Monday, May 16, 2011

Hardly recognize simple things anymore.

I am not going to be satisfied or feel accomplished  this morning until every shred of this horrific, chipped, cheap-ass, fuscia nail polish has been scratched off. I'm working with much fervor and determination. The same amount of determination that will go into the letter I'm writing the cosmetic company that manufactures said nail polish to tell them their product is rank and I want cash back in my pocko!

I may have gotten up on the wrong side of my coffin this morning.

I'm going to mark the weekend a success. Consider it marked. I don't really need to give you the play by play. Just know that everything I said I was going to do (show my face at Peabody's which was F-U-N and the fetus' first Fetus show, hit a wedding with Todd which made me feel very close to him...he was an attentive husband), I did and I did with as much gusto as I could muster. For the record, I don't particularly like the word "gusto" or "muster". In addition to planned plans, I had lunch with John Jackson yesterday which involved lots of face-stuffing (by me) and chattering.

One thing we chattered about was having a dream (not MLK style). Like knowing EXACTLY what you want to do...particularly career-wise...and doing it. Neither of us really feel like we have a career, so to speak. And there was never really a time in my life where I was like, "THIS is what I want to do when I grow up" or "THIS is what I'm going to go to college for" or "THIS is what I'm passionate about". The only thing that came close was that in my very young youth, I wanted to be a teacher. I spent many, many, many years of my childhood playing school. I would've been a good teacher. Ask any one of my stuffed animals.

I blame you, Project Runway. This self-analysis is YOUR fault.

I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I'm pretty sure there will never be that thing that clocks me in the head like a brick. But I do know this...my job affords me my lifestyle. Not that it's anything flashy. I just mean that I'm not living dollar to dollar. I can take my family on vacation, I can go out to dinner, I can buy new clothes, I can make sure the cupboards are stocked, I can throw my step-son a birthday blow out. And I can do all theses things thanks to my j-o-b.

When it comes right down to it, it's like, "Do I want to have my dream JOB that I love going to every day and makes me outrageously happy and fulfilled?" or "Do I want to have an extremely awesome and adventurous life with my family that makes me outrageously happy and fulfilled?". It would be nice to have both but it doesn't happy for many people, does it? So I'll take the second. I'd rather have the life I've dreamed of that the job I've dreamed of...because I've never had a dream job so I'm not really missing out. And I LIKE my job. So I've got it pretty good.

Not saying if I could be a circus performer I wouldn't ditch it all in a second!!!

So there's a hearty dose of introspection to start your week off right. Muah!

1 comment:

Estelle said...

While growing up I was raise under the impression that you needed to have a great job and to make lots of money. That you had to work very hard to have your dream job. Now that I am older, I realize that you do not have to build your life around your job, you make you job fit in your life, Because we dont live to work, but work to live.