She's just trying to fit in but it's hard when she's never spoken to anyone.

Life right now revolves around being pregnant and hopefully not being pregnant soon. My baby, my husband, my house, and making it through this last week of work...that's my life right now and I'm OK with that. In the blogosphere, I've separated the pregnant part of my life from the rest of it and at this point, there's no division. I'm anxiously waiting to bring my son into this world. That's the only event on my dance card...no Lady Lead Foot show, no Road Rash Bash, no Granger Danger. In fact, my dad has grounded me to only destinations between home and the hospital. Good looking out, dad.

I've been trying to do too much. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's part of nesting. Maybe I'm still determined to prove that I've rocked my pregnancy from beginning to end. But I'm tired now. I can only do what I can do at this point. And honestly, after today, Castle Grayskull will be in good shape and that'll be a load off my mind. I've got the whole kingdom to myself while the fellas go to the tractor pull, an event I am NOT sad to miss! I'm devoting any energy I have today to cleaning the art room. I have a feeling being a parent might be inspirational so I want to be ready.

Will I ever REALLY be ready? Probably not. Todd has been a parent for 10 years but he's never been a full time parent and he had HIS parents in the same house to help out. Spencer is going to be ours 24/7 and we're in this together. It's exciting. It's an adventure. It's also terrifying. But I'm glad I became a parent when I did. Not that there's anything wrong with breeding young. I had that option, too. I'm just glad that I've done so much... I traveled, I screwed up, I lived...selfishly. I didn't miss out on any experiences, even the painful ones. Now I can give 110% to Spencer and make sure he has the awesome life he deserves. And my experiences with him are just going to add to the awesomeness of my life. No doubt.

This is a blog about my life. And this is it.

Miles away from nowhere and the wind doesn't have a name.

SCHMOWZOW! I can officially say I'm having a baby this month!

I know this isn't the baby blog but I thought it had to be documented. A year ago at this time (I think even on this DAY), we moved into Castle Grayskull and were months into trying to breed. Now look at us? Our house is a home and we're going to have a baby THIS MONTH (even if he is the maximum 2 weeks late...which I would like to think he wouldn't do to his mama).

As a last major outting before motherhood, Todd and I met Tessa (Phoebe ended up being too under the weather to attend) at the Great Lakes Renaissance/Medieval Faire and had a rad, if not HOT, afternoon. First off, Renaissance Faire merchandise is pretty much all awesome. If I had a surplus of funds, I would have left with one of everything...especially this octopus ring that I fell in love with. I settled for what I truly wanted...a glittery ribbon crown, which I wore all day, and a dyed fox tail which put my little immitation tail from Target to SHAME. I think Dr. Nightmare thought the tail was her new boyfriend when I brought it in the house.

Besides merchandise, I loved the general feeling of the faire, being tucked back under the trees like I was in Sherwood Forest (except there were cream puffs and pizza available). I'll give them props, their selection of snacks was extensive but it was too damn hot to want to eat, though Todd did put a hurting on a turkey leg. If you're into people watching, this was the place to be. The costumes (of all people there, not just employees) were amazing. And there was no shortage of things to do and see. Dancing, comedy, demonstrations, and my favorite, the jousting.

I was proud of myself for putting in 3 hours under the baking sun. I really did have a great time, though my back got angry and my feet weren't much happier. But my good mood was quickly SMOOSHED when we got on the highway in Geneva and drove right into a traffic shit storm. It took us an hour to go 6 miles and then 10 minutes to go 1/10 of a mile. Bad News Bears. Todd said at least we were spending time together...but I was uncomfortable, exhausted, and starving. It was hard not to cry. At one point, we threw the car into park and switched seats because I was having contractions and my son was seeing how far he could stick some appeandage under my rib cage. Grrrr.

3 hours and 15 minutes later (YES, longer than the amount of time we were at the faire), we pulled into Castle Grayskull. I was in pajamas and in bed with Dr. Nightmare in 2 seconds flat. Todd made me some dinner and I fell asleep with Top Chef D.C.  Overall, I'm glad we went and I feel satisfied in my last roadtrip for awhile. We ran into Brother Ed and Natalie there and she told me about her short labor and (3 push) delivery. I hope I can channel her awesomeness on our big day! And just think, next year I can take Spencer to the faire.

HUZZAH! And let the final countdown begin!

Gives us those nice bright colors. Gives us the greens of summer.

Another edition of Blogging From Bed, this time with a snorting husband next to me. I had one of the worst nights sleep I've had since being pregnant. Lots of tossing-n-turning, vivid dreams, and staring at the ceiling. Not awesome but I'm dealing since I was warned this would happen towards the end of baby-baking. The lack of sleep could be due to anxiousness and anxiety about when our little monster is going to appear or it could be because...

WE'RE GOING TO THE RENAISSANCE FAIRE TODAY!!

In a few hours, we'll be jumping in the car, turning on the tunes, and heading to Geneva-On-The-Lake for the Great Lakes Medieval Faire (after a stop off to grab my wife, Phee-Bizzle). I am so very excited! I can't remember ever going to a Renaissance Faire, it's my last hurrah before the baby comes, and I'm going to be surrounded by awesome, fun-loving people as my Tessa is meeting us there! It's just something different to do and it's something that is not alcohol centered. I can't wait to do things like this with Spencer. I want to see live-action chess, jousting, wenches, and all the amazing costumes! And I'm getting myself a crown, damn it, and hopefully something for my monster. It's going to be fantastic day. I just hope I don't go into labor there. I want all the creature comforts of modern medicine.

I'm going to go have apple pie for breakfast to start the day.

I'm so happy today!!

HUZZAH!!!

We'll exhale. We'll high five. We will know at last how good it feels to be alive!

Join Us.

At first I was terribly disappointed and distressed but like most things, the new They Might Be Giants CD has grown on me like a strange fungus or extra appendage. The reason they have managed to remain my favorite band since 1990 is that they are who they are. You know it's a They Might Be Giants song upon first listen. and you have no choice but to respect the quirk. They don't try to be who they're not. They're just naturally awesome. So if you've picked up this album and are on the fence about it, give it time. Let your extra limbs develop!

My tickets have been secured for their Cleveland show. You might think, "But that's only 4 weeks after your supposed to give birth! It's irresponsible for you to be going to see a band!" I was kind of thinking the same thing...or at least I was slightly worried I'd be given the shit stick. So I didn't even bring up going. It was my fantastic hubby's idea. He said, "Who is going to the show with you? Your sister?" I questioned him about not minding if I went and he said he assumed I'd be going since they're my favorites and he'd happily spend the evening with Spencer. It didn't take any more arm twisting.

So the set list better blow MINDS since I'm leaving my 4 week old buddy!!

Speaking of blowing minds...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHEE-BIZZLE!!!

This is YOUR day! And I hope that it's awesome from the minute you wake up until the minute you fall into bed. And when you DO fall into bed, I hope it's either nakedly with your husband OR in a drunken stupor from too much fun. It's been many moons since I've seen a drunk Phoebe. Or a naked one for that matter. I can't wait to celebrate your 36 years at the Renaissance Faire on Sunday (I told Spencer he MUST stay in his cushy waterbed until AFTER said Faire). I haven't spent nearly enough time with you this year which is a bummer but I have boatloads of good memories to tide me over between hangouts. So HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, MISERY GUTS!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Anything else I need to blather on about on this fine morning?

Um, my contractions are all over the map (an hour and half, 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 41 minutes, 4 hours). And I don't really care that Amy Whinehouse is dead, even is that sounds cold. I didn't personally know her and if you mess with meth, what do you expect? Oh, and congratulations to Little Erin and Wolfboy Slim on their news. RAD!

I guess that's all I've got.

This is it, boys. This is war!

I've got to say, I find it unusually sexy when Todd makes comments about Project Runway when I'm watching it (Top Chef,too...he knows why I have sharks named Fabio, Stefan, and Hosea) And I'm not talking about comments about how much he hates the show. I'm talking about observations that show he's been paying attention. He becomes this fashionista and it makes me laugh. And I think the laughing makes it all sexy, not to mention that he can usually pick the winners and losers! Metrosexual! But he's wrong about Lorena...she's beautiful. He's nutty on that one.

We just held hands while watching The Dilemma. Good time, bad film.

My skull has been an issue this weekend and has been randomly spurting blood out of my nostrils. Regardless, I made it out to the Roll-n-Bowl at Yorktown Lanes last night to see Miss Firecracker One Woman Band. My darling pal Carol was ON last night. She was full on rock star and flat out hilarious. When she gets nervous before shows, it always blows my mind because she OWNS. And she loves me more than bacon...she told me so. It was good to get pertied up and see pals. But Spencer let me know when he had enough and I followed his cue.

And because my pals are so flat out rad, Spence scored a gift last night. I was told it was a "third generation hand me down" which made it that much cooler. It ended up being a sweet vintage Yorktown Lanes t-shirt. Yeah, he is DESTINED to be awesome. It never stops boggling my mind how people have responded to my little Squiggy in such awesome ways. Thanks Jeremy and Niccole. You're awesome!

So after a day of cooking out and swimming fun at my sister's, I'm chilling in our bed with Dr. Nightmare watching more of my Project Runway marathon. Got to gear up for another work week. I've got 12 work days at The Coast before I go on leave so I need to makes sure my replacement (also my nephew) is as prepared as I can make him. Just a little mental stress to add to the physical. I'm glad that I had some down time because I feel overwhelmed from time to time these days, I'm not going to lie. But life is still good.

And in 1 week, it'll be good, Renaissance style!

HUZZAH!!

The net reward would justify the collosal mess they'd made of their lives.

HUZZAH!

That's right Montagues and Capulets, break out the Mead and hold on to your chastity belts cause we're going to the Renaissance Faire! Next weekend, the husband, the wife (that would be Phee-Bizzle) and I are going to Geneva for what happens to be Pirates Invasion Weekend at the Renaissance Faire and I really can't wait. I want to see some wenches, watch some jousting, and buy one of those crowns with all the ribbons. I predict a splendid time, especially going with Todd and Phoebe. I need to brush up on my Faire speak so I don't just say HUZZAH every five seconds.

And the Faire isn't the only thing filling my dance card.

I should be taking it easy and I will be. All of my upcoming activities can be participated in by sitting in a chair. This weekend is Rock-n-Bowl (which I missed last year because we were boxing up the Ol' Kentucky Corral) with the following weekend being the Faire. Then there's Road Rash Bash, whcih I manage to miss every year for one reason or another, and then the Granger Danger extravaganza at the Wildman Compound. How's that for pure awesomeness?

I can't make any guarantees about which events I'll be able to waddle to, especially since I'm scheduled to bust in only 30 days. But I'm going to do my best to make it to at least ONE of these events (outside of the Renaissance Faire, which is a given...huzzah). As I said to Carol High Hair, Spencer is destined to be born into a life of rock-n-roll so I might as well take a chance that my water could break in public. I've seen some of these people toss their cookies, fall on their asses, and act a fool...they can see my amniotic fluid.

Speaking of fluid, I have a doc appt today. Read about it HERE later.

Enjoy your Tuesday, one of the most annoying days of the week.

I didn't know where I was at first just that I woke up in your arms.

I can finally comment on blogs again! Oh happy day! I was about ready to give blogger the old heave-ho out of utter frustration but my commenting abilities are BACK. You can thank your lucky stars, just as I am. And speaking of blogging, I wish some of you were doing more of it. I need things to read and miss your jabber. I've got 12 weeks of down time coming up. Entertain me. I plan on going back to the get-go, re-reading and tagging all of my entries. Not sure if I'm ready to rehash the past but I'm going to. Hopefully I'll come out the other side relatively unharmed. Here's hoping.

Not so unharmed is my skull which has been throbbing for days. Woke up from a cat nap yesterday with swollen eyes, a bloody nose, and a pulsating brain I'm pretty sure was trying to escape. It was a horror show, indeed. Also a horror show was later in the evening when Santo despite instruction and multiple warnings, punched me in the stomach. I silently cried for multiple reasons: it hurt, I was worried about Spencer, and I may have finally accepted that we can't have those 2 dogs and an infant in the same house. My guts and my heart hurt.

Believe it or not, I love my dogs. But we've worked with them for 3 years and they're getting more hyper and insane, not less. I'm going to be a first-time mom and that's scary enough without being afraid of your own dogs. If it were up to Todd, they'd be in new homes already. But I can't abandon my dogs. And I can already here some people making comments...bit you're not in my situation. If anything happened to Spencer because I couldn't let two unstable dogs go...well...

Moving on before my nose starts to bleed again.

I have goals for today. I have to clean our room, my bathroom and Spencer's bathroom so all the trash is ready for garbage day or Good Will. Fascinating, I know. Then I want to paint some robots and/or space monsters for the nursery since I didn't get to it yesterday. Then I want to spend the rest of the night on the couch with my husband, abusing Netflix and On Demand. Work hard in the morning to be rewarded at night, kind of thing.I just need to get out of this bed first. Maybe some motivating music with help.

And speaking of motivating music (watch me procrastinated), I hope to make it out to Rock-n-Bowl next Saturday to see some of your adorable faces and rockin' bands. I'm also hoping to hit the Ren Faire, Road Rash Bash, and Granger Danger. Damn, I have cool friends! and if my water breaks at any of these events, so be it! My little monster was destined to be born into a world of rock-n-roll!!

Todd said I was his best friend the other night

: )

He's a mean motah scootah and a bad go-gettah.

I have to get out of bed in half and hour to make a bunch of 10 year olds their breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, sausage, and hash browns. After that, parents should start arriving, gift bags should be dispersed, and I can reclaim Sunday as my own! Even if a middle-of-the-night Charlie Horse has destroyed my left leg. Blast.

Overall, I think I threw another successful par-tay. One of the ankle-bites told me Aiden's parties are the best. Aw shucks. We kicked it off with swimming, snacks, and tiki drinks (and only one time-out casualty for name calling). There was grilling, more swimming, a movie and epic sundae bar (while I got in my first Grayskull pool time of the summer), and then night swimming! I've got to say, our yard is made for night hangouts. Even though we spent 2 days prepping for this shin-dig, I felt relaxed chilling on my patio. Being entertained by Tessa and John Jackson didn't hurt either. They're my go-to people for...well, pretty much everything!

We finally closed the pool down around 10:00 and set the little monsters up with popcorn and a movie. How no one's intestines exploded, I'll never be sure. Though there could be nothing but carnage waiting for me when I vacate this bed! There could be a horror show down there. Hopefully they kept it all in for their parents and toilets.

And speaking of carnage, my house no longer falls under that category! It's squeaky clean and after today's patio construction, there will only be the basement project to finish. My stress levels are sinking like the Titanic!! Such a fancy free feeling. Now if only this baby bomb would make his debut so the Castle wouldn't have a chance to get destroyed! But that's wishful thinking. He'll appear when he's ready. And hopefully not while I'm going down my pool slide, as was suggested by my adult party guests.

Maybe post-pancakes, I'll go float around my pool in a tube. Nothing says "90 degree day" like a preggo chick slothing it up in a swimming pool. Now if only I could reclaim control over my left leg. I'll get you yet, Charlie Horse.

I've seen it all. I was here first.

Throwing up certainly tops my list of things I loathe. I toss my cookies and start to whimper and become very melancholy. When it comes to throwing up (and you'd think I'd be a pro by now...I threw up ten times more when I WASN'T pregnant), I do NOT know how to suck it up, man up, what have you. I'm a puss when my insides end up on the outside.

Did I mention that I'm sick?

I don't think this is any late-in-the-game morning sickness creeping in. I thought I had food poisoning on Thursday night/Friday morning but it wore away, at quesadilla-induced food poisoning tends to do. So I think I just pushed myself too hard this weekend and am paying for it now. The downside to a little too much sun-n-fun, if you will. But luckily, I already had a check-up scheduled for today...it's always good to double check the baby machine. I like to be on top of things. You can make that dirty if you want.

Speaking of sun-n-fun, this weekend really was solid. Thank sweet zombie Jesus for Todd's schedule change. We actually got to spend some time being goofy together, outside of our steak-n-movie date. We went to the zoo one day which was pretty fun, even if we didn't see any wolves, and pool-hopped the next. Good, clean, American holiday fun. Or something like that.

Missed Heavy Rebel for the 3rd year in a row but not many people I knew made the trek. I think the allure is starting to wear off a bit for a lot of people. But man oh man, there's nothing like a Saturday night at Heavy Rebel! I have some phenomenal memories of those Saturday night. Phenomenal and blurred. Anyway, I'm not complaining because I had fun celebrating Independence Day the way we did. Low-key, lotsa fun.

Capgun Cowboys reunion show on Friday. MUST attend. MUST!

And MUST find a way to stop songs from being stuck in my head!

You take me to and lead me through Oblivion.

I can officially say that we're having a baby next month. I remember on New Year's when Todd declared that we were having a baby this YEAR. Now it's right around the corner! I'm no longer feeling anxious...at least not in a bad, medication-needed kind of way. I'm just eager to hold my little monster. You know, after he's all hosed off and goo-free. We're ready. I mean, you're probably never REALLY ready but we have what we need to at least welcome him into this crazy life we've built. His room, his stuff, potentially rad parents, definitely rad aunts-n-uncles galore, and love. We've got love in surplus. I'd love to tote him around in utero forever because the world can be a rough place...but my ribs can't take the beatings. Soon, little ninja. Soon.

Had an impromptu date last night after the scheduled home renovation project wrapped up early. Hooray! We have baseboards! The formal, no-need-for-it living room and dining room are DONE! We went out to put a hurting on some steaks and then parked it on the couch to watch "Devil", which was neither horrible nor awesome. I predicted the "Devil"'at the beginning. Go me. Anyway, I'm thinking we might get a date night part 2 today since we haven't spent much dough recently. I love having extra time together with Weasel. He's only been back on days for a week and I already feel more relaxed. Everything is settling into place and it feels damn good.

And tomorrow is the 4th of July which means some outdoor chill time, swimming, and hopefully a plethora of things that sparkle or glow!!! I like the 4th. I like painting my fingernails (we'll go with blue this year) and wearing the traditional colors like a proper nerd. As I get older I'm more into holidays and family stuff. It's good all around.

Everything is good all around.

I was born to love her and I will never be free. She'll always be a part of me.

First off, let me say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my best friends...probably my BEST friend, actually, on the planet, TESSA! Happy 32nd Birthday, love of my life. I hope that this next year finds you happier, healthier, and just showered in oodles of awesomeness. While I don't think I can make it to your shin-dig due to yesterday's hospital events, I will be there in spirit listening to you sing 99 Red Balloons...I ONLY like it when you sing it. Happy Birthday, Onionhead!

Still not happy with the layout. Irked more and more every day.

All my temporary posts have been removed as I believe my message has been received. What I hate about social networking and technology (I'll be honest, there isn't a lot) is that perception of tone and miscommunication are so easy. It was suggested that I do something via interwebs, I encouraged someone to get involved in the situation via text, and the next thing you know, everything is all effed up and lost in translation. How the Hell did you get THAT out of what I said?? I never said anything LIKE that! It ends up being a circus and I have enough clowns in my life.

And drama! Including me and my spawn which you can read about HERE!!

And if you don't feel like reading about my Emergency Room fiasco, just know that both Spencer and I are aces but we'll know even more about a doctor's appointment on Monday. I want to thank all my pals out there for their well-wishes and concerns. You're all cool in my book. And my book is illustrated for those of you who get bored easily.

New carpet came today bringing our formal living room/dining room remodeling project closer to completion. In fact, the room should be done by Sunday! Hooray! Having all these partially finished home projects is weighing heavily on my brain...especially now that my activity has been restricted a little bit more. It will be nice to walk in the door and not see pure havoc. And even though it's the room we use the LEAST in the house, it's probably the room that has the most of our quirky personalities in it. Beats the pants of the beige boredom it used to be. One thing we are not...is beige.

When THEY still lived here. Woof.

Before the destruction began.

During the destruction.

Yep, that's black-n-gray checkered carpet right there!

Formal living room...the first room you see as you enter Castle Grayskull.

Dining room that maybe we'll actually use now!

Next on the never-ending agenda or making a house a home? Finishing our patio/pool projects, putting the basement/man cave back together after the great flooding (thank you again, home owners insurance), putting finishing touches on the Spencer Dome...and whenever there's time (the other projects are priorities), painting the living room and re-doing our downstairs bathroom TIKI STYLE! Somewhere in that list I'd like to fit in some swimming and, oh yeah, giving birth.

That would be SWELL!

I won't cry for you. I won't crucify the things you do.

I am one irritable little zombie this morning. I'm mere milliseconds away from hunting down some sort of tool and removing my spine and all the muscles of my back, leaving me a puddle of muck on the floor. Attractive, no. Necessary, totally.

I know the back pain and tailbone pressure all goes around with hauling precious cargo. But exhaustion can make the simplest things seem a gazillion times more horrific. So that's where I am right now. Beat, uncomfortable and taking it out on the world. If you have to physically interact with me today, I would maintain distance. After all, I've read "Real Ultimate Power".

On the plus side, and this IS a plus as far as I'm concerned, Lady Gaga's new album has grown on me like a delicious and nutritious algae. My initial distaste for it was cause for concern but now I can't stop jamming it. Whew. What a load off my mind. Sure, there may be too many song centered around religious themes for my taste, but what's good is REALLY good.  "Bloody Mary" may be stuck in my head all day and I'm pretty OK with that. Way to go, Gaga.

Way to go.

COUNTDOWNS:
12 days until the baby shower.
16 days until my next doctor's appointment.
65 days until Spencer's due date.

A meditation engine runs on gasoline, caffeine, and time.

2 more followers gets me that much closer to my goal of building a robot!

And sometimes I wish I drank coffee. But not enough to do anything about it.

You know what feels incredibly awesome and empowering? Saying what you want to say without thinking or pausing or censoring yourself. Just vomiting your mind, as my girl Gaga would say, all over people at the exact moment the thoughts pop into your head. ZING! You may think this is a bad idea and maybe it is. But lots of bad ideas probably feel incredible. Anyway, I think I've pussyfooted around saying what I want to say for far too long and that's not my style. I'd rather deal with the fallout than the stress of keeping it all bottled up.

And before you try to start blaming my brashness on hormones, let me stop you in your tracks. During my entire preggoness (30 weeks today and you can read about that later here), my emotions have been in check. Except during one beer commercial where a soldier was returning home to a big party in a barn. That made my eyes leaky. Anyway, I've just been thinking a lot which lead me to realize that I sure have buttoned my lip over the last few years and that's not my style. I'm not one to get walked on, never have been.

But enough of that brand of blather!

Ready for a polar opposite?? I am DETERMINED to go to a Renaissance fair this year. In fact, the Ohio Renaissance Festival kicks off a month after Spencer is scheduled to vacate my uterus. Is it bad form to take an infant to a Renaissance fest? Don't babies like turkey legs, jousting, and big steins full of mead or ale? Every year I mean to go and I miss out. Enough of this putting things off! That's how things DON'T get done and I don't want to be on my deathbed whining about how I didn't go to a Renaissance fair. Does that sound trivial? Shut up. You can come, too.

I need some pool time.

And I am STILL not satisfied with this flipping layout! GRRRR!

Sometimes I told the truth and sometimes I lied.

Two, count 'em, TWO posts I wrote yesterday just disappeared into thin air! This has never happened before and I have no explanation as to why but it has me all kinds of miffed. Yeah, you heard me...MIFFED! But it's not like they were about anything all that fascinating. Just the usual meaningless and mindless blather. Still, I tool the time to type them. And to spell-check them. And to laugh at them. I've wasted my own laughs! Grrrr.

And now here's something we hope you'll REALLY like!

So, I might be having those Braxton-Hicks faux contraction thing-a-ma-jigs (for the record, the Fish-a-ma-jig from Friendly's is still the most hilarious thing I've ever seen on a menu). Either that or for brief seconds at a time, there is a war being waged in my uterus. Maybe with a mini-Alien vs. mini-Predator.

...

I kind of grossed myself out with that one and feel pretty squirmy.

WTF BLOGGER!?!?! I just blathered a bunch of mind-blowingly interested shtuff and it's gone! GONE the way of the unicorn and the dinosaur and the dinosaur unicorn. I'm giving up for today. My wit is spontaneous. I can't recreate that kind of magic on the spot and certainly not when I feel like doing a round-house kick to my monitor, sending zombie rubber ducks flying to their death (a.k.a. the floor). This is not paving the way for a day full of awesomeness, I'll tell you what!

Like a road, you're somewhere to go.

There is a piece of chocolate coconut cream cheesecake waiting for me in the fridge. But do I really want to start my day with another sugar high? In approximately 75, I'm going to give birth to a tornado. Or a marshmallow.

Yesterday was unexpectedly full and gave me a little bit of a jump start. Recently, I've been feeling a little...well, a little everything, emotionally and physically. Lost, bored, overwhelmed, uncomfortable. But yesterday sort of worked out the kinks a bit.

After my hubby hooked me up with an Iphone (reason #254 that he's pretty cool - he accepts my technology obsessions), I had a 1 hour glucose test at the hospital which was fascinating (but more about that at the baby blog). Once I shook the sugar, I spent the cheddar...had to score a more comfy bikini so I can take advantage of having a pool, bump and all.

John Jackson and I had a late lunch/early dinner/shit talking session and then I unexpectedly ending up at my niece's baseball game...and left there with a breast pump (say WHAAAT?). I'm not trying to give you the play by play of the day, honestly, but it was the baby, friends, family, weather, accomplishment of tasks, etc. that leveled me out.

Don't get me wrong, I like a lazy day more that most people. But the further along in my preggoness I get, the more useless I feel I'll become. I need to fill my days with productive hours while I can. Then when I can't, you'll find me floating the pool.

Life es bueno!

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I hear you say the truth must take a beating.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let's get our rant on, shall we?

1. I am too old for public drunks. Don't get me wrong, I like partaking in shenanigans from time to time, but I'm over being a drunken disaster. At this point in my life, if I was the woman a few rows in front of us at Lady Gaga who was passed out in her $88 seat BEFORE  Gaga even went on, I wouldn't consider it my greatest achievement. Apply that to the woman next to us who smelled like last night's party, and the 4 sorority girls behind us who spilled wine on the poor gay next to me, lost a cell phone, clocked me in my melon, and spoke at volumes that rival me when I'm on my celly. Get a grip, people. There has to be more substance to you than the size of your throbbing liver, though I doubt it.

2. And speaking of Gaga, who I love and adore...there is no excuse for going on stage 90 minutes late when it's a week night, I don't care who you are or where you're from. And if you go on 90 minutes late, at least acknowledge it. Take responsibility for your actions. And wipe that sourpuss off your face. You deserved the boos you got.

3. When is Mariah Carey going to announce the names of her twins?? I am obsessed with names, especially with middles names, and I neeeeed to know! What's the point on holding out? SPILL IT, CAREY!

4. I watched the royal wedding and while Morrissey may have had a problem with it, I enjoyed it. It was like watching Cinderella or something. Almost doesn't seem like real life. Not quite sure why so many people had to bash it. Jealousy? Boredom? I don't know. I don't care. I enjoyed the flash and glitter.

5. I despise the animation in Adult Swim's new cartoon, Super Jail. I will not be watching it, no matter how hilarious it might be.

6. I painted Spencer's nursery yesterday while listening to AFI. I even edged, which I never do. When it was finished, I felt very accomplished. I'm so glad that I'm in a position right now to give him such a rad room (and his OWN room at that). Todd is paying for the crib tonight and then we're on the hunt for vintage Sci-Fi posters and toy robots!

7. OK, so Osama Bin-Laden is dead. How long will militants vs. pacifists be spewing over the subject on Facebook? I want both sides to stop shoving stuff in my eyeballs. Can't we get back to what's REALLY important in this country?? Will Ferrell might shave off Conan O'Brien's BEARD tonight! Now that's what matters to me!

8. Male exotic dancers are creepy.

9. Lots of good shows are coming up (Big Sandy, Reverend Horton Heat, S.C.O.T.S.). I can guarantee that you'll find me at the Horror of 59/Cult of the Psychic Fetus show next Friday and the New Bomb Turks show in June. Oddly enough, both shows coinside with wedding weekends. This means boatloads of fun and new shoes for mama! Pregnant in heels, baby! Or maybe wedges would be safer since clumsiness is my calling card. Regardless, I'm looking forward to getting dolled up and hitting the town.

10. Help me, Obi-Wan. You're my only hope.

Running like a fox to keep up with me.

2 weeks from today, we'll be waking up in New York City! Our hotel has a view of the Statue and we're a block away from where the WTC was. Can't wait. Roadtrips = yum!

Chelsea Handler is weathered. I read the other day that she's only 35 and I almost fell off my chair. She's comedic but her face is a horror show. She's leathery and orange. I discriminate against the orange. I'm not going to lie.

I've been listening to Duran Duran's "Rio" album on a fairly constant basis lately. I recommend it to all. Lyrical geniuses.

We got some really good news out of the blue yesterday, which is the best kind of good news, in my opinion. I was reminded how lucky we are.

Todd told me that he thinks of me where he hears "She's a Beauty (One In a Million Girls)" by The Tubes. I hate that song but the sentiment was sweet. I'll probably start listening to it in a different way now.

Just woke up from a dream that I was in labor. All laboring moms were wearing hockey jerseys but I hadn't gotten mine yet. I hope I got the Penguins or Sharks, of course.

I think I use the phrase "slash her throat" or "slash their throats" too often. For whatever creepy reason, I like how it sounds.

We have a movie date tomorrow to either see Arthur or Your Highness. I don't expect either to blow my mind but I also don't expect either to rot as hardcore as that Hop nightmare the kid and I saw on Tuesday. Regardless, I lurve the movie theater hardcore! But if it's ad nice as the say weather-wise...maybe the zoo? I expect a great Sunday indeed.

Boots! Reveal yourself!

OK, time to start the day off right...by going back to sleep for a little while. Hey, I work hard while simultaneously growing a young man in my guts. I've earned the right to be lazy!!!

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I think that people are the greatest fun!

I am obsessed with menus and knowing what people eat when they go out to lunch and dinner (breakfast can pretty much eat dirt). If anyone says, "Oh, I went to such and such restaurant last night" and doesn't tell me what they ate, I go apeshit bananas. I have to read menus online, even if I won't be dining there. Blue Pointe Grill and Metro are my most recent menu-stalks.  Just wanted to fascinate you right off the bat with one of my many quirks.

Doc appt today. Details, if there are any, later at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

In the 5 year battle of  spring-mounted dashboard ninja that kicks vs.  spring-mounted dashboard ninja that punches, punchy has come out victorious, sending his opponent into the windshield. I thought it was going t o be the kicker all along but what do I know? I know it's time for new dashboard entertainment.

Even though "they" say it's a common symptom of pregnancy, I'm blaming all my recent intense dreams on watching too much Law and Order: SVU. That's probably not the best bedtime programming selection. What's horribly boring that I can watch which will lead to quality, dreamless sleep? That would be aces right about now. My brain needs a break.

Time to be productive. Time to be awesome.

So many stormy nights. So many wrong or rights.

Is it really April? Is this year really zooming by while I feel like I'm standing still, using some fancy video tricks? I'll take the speediness and insanity because then Spencer (and flip-flop weather) will be here sooner...but I don't want RETIREMENT to be here sooner, ya know?

Regardless, welcome April.

I'm laying in bed, slothing it up, trying to conserve every ounce of energy for Memphis Morticians tonight (which my peanut sized brain thought was LAST night). I'm debating going to Cinema Wasteland to get some horror swag for the little man but trying to do both AND get this living/dining room painted AND cleaning Grayskull for a taco fiesta on Sunday will bury me. Ah, the joys of sharing all your energy with an ever-growing parasite! Guess I have to be selective. What will be the most fun??? Fun is where it's at. Fun is where it has always been.

Speaking of fun, after some debate, it looks like our baby shower will be at the 100th Bomb Group/Bomber's Squadron/whatever you want to call it, some time in June. I dig that place and I can't wait to see my girlfriends in one place at one time. I miss all those sexy sleazeballs. Now to register...what the Hell do I need to raise a baby??? Besides patience, alcohol, and a plethora of facial expressions?

Time to put a hurting on a box of Lucky Charms.

So I start a revolution from my bed.

I've rejoined the land of the living, if only in body. And the body part is pretty shaky. My mind is mush, like unused muscle. Everything aches and every breath feels like I'm standing in the frozen tundra attempting to enjoy fresh air. It's not refreshing. It's more akin to having my lungs grated.

But, even for me, there is only so much TV and napping one can do.

Spencer seems relatively unaffected by all this pneumonia/ear infection nonsense. And due to a week of doing nothing (and I mean NOTHING), I am really in tune with his movements. And we had a (one-sided) discussion about how awesome ice-cream is. So if I get nothing out of this horrific experience, at least I got some bonding time with my squirmy unborn...and Todd got an in utero high five. Awesome.

But that's where the awesomeness ends. I can honestly say that this is probably one of the worst illnesses I've had in the past 5 years or so. I just have to suck it up and keep on trucking. Pneumonia tends to hang on for awhile and I should know...this might be the 8th or 9th time my lungs have been ravaged. I'll have to sit down and really due the count sometime.

But for now...

Happy Birthday to my AWESOME MOM!!!!!!!

And Happy Birthday to my fav, Lady Gaga!