Wednesday, April 30, 2008

And this last mile, I travel with you.

Starting blogs is always awkward. Like the first time you have sex with somebody. How do you jump right in there without making an ass-hat of yourself? The first time I had sex with the last person I had sex with is a little blurry. The second time I had sex with the last person I'm going to have sex with was REALLY blurry. But the third time...mind-blowing! So the beginning is iffy and shaky and scared and all sealed up and ready to BURST! But by the end, you're lubed up and pretty much a pro. I have no idea why I decided to phrase it all like that. I was going to use juicier, nastier, filthier terms but I held back. No need to make you toss cookies straight from your stomach acids into your pretty laps. I'm a rambler today.

OH! Here's something that will make you puke up a lung...

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND! Fuck. It's incredible. I've never felt so alive. I know you shouldn't base how alive you feel on another human being. You should probably base it on a functioning brain and a beating heart. Actually...just the beating heart part. It's really all you need. Regardless, I was sort of Frankensteining it through life the past few years and today...POW! I realized I am totally and completely alive and in love. I'm appreciating things so much more. I'm laughing harder and more than I have in a long time. I want to take any negativity I have and turn it into something positive...because that's what Todd deserves. He's giving me a second chance at life, in a way. I want to make sure every second he spends with me knocks his socks off. Cause damn...he knocks mine off the second he walks through that door. I don't want to be some cheerleading sap-ass but how did I get so lucky?? My breath is taken away daily. Rad.

I'm psyched about so many things besides Todd but honestly...I can only focus on how jazzed and happy I am right now. I feel like I'm in junior high but without all that ridiculous period and puberty nonsense. I promise to give you more content later because a lot has happened and you want in on it, beieve me. Love all of your guts!

Friday, April 18, 2008 a snake.

Robotic wolves? Robotic zombies? SOMETHING is trying to free itself from my chest cavity. It feels like my entire thoracic region has been pounded on by something stronger than fists but less aggressive than sledge hammers. And oh the rainbows of junk that I'm coughing up every 5 minutes. It's a beautiful and some what horrific vision that just needs to STOP! And while I'm dying to get better...or dying from whatever heinous disease I've procured this week...I'm sort of hoping to keep this sort of raspy/squaky thing going on in voice box. My fella likes it. Raspy voice brings on the kissing. Ooh la la! And...cue the vomitting. The vommitting of rainbow colored junk from my fucking LUNGS!!!

To talk of happier and more nude times...everyone who is anyone and even people who are nobody should come to The Sac tomorrow for The Pajama Jamboree! Sac shows are my most favorite thing to do, second only to the lap sitting and Bouncing Souls listening that sometimes goes down. The Sac gives me a chance to just be someone else for awhile and rock out, which, let's face it, I was born to do! And in my pajamas no less!!! Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE pajamas more than I love licking blood off my victim's faces. All my friends are there and everyone leaves their baggage at the door. Pussyfoot Girls leave sweat on the stage. Some people leave blood on the streets. All I know is that I love it...more than I love general anesthetic. Anyone who knows me also knows that I have a problem with that. We all have our vices.

So...blather. I'm in a generally bitchin' mood today and I don't know if it's because of the weather or my fucking fox of a boyfriend or all my awesome friends (especially, most recently, Phoe-Bizzle) or the prospect of how rad-ass the Sac show will be. I know it's not my illness. That's the right hot poker up my pie right now. Hopefully one more night of maxin' and chillaxin' will have me up on my paws and ready to dazzle you with my cute-as-a-button-ness. I'm going all Chrissy Snow from Three's Company tomorrow night. You don't want to miss it. And you don't want to miss me getting HIGH FIVE tattooed on my knuckles. I love all you sluts and your after-sex smells.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Can't remember last time you felt like livin.

I'm seriously starting to think that my body is cursed. I'm sick...AGAIN! Luckily, this time, none of my guts and/or organs are trying to escape. But my head feels like a balloon and I'm waiting for it to take flight. Yesterday at work, I was fortunate enough to have to rap a full sized spar in 3 pieces which meant a whole lotta bubble wrapping. It doesn't take a genius to bubble wrap. It was heavenly. I didn't have to think or speak or do anything. Just pop, pop, pop that bubble wrap! Today, unfortunately for all, there are things to be done so I can't turn my brain off. I have 4 short days to buck up before the Pajama Jamboree, which I have really been looking forward to. Send soup! Send meds! Send a shoebox full of twenties!

On the upside, since there is NO UPSIDE to fluid constantly running our of your face and down your throat and various colors of junk being hacked up...I could just vomit after saying all that. Now what the HELL was I saying? Oh yeah! Upside! My boyfriend could kick your boyfriend's ass...but he wouldn't because he has just the right balance of sweet-n-tuff. I have never felt so lukcy and fortunate. Phoebe says she has no doubt that if we ran off tomorrow and got married we'd be together forever. How BOSS is that!?!?! K-RAD! I was worried that this might have all happened too speedy-like and that it would end up exploding in our faces with damgerous results! But Carol says WHEN IT'S RIGHT, IT'S RIGHT! She knew the night she met Tom that he was the one. I felt the same...about Todd, not that Tom isn't one handsome devil. Future is looking bright!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Understand...this is just the beginning.

The most recent episode of "Cleveland Needs Phoebe" was titled "Lacey's Best Day Ever" and guest stared ROCKO! In all actuality, it should have been a 3-parter because it was really 'Lacey's Best Weekend Ever". In fact, the good stuff just keeps on trucking along! I'm sure you don't want to hear the play-by-play of my weekend but you also don't want to hear people talk about wanting to cry tears of job during anal. But you do. So sit back, relax, and be jealous of my killer weekend. And of my friends, those dirty, drunk tramps-n-sluts!

Friday was just a blur from start to finish. I RUSSSSSHED home from work to finish my outfit for the Rock-n-Roll Dance Party at The Sac, had to finish my solo dance (SMUT CITY), eat and transform into Patti Cake. It was a lot to cram in to just a few short hours and it wasn't the sort of cramming I wanted to do...SPRING FEVER. But the dance party was by far my favorite Sac show. I'm not going to gush-n-gush, but my friends and my hot boyfriend are mind blowers. Phoebe surprised me with ROCKO and my panties needed changing. I had fun on top of fun on top of fun. My fella drove me home after I danced all night and we...played Twister. Or something kinda like it...many, many, many times. Lucha VA VOOM, I must say.

The next morning, the sun was out, and I was madly "in like". We went to The Sac to pick up some props and parted ways. I met up with Phoebe Jeans and Rocko for more food than I could possibly shake a stick at and I laughed uncontrollably the whole time. And said "anal" and "vag". A lot. Then we decided to just spend time together and had THE BEST DAY EVER! We went to Shoparooni (I bought a stuffed moustache), drove around Lakewood looking at big digs, got ice-cream, toured the Metroparks, went to the park and sat on the pier. It was phenominal. I loves those 2 kids so much and nothing made me happier than spending quality time with them. It's good to have Phoebe back in my life. And Rocko...heart-go-throb. Then it was another mad dash to rock out with the PFG in Painesville. It was the first time Weasel had seen us since we became the hot tickets in town. And it was RAD! He was supportive and good to my pals and everything just felt right! MADLY "in like". MADLY! And those PFG...I love those saucy bitches! Especially that Carol High Hair. What a fox.

And Sunday was ALSO incredible. I made serious tracks all over town with Tom and Carol! Went to The Sac (can't get away from that joint), went to The Mission, ate some lunch, drank some beers, filled hours with ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chatter and malted hopps-n-barely. Amazing. And tied the whole weekend package up with movies-n-beer with my guy. It was what I needed. In fact...I just have to stop talking about it. It was that good. I feel warm in the cheeks.

At another time, I'll tell you why last night was the "BEST SOMETHING I CAN'T REALLY TALK ABOUT ON THE INTERNET". And then I'll get sweaty and blush.