Friday, June 29, 2007

It felt so good he bought everyone beers!

Something smells fishy and it's not me. I smell like peaches.

Weird occurrence on the way to work today. I was trucking along and running a titch late but whatever. I'm wearing my new apple shirt and my bossom look plentiful so what's a minute or two here and there? Moving on. I saw a giant sign in someone's yard and assumed it was one of those memorials to someone who died in the military. Those seem to be spreading like wildfire these days. But it wasn't one of those, nor a shrine to any person who had died, and it wasn't an advertisment of any sort for a yard sale of what not. But it spooky, creepy, spine chilling poorly spray painted letters, the giant sign gave me the heebie jeebies.


This was a mammoth sign and it really made me uncomfortable. I'm assuming someone hit the dog and left it for dead, high tailing it out of there. If I was that person, I'd find an alternate route because seeing that sign was haunting...and I didn't even kill the damn dog. I don't even like dogs! But it reminded me alot of one of those Creepshow movies where the lady hits a hitchhiker and he keeps showing up everywhere saying, "Thanks for the ride...lady". I assume this sign had the potential to haunt someone. It was eerie with it's drippy spray paint. And obviously this event really hurt these people since they put the biggest, scariest sign in their yard. I think these people probably butcher people in their shed. in peace, Spot.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

You say I'm going to die when you tell me.

Awwwww SNAP!

I've got a busted digit! It's not as bad as it sounds though it is painful enough to make me cry when I'm by myself in my cubicle. Sadly, in my relationship, you don't get a lot of sympathy or help when you're sick or injured. Man, Bill really didn't know who he was falling for, did he? The sickest klutz on the block. But screw him. He can whine about his earaches and backaches and life aches to someone else. He's not getting any more of my good, ol' fashioned compassion.

But back to the break...

The weekend got off to a rocky start. My boyfriend had his period so I gave up my Grand Prix ticket so he could go with a buddy. Never spreads his PMS around his pals. Just his woman. So I turned his frown upside down but inherited one of my own. I was, in turn, supposed to go out with the girlfriend of the buddy and she ditched me. I ended up driving home in a furious rage, having a few cocktails, and falling asleep with the Girls Next Door. Wouldn't have been a bad Friday in general but it SUCKED when the air of being ditched was looming. I could have gone with Bill and the buddy...there WERE 3 tickets. Instead, I stewed and am still stewing. I can hold a nasty grudge.

Woke up with a rather large chip off my shoulder. Verbally tussled with my man over the phone while shopping for pasta salad supplies. Don't think I can ever go to that Marc's again. My guy...he sucks at the whole "cheering up" and "sympathizing" gig. He's pretty self-involved at times...full of himself, if you will. But I knew this from the get-go. Arrrrrrr...this isn't even the point! I'm just blathering on and on.

And this type of blather is hurting my paw.

Went to Tom's (and Texas Pete's and Dennis') birthday par-tay and put on a happy face. I refuse to be a bummer in public. They should give tickets for that and honestly, I have enough people and things in my life that are bummers (please reference above where a friend ditched me when I tried to make things easier and more fun for HER EVENING...pffft). So I had some cocktails, rocked out, posed for photos, goofed off, and...



I'm just doing that for dramatic effect since I know he feels REALLY horrible about the whole thing. And it was an accident! I'm not mad even in the least even if I am in mind-numbing pain today. I kept putting off a trip to see the doc because I kept being told there was nothing that could be done. Olive Garden and a movie did help ease the pain...or mask it for awhile. Bill put a splint on but it was the worst kind, I guess. It was straight rather than curved and hindering my recovery. I learned this last night when I shelled out $50 to learn about chip fractures and splints and hot water soaks and Darvocet. My mitten does look less like a space ship now and more like a burn victim.

But it will all heal up and everything will be gravy. I don't use my right ring finger for a whole lot anyway. It sort of just hang out looking small and skinny. I wish you could see me type! You'd be bent over (and not in a good way) in hysterics. In fact...I need to stop typing. My hand muslces are kaput. Wish me luck in the whole healing process. My mom keeps throwing the word "arthritis" around which is a bummer. And these damn chip fractures and splint dressings are bummers enough.

End trasmission.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Destiny is calling me!

I am experiencing an overwhelming sense of BOREDOM right now. I know that there has to be some down time in life but I don't handle boredom very well. Especially when things have been on such a roll. I've been cleaning my house room by room and weeding out for the big, bad, vacation cash garage sale. I've parted with some things I've never thought I would but I've just accumulated too much...shtuff. And I've been cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. And I've been all in a tizzy getting ready for school (whip out the saddle shoes and short skirt...I'm a school girl again!), meeting with advisors, applying to my program, planning my schedule. So when you're all go! go! go! and then STOP...boredom. It's boring. And I can't stand it.

But here's a dose of excitement you may already know about...

I got two new front teeth on Friday. They didn't use any Novocaine which rots because the itty bitty top portion still containing root and acting as the base for the new pearlies still had FEELING. That part was still REAL! Still LIVING! It was traumatic. And I'm still getting used to my new fangs. It's all weird up in there. He gave the teeth texture because real teeth have texture. And I keep licking the texture. I'm going to lick my gums raw, I'll tell you what.

I guess I should have explained the WHY of this story. I was in a horrible bar fight this week and some bitches knocked out my grill. My teeth should be made of steel with all the calcium I get. It looked like two Chicklets flying across the bar. And blood everywhere, including in one of the girl's faces...where I spit it! I looked like Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel. I was all icky and gummy. Like Grandma. It was a very thug moment in my life but once I got home after the incident, I bawled like a baby.


In the 4th grade, Matt Landy tripped me and I fell knocking out most of my front tooth. It was bonded and everything was A-OK. However, as the years go by, the bond breaks. And the more they replace the bond, the more they have to chip away at the tooth next to it, therefore needing to bond that one as well. And it's just come to a point where both front teeth are pretty fake outside of the tippity top which the bond is built on. Eventually, they will need to be capped.
One of those stories is true. Take your pick!

And all of this stuff is a total boredom cure, for sure!
5.5 hours until I can work out!
17 days until Heavy Rebel!
25 days until Leroy Thompson!
32 days until Dragway 42 and TMBG!
40 days until Indianapolis!
62 days until Miami, Key West, y Cozumel!
68 days until school starts!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I am leaving but the fighter still remains.

It was such an exhausting weekend that I haven't even had the strength to talk about it until now. And even now, I'm getting tired just thinking about that stretch of days. It took me awhile to prepare for our trip to the race and it was waaaaay past my bedtime before I actually sawed wood. There we were in the middle of the night trying to figure out just how to fit ten tons of camping equipment into the Earl Mobile. It was like a clown car. My back window might as well have been none existant.!

I got weighed and measured which was a nice way to start my mini-vacation. Lost a few pounds, 4% of my body fat took a hike, and some inches melted off of my thighs, abs, and waist (which is already small to a goofy degree so I have to change that up a bit). It made me feel so powerful and so accomplished! I worked out and we hit the dusty trail! Pocono International Raceway or bust! And we certainly had some run-ins with "bust" because we got LOST! Or shoudl I say Bill got us lost! We drove 140 extra miles before we finally found the racetrack and then the boiling death continued accumulating.

MORONS! Everyone employed there was half braindead. I could have murdered at least 10 people while we were shuffled around from gate to gate. No, you're camping here. No, you're camping there. I have no idea where you're camping. There is no gate 6. You need to be staged. Blah blah blah blah. By the time we ended up where we were supposed to be and found our camping plot...well...I couldn't crack a beer fast enough, I'll tell you what. But if you think that we could finally relax at this point...we couldn't! We ran out of lighter fluid! This meant no cooking and no fire! FUCK! Or should I say, we sacrificed what fluid we DID have so we could have a fire. We're not genius' by any means.

And nothing got easier. We were shuffled around all the next day while trying to figure out how to get to our seats. Back and forth. Back and forth. You have to go to this entrance. You have to leave the track and walk all the way around. This leads to pit road. How did you even get in here? I was ready to just flip out. There's no other way to describe it. I wanted to FLIP! When we finally get some accurate directions, we discover that we had just been sent on a wild goose chase when our entrance was right in front of our faces! IDIOTS! Them, not us.

So we go to check out the merch trailers and theer are drivers EVERYWHERE! JJ Yeley, Reed Sorenson, Brian Vickers. And HOLY HELL! JAMIE MCMURRAY!!!! I was mere feet away from him, fighting back tears. I was actually star struck. I have pictures to prove just how close to me he was. I screamed "I LOVE YOU JAMIE" and Bill died a little inside. Still, at that point, nothing could bring me down. Not even the rain that delayed teh race 3 hours and eventually forced us to pack up camp and high tail it home. Oh, I'm sorry. That DID bring me down! It was AWFUL! We smelled like wet dogs and wrapped our trip up a day early. We weren't even there 24 hours!JESUS!

But Gordon did win the race by default so I won $230. Rad.

How did we spend our final day off since we were driving home from Pocono? We got a pizza, watched a movie, and crashed. The next day, we hosed off and headed to Hoggy's for lunch. It was supposed to be a pre-cursor to a full day of drinking. Nothing is better than drinking when everyone else is working hard and stressing out. But a mistake was made when Bill decided to try the Hoggy's Challenge. Oh Lord. We couldn't talk to each other through the whole meal because he had work to do. I couldn't even look in his direction without wanting to toss. He ate everything...I can't even discuss what he ate...and got a free t-shirt. The rest of the day consisted of sleeping, moaning, and slothing. I tried drinking but it's not fun alone. Damn you Hoggy's Challenge!

So the weekend is over. I know it sounds utterly awful...and portions of it were. But the quality time was good. The snuggling, the talking, the napping. Just being together and not biting each other's heads off. Jamie McMurray was good...souveniers are always good. Bill is good. Life is good.

But BELIEVE ME...I'm not doing squat this weekend! Cleaning, prepping for the garage sale, Jen's party, vegging, working out. That is the extent of my plans. My brain and body need a break.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

It took a twist but I turned.

I need to start carrying around a little note book with me at all times. I always see or hear odd things that I want to share with all of y'all and I THINK that I will remember them, but I never do. They're always interesting and strange or funny, a nice break from the ramblings of my life. Alas, they go out as fast as they come in, leaving my brain vacant of anything noteworthy. So I'm forced to ramble on.

I have a meeting with the admissions advisor at Tri-C next Thursday. I've decided to bust out the plaid skirts and saddle shoes and go back to school. Knowledge is never wasted, or so says my mom. I did learn plenty in Human Sexuality, after all. But enough about my smarts. I was mulling a few different options over in my head and while Psychology is my thang, I don't want to go to grad school. I want to have a life and not be married to my career. I see how people who are like that turn out and it's not for me. I WANT TO LIVE! I've decided to check out Diagnostic Medical Sonography with the OB/GYN field (so I can talk about woman bits and fetus' all day long). I'm so jazzed about it...and not just because I get to wear scrubs!

I can't join the program until next fall so I'm going to get my pre requisites and shadowing out of the way AND I'm going to get a Phlebotomy certificate (!!!) just to give me a leg up on everyone else. One more skill to tack on. And no, I'm not just doing this so I can take a class called "Intro to Blood Colelcting", though that is a perk that I will brag all about. I can't wait to have fresh notebooks and pens. I'm all a quiver!

Our tickets to the race and infield camping passes finally showed up last night. Like the two loser nerds that we are, we made an extensive check list to make sure we don't forget anything for the weekend. It takes a lot to prepare to go to a race, especially when you're going to be there from Saturday to Monday! I can't wait to hear that vooooooooooom. It's a sound like no other. I know you think I'm a redneck now but it's not like that. It's more about fast cars and gambling, for me. And Jamie. Beautiful Jamie.

And tonight is Pussyfoot practice, per usual. We have two big shows in July and have to plan for them now! We only have 4 practices before we all hightail it to Heavy Rebel and then we have to twist-n-shout when we get back. And as I've said, so much work goes into planning a show these days. It can be mind numbing. I hope we accomplish as much as possible tonight and that I can simultaneously make contributions AND prep for the weekend. I'm a multi-tasker. No sweat.

8 hours until I can work out!
2 days until the Poconos!
9 days until Tessa's birthday jam and Jen's housewarming!
16 days until the Three Stooges Birthday party!
29 days until Heavy Rebel!
37 days until Leroy Thompson!
44 days until Dragway 42!
52 days until Indianapolis!
74 days until Miami, Key West, y Cozumel!

Friday, June 01, 2007

I think we should get together now.

Holy hot dogs! We've entered the 6 month of the year and I haven't evaluated the progress of my resolutions list lately! Sheeeeesh! Lamenting on my successes and failures seems like as good a way as any to celebrate the arrival of June, if I do say so myself. And I DO say so myself because I like to hear myself talk. Or squalk.

2007 Resolution List Evaluation, suckahs.

3. Call Bill on his bullshit - I am a pro at this. It may wind up being my biggest success of the year. And things are perty swanky right now! I'm not going overboard or I would be ignoring resolution #5...but I am speaking up when the time is right. We're in love. And utterly repulsive.

4. Treat others the way I expect to be treated - I'm not going to say I do this all of the time because no one can say that. Everyone has a jerk streak, some bigger and longer than others. I can be Queen Jerk Off. But recently, I've tried to be, ya know, a little less jerky. It hasn't really been that hard and it helps me avoid drama. And you can still be involved with gossip without being a jerk. So, go me!

5. Let the little things go - You have to or you'll go berzerk. However, it's hard to REALLY let the little stuff go. Sometimes it's more like "bottling the little stuff up"...and then you explode like a little girl packed with dynomite. It can get ugly. I'm trying.

7. Find a workout buddy and take some sort of water aerobics class - I joined a gym with 2 (count 'em, 2) workout buddies and I LOVE it! L-O-V-E! I get weighed and measured again on Saturday and I am jazzed. I'm sure I won't be any lighter because I can tell I'm gaining muscle but that's fine by me. I like having tone and definition. Farewell extra long snake arms! Plus I don't get winded as easily which is good...gotta keep that athsma wrangled. I'm feeling great. I wish it was 4:00 so I could be working out right now. Sick, isn't it?

13. Spend more time with my friends - Carol has GOT to be sick of my mug but I don't care. I like hanging with my friends. It's my favorite thing to do. And with all this Pussyfoot action scheduled for the Heavy Rebel...I'm getting some hearty Ol' Kentucky Shark action up in here. Feels good to make memories.

14. Relax! - Championship napper over here! And semi-professional vacationer. We paved the way with Vegas and we'll tie the year up with the cruise. I have a boyfriend whose brain is in knots because he works too hard or too much. It's my job to help him relax and therefore, I have to be able to. The more relaxed you are, without being a sloth, the better you can handle all the garbage that tends to invade life. So do what Frankie says...

15. Get healthier to avoid getting sick so often - Working out, eating better, getting more sleep, laughing more often, drinking water (!!!), handling stress, not smoking, drinking less, no more fast food, farewell to Pepsi. It's all good.

16. Plan some fun roadtrips (Niagara Falls!!!) with fun people - I haven't been able to get anyone on board for Niagara Falls just yet. But I did go to Pittsburgh, and I am going to Poconos and Indianapolis, not to mention Heavy Rebel (how many times CAN I talk about this?) and future visits to Columbus. My car has seen a lot of action this year and I predict alot of miles ahead. The tunes, the talking, the travel. I dig it.

18. Do some home improvements and keep the joint clean - I cleaned the attic yesterday and started in on the basement. We have a garage sale in the works so I need to start weeding. If I EVER live with Bill, we'll need a separate joint for all of my shtuff (or, as it's been suggested, an RV for races that can be parked in the driveway filled with all of my shtuff). We're collectors. I have books and movies and artwork and just plain old weird...stuff. It takes up alot of space. my place comes first. And I'm making headway.

19. Avoid drama - I've cut out a lot of dramatic people from my life so that helps. I hate being all frustrated and discouraged and filled with anger. Drama will NOT help me relax. So I'm avoiding it. Even if it's made me more of a hermit on some occasions, that's alright. I can live with that. I'm not in high school anymore so take your "so and so is mad at so and so" and shove it. Well, tell me about it first (I AM a good listener and I DO love's my weakness) but then shove it.

20. Continue to NOT jog/run and continue to HATE joggers/runners - Enough said. Though I can tolerate those who run in place and running in place in general. I do it when I work out. But still...jogging. Yuck. And jogging suits, good GOD!

21. Go to the movie theater more - I've been to the movie theater more this year than I have in the last few years combined. I have plans to see Knocked Up this weekend. And weeeeee...Ocean's 13 comes out next weekend. I'm a movie maniac. I'm still weepy that I didn't see Kickin' It Old Skool but I guess that wasn't as important to some as it was to me. There's always Netflix!

23. Get more involved in helping the Pussyfoot Girls grow! - And we are GROWING! We're interviewing new girls, planning new shows, buying new merch. And I'm happy to say, I've had my paws in everything. Carol and I were mondo busy with PFG for awhile. That was pretty much all we talked about and dealt with. After our success at the Sacred Pistons show, we're taking June off which is niiiiiiiiiice. Still practicing, just not prancing. We're on our way and we've come a LONG way since April 2005. Hot DOG! And *blush*.

26. Have a super mega fun Vegas vacation! - Done and done!

29. Keep the high five alive! - Some people still get annoyed but more recently, no one has left me hanging. That makes me feel like I've made some headway. The high five isn't just for volleyball games. It's a way of saying, "Good job, buddy" or "That's what I'm talking about" or "I'm glad we finally made concrete plans". It's so versatile. It says so much without saying anything at all. Plus, when you know a person hates the high five but hits you back anyway...they like or at least respect you because it's AGONY for them to do something so gay. Suckahs.

31. Buy more books and read them! - Books are expensive! I just finished "5 People Who Died During Sex and 100 Other Terribly Tasteless Lists". It started off great but trailed off. And I tried to read it on my lunch breaks but a lot of it wasn't food friendly. I'm moving on to "Burton on Burton" which I expect to go with my salads a little better. And my book collections has expanded and will continue to do so. I'm a book worm. What what!