Thursday, August 28, 2008

Tell me that you'll wait for me.

You know who's pretty? Pretty as a picture? Pretty as a button? Phoebe Marie Nelson. She's just about as perty as a strawberry. Or a slice of cheesecake. Just deliciously beautiful, even after ditching her trademark bright-red locks. And you know what else? She's just so damn talented! All her Munnys and Dunnys and cut-n-paste artwork and Shrinky Dink necklaces of weaponary and poisons. Yep. That girl is oozing talent and creativity out of every pore. Beautiful and talented. Am I going on and on about how delightful Phoebe is because she recently subscribed to this here blog? Perhaps. But that doesn't make the above rant any less true! Phoebe is TITS and you should feel lucky just to have her throw up in the same room as you. There. I said it. Have a lovely day, Phee-Bizzle.

Did anyone else notice that it's hoodie weather? WEE!

Super soon, and I mean SOON, it will be the start of my fun-n-fan-fucking-tastic four day weekend and I am so super psyched that my boobs feel engourged! My dance card if FULL for the next four days! Tonight I have to pack for our roadtrip and get all the good grooming out of the way...wax, shave, mani/pedi, chick stuff. Tomorrow I have some shopping and banking to do, an appointment with Anna Banana to whiten the skunky stripe (we'll get to white in time...I know it!), a pit-stip to the Shoe Lanes, and then...*GASP*...we are GHOSTS! When we get back on Sunday, I'll have time to max-n-chillax before going to see "a singing, dancing, pantless bunny" and Erin's beeeeeeeautiful face at Now That's Class. Yes, I said it. Now That's Class. The Monday, the day that pats me on the back for all my laboring, begins my hermitism for the rest of the year. I will clean the spare bedroom. I will spackle nail holes in my room. I will spend no money. I will drink n0 beer. I will stick to my guns. What a weekend!

Enjoy your clambakes and sock hops, party people!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I will make it up to you. I promise to.

Am I giving up? Giving in? Even giving a fuck anymore?

There are a lot of things I am super psyched about but before I can start jumping up and down in a fit of hyperactivity, I have to have a little pity party. Actually, pity party isn't even the right term but I don't care enough to come up with something creative and better fitting. I'm in some sort of rut recently and carrying (ha!) a lot of stress in my hands. Best way to sum it all up? I'm just not happy. Period. My best friend isn't happy so he's going to pack it all in and leave town. I don't have that option so I need to make things better where I am. Work with what I've got. And I've got potential.

A major perk (get your airplane vomit bag ready, suckahs, boyfriend mush ahead) is that everything is boss in my relationship so I have someone to lean on while my brain is being rewired. In fact, we've been on the same page about a lot of key things recently (saving some dough, cutting down on money-wasting activities, budgets-n-stuff...we're not the Rockafellers, yo) which is comforting. And we've managed to have a lot of fun (chillaxing with friends, chillaxing with each other) despite my recent emo-ness. It's goot to have a boyfriend that's a buddy. My goal is to really tighten the belt to build up some savings, improve the credit (stupid greedy exs), and start building a future for us. Not to mention that I want to get back to being a work out MACHINE! He's behind me and WITH ME 100% so I'm going to kick major ass and re-evaluate where I stand on December 31st...and that night, I will party my face off as a reward for working so hard. I think I'll start 2009 off feeling pretty good about what I've improved on.

Maybe I'm not in such a rut! I have a plan! Onward.

A close friend have MAJOR surgery yesterday and came through it with flying colors. I'm happy and relieved. And I'm also proud of how well he and his wife handled everything that was thrown at them. Total bad asses, both of them. Hopefully none of my friends or their loved ones have to go through anything like this again. Horrible. But we're celebrating! Life is good! We went out and celebrated with a few beers on a bar patio last night (I heart bar patios and might not be seeing them for awhile once my penny-pinching life-style kicks in on Monday). But BEFORE Monday hits...

It's almost time for Todd and I to blow town! About 49 hours left in the countdown. 49 hours sounds a lot more tolerable than 4 days, or a week, or a week and a half! We're hitting the road and leaving any baggage (but not LUGGAGE) and drama at home! I'm thinking of turning my celly off for most of the trip so once again, if you're planning on having a crisis or I'm your "in case of emergency" person, I will probably fail you. And you'll have to fogive me! I've been looking forward to this trip and I deserve it. WE deserve it! We work hard. We're good people. We love each other and are good to our friends and family. And starting Monday, we're going to be hermits for the rest of the year. Time to cut loose...and there's no one I'd rather get silly with.

Fuck my rut. Life is good.

Monday, August 25, 2008

I'll have to pack my things and go!

This weekend, according to Todd, was "uneventful but good". That's the best way to describe it and I couldn't do any better myself. We spent a lot of time together and didn't kill or injure ourselves, each other, or anyone else, innocent bystandard or not, so I consider it a success. My favorite part? Banana pancakes in bed, no doubt. But there's not much to say about "uneventful but good" weekends unless you want to hear about the Lorain County Fair and my first tractor pull or antics at the Embassy Suites bar or Sunday afternoon hand massages and movies on the couch. Yeah...I didn't think so.

104 hours until Todd and Lacey Escape Ohio! YEEHAW!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Light up a cigarette. Take it to bed.

When I get home...immidiately when I get home...I am going to wash my face in ice-cold water, put on the most comfortable pair of pajama pants I own, pour a tall glass of grape juice, pop in Family Guy or some other mind-numbing cartoon and take some Advil PMs. No. Make sweet LOVE to some Advil PMs. I don't want to eat, or think, or function like an adult. All I want to do is fight my heavy eyelids as I giggle hysterically until I pass out. Then I want to wake up every so often and feel the warm-n-fuzzy feeling that Advil PMs give, roll over into a new position in the pillows, and drift away again. So if you're planning on having some sort of crisis or I'm your "in case of emergency" person, I will fail you today because I will be in an indefinite coma.

Thank you and good night. Literally.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Don't know when I'll be back again.

Pack your bags full of lingerie and weaponry! We're hittin' the dusty trail just like we would a disobedient wife or a red-headed step child! Like that man with the French braids that can't pay his taxes because he spends his money on "the dope"...we can't wait to get on the road again! Can you feeeel the excitement coursing through my veins and the tension in my typing fingers? If I had a tail, I'd wag it but I don't so I'll just have to hump something until I am SPENT! A chair leg, perhaps. Or my travel companion. As The Pixies once said...or actually said many times in a melodic way...OH MY GOLLY! We're going on a road trip, son!

There's a holiday weekend right around the corner well-stocked with clam bakes and sock hops for us to attend, being as popular as we are. Herman's Hermits (who I really only like for 'Henry the 8th' cause if you drink every time they say HENRY, you'd be on your way to Drunk Town via the Buzz Express) were on the weekend agenda. Just for kicks-n-thrills, I threw the idea of a weekend adventure onto "the idea truck" and POW! A road trip was conceived and we're just glowing about the news.

Here's the bottom line, y'all. We've been running around like those KFC chickens that are engineered and just have brain stems, not heads. I used to tell my sister that they stir the gravy with the brain stems to give it more flavor. Terrible, and not at all sensitive. Regardless...every weekend has been jam-packed which, eventhough those weekends usually consisted of rocking out and chugging beers, is really stressful when they're all smooshed together. And yeah, we'll have to pack bags (but we don't have to impress anyone...everything I pack might be from Victoria's Secret!) and sure, we have drive a few hours (but it will be just the two of us and we can hold hands and jam tunes). But how many chances do you get to just shirk your responsibilitier and skip town with the person you're batty about? That's what I thought, bitches.

Where are we going? It's a top secret location out of state so someone will have to be responsible for Cleveland while we're gone. And don't try to reach me unless you have the hottest gossip or a genuine emergency. Chances are my phone will be off. Hey...that annoying little sucker might not even make it out of the car if I'm feeling super independent! And I thank everyone for their Labor Day weekend invites and hope your functions are still mind-blowing and head-turning despite our absence. Am I full of myself today? Nah...I'm just super-psyched, pumped, jazzed, and any other descriptive word I commonly use that ends in -ed. Stay tuned.

Monday, August 18, 2008

A love like ours is love that's hard to find.

"I'm Going To Jail", or whatever it's actually titled, by Struttin' Cocks has been in my head, on repeat, since Saturday night. Unfortunately for me AND my brain, the only words I know are "I'm going to JAIL". If something doesn't trip the switch soon, I'm going to have to call Sean and have him sing it to me. Break the cycle.

So what can I say about the weekend? Risky.

Friday, I accompanied Jim to Tattoo Faction. While there, I got to see Bobbi Socks' engagement ring before the big public proposal which made me feel powerful and involved. What a ring-a-ding-ding! There were tattoos and there was steak-0n-a-stone and there was shit talkin' and gossip. It was a good way to spend my day off, I'd say. Weasel may have disagreed since he went to bed mega-early, like pre-early bird special! I ordered Chinese food and my fortune cookie said I would have some sort of uncoming happiness and excitement. Stupid cookie!

Saturday...I'm going to be ultra selective about what I say regarding Saturday. There are things I just don't feel like remembering right now or for all of eternity. Regardless...I eventually made it out the door and to the Madison car show but I missed Joey proposing to Bobbi Socks (they did make a pit-stop at my digs so I got to hug-n-congratulate them in person). I eventually met up with friends. I eventually had shots of whiskey. I eventually learned that the motherfucking Heptanes cancelled on us AGAIN. I eventuakky went home to stop my head from spinning.

Honestly and selfishly...I didn't want to go to the show. My head and my heart were somewhere else all together and my fists were wherever the Heptanes were, beating them to death. I didn't even shower and I didn't drink when I got there and I hid...a lot. I will totally high-five Karen and I for our "shark and shark-attack victim" outfits and I will pretty much hump Carol's leg for filling in for the recently engaged Bobbi Socks. Sadly, there was a CD player malfunction and we only made it through 3 songs. Secretly....thrilled! My head was NOT screwed on. I was pretty much absent but sometimes you have to push through for others. My little silver shark Karen was psyched so I did feel rotten for her...and for the work Carol put in last minute. I didn't feel bad when I ordered my third Coke and was in bed pumped full of Advil PMs before midnight.

Yesterday was a good old fashioned, lazy Sunday. I did things here-n-there around my digs, I went and cleaned up a mess I made at The Sac, I had a late lunch and some convo with the Shoe Lanes, and I crashed on my couch with the Family Guy box set. I woke up to the Weasel saying "Baaaaby" in just the way I like, prodding me to come up to bed. How could I argue with that face, I ask you? Sunday was probably the best day of the weekend since I got to keep my brain turned off. I could use a week full of Sundays. I could at least use 5 more hours of sleep and someone to grocery shop for me.

So that's that. The week is just beginning. Sigh.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Think of all the good things we can do.

I was just blabbing on and on about the almost mind-blowingly insane amount of potential this weekend has to blow my mind...but I got bored. From the minute the weekend kicks in until I am dragged kicking-n-screaming to clock back into the grind...mind-blowing. I know it. Any fancy adjectives I can throw in there won't change a damn thing. So...aloha!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The arena is empty except for one man.

Todd is feeding off my improved outlook on life. We're psyched.

I'm not going to lie or sugar-coat anything...I was thinking dirty all day yesterday. I couldn't wait to clock out and get these mits on my diesel drivin' daddy. After a semi-smutty welcome home in the kitchen, Todd said there was a surprise for me on the bed (of course, I was thinking...smutty). I'm not super keen on surprises but I DO love treats! And this was certainly something to log for posterity. He followed me up they stairs as I raced to find...a stack of shirts and a bag of various other articles of clothing...underwear, socks, t-shirts. He's more than just a toothbrush and coffee pot now. HE STARTED TO MOVE THINGS IN! I was so pumped that we made out right there on top of the clothes. That's how we do things at our house.

I started preparations for 2 major upcoming events.

1. Eventhough it is 4 months away, I have started to plan the New Year's Eve party that will take place at the Ol' Kentucky Corral. The party at my digs for New Year's Eve 2005/2006 was legendary. In order to surpass something of that magnitude, well, it take careful planning to ensure everyone has a memorable time. And it takes MONEY! Time to start squirrling my nuts...winter is coming. I have already booked Miss Firecracker One-Woman Band and am scouting for one or two more forms of entertainment. God, the chaos that is a party at my place. I feel all warm-n-fuzzy...and hungover...just thinking about it. And the guy I get to kiss at midnight? Amazing.

2. I am going to be 30 on a Saturday in February and what better place to turn 30 but my favorite place on the planet, LAS VEGAS! I've started to rally some of my V.I.Peeps to get an idea who rules and who clearly does not. I'm not asking BOATLOADS of people so dont' feel left out. I just want to be with people I'm majorly close to. Travel in large groups makes it so hard to coordinate anything and you don't really get to enjoy the people you're with. I'm going to enjoy turning 30. I thought I'd be marry with kids by now but then again, I did a TON of things that I NEVER thought I'd do and have had a pretty amazing and not-at-all boring life. I'm looking at 30 as just the start of another decade to be awesome in. And I'm going to start being awesome with a cocktail and twenty bucks on 17!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Cover me in kisses, baby.

Ooh la la! The most fun I've ever had with pants on?!?

That would be quite a statement to make and I think I feel secure enough to make it about last night. We dubbed it "Make Out Monday". Sidebar: I have this saucy little habit of naming really memorable frisky moments between Weasel and I. It started with "Make Up Thursday", followed up "Drunk Tuesday", and recently we had "Sexy Saturday". Yesterday...totally "Make Out Monday". And totally the most fun I've ever had with pants on since I hit adulthood. Did you say Va-Voom?!? Va-Voom indeed!

So without getting graphic and making all y'all wash your eyeballs off with soap, I'll just continue to blather with slightly veiled references. Blathering is what I do. It's what I live for. Regadless. So I instituted a new attitude and outlook on life and it paid off major last night! I had a hot date scheduled for Chinese food, beer and a request for a lot of kissing. And there you have it! You forget how great kissing is until you're doing it! And you kiss for hours and can't believe you don't do this more often. Kissing is super intimate. And fucking HOT. You're so revved up, you start pouring your heart out and he's pouring his heart out and then you kiss MORE and you kiss HARDER. And then when you wake up, you're greeted with morning kisses and you plan for MORE kissing later on. Oh MAN!

I feel 16. I think I fell in love all over again!


Monday, August 11, 2008

I'd rather be sick of you.

I'm going to give Mother Nature a much deserved high five because she certainly has blessed up with some beautiful days lately and I am going to lap up every last scrap of good weather. It's been light hoodie weather which does NOT make me want to kick the world in the tenders! Are you tossing your cookies due to my waxing poetic about my good mood? Yeah, I'm in a good fucking mood and if you want to whip one out and piss all over it, you can try, but you'll fail. I'm laughing everything off!

I've been feeling sort of edgey and prickily for the past few weeks. No energy, no appetite, no ability to keep ANYTHING in my stomach, no will do to much but sloth. My physical nastiness put me in automatic attack mode. I was not pleasant in the least but people were putting up with me. High fives, y'all. Then Saturday morning, I woke up feeling like a new person, but still being the same awesome me. A million bucks! And since my body is feeling better (and slightly smaller), I'm focusing on my brain and keeping things chill up there.

I decided this last night...I've always been a relatively "don't give a fuck, just want to have fun" gal with a few mushy spots here and there reserved for stupid girlish emotions. And that's how I want to live right now. So I'm going to! And I already feel all Tony the Tiger and shtuff. I've been flirting with Todd all morning like we just met. I kicked back with Potsie (and Switchblade) last night and had beers/cocktails, discussing the bright future ahead for PFG. Problems get fixed! Nothing is unsolveable! I should enjoy my days-n-nights. I should rock the fuck out...and I will. According to Jen, Rock-n-Roll Lacey is back and she's ready to F.S.S.U.

I whispered filthiness to Valeria Golino in my dream last night.

The Heptanes show is Saturday and the Pussyfoot Girls are struttin' as a 3-piece. I keep calling us a 3-piece combo, eventhough it makes us sound like pieces of chicken. I'd like to be the breast. Ba-GAWK! Anyway, we're very sad to see Queen La Tata go but that little chickie has to spread her wings and fly. She's got a life! She's got other goals and amibtions! The 3 of us are still ready to wear those short shorts and tight tops and get goofy for a little while longer. Hopefully she'll be in the crowd cheering us on. Oh...did I mention THE HEPTANES??? I better bring extra panties. Struttin' Cocks and Lords of the Highway will blow your minds, too, there.

I have a date tonight. I was promised a lot of kissing. And beer!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

A mission for me and me only!

I love fireworks. I'm not really sure why but I love them, especially the really big and full ones that seem to explode outward and drip down. They are especially perty when they are silver or gold, which they usually are. We saw some fireworks over the weekend when we went to Night Under Fire at the racetrack and I was pumped. I haven't been feeling well so I wasn't really psyched to drive all that way and be outside but it turned out to be a really great night. I am too tired to use any fancy adjectives. I'm sorry.

And there's something right there...I am EXHAUSTED to the point of hot tears! It first started out as genuine lack of sleep since I was glancing at the clock every hour and tossing-n-turning like mad. Now it's morphed into sleeping all the time and still not having enough energy to function during the day. It's been a few weeks since I stopped drinking during the week (to be honest, I've only really had a few PERIOD since then), I lost a few pounds, I stopped eating late at night...I thought I'd feel BETTER! I feel like a slug. Getting out of bed this morning was a total ordeal. Blech.

As I've previously stated, bad things are happening to good people all around me. I want them all to know I'm thinking about them and I'm in their corner and I'm giving the "thumbs up" or high fiving or whatever they need. I don't know what else to say. All of their individual situations suck majorly and suddenly my problems seem pretty small (still driving ME bananas, but they are miniscule in comparison). I hope the tides turn for everyone soon. And I hope I'm there serving you umbrella drinks and appetizers when they do. Love all your guts.