Ladies and Gentlemen, let's get our rant on, shall we?
1. I am too old for public drunks. Don't get me wrong, I like partaking in shenanigans from time to time, but I'm over being a drunken disaster. At this point in my life, if I was the woman a few rows in front of us at Lady Gaga who was passed out in her $88 seat BEFORE Gaga even went on, I wouldn't consider it my greatest achievement. Apply that to the woman next to us who smelled like last night's party, and the 4 sorority girls behind us who spilled wine on the poor gay next to me, lost a cell phone, clocked me in my melon, and spoke at volumes that rival me when I'm on my celly. Get a grip, people. There has to be more substance to you than the size of your throbbing liver, though I doubt it.
2. And speaking of Gaga, who I love and adore...there is no excuse for going on stage 90 minutes late when it's a week night, I don't care who you are or where you're from. And if you go on 90 minutes late, at least acknowledge it. Take responsibility for your actions. And wipe that sourpuss off your face. You deserved the boos you got.
3. When is Mariah Carey going to announce the names of her twins?? I am obsessed with names, especially with middles names, and I neeeeed to know! What's the point on holding out? SPILL IT, CAREY!
4. I watched the royal wedding and while Morrissey may have had a problem with it, I enjoyed it. It was like watching Cinderella or something. Almost doesn't seem like real life. Not quite sure why so many people had to bash it. Jealousy? Boredom? I don't know. I don't care. I enjoyed the flash and glitter.
5. I despise the animation in Adult Swim's new cartoon, Super Jail. I will not be watching it, no matter how hilarious it might be.
6. I painted Spencer's nursery yesterday while listening to AFI. I even edged, which I never do. When it was finished, I felt very accomplished. I'm so glad that I'm in a position right now to give him such a rad room (and his OWN room at that). Todd is paying for the crib tonight and then we're on the hunt for vintage Sci-Fi posters and toy robots!
7. OK, so Osama Bin-Laden is dead. How long will militants vs. pacifists be spewing over the subject on Facebook? I want both sides to stop shoving stuff in my eyeballs. Can't we get back to what's REALLY important in this country?? Will Ferrell might shave off Conan O'Brien's BEARD tonight! Now that's what matters to me!
8. Male exotic dancers are creepy.
9. Lots of good shows are coming up (Big Sandy, Reverend Horton Heat, S.C.O.T.S.). I can guarantee that you'll find me at the Horror of 59/Cult of the Psychic Fetus show next Friday and the New Bomb Turks show in June. Oddly enough, both shows coinside with wedding weekends. This means boatloads of fun and new shoes for mama! Pregnant in heels, baby! Or maybe wedges would be safer since clumsiness is my calling card. Regardless, I'm looking forward to getting dolled up and hitting the town.
10. Help me, Obi-Wan. You're my only hope.
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