Monday, April 23, 2007

Flossy! Flossy!

My life is so fun right now. It's like riding the Haunted Mansion ride at Disney World with a boy you like...and you're drunk...and They Might Be Giants or some other really awesome music is playing and you're SINGING...loudly. And probably holding hands. And there's also ice cream, probably, and it doesn't make you tubby. That's how fun my life is right now. Mega fun. Mondo fun. Carol said she's trashing all of her New Year's Resolutions and replacing it with happy. I think she's rubbing her resolution off on me. And not in a dirty way, perverts!

And please don't think I'm bragging. I'm just usually wearing my a black hat with a veil and carrying dead flowers while my rain cloud follows me. Melancholy. It still shows up from time to time but that's better than all the time. I'm sure you smell what I'm steppin' in. And I'm also sure my nearest and queerest would much rather roll with me while I'm laughing and smiling and acting silly. No one likes a wet blanket, believe me. I slept under one on New Year's Eve WHILE I had P-monia!

Reasons why my frown turned upside down:

1. Carol The Shoe: I've been spending a lot of time with Carol recently and that ROCKS! She's good to talk trash with and she's a great listener and she doesn't think I have to be happy all the time. We've been doing a lot of work for the PFG together which leads me to my second reason for being slathered in joy.

2. The Pussyfoot Girls: We're REALLY getting it together. We have 5 or 6 shows lined up and some of them are pretty amazing. We've been working harder, getting better, investing more time in the whole thing. We have merchandise on the way and are improving the website and My Space page. Things are looking pretty damn good for us. I'm glad we didn't quit and I'm glad we didn't settle for how we were.

3. Boyfriend: We have a list a mile long of things we want to do this summer. He's been more supportive and of late. I think once the toxic tooth came out, it made all the difference. I was a great nurse. Maybe it finally clicked that I'm not his enemy. I'd much rather eat ice-cream, go bowling, cook out, and goof off than argue any way. He's my Puffin and he digs me. We had a pretty bas-ass weekend that included family stuff, having guests over (I love BBQ and fires and I REALLY love watching the race OUTSIDE), and a Sunday date: dinner and Grindhouse...AGAIN! Weeeeeeeee!

4. Heavy Rebel and tight pants: Heavy Rebel is 74 days away and I'm finally starting to get excited. I'm leaving a day earlier than usual and heading down with The Shoes and Rocko in the Gray Ghost. Driving to North Carolina in a van with these 3? A dream come true. We're sharing a suite and planning to rock the Hell out. And I bought a pair of tight pants just for the occasion. The weight is melting off and I figure, I'll be old one day. I better wear small bikinis and tight pants while I can. And I CAN at Heavy Rebel. Plus...I like getting drunk with my friends, taking pictures of them, dancing, singing, swimming, running amuck. Good bands, great friends, 74 days!

I'm a happy clam with a happy clam. And breakfast is waiting.


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I never had a thing to prove til there was you.

Have an incredible weekend? Check!

I just realized that I saw T-n-C Dynamite 3 times this weekend! WHOA!

Friday I had a date to go to Dave and Buster's and there were shots involved...woo wee! Then Bill and I hit Phoebe's art show at Visible Voice books. He bought art. I didn't and I should have bcause now the piece I want is GONE! But the book store (and the Phoebe) was pretty bad ass and I'm going back next week to load up on new reading material...possibly a book with "poopy" in the title. Tom and Carol were there and the book store supplied PBR and brie cheese. Fantastic. We felt like real trendy scenesters being at an art show in a bookstore with brie cheese...until I couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet.

Saturday there were sleeping pills...and sleeping...and dinner with T-n-C and Johnny Switchblade. There would have been a trip to the movies to see "Grindhouse" but we suddenly all got very old and ended up going home and putting on pajamas. And some of us watched Degrassi: The Next Generation season 4. I really wanted to see "Grindhouse".

SO I DID! ON SUNDAY! With T-n-C and Johnny Switchblade. It was like Saturday part 2. Version 2. Take 2. I don't care if it's trendy to say so, but Grindhouse was the best movie I've ever seen to date. My heart was still pounding full-throttle when it was over. Even my hatred for Rose McGowan was stomped after I saw this movie!!! And Marley Shelton?? SWOON! It had EVERYTHING a good movie should have: trash, kitsch, blood, guts, gore, MONDO GORE, terribly fake guts, terribly fake trailers (Werewolf Women of the SS!), humor, drama, intensity, chicks, nudity, terror, sex, MISSING REELS, the world's best soundtrack AND cast...A-MAZ-ING! I don't care how stupid it is, I'm going to see it again. Hopefully with Carol...again. And hopefully hopped up on cocktails because that is the only thing that could make this movie more unbelieveably bad-ass. You could almost say it was rad-ass. Certainly k-rad.

It was a wonderful weekend which, and I don't want to jinx myself, has thus far been followed up by a loverly week. Puff and I cooked dinner together and raped the television. Yesterday we had the unusual pleasure of spending a Tuesday together so we went out for cocktails with some work folks. I somehow conned him into seeing "Grindhouse" this weekend...WEE! I think the conning was actually me offering to pay for the outting. And I'm down with that. He needs some culture.

And I need to work.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Look for danger. Wind up nowhere.

Have a spooktacular and terrifying Friday the 13th everyone! Spill some blood on the streets. Let the rivers run red. Have a heaping helping of gelatinous brains. Murder a girl taking a shower in the dark. Find some unsuspecting kids getting in on in a cabin and/or tent. Or just eat some ice-cream drenched in fake blood as practice for becoming the next Canadian Dracula.

For some reason, the first thing that popped in my head regarding the date had nothing to do with a deformed man in a hockey mask and a summer camp filled with fashion challenged, horny teens. Initially, I thought about cocktails. Then I thought about how Oliver Peck is obsessed with the number 13 so every Friday the 13th, Kat von D gets a 13 tattooed on her somewhere. Not that I'm in to Kat von D as much as I'm into the date but she has one on her earlobe and I think it's adorable. And I mean adorable. It's cute. Happy Friday the 13th Oliver and Kat.

To keep with the theme, let's talk about blood-n-gore. Bill's face swelled up like Sloth from "The Goonies" due to an abscessed tooth. He was in unbelieveable amounts of pain so I had to play nurse. I also got to see a cereal bowl full of blood on the bedroom floor which doesn't happen every day. I only looked at the bowl for a split second but it was long enough to see bloody strings of infection swimming around in it. Delicious!

So the abscessed tooth has gone to tooth Heaven (and if you know me, you know teeth out of the mouth TERRIFY ME), the swelling has gone down, and the agony he suffered is subsiding. I've truly never seen anyone in so much pain...especially such a tuff guy! So respect your teeth or they'll come back to bite you in the face! There's a horror movie right there...disrespected teeth attack a small and toothless town without flouride. I'm all a quiver!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Well the boy's not right in the head.

Happy Birthday, Hef! Who loves ya, baby?

I officially hate Easter along with every other holiday that I previously hated. I don't care if it's the day Jesus cracked out of his Easter egg and was born. I'm over it. But I'm all about the Jigsaw and seeing Miss Firecracker live. A-maz-ing. Mind-blowing. Vagina-shaking.

I did get an Easter basket which was a little bit of a stunner. And it was beautiful. It had 4 stuffed multi-colored bunny Peeps, Goobers, Snow Caps, an M&M egg, a Tony Stewart air freshener, a Jamie McMurray car, a new skeleton key (R.I.P. old one...sniff sniff), a Miller Lite t-shirt and hat. It's fun to get an Easter basket. It was a treat.

I thought I'd have a lot more to ramble on about today but no. The Jigsaw was an amazing time, Saturday was low key and involved a lot of sleeping, and Easter welcomed me with a flat tire and a boyfriend with a bad attitude. But I'm looking forward. Today is pay day so some bills can get paid, it's Hef's birthday so I can eat cake if I want to, and The Pussyfoot Girls are rocking the Beachland next month with Southern Culture On the Skids.

Life isn't too bad while at the same time rotting hardcore. Go figure.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I know what comfort you are.

I smell like a Hall's. I'd almost rather smell like a foot. Or the foot or a skunk. I'm a big fan of the metholyptussy smell of a Hall's but my throat feels like I've been washing down razor blades with high-proof Vodka. Things have been so dandy recently that it would just figure that an illness is headed in my direction. I'm trying to think positive and work all the preventative measures but all I can think about is the bed I just crawled out of and the Chinese chicken soup with extra, extra noodles that I slurped down last night. I'm really not a good sick-o.

Outside of the sore, stiff, icky, sneezey...I had a gnarly past few days. My Friday get-together was more than I could have imagined since an impromptu improv sing along busted out! Miss Firecracker even sang a few ditties. The food was great, the company was better, and the beer was a-flowin'. I slept in and I slept well, even if I did sleep alone (it happens when boyfriends have the sick-os).

Some might say I wasted my Saturday but I say I embraced it like a gay man does a fur coat. I slept in, I ate lunch, I raped the DVR and the Netflix, I slept some more, I had dinner, I got a package from with 7 movies in it (I wish Meg-Dog and I still talked to I could say "Todd Sparrow" and someone would care), I vegged, I robotted-it-up, I slept some more. It was pretty much exactly what I needed. I didn't leave the house! I didn't shower! I didn't even poop! Rock!

Sunday was a full on adventure. It was one of the best Sundays I've had since Becky lost her marbles and moved to C-Bus. I played Easter Bunny and dropped off some baskets for Bill's kiddies. Sure, I may have been move Playboy Bunny that fluffy bunny but they got candy and toys so...rock, right? Then I had brunch with mi familia because my mommy recently turned 6-0! She had a good time and that's what mattered. I had a goat cheese and asparagus omlette, and that was pretty important, too. After a brief visit to my castle, I met the Shoe-Lanes and Switchblade for tomato basil soup and "Blades of Glory". SNOWFLAKE! Fantastic. I headed over to Bill's where we had a few cocktails, watched the tube, and mussed the sheets. *blush*

And even though I got zero to no sleep and was dragging all day at the place that employs me, Monday was pretty swell, too. And Mondays are usually the equivalent of getting vaccinated (maybe that doesn't sound bad but I HATE vaccinations...weep) or having digestive issues in public. It consisted of television, Chinese chow, and lots of laughing. Good times!

But now I smell like a Hall's. Wah.