo will be rolling up shortly. I kind of get embarrassed by limos but's free and you can drink in it!

Our itinerary is pretty scheduled and I like it. I like some structure. I'm the last broad to be picked up and I guarantee all my confidants will be drunk by the time they get here. It's the first time some of them have been to my pad. They can marvel at my new yellow kitchen! So 50s! So cooking friendly and cheerful! Regardless, we're heading to the Powerhouse Pubs for an all-male review. I'm not jazzed about this but whatever. They serve drinks there. Then to the Howl at the Moon Saloon. I've always wanted to go there and I like to sing along so...good times.

I'll keep you posted on any of the various possible hijinx!