Friday, June 20, 2008

Let me know...if you really want to go.

This week I have learned 2 very valuable lessons. They seem very "Lifetime Movie of the Week" but they're important lessons. They are extremely basic and fundamental but sometimes it takes a while to get the basics. Once you've mastered them, the rest is cake. Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun. I think I heard that in a Brittney Murphy movie. Regardless, here's what I've got so far on my road to be a full fledged grown-up and well rounded happy human being:

1. I am WAY stronger that I thought I was.

I have always thought I was a pretty, fairly strong person. I have my weak moments, everyone does. But overall, I have survived some pretty rough stuff in my 29 years. I've come out on top. I've held my head high. Especially after my divorce. Once an ex-boyfriend of mine told me I was the strongest person he has ever met (because I survived 4 years of terror with him). It is the greatest compliment I have received to date. I wore than compliment like a badge of honor. But I've been tested over the years. I've been especially tested THIS WEEK! You start questioning if you really have the backbone and strength you thought you did. And you know what? I'm even stronger and tougher than I thought I was!! I think if this week really implanted anything positive in my pebble-sized's that I KNOW I can make it through this life. People try to beat me down but I bounce back and I come back better than ever. I can handle anything thrown my way. I can handle anything you've got, whoever you are. Try me.

2. I am only NOW understanding what loving someone entails.

I even said this outloud. I heard myself, alone in my house, saying, "This is what it's like to really love someone". It was an amazing realization to make after a 2.5 year relationship, a 4 years relationship, a 2 year marriage, and a 3 year relationship post-divorce. I am only NOW truly understanding the sacrifice you make when you love someone. As everyone knows by now, I've had a bad week. I'm pretty much had a hole punched in my heart. Luckily, I think my heart is made of chrome these days...and it had support from my brain. I've learned that forgiving someone for something is one of the most difficult thing you can do in life, especially if you've been REALLY hurt. You forgive people when you really love them. You make sacrifices when you really love someone.

My ex-husband left me twice early in our marriage. Eventhough he came back committed, I couldn't forgive him so I never really let my heart back in. And our marriage failed. After this week...and what's gone on in my relationship...I knew that I had to be forgiving...and I feel good about it. I am not happy about what I've learned this week and I would have prefered that I knew all the facts up front, but what I do know is that we love each other. And SOME HOW, this whole mess made US stronger. If only you had been there last night...

Maybe I'll end up with a broken heart down the road somewhere. Or maybe I'll end up marrying the man of my dreams. After last night...I'm betting on the wedding bells (and dancing to a Bouncing Souls song). When a person tells you they are sorry, and means it, you can waste time being mad, or you can forgive and go on with the awesome life you have together. What's better? Hostility, resentment, and tears...or you and them vs. The World?

That's what I thought.

So enjoy your weekend, loves of my life. If you have nothing to do, or even if you have something to do...cancel, come down to The Sac and GET TANKED with The Pussyfoot Girls. Performing will be The Cocktail Shakers, Death By Rodeo, Thunder Thighs (LAST SHOW) and Switchblade Saints! Contests, prizes, raffles, DJ Hot Trash spinning tunes...all for $7. Doors are at 8:00 and bands are at 9:00p on the DIZ-OT. Pussyfoot Girls are performing between the first and second band and again between the third and fourth...I think. Don't quote me on that. As always, The Sac is located at 7001 Denison Ave. in Cleveland. See you there...and wear a tank top/wifebeater for drink discounts and specials.


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