As of January 1st, 2012...

...I will no longer be posting here at The Cleveland "A". In my blog life, I kept my pre-pregnancy life and mommy life separated with The Cleveland "A" and The Family At 1313 Mockingbird Lane. But that's really ridiculous, I've come to realize. I'm still me but I'm also a mom now. I didn't stop being me because Spencer came into my life, I just got better. If I want to keep blogging, which I do, then everything needs to be rolled into one because that's how life is.
So starting tomorrow you can find me blogging about all things awesome at a new location. New year, new blog. I hope you'll follow along because I'm sure things will be as crazy as they've ever been because 2012 is going to be my year. So Happy New Year, loyal readers, and...good night.
http://FromBettieToBetty.blogspot.com

***

Dear Santa:

I'm not sure that the man upstairs is listening anymore. Maybe he never was. So I'm relying on you, big man, to make some holiday wishes come true for me and the people I care about. It's not much to ask. I don't want to win the lottery or bring harm to anyone. I'm not asking for anything frivolous or silly. I know I've asked for a lot of things, a lot of help in my life but believe me, I would trade everything, anything that I have to just to see some miracles. And again, I stress, for me AND the people I care about most dearly. We all need some damn magic.

So in the words of Morrissey, Haven't had a dream in a long time. See the luck I've had can make a good man...bad. So, for once in my life, let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the first time.

...

Lord knows it would be the first time.

Merry Christmas.

***

I really need something good to happen for X-Mas. And I'm going to be selfish and say I really need something good to happen for me this year. Usually, and a lot recently, I've been so worried about why so much junk has to happen to people I love and care deeply about. But right now, I need to think about me and my family, and damn...we need to catch a break. Something good HAS to happen for us. I'd pray for it but I'm still not talking to the man upstairs. If everything happens for a reason, I'd sure as Hell like to know why some of the things that have happened to my family went down.

I just need something. Anything.

I need one full day where I don't think about the morning after Spencer was born and everything fell to effing shambles.  Like I've previously said, and it breaks my heart to even think it, I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare. But I'd want Spencer to be there. And I'd want him to be alright. And that's not going to happen. If by some wacko miracle, I got a chance for things NOT to be the way they are, that would mean there would be no Spencer. That thought is too much to take. So things are the way the way and I have to suck it up, accept it, and deal with it.

But I think I'm owed. And I want to collect. Now.

***

I remember when blogging was my absolute favorite thing to do, then life got in the way and life got a little messy. So I'm here once again to let you know that I'm still alive and I still have every intention of continuing to blog about my little, insane, messy life.

Right now, life consists of being a mom to my best pal, Spencer. Man, that kid blows my mind. My heart is NO DOUBT on the outside of my body at all times, exposed to the elements. You think you're tuff? Become a parent. Then you realize that you are naked ad raw, no armor strong enough to protect you from constant worry, panic, hurt. THEN heap on top of parenthood the fact that your kid is sick or challenged or both. You become one walking open wound.

But the awesomeness outweighs any of the ick, I'll tell you what. I absolutely love being a mom. If I didn't get such a late start on parenting (and if Spencer didn't need just a little extra love...which I am MORE THAN HAPPY to give), I would've had a million kids. Sorry, vagina. It's true.

So that's where I'm at...still. Life revolves around being Spencer's mom and I wouldn't have it any other way. He stole my heart. I'd love to give him a brother or sister but I just can figure out how it would be possible for me to split my love between Spencer and someone else. He owns me. He can cure absolutely anything that ailes me. And that's why it hurts so bad to see him go through some of the things he goes through. He can turn my world upside down but I can't take away his pain. It's so unfair. But I try. Because NO ONE is going to tell me I was a bad mother. NO ONE is going to tell me I didn't give him 110% of myself.

It makes you wonder how shitty parents can be so shitty. How can you hurt your kids? How can you neglectthem? How can you abandon them? I won't lie. When Spencer was born, it flashed through my mind that maybe he needed more than I could give. Maybe there was someone that would be a far better mother to him than I could be. He was a hurt bird. Thinking about if there were parents that could take better care of a hurt bird was because I loved him so much. I wasnted what was best for him. It just took a minute to realize that I AM WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM.

And he's what's best for me.

So...I'm here. I'm breathing. I'm alive. And I'll be back.

***

I hate 2011. It was supposed to be this incredible year. I was having a baby, my pregnancy was a cake walk, everything was golden. But that didn't last long, did it?

My son was born with all kinds of complications that have led to 5  I can't different sets of doctors and constant appointments and evaluations, including monitoring for cancer. And on the cancer front, Brother Ed is still fighting the good fight as it has shown up in his bones and who else is now on Team Cancer with Spencer? Phoebe! I still can't even believe this bullshit. I'm in shock that she had chemo and radiation this week. I can't believe that she's in such rocking spirits...I feel the same way after Spencer flashes a big smile while they're drawing his blood at the Hematology/Oncology clinic. My brother-in-law had to have surgery today so that he doesn't have to live the rest of his life in misery and I had to have surgery on Tuesday because I JUST HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH HAPPEN THIS YEAR!

I'm so overwhelmed. The hits just keep coming.

But I don't have time to fall apart because the cutest dude in the world, wearing his new orange monster jammies, is next to me sounding the alert that he's ready for his brunch. His goofball faces and silly antics are really the only things holding my head on right now. There are still several weeks left in 2011. I wonder what the Hell else could happen to me and the people I love. The people that don't deserve any of this shit.

And that's what it is. Complete shit.

***

I've had to rearrange my life a little. Besides cutting down on my time in the Blogosphere, I've also cut down on my time in the working world. I have 2 weeks left of my maternity leave...a thought which makes me nauseated...and when I go back, I'll be working shorter days. This is good for many reasons. Spencer has a lot of appointments, I'm having emotional issues here and there, this will allow me more time to focus on his health and development, and less hours at the sitter. It was a tough decision but it's the right decision. Nothing is more important to me than Spencer. Nothing should be more important than your child, including your job. And luckily, everyone at work was understanding. We had some unexpected hurdles when Spencer was born, so people probably expected some changes to occur. But I felt bad asking for this. Like I'm a burden or like I'll slack at my job. But I need to learn how to not care. I'll do a good job like I've always done at work. But I need to do an AWESOME job at being a mom. Cause if I don't, I'll never forgive myself. Being the best mom Spencer can get is my top priority. I made a promise to him in the hospital and I'm keeping it. No matter what sacrifices I have to make.

***

Life is hard. Trying to make sense of bad things that happen just causes more pain. I wish I could turn my brain off. The good days/moments are starting to outweigh the bad more and more but when the bad hits, it knocks the wind out of me. I know this drowning feeling will eventually pass but I'm not sure if I'll ever be 100% repaired. I never thought things would be this way. I'm living proof that if you think things can't/won't happen to you, they can. Having all the facts gives you all the power. I was clueless and now I'm making the slow climb back to solid ground.

***

I should've written this yesterday on the day of the actual event but I was wrapped up in Spencer after a night away from him. So pretend it's yesterday as I say Happy 2nd Anniversary to my husband, my best friend, and the father of my son...the best thing that has ever happened to me. Two years ago, we were engaged, living at the Ol' Kentucky Corral, plain and simple. Fast forward to now...we're married, living at Castle Grayskull, Todd's working at a new place, and we had a baby...the coolest, most loved baby on the planet. Not bad. They say the first 2 years of marriage are the hardest. We've been dumped on a lot, especially in the last 6 weeks with Spencer's issues. But we made it. And hopefully the rest will be a piece of cake. And if it's not, we'll be OK. We can lean on each other. He promised my 60 years so we've got a ways to go.

Happy Anniversary, Weasel! I love you.

***

I'm still alive, though some days it doesn't feel that way. Then other days, there's nothing I'd rather do that read books to my son and listen to him fart in his sleep. It's hard to be in these waves. I guess it's just going to take more time to feel like I used to...but I wish I knew how much. If on August 9th, you told me I would eventually be cracking jokes, leaving the house, and smiling...genuinely smiling, not putting on a front...I would've told you to eff off. Actually, I would've probably smiled and nodded but punched you in my brain using my mind. I am getting better day by day. I'm not totally repaired by any means. I'm still crying. I'm still at odds with a higher power. But I'm not where I was on August 9th. I'm not spending so much time on the bathroom floor. I'm enjoying the moments with my son. He's my best friend. I don't want to miss a minute of his life. Maybe I wish I could fast forward through some things but overall...being a mom beats anything I've ever done, lame and cliche as that may sound. I just need to get my spine sturdy. I'm the one that fights. It's in my programming. Anyway, I know this was baby related and the updates are more common over at 1313 Mockingbird Lane, but I wanted you to know I'm still alive. That's something to be thankful for.

***

Life is hard. It's always been hard. When do I get a break? When will my family get a break? When will I stop asking why this is all happening??? I hurt from the inside out. I am greatly anticipating my official transition to robot.

***

Probably won't be blogging very much for awhile. Spencer made an early entrance to our lives and it turns out he needs a little extra love and attention than the average bear. It wasn't what we were expecting but he is more than I could have ever imagined. He's got me wrapped around his tiny fingers. He owns me. I'm in love. But I'm also in a great deal of pain...probably because I love him so much. Spencer and Todd are my everything. Every extra ounce of time I have is theirs, now and forever.

This doesn't mean I'm quitting the blog game. I love it too much. I just need to settle back into life after living in 2 different hospitals for 10 days. Plus maybe I'll be more interesting if I'm blogging more sporadically. Anyway, stick around.

She's just trying to fit in but it's hard when she's never spoken to anyone.

Life right now revolves around being pregnant and hopefully not being pregnant soon. My baby, my husband, my house, and making it through this last week of work...that's my life right now and I'm OK with that. In the blogosphere, I've separated the pregnant part of my life from the rest of it and at this point, there's no division. I'm anxiously waiting to bring my son into this world. That's the only event on my dance card...no Lady Lead Foot show, no Road Rash Bash, no Granger Danger. In fact, my dad has grounded me to only destinations between home and the hospital. Good looking out, dad.

I've been trying to do too much. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's part of nesting. Maybe I'm still determined to prove that I've rocked my pregnancy from beginning to end. But I'm tired now. I can only do what I can do at this point. And honestly, after today, Castle Grayskull will be in good shape and that'll be a load off my mind. I've got the whole kingdom to myself while the fellas go to the tractor pull, an event I am NOT sad to miss! I'm devoting any energy I have today to cleaning the art room. I have a feeling being a parent might be inspirational so I want to be ready.

Will I ever REALLY be ready? Probably not. Todd has been a parent for 10 years but he's never been a full time parent and he had HIS parents in the same house to help out. Spencer is going to be ours 24/7 and we're in this together. It's exciting. It's an adventure. It's also terrifying. But I'm glad I became a parent when I did. Not that there's anything wrong with breeding young. I had that option, too. I'm just glad that I've done so much... I traveled, I screwed up, I lived...selfishly. I didn't miss out on any experiences, even the painful ones. Now I can give 110% to Spencer and make sure he has the awesome life he deserves. And my experiences with him are just going to add to the awesomeness of my life. No doubt.

This is a blog about my life. And this is it.

Miles away from nowhere and the wind doesn't have a name.

SCHMOWZOW! I can officially say I'm having a baby this month!

I know this isn't the baby blog but I thought it had to be documented. A year ago at this time (I think even on this DAY), we moved into Castle Grayskull and were months into trying to breed. Now look at us? Our house is a home and we're going to have a baby THIS MONTH (even if he is the maximum 2 weeks late...which I would like to think he wouldn't do to his mama).

As a last major outting before motherhood, Todd and I met Tessa (Phoebe ended up being too under the weather to attend) at the Great Lakes Renaissance/Medieval Faire and had a rad, if not HOT, afternoon. First off, Renaissance Faire merchandise is pretty much all awesome. If I had a surplus of funds, I would have left with one of everything...especially this octopus ring that I fell in love with. I settled for what I truly wanted...a glittery ribbon crown, which I wore all day, and a dyed fox tail which put my little immitation tail from Target to SHAME. I think Dr. Nightmare thought the tail was her new boyfriend when I brought it in the house.

Besides merchandise, I loved the general feeling of the faire, being tucked back under the trees like I was in Sherwood Forest (except there were cream puffs and pizza available). I'll give them props, their selection of snacks was extensive but it was too damn hot to want to eat, though Todd did put a hurting on a turkey leg. If you're into people watching, this was the place to be. The costumes (of all people there, not just employees) were amazing. And there was no shortage of things to do and see. Dancing, comedy, demonstrations, and my favorite, the jousting.

I was proud of myself for putting in 3 hours under the baking sun. I really did have a great time, though my back got angry and my feet weren't much happier. But my good mood was quickly SMOOSHED when we got on the highway in Geneva and drove right into a traffic shit storm. It took us an hour to go 6 miles and then 10 minutes to go 1/10 of a mile. Bad News Bears. Todd said at least we were spending time together...but I was uncomfortable, exhausted, and starving. It was hard not to cry. At one point, we threw the car into park and switched seats because I was having contractions and my son was seeing how far he could stick some appeandage under my rib cage. Grrrr.

3 hours and 15 minutes later (YES, longer than the amount of time we were at the faire), we pulled into Castle Grayskull. I was in pajamas and in bed with Dr. Nightmare in 2 seconds flat. Todd made me some dinner and I fell asleep with Top Chef D.C.  Overall, I'm glad we went and I feel satisfied in my last roadtrip for awhile. We ran into Brother Ed and Natalie there and she told me about her short labor and (3 push) delivery. I hope I can channel her awesomeness on our big day! And just think, next year I can take Spencer to the faire.

HUZZAH! And let the final countdown begin!

Gives us those nice bright colors. Gives us the greens of summer.

Another edition of Blogging From Bed, this time with a snorting husband next to me. I had one of the worst nights sleep I've had since being pregnant. Lots of tossing-n-turning, vivid dreams, and staring at the ceiling. Not awesome but I'm dealing since I was warned this would happen towards the end of baby-baking. The lack of sleep could be due to anxiousness and anxiety about when our little monster is going to appear or it could be because...

WE'RE GOING TO THE RENAISSANCE FAIRE TODAY!!

In a few hours, we'll be jumping in the car, turning on the tunes, and heading to Geneva-On-The-Lake for the Great Lakes Medieval Faire (after a stop off to grab my wife, Phee-Bizzle). I am so very excited! I can't remember ever going to a Renaissance Faire, it's my last hurrah before the baby comes, and I'm going to be surrounded by awesome, fun-loving people as my Tessa is meeting us there! It's just something different to do and it's something that is not alcohol centered. I can't wait to do things like this with Spencer. I want to see live-action chess, jousting, wenches, and all the amazing costumes! And I'm getting myself a crown, damn it, and hopefully something for my monster. It's going to be fantastic day. I just hope I don't go into labor there. I want all the creature comforts of modern medicine.

I'm going to go have apple pie for breakfast to start the day.

I'm so happy today!!

HUZZAH!!!

We'll exhale. We'll high five. We will know at last how good it feels to be alive!

Join Us.

At first I was terribly disappointed and distressed but like most things, the new They Might Be Giants CD has grown on me like a strange fungus or extra appendage. The reason they have managed to remain my favorite band since 1990 is that they are who they are. You know it's a They Might Be Giants song upon first listen. and you have no choice but to respect the quirk. They don't try to be who they're not. They're just naturally awesome. So if you've picked up this album and are on the fence about it, give it time. Let your extra limbs develop!

My tickets have been secured for their Cleveland show. You might think, "But that's only 4 weeks after your supposed to give birth! It's irresponsible for you to be going to see a band!" I was kind of thinking the same thing...or at least I was slightly worried I'd be given the shit stick. So I didn't even bring up going. It was my fantastic hubby's idea. He said, "Who is going to the show with you? Your sister?" I questioned him about not minding if I went and he said he assumed I'd be going since they're my favorites and he'd happily spend the evening with Spencer. It didn't take any more arm twisting.

So the set list better blow MINDS since I'm leaving my 4 week old buddy!!

Speaking of blowing minds...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHEE-BIZZLE!!!

This is YOUR day! And I hope that it's awesome from the minute you wake up until the minute you fall into bed. And when you DO fall into bed, I hope it's either nakedly with your husband OR in a drunken stupor from too much fun. It's been many moons since I've seen a drunk Phoebe. Or a naked one for that matter. I can't wait to celebrate your 36 years at the Renaissance Faire on Sunday (I told Spencer he MUST stay in his cushy waterbed until AFTER said Faire). I haven't spent nearly enough time with you this year which is a bummer but I have boatloads of good memories to tide me over between hangouts. So HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, MISERY GUTS!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Anything else I need to blather on about on this fine morning?

Um, my contractions are all over the map (an hour and half, 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 41 minutes, 4 hours). And I don't really care that Amy Whinehouse is dead, even is that sounds cold. I didn't personally know her and if you mess with meth, what do you expect? Oh, and congratulations to Little Erin and Wolfboy Slim on their news. RAD!

I guess that's all I've got.

This is it, boys. This is war!

I've got to say, I find it unusually sexy when Todd makes comments about Project Runway when I'm watching it (Top Chef,too...he knows why I have sharks named Fabio, Stefan, and Hosea) And I'm not talking about comments about how much he hates the show. I'm talking about observations that show he's been paying attention. He becomes this fashionista and it makes me laugh. And I think the laughing makes it all sexy, not to mention that he can usually pick the winners and losers! Metrosexual! But he's wrong about Lorena...she's beautiful. He's nutty on that one.

We just held hands while watching The Dilemma. Good time, bad film.

My skull has been an issue this weekend and has been randomly spurting blood out of my nostrils. Regardless, I made it out to the Roll-n-Bowl at Yorktown Lanes last night to see Miss Firecracker One Woman Band. My darling pal Carol was ON last night. She was full on rock star and flat out hilarious. When she gets nervous before shows, it always blows my mind because she OWNS. And she loves me more than bacon...she told me so. It was good to get pertied up and see pals. But Spencer let me know when he had enough and I followed his cue.

And because my pals are so flat out rad, Spence scored a gift last night. I was told it was a "third generation hand me down" which made it that much cooler. It ended up being a sweet vintage Yorktown Lanes t-shirt. Yeah, he is DESTINED to be awesome. It never stops boggling my mind how people have responded to my little Squiggy in such awesome ways. Thanks Jeremy and Niccole. You're awesome!

So after a day of cooking out and swimming fun at my sister's, I'm chilling in our bed with Dr. Nightmare watching more of my Project Runway marathon. Got to gear up for another work week. I've got 12 work days at The Coast before I go on leave so I need to makes sure my replacement (also my nephew) is as prepared as I can make him. Just a little mental stress to add to the physical. I'm glad that I had some down time because I feel overwhelmed from time to time these days, I'm not going to lie. But life is still good.

And in 1 week, it'll be good, Renaissance style!

HUZZAH!!

When was the last time that you recall someone you knew was someone who asked nothing of you?

I rarely blog twice in one day but I HAD to stay...in no uncertain terms...

FUCK YOU, CANCER!

Brother Ed and Natalie are some of the coolest, nicest, most incredible people I have had the pleasure to meet over the years. Hell, she made Spencer a shark hat (and mama one to match) just out of the goodness of her heart. And Ed has been the epitome of awesomeness when it comes to dealing with his lung cancer. So it breaks my cold, black heart that the cancer has spread. But Natalie said they're ready to beat the beast, and I know that they will. They have an entire army of people that feel the same way I do behind them. If anyone can beat this, THEY CAN. No doubt.

But I have to question...why do these terrible things happen to people I'm crazy about??

I know that bad things happen to bad people as well, but screw them. And bad things happen to good people that I don't know, too. I know horrific things don't single out hardworking, awesome, decent people, but it sure feels that way sometimes. It FEELS like the scumbags out there get away with murder and get things handed to them that they flat out don't deserve. While the people who deserve a life full of happiness get the shit stick. Too many people in my life have gotten knocked down when they've always been upstanding. It just makes me angry, you know? Flat out sick.

But everyone needs to channel their anger and energy into being this incredibly huge and powerful support system, or at least that's what I think. Everyone in Cleveland loves them. Everyone that loves them HATES cancer. Maybe a higher power...God, Buddha, Zeus, whoever...won't be able to ignore so many people praying for the same, positive outcome. Strength in numbers, and all that jazz. Anyway, if you have any extra favors to call in, please send some good thoughts into the cosmos for my pals. It would be much appreciated and probably garner some good karma (though I'm on the fence about that bitch).

She's got plenty of rhythm. Got plenty of jive.

You know, you can call me frosty white or pasty or Casper or whatever, but at least my skin is a natural color. I'm sorry but chicks do NOT look good when they're orange. I don't get that look at all. Did you wake up one morning and think, "I've never seen anything more attractive than a Dorito, and that is what I strive to look like."  A healthy glow I get, as well as people who tan naturally. But those who pay to be the color of Ernie from Sesame Street? Confusing.

I may hate fake skin but I still love fake jugs. Does that make me a hypocrite?

And it's not really fake jugs that I love so much as it is LARGE jugs. I like when women look like WOMEN and not young boys. What is appealing about that? Busts and hips and thighs and curves...delicious. Plain and simple.

And now here's something we hope you'll REALLY like!

Recently, I have really embraced what is good and important in my life and have acknowledged that any ridiculousness (of the effed up variety) and drama is dead-n-buried. My life doesn't need to be a circus...though I still wouldn't mind joining THE circus. But I digress. I know how lucky I am. I'm surrounded by real, amazingly hilarious, bizarre, and authentic individuals. I'm jealous of them, in a GOOD WAY. I want to learn from them. I want to emulate them. I want them to know how damn cool I think they are and how they make my life full. Some people don't have such luck. Some people are surrounded by phonies and are phonies themselves, though they'd never admit it. I've been able to trim any of that fat over the years. I feel lighter. And more awesome.

I've said it before and I'll say it until the day I die...life is good.

Don't think I'm being a philosophical softie and/or nut job. You know I despise those poetic types. I'm just telling it like it is. I'm laughing at the clowns I've had to encounter rather than letting them disgust me. They aren't worth my time. They aren't worth your time either. I'm wiping the slate clean and giving some people a second chance. And if they really ARE who they've proven to be thus far...they can kick rocks.

 But don't let this new found lightness fool you...I'm still going to rant! I just ranted about orange women! But I have to do that so my sarcastic and cynical side stays alive and well. I'm nothing if not adorably snarky and scrappy!

The net reward would justify the collosal mess they'd made of their lives.

HUZZAH!

That's right Montagues and Capulets, break out the Mead and hold on to your chastity belts cause we're going to the Renaissance Faire! Next weekend, the husband, the wife (that would be Phee-Bizzle) and I are going to Geneva for what happens to be Pirates Invasion Weekend at the Renaissance Faire and I really can't wait. I want to see some wenches, watch some jousting, and buy one of those crowns with all the ribbons. I predict a splendid time, especially going with Todd and Phoebe. I need to brush up on my Faire speak so I don't just say HUZZAH every five seconds.

And the Faire isn't the only thing filling my dance card.

I should be taking it easy and I will be. All of my upcoming activities can be participated in by sitting in a chair. This weekend is Rock-n-Bowl (which I missed last year because we were boxing up the Ol' Kentucky Corral) with the following weekend being the Faire. Then there's Road Rash Bash, whcih I manage to miss every year for one reason or another, and then the Granger Danger extravaganza at the Wildman Compound. How's that for pure awesomeness?

I can't make any guarantees about which events I'll be able to waddle to, especially since I'm scheduled to bust in only 30 days. But I'm going to do my best to make it to at least ONE of these events (outside of the Renaissance Faire, which is a given...huzzah). As I said to Carol High Hair, Spencer is destined to be born into a life of rock-n-roll so I might as well take a chance that my water could break in public. I've seen some of these people toss their cookies, fall on their asses, and act a fool...they can see my amniotic fluid.

Speaking of fluid, I have a doc appt today. Read about it HERE later.

Enjoy your Tuesday, one of the most annoying days of the week.

I didn't know where I was at first just that I woke up in your arms.

I can finally comment on blogs again! Oh happy day! I was about ready to give blogger the old heave-ho out of utter frustration but my commenting abilities are BACK. You can thank your lucky stars, just as I am. And speaking of blogging, I wish some of you were doing more of it. I need things to read and miss your jabber. I've got 12 weeks of down time coming up. Entertain me. I plan on going back to the get-go, re-reading and tagging all of my entries. Not sure if I'm ready to rehash the past but I'm going to. Hopefully I'll come out the other side relatively unharmed. Here's hoping.

Not so unharmed is my skull which has been throbbing for days. Woke up from a cat nap yesterday with swollen eyes, a bloody nose, and a pulsating brain I'm pretty sure was trying to escape. It was a horror show, indeed. Also a horror show was later in the evening when Santo despite instruction and multiple warnings, punched me in the stomach. I silently cried for multiple reasons: it hurt, I was worried about Spencer, and I may have finally accepted that we can't have those 2 dogs and an infant in the same house. My guts and my heart hurt.

Believe it or not, I love my dogs. But we've worked with them for 3 years and they're getting more hyper and insane, not less. I'm going to be a first-time mom and that's scary enough without being afraid of your own dogs. If it were up to Todd, they'd be in new homes already. But I can't abandon my dogs. And I can already here some people making comments...bit you're not in my situation. If anything happened to Spencer because I couldn't let two unstable dogs go...well...

Moving on before my nose starts to bleed again.

I have goals for today. I have to clean our room, my bathroom and Spencer's bathroom so all the trash is ready for garbage day or Good Will. Fascinating, I know. Then I want to paint some robots and/or space monsters for the nursery since I didn't get to it yesterday. Then I want to spend the rest of the night on the couch with my husband, abusing Netflix and On Demand. Work hard in the morning to be rewarded at night, kind of thing.I just need to get out of this bed first. Maybe some motivating music with help.

And speaking of motivating music (watch me procrastinated), I hope to make it out to Rock-n-Bowl next Saturday to see some of your adorable faces and rockin' bands. I'm also hoping to hit the Ren Faire, Road Rash Bash, and Granger Danger. Damn, I have cool friends! and if my water breaks at any of these events, so be it! My little monster was destined to be born into a world of rock-n-roll!!

Todd said I was his best friend the other night

: )

I whisper sweet things. You tell all your friends. They'll come running to me.

James Taylor, you really effed things up when you covered "Handyman". I've recently re-fallen head-over-heels for the original and then my mom pointed out that you covered it (probably in the hit-or-miss 1970s) and it ALL came rushing into my brain at warp speed. Your horrific cover of an awesome jam. I've never liked you, James Taylor, but now I downright despise you and your lack of range. You probably made Jimmy Jones roll over in his grave...if he's dead...not fully informed on that one.

I need to get a turntable into my life. My records are just sitting in the art room feeling forgotten, unloved and under appreciated, much like many annoying American women. I also need a jukebox, and I think I need it more than a Ms. Pac-Man machine but that's still up for debate. I've got a lot of 45s that would make for one HELL of a 50s/60s dance party jukebox. I need to start squirreling away nuts to make this dream come true. I also have to ignore the nagging voice saying "Jukebox or your son's Ivy League college education??" 

I bet it's one of those forgotten, unloved and under appreciated American women.

He's a mean motah scootah and a bad go-gettah.

I have to get out of bed in half and hour to make a bunch of 10 year olds their breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, sausage, and hash browns. After that, parents should start arriving, gift bags should be dispersed, and I can reclaim Sunday as my own! Even if a middle-of-the-night Charlie Horse has destroyed my left leg. Blast.

Overall, I think I threw another successful par-tay. One of the ankle-bites told me Aiden's parties are the best. Aw shucks. We kicked it off with swimming, snacks, and tiki drinks (and only one time-out casualty for name calling). There was grilling, more swimming, a movie and epic sundae bar (while I got in my first Grayskull pool time of the summer), and then night swimming! I've got to say, our yard is made for night hangouts. Even though we spent 2 days prepping for this shin-dig, I felt relaxed chilling on my patio. Being entertained by Tessa and John Jackson didn't hurt either. They're my go-to people for...well, pretty much everything!

We finally closed the pool down around 10:00 and set the little monsters up with popcorn and a movie. How no one's intestines exploded, I'll never be sure. Though there could be nothing but carnage waiting for me when I vacate this bed! There could be a horror show down there. Hopefully they kept it all in for their parents and toilets.

And speaking of carnage, my house no longer falls under that category! It's squeaky clean and after today's patio construction, there will only be the basement project to finish. My stress levels are sinking like the Titanic!! Such a fancy free feeling. Now if only this baby bomb would make his debut so the Castle wouldn't have a chance to get destroyed! But that's wishful thinking. He'll appear when he's ready. And hopefully not while I'm going down my pool slide, as was suggested by my adult party guests.

Maybe post-pancakes, I'll go float around my pool in a tube. Nothing says "90 degree day" like a preggo chick slothing it up in a swimming pool. Now if only I could reclaim control over my left leg. I'll get you yet, Charlie Horse.

I've seen it all. I was here first.

Throwing up certainly tops my list of things I loathe. I toss my cookies and start to whimper and become very melancholy. When it comes to throwing up (and you'd think I'd be a pro by now...I threw up ten times more when I WASN'T pregnant), I do NOT know how to suck it up, man up, what have you. I'm a puss when my insides end up on the outside.

Did I mention that I'm sick?

I don't think this is any late-in-the-game morning sickness creeping in. I thought I had food poisoning on Thursday night/Friday morning but it wore away, at quesadilla-induced food poisoning tends to do. So I think I just pushed myself too hard this weekend and am paying for it now. The downside to a little too much sun-n-fun, if you will. But luckily, I already had a check-up scheduled for today...it's always good to double check the baby machine. I like to be on top of things. You can make that dirty if you want.

Speaking of sun-n-fun, this weekend really was solid. Thank sweet zombie Jesus for Todd's schedule change. We actually got to spend some time being goofy together, outside of our steak-n-movie date. We went to the zoo one day which was pretty fun, even if we didn't see any wolves, and pool-hopped the next. Good, clean, American holiday fun. Or something like that.

Missed Heavy Rebel for the 3rd year in a row but not many people I knew made the trek. I think the allure is starting to wear off a bit for a lot of people. But man oh man, there's nothing like a Saturday night at Heavy Rebel! I have some phenomenal memories of those Saturday night. Phenomenal and blurred. Anyway, I'm not complaining because I had fun celebrating Independence Day the way we did. Low-key, lotsa fun.

Capgun Cowboys reunion show on Friday. MUST attend. MUST!

And MUST find a way to stop songs from being stuck in my head!

You take me to and lead me through Oblivion.

I can officially say that we're having a baby next month. I remember on New Year's when Todd declared that we were having a baby this YEAR. Now it's right around the corner! I'm no longer feeling anxious...at least not in a bad, medication-needed kind of way. I'm just eager to hold my little monster. You know, after he's all hosed off and goo-free. We're ready. I mean, you're probably never REALLY ready but we have what we need to at least welcome him into this crazy life we've built. His room, his stuff, potentially rad parents, definitely rad aunts-n-uncles galore, and love. We've got love in surplus. I'd love to tote him around in utero forever because the world can be a rough place...but my ribs can't take the beatings. Soon, little ninja. Soon.

Had an impromptu date last night after the scheduled home renovation project wrapped up early. Hooray! We have baseboards! The formal, no-need-for-it living room and dining room are DONE! We went out to put a hurting on some steaks and then parked it on the couch to watch "Devil", which was neither horrible nor awesome. I predicted the "Devil"'at the beginning. Go me. Anyway, I'm thinking we might get a date night part 2 today since we haven't spent much dough recently. I love having extra time together with Weasel. He's only been back on days for a week and I already feel more relaxed. Everything is settling into place and it feels damn good.

And tomorrow is the 4th of July which means some outdoor chill time, swimming, and hopefully a plethora of things that sparkle or glow!!! I like the 4th. I like painting my fingernails (we'll go with blue this year) and wearing the traditional colors like a proper nerd. As I get older I'm more into holidays and family stuff. It's good all around.

Everything is good all around.

I've been with you such a long time. You're my sunshine.

A 3-day work week followed by a 3-day work week. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Why did I choose to wear shoes that are furry-lined on the day when it's going to be a gazillion degrees? It's not even 7:00am and my poor dogs are roasting. Do people still refer to their feet as "dogs"? That needs to make a come back.

As I've been blathering about for some time now, Becky came to visit this weekend and magically filled all the empty spots in my soul as only she can do. She looks happier, healthier, and just all-around more Becky-ish than ever. Her positivity rubs off on me and she loves me for my bitter snarkiness. We're definitely an Odd Couple but it works, and has worked for over 10 years now.

She arrived early and we shot the breeze. It happens like this every time we get together. We greet each other and get down to gossip. She wants to know what's going on with everyone...my friends, my family, my fetus. Post-gab session, we went to Chocolate Bar and stuffed ourselves silly. She had a Swedish Fish martini (I urged her to have a cocktail despite it being 11:30am)...I had not one but TWO desserts because there is no better time than now to get piggy. I felt like one of those Ladies Who Lunch, but cooler and in better company.

When Todd came home from work, we took the kids to the Brunswick Home Days which was just as trashy as any other city carnival, but still a good time. I love anything that glows and who doesn't love a carnie?? If only we could've seen Mr. Speed, the KISS cover band. The adults talked while the kids rode rickety rides run by toothless weirdies. No one won any miniature basketballs or saw-dust filled toys, but Todd did enjoy an Elephant Ear or Funnel Cake. Something covered in powered deliciousness.

Post-carnival, we headed to Winking Lizard for some munchies and then back to Castle Grayskull for some chill time...which would've been pool time if Ohio wasn't so bizarre. With water under 50 degrees and a heater on the fritz, we had to stay on dry land. And eventually, this preggo-mama had to put herself to bed in preparation for Spencer's baby shower in the morning. You can read about that awesome event and see some snapshots HERE!!! Or you can just forget about it. Your call.

After the shower, Becky hit the road but luckily, I was too busy, buried in a pile of all things baby, to be too sad right away. But once she texted a safe (and speedy) arrival home, I was missing her. Why can't she live a mile down the road like she used to? Everyone grows up and moves on, I suppose. I probably appreciate her more now that seeing her is a special event. Hopefully I'll see her one more time before I'm officially someones parent...but another visit in 51 days seems unlikely. Le sigh...

So there you have it. The portion of my weekend that WASN'T babyfied.

And you know you have a thousand things in front of you.

Words can not express how lucky I feel right now to have the people in my life that I do. The women in my family and in my life (hey, they're my family, too) rallied today to throw us, and Spencer, one Hell of a baby shower. It was short and sweet and AMAZING. Eventually, I will get around to blogging all the awesome details, some fantastic pictures, and some individual thanks that needs to be documented on the BABY BLOG, but for now, just now that I am full of appreication and love you all. I am very overwhelmed in the best of ways.

Love,
Lacey, Todd, and Spencer

Either way, it's OK. You wake up with yourself.

My new work schedule goes into affect today, and by NEW, I mean "until maternity leave". I'd like to say that means I'm going to have more free hours in my day but it actually means I'll be spending more time on the couch or in the bed with Dr. Nightmare. Maybe I'll finally watch Weeds and Mad Men. Anything else you can recommed? Nothing that'll involve too much brain activity.

But back to my schedule (imagine I said that like a Brit). I appreciate my work being so accomodating and understanding. I'm only shortening my schedule by 6 hours a week but I still hate being a nuisance. Unless I'm purposefully being a nuisance. Which happens often.

And now for the best things I've heard so far this week:

"I kept wishing you were there so I could see a pregnant woman knock a lesbian to the ground. That would've been great".

"Deliciousness knows no time frame".

I got to spend some quality time with my Onionhead yesterday which was much needed. I miss my friends and will probably burst into flames when I see them on Sunday. It was good to gab-n-gossip with someone that really knows me. I always LOVE when someone has a juicy story that makes my jaw drop and leaves me in shock. I like to be on the outside of drama looking in!

My nephews don't know what Skor bars are. Poor, neglected, delicious candy.

Becky is coming to visit this weekend for the baby shower and I get an entire Saturday with her! I already feel whole just knowing she's on her way. She told me not to clean and not to fuss over her, that she's perfectly happy with pizza, chick flicks, and some pool time. Some of my happiest days were Sundays in college when we would get Chinese food and watch movies alllllll day. I'm so looking forward to just being around her that I can't even put it into words. So ignore all those words above.

And with that...I bid you a fond farewell on this rainy day.

I was born to love her and I will never be free. She'll always be a part of me.

First off, let me say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my best friends...probably my BEST friend, actually, on the planet, TESSA! Happy 32nd Birthday, love of my life. I hope that this next year finds you happier, healthier, and just showered in oodles of awesomeness. While I don't think I can make it to your shin-dig due to yesterday's hospital events, I will be there in spirit listening to you sing 99 Red Balloons...I ONLY like it when you sing it. Happy Birthday, Onionhead!

Still not happy with the layout. Irked more and more every day.

All my temporary posts have been removed as I believe my message has been received. What I hate about social networking and technology (I'll be honest, there isn't a lot) is that perception of tone and miscommunication are so easy. It was suggested that I do something via interwebs, I encouraged someone to get involved in the situation via text, and the next thing you know, everything is all effed up and lost in translation. How the Hell did you get THAT out of what I said?? I never said anything LIKE that! It ends up being a circus and I have enough clowns in my life.

And drama! Including me and my spawn which you can read about HERE!!

And if you don't feel like reading about my Emergency Room fiasco, just know that both Spencer and I are aces but we'll know even more about a doctor's appointment on Monday. I want to thank all my pals out there for their well-wishes and concerns. You're all cool in my book. And my book is illustrated for those of you who get bored easily.

New carpet came today bringing our formal living room/dining room remodeling project closer to completion. In fact, the room should be done by Sunday! Hooray! Having all these partially finished home projects is weighing heavily on my brain...especially now that my activity has been restricted a little bit more. It will be nice to walk in the door and not see pure havoc. And even though it's the room we use the LEAST in the house, it's probably the room that has the most of our quirky personalities in it. Beats the pants of the beige boredom it used to be. One thing we are not...is beige.

When THEY still lived here. Woof.

Before the destruction began.

During the destruction.

Yep, that's black-n-gray checkered carpet right there!

Formal living room...the first room you see as you enter Castle Grayskull.

Dining room that maybe we'll actually use now!

Next on the never-ending agenda or making a house a home? Finishing our patio/pool projects, putting the basement/man cave back together after the great flooding (thank you again, home owners insurance), putting finishing touches on the Spencer Dome...and whenever there's time (the other projects are priorities), painting the living room and re-doing our downstairs bathroom TIKI STYLE! Somewhere in that list I'd like to fit in some swimming and, oh yeah, giving birth.

That would be SWELL!

I won't cry for you. I won't crucify the things you do.

I am one irritable little zombie this morning. I'm mere milliseconds away from hunting down some sort of tool and removing my spine and all the muscles of my back, leaving me a puddle of muck on the floor. Attractive, no. Necessary, totally.

I know the back pain and tailbone pressure all goes around with hauling precious cargo. But exhaustion can make the simplest things seem a gazillion times more horrific. So that's where I am right now. Beat, uncomfortable and taking it out on the world. If you have to physically interact with me today, I would maintain distance. After all, I've read "Real Ultimate Power".

On the plus side, and this IS a plus as far as I'm concerned, Lady Gaga's new album has grown on me like a delicious and nutritious algae. My initial distaste for it was cause for concern but now I can't stop jamming it. Whew. What a load off my mind. Sure, there may be too many song centered around religious themes for my taste, but what's good is REALLY good.  "Bloody Mary" may be stuck in my head all day and I'm pretty OK with that. Way to go, Gaga.

Way to go.

COUNTDOWNS:
12 days until the baby shower.
16 days until my next doctor's appointment.
65 days until Spencer's due date.

We'll kill the fatted calf tonight so stick around.

Marcus Samuelson sort of freaks me out. Sorry Ethiopia.

Also, I don't care what you do to goat. I'm not eating it.

A full weekend is coming to a close and I'm blogging from bed because this body needs a rest. The fan is going, my legs are propped on a pillow, and Top Chef is on. Simple. Perfection. And the weekend was the same, despite some unexplained anxiety here and there. It's probably not "unexplained", what with all these home renovation projects going on at once and an active boy growing in my guts. I don't want to bring a baby into chaos. I, myself, don't want to be surrounded by chaos. But that's not really the point since the quick sinking feelings in no way outweighed the good times that were had.

I've said before, and with great enthusiasm, that I'm pretty good when it comes to birthdays and my stepson is turning 10 this week. There's a pretty mind-blowingly cool pool party and sleepover planned for next month (June is jam packed and July will give us a toasty, swimming-worthy day) but we still needed a mini-celebration. I think I did a damn fine job right down to the wrapping paper. It takes weeks to plan, an eternity to wrap, and mere seconds for the paper to fly and it all to be over. But it was well worth it. He was one happy (almost) 10 year old. And the fun just continued as we rocked the chopsticks and he was treated like a king. I think his Magic 8-Ball was right when he asked it if today would be a rad birthday...just wait for your party, kid!!! I may not do everything right, but I know how to throw a party!

We had another celebration this weekend as we hit our 2nd wedding of the season. We got snazzed up and hit both the ceremony and reception...which was in question since my back and tailbone write my agendas these days. Weddings always make you think about your marriage. We know each other better than anyone else can, even when we watch to karate chop each others heads in half. It's cool to have that. It's cool to have some one make sure you have something to drink and are comfortable. It's cool to have someone to ask you to dance. And it's super cool to have someone laugh and tell you they love you because you say you have to poop. Weddings can be good reminders of the good thing you got if you're lucky enough to have it. Maybe I'll karate chop my husband just a little less this week...and I'll be sure to put the same effort into Father's Day as I do to birthdays.

So another work week begins in the morning, leading up to probably one of the busiest weekends of the summer...oh sweet anxiety! There's a studio opening and a karaoke bash (don't expect to hear me singing without liquid courage), more home improvements packed into a short spam of time and another awesome birthday celebration, and then Father's Day. Besides honoring the father of my monster, I've got to do right by my own pops. He's done far too much for us this year, even with a wrecked paw and a full plate. Looking at my dance card, I wonder if I'll be able to find time to sleep and breathe!!!

I guess it's better than being bored.

Am I right???

A meditation engine runs on gasoline, caffeine, and time.

2 more followers gets me that much closer to my goal of building a robot!

And sometimes I wish I drank coffee. But not enough to do anything about it.

You know what feels incredibly awesome and empowering? Saying what you want to say without thinking or pausing or censoring yourself. Just vomiting your mind, as my girl Gaga would say, all over people at the exact moment the thoughts pop into your head. ZING! You may think this is a bad idea and maybe it is. But lots of bad ideas probably feel incredible. Anyway, I think I've pussyfooted around saying what I want to say for far too long and that's not my style. I'd rather deal with the fallout than the stress of keeping it all bottled up.

And before you try to start blaming my brashness on hormones, let me stop you in your tracks. During my entire preggoness (30 weeks today and you can read about that later here), my emotions have been in check. Except during one beer commercial where a soldier was returning home to a big party in a barn. That made my eyes leaky. Anyway, I've just been thinking a lot which lead me to realize that I sure have buttoned my lip over the last few years and that's not my style. I'm not one to get walked on, never have been.

But enough of that brand of blather!

Ready for a polar opposite?? I am DETERMINED to go to a Renaissance fair this year. In fact, the Ohio Renaissance Festival kicks off a month after Spencer is scheduled to vacate my uterus. Is it bad form to take an infant to a Renaissance fest? Don't babies like turkey legs, jousting, and big steins full of mead or ale? Every year I mean to go and I miss out. Enough of this putting things off! That's how things DON'T get done and I don't want to be on my deathbed whining about how I didn't go to a Renaissance fair. Does that sound trivial? Shut up. You can come, too.

I need some pool time.

And I am STILL not satisfied with this flipping layout! GRRRR!

Sometimes I told the truth and sometimes I lied.

Two, count 'em, TWO posts I wrote yesterday just disappeared into thin air! This has never happened before and I have no explanation as to why but it has me all kinds of miffed. Yeah, you heard me...MIFFED! But it's not like they were about anything all that fascinating. Just the usual meaningless and mindless blather. Still, I tool the time to type them. And to spell-check them. And to laugh at them. I've wasted my own laughs! Grrrr.

And now here's something we hope you'll REALLY like!

So, I might be having those Braxton-Hicks faux contraction thing-a-ma-jigs (for the record, the Fish-a-ma-jig from Friendly's is still the most hilarious thing I've ever seen on a menu). Either that or for brief seconds at a time, there is a war being waged in my uterus. Maybe with a mini-Alien vs. mini-Predator.

...

I kind of grossed myself out with that one and feel pretty squirmy.

WTF BLOGGER!?!?! I just blathered a bunch of mind-blowingly interested shtuff and it's gone! GONE the way of the unicorn and the dinosaur and the dinosaur unicorn. I'm giving up for today. My wit is spontaneous. I can't recreate that kind of magic on the spot and certainly not when I feel like doing a round-house kick to my monitor, sending zombie rubber ducks flying to their death (a.k.a. the floor). This is not paving the way for a day full of awesomeness, I'll tell you what!

Like a road, you're somewhere to go.

There is a piece of chocolate coconut cream cheesecake waiting for me in the fridge. But do I really want to start my day with another sugar high? In approximately 75, I'm going to give birth to a tornado. Or a marshmallow.

Yesterday was unexpectedly full and gave me a little bit of a jump start. Recently, I've been feeling a little...well, a little everything, emotionally and physically. Lost, bored, overwhelmed, uncomfortable. But yesterday sort of worked out the kinks a bit.

After my hubby hooked me up with an Iphone (reason #254 that he's pretty cool - he accepts my technology obsessions), I had a 1 hour glucose test at the hospital which was fascinating (but more about that at the baby blog). Once I shook the sugar, I spent the cheddar...had to score a more comfy bikini so I can take advantage of having a pool, bump and all.

John Jackson and I had a late lunch/early dinner/shit talking session and then I unexpectedly ending up at my niece's baseball game...and left there with a breast pump (say WHAAAT?). I'm not trying to give you the play by play of the day, honestly, but it was the baby, friends, family, weather, accomplishment of tasks, etc. that leveled me out.

Don't get me wrong, I like a lazy day more that most people. But the further along in my preggoness I get, the more useless I feel I'll become. I need to fill my days with productive hours while I can. Then when I can't, you'll find me floating the pool.

Life es bueno!

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So hot! Love I couldn't quite resist.

Did we skip over Spring? Hot dog!

Today has been one of those days-off that I love. Soul satisfying, or somthing crunchy like that. It wasn't jam-packed with wasted hours. It was a full day that included buying a rad patio set, opening our swimming pool, prepping our outdoor space for summer fun, grilling an amazing feast (I finally successfully tackled ribs!!!), and warpping it all up with ice-cream sundaes!

Does it sound lame? Get off your high horse because it was fantastic. We made good use of every hour of this Memorial Day, even if I had to take frequent breaks and put an ice pack on my forehead for awhile. The whole weekend recharged my batteries in fact, even if we were running-on-go from Saturday on. I feel accomplished and far less worried that our Castle Grayskull projects won't be finished by the time Spencer makes his debut. I feel good.

But I also feel horrifically guilty, which may seem like a contrasting emotion. My dad had an accident while selflessly helping make improvements on the Ol' Kentucky Corral to help it sell. 24 stitches, tendon surgery, and a sad daughter later, all I can think is that if we had been doing the chore (I'll be 7 months preggo on Thursday and Todd was at work), this never would've happened. It hurts my heart-n-brain. Hopefully he'll repair quickly and hopefully he knows how much we appreciate all his help and sacrifice. Still, I feel sick when I think about it *frown*

But overall, everything is gravy. Delicious gravy.

Happy Memorial Day!

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Hear my voice in your head and think of me kindly.

Good morning...temporarily...from the bed!

This little blog just got its 30th official follower. As soon as I her 50 followers, I'm going to do something dramatic to celebrate. Like build a rocket to the moon or a loyal robot companion. Both seem a little technical with high levels of difficulty, but it is good to have goals. Welcome 30th follower.

I think I'm going to stop using contractions like Peggy Hill.

I haven't dedicated enough time to it to know for sure, but I'm worried about Lady Gaga's new album. I've been told it'll grow on me and I hope it's true. Something about it is so 80s/90s dance and not nearly as powerful as The Fame (Monster)...besides "Judas". Oh, and it's time to drop the religious themes. But I'm not giving up hope yet. Especially after she won back top spot in my heart doing the Liquorville sketch on SNL. A-MAZ-ING.

I already forgot about the contractions. Fail.

I really want to hear the Crass version of "Do They Owe Us a Living?" right now. Haven't thought about that song in years. Probably won't do anything about it.

Why was clapping erasers in grade school so coveted?

Why did Progresso change their Minnestrone soup receipe like 15 years ago, knocking my world out of balance?

Why am I awake this early on a Saturday?

Good night, jerkfaces. xoxoxo

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Don't show up so on time. And don't act like you're so kind.

Greg Oblivian wears Cosby sweaters. Take note.

If you need some jams to get your morning jump-started, might I recommend "Don't Ask Me" and "So Damn Hot", both by OKGO? I'm already partially revved because my 4-day weekend starts at 3:15p today but those songs slapped a smile on my mug.

Actually, a lot of songs made me smile in a nostalgic way during my morning commute. I've been doing that 30 Day Song Challenge on Facebook (ah, social networking, how I love thee) and it's made me evaluate every jam on my Ipod more critically. Today, day 7, had me picking a song that reminds me of a certain event. A majority of the tunes I lurve have some story associated with them!

"Shoehorn With Teeth" reminds me of seeing TMBG in Columbus and one lucky crowd member...an adorably jazzed 13 year old boy...getting to play the glockenspiel and then KEEP the autographed glockenspiel. "Natural One" reminds me of driving around in my high school bestie's car (R.I.P. Rusty) listening to the KIDS soundtrack during the summer. "Hightime" reminds me of being dressed like a dead skunk on the best Halloween I've ever had. "Ballroom Blitz" reminds me of singing karaoke at a dive bar on my nephew's 21st birthday. "Bacon Grease" STILL makes me ponder EVERY TIME I hear it if it's a good or bad thing that he wants to "cook that woman up in bacon grease". The stories never end.

Anyway, that's been my morning. Memories and music. It's kicking off what will no doubt be a longer than average (despite it's 24 hour length) day since I'll be counting down to Spencer's 28 week doctor's appointment and the start of my weekend. My back hurts, I didn't sleep well, and my radar is up that something fishy is going on...which makes me think of "(I Know) There's Something Going On" by Frieda (former member of ABBA), the first song I heard this morning.

Why do Australians love ABBA? What is the connection there?

Teenage love song, ain't such a thing.

At this time in 2005, I abandoned my blog at pitas.com (still hilarious and available for posterity's sake) and made my home here at The Cleveland "A". 6 long and jam-packed years I've been blathering and droning on and on about whoever and whatever I want...though I was a little more verbal and nasty back in the day. A lot has chanced in what is really such a short amount of time (unless, as I've said, you were in jail...6 years in jail would be a long time).

This time in 2005 also saw the birth of Mamacita's brain child, The Pussyfoot Girls, another main staple in the diet of my life.  I miss knowing that every week, I'd see my favorite gals walking through the doors of the Ol' Kentucky Corral (might as well mark 2005 down as when I bought that joint, though it was summer when I moved in). I miss listening to music and being ridiculous. It's not even the shows that I miss...it's the practices. Some of the best and most absurd times of my entire life.

And wow, Spring 2005 saw a lot of action in my little life because it's ALSO when my divorce was all said-n-done. It doesn't even really seem like that marriage actually happened. Eh, it was really just "playing house" when it comes down to it. Is it weird that I can barely remember what something should be significant was actually like? Eh, it is what it is.

But enough about my blog's 6th birthday...

I'm starting my week off with a cupcake. I predict good things.

I want to make up for lost time tonight and I just can't wait.

Man, have I been a bad blogger. But maybe you should thank me for not boring you to tears and/or death since my week has basically consisted of sleeping (poorly, might I add) my life away with a super sore back. Yesterday I forced myself to build the changing table, clean the kitchen and do some laundry. My back and I sure are paying for it this morning. But that's life. Or the life of a 6 1/2 month pregnancy person, I suppose.

It's going to be 75 and partly cloudy which is as close to Heaven as I'm going to get to today. Doesn't seem like the Rapture happened, as predicted by nutbags. I love that Castle Grayskull is filled with widows and sliding doors because I'll need some sunshine and fresh air (let's throw some bad TV in there, too) while I keep trucking on with my nesting. What room of my house will be destroyed and repaired today?

Speaking of home destruction, let me just say HOORAY FOR INSURANCE! Our home owners insurance company (how adult does that sounds?) actually sent an adjuster out and we were cut a check on the spot for all the basement-flooding nonsense. I wasn't expecting any money so I'm more than happy with what we got. There will be some new drywall and paint, a new bathroom floor, new doors if we so choose, and a plumber to check out some shtuff. It's going to be some work, I've been told, but hopefully it's done before Spencer shows up. I can't happily enjoy my son living in a shit shack.

Sorry I couldn't dazzle you with more wit. I want to enjoy the early-morning weather.

Hardly recognize simple things anymore.

I am not going to be satisfied or feel accomplished  this morning until every shred of this horrific, chipped, cheap-ass, fuscia nail polish has been scratched off. I'm working with much fervor and determination. The same amount of determination that will go into the letter I'm writing the cosmetic company that manufactures said nail polish to tell them their product is rank and I want cash back in my pocko!

I may have gotten up on the wrong side of my coffin this morning.

I'm going to mark the weekend a success. Consider it marked. I don't really need to give you the play by play. Just know that everything I said I was going to do (show my face at Peabody's which was F-U-N and the fetus' first Fetus show, hit a wedding with Todd which made me feel very close to him...he was an attentive husband), I did and I did with as much gusto as I could muster. For the record, I don't particularly like the word "gusto" or "muster". In addition to planned plans, I had lunch with John Jackson yesterday which involved lots of face-stuffing (by me) and chattering.

One thing we chattered about was having a dream (not MLK style). Like knowing EXACTLY what you want to do...particularly career-wise...and doing it. Neither of us really feel like we have a career, so to speak. And there was never really a time in my life where I was like, "THIS is what I want to do when I grow up" or "THIS is what I'm going to go to college for" or "THIS is what I'm passionate about". The only thing that came close was that in my very young youth, I wanted to be a teacher. I spent many, many, many years of my childhood playing school. I would've been a good teacher. Ask any one of my stuffed animals.

I blame you, Project Runway. This self-analysis is YOUR fault.

I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I'm pretty sure there will never be that thing that clocks me in the head like a brick. But I do know this...my job affords me my lifestyle. Not that it's anything flashy. I just mean that I'm not living dollar to dollar. I can take my family on vacation, I can go out to dinner, I can buy new clothes, I can make sure the cupboards are stocked, I can throw my step-son a birthday blow out. And I can do all theses things thanks to my j-o-b.

When it comes right down to it, it's like, "Do I want to have my dream JOB that I love going to every day and makes me outrageously happy and fulfilled?" or "Do I want to have an extremely awesome and adventurous life with my family that makes me outrageously happy and fulfilled?". It would be nice to have both but it doesn't happy for many people, does it? So I'll take the second. I'd rather have the life I've dreamed of that the job I've dreamed of...because I've never had a dream job so I'm not really missing out. And I LIKE my job. So I've got it pretty good.

Not saying if I could be a circus performer I wouldn't ditch it all in a second!!!

So there's a hearty dose of introspection to start your week off right. Muah!

I've learned love is like a brick...you can build a house or sink a dead body.

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13th!! Why has today been awesome??

-I woke up early even though I slept like junk...after our basement flooded from what my parents say was the worst rain they've ever seen in Brunswick.There wasn't much I could do since I can't lift or bend but the dudes handled it (APPRECIATED). And I still woke up sun-shiny early to get my day on.

-For the first time in my life, EVERY dress I tried on for the wedding tomorrow not only FIT but looked GREAT. I walked out with 4 non-maternity dresses, that can be worn post-Spencer! And walking out of the dress department, there they were! The perfect shoes...and they match all 4 dresses! Need more icing on the cake? I found great jewelry, too. This NEVER happens to me. Shopping usually makes me cry. Being pregnant has made me totally lurve my body right now, I guess. My mom said Spencer is good luck. HELL YEAH! But I had a front runner right off the bat.

-Spent some time at PJ's Day Spay getting my hair done did! Yep, you read that right. I actually got more than one haircut in a year. It's fresh and clean, the color is touched-up, brighter-n-fresher, and it's one more thing to help me feel wedding-ready! Ignore the fact that I'm sans make-up. It was early.

-I got home and did a little text fashion show for my manimal once I narrowed it down to 2 dresses: the black, strapless, Hawaiian and the blue, spaghetti strapped, garden party. STILL pumped with my purchases! Whichever one I don't wear tomorrow, I'll wear to the wedding we have next month. Lurve is the air. And Todd loved me in the dresses, saying something like "YUM!". Boy sure does love a summer dress and thought it would be cute if I showcases the bump a bit. Just call me pregnant in heels...or wedges. I don't want to be like "I look HAWT" but it's nice to feel good about your appearance when you're growing a monster inside of you!

Black Hawaiian

Blue Garden Party

-I made some delicious pasta for lunch with the windows wide open, enjoying the bad-ass weather. Red pepper flakes, garlic, broccoli, peas, tomatoes, and Bocconcini. It was yum, yum, yum. A good lunch and some bad TV, followed by painting my fingernails and toes (by the way, that's no longer an option...it's Todd's job now) just kept me on that good mood wave. It's the little things that matter.

-Horror of 59 is playing a free show with Cult of the Psychic Fetus tonight! I'm going to get to spend some time with my awesome pals, and my twin, COTPF's own Alex Murder! Pre-show, John Jackson (yeah, he's totally my partner-in-crime now) are going to stuff out faces solid with some Italian goodness. And as an awesome treat, my husband will be meeting us at the show, a pleasant surprise. I think the good day will end with a good night.

So yeah...VIVA FRIDAY THE 13th!! Hope it's as good for you!

Go up in the air, come down in slow motion.

I had a dream last night that Todd and I took Spencer (in actual " freshly outside of the womb" form) to a Lady Gaga concert. I was trying to find a bathroom before the show and I saw a mob following Gaga herself. I "OWWWWW"-ed as I've been known to do at shows in the past and all grew quiet as Gaga approached me. It must've been her mating call. She kissed me on lips, not sexy-like or anything, but she was definitely sending me odd vibes, and I tried to take a self-picture. When I got back to where Todd, Spencer, and his god-mother were, the picture had some how erased. I was livid and I woke up confused.

Maybe I need to dial back the amount of Gaga in my life. Worth pondering.

News flash: my back is sore, I'm beat-n-fidgety, and I anticipate a long day ahead.

Second news flash: we had a night on the town this weekend with friends we haven't seen in awhile. It involved a cheese plate, so you know it was both posh and a smashing success. I lurve my friends and I forget exactly how MUCH I lurve them until I see them after time has passed. I felt exactly the same about Phoebe when she and I saw Gaga recently (there she is again, invading my life and thoughts).

I'm hoping to see lots of pals at the Horror of 59/Cult of the Psychic Fetus show on Friday, keep the good feelings going, you know? When the PFG was still struttin', I knew I was going to see my girls once a week and the usual suspects at LEAST once a month if not more. Now everyone is getting engaged, getting hitched, getting knocked up, co-habitating, moving, working on new projects...and such is life. And I know I'm plenty to blame as I've been M.I.A. Doesn't make me miss my dudes any less. Miss ya, dudes.

I have the Letter People theme song in my head out of nowhere. Odd.

We're going to a wedding in Nowheresville this weekend and I'm actually looking forward to it. Sure, I won't know many people there and can't relax with a cocktail, but it's a reason to buy a new outfit and shoes and spend some time all dolled up with my fella. We're going to 3 weddings this year and already have one lined up for next year. Love is in the air. It's the fever, people.

"Pants On Fire" was my derby pic. SUCKO. It's GLUE for YOU, pony!

Cuanta le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta!

Feliz Cinco de Mayo, todo el mundo! El año pasado, fui a la PJ McIntyre con Todd y disfrutó de margaritas, Dos Equis, y el tiro de tequila. Este año? Probablemente va a ser muy diferente, ya que no puedo tener una bebida alcohólica para otros 105 días. De todos modos, siempre me ha gustado el Cinco de Mayo y no estoy seguro de por qué ya que soy la más blanca niña blanca en la cara del planeta.

No necesito un cóctel de México para disfrutar de esta fiesta que me ha gustado tanto a lo largo de los años. Tal vez una canción, un Sance poco, un poco de salsa los pantalones! De cualquier forma, necesito algo para volver a organizar mi actitud que ha sido una especie de roca de esta semana debido a la estupidez que viene a mí desde todas las direcciones

Mi pasatiempo favorito en el mundo ahora es sólo sentimiento Spencer hacer lo que está haciendo en mi útero. Así mayeb voy a pasar mi Cinco de Mayo jugando él, para los atascos de festivos o películas de Carmen Miranda. O tal vez sólo tendremos que ver "Machete " y lo llaman de una noche sobre unos tacos. Las oportunidades son interminables y el mundo es mi ostra! ¿Comen ostras en México?

Me pregunto cómo extraño esto todos los sonidos cuando alguien trata de traducir del Español al Inglés! JA! Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

I hear you say the truth must take a beating.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let's get our rant on, shall we?

1. I am too old for public drunks. Don't get me wrong, I like partaking in shenanigans from time to time, but I'm over being a drunken disaster. At this point in my life, if I was the woman a few rows in front of us at Lady Gaga who was passed out in her $88 seat BEFORE  Gaga even went on, I wouldn't consider it my greatest achievement. Apply that to the woman next to us who smelled like last night's party, and the 4 sorority girls behind us who spilled wine on the poor gay next to me, lost a cell phone, clocked me in my melon, and spoke at volumes that rival me when I'm on my celly. Get a grip, people. There has to be more substance to you than the size of your throbbing liver, though I doubt it.

2. And speaking of Gaga, who I love and adore...there is no excuse for going on stage 90 minutes late when it's a week night, I don't care who you are or where you're from. And if you go on 90 minutes late, at least acknowledge it. Take responsibility for your actions. And wipe that sourpuss off your face. You deserved the boos you got.

3. When is Mariah Carey going to announce the names of her twins?? I am obsessed with names, especially with middles names, and I neeeeed to know! What's the point on holding out? SPILL IT, CAREY!

4. I watched the royal wedding and while Morrissey may have had a problem with it, I enjoyed it. It was like watching Cinderella or something. Almost doesn't seem like real life. Not quite sure why so many people had to bash it. Jealousy? Boredom? I don't know. I don't care. I enjoyed the flash and glitter.

5. I despise the animation in Adult Swim's new cartoon, Super Jail. I will not be watching it, no matter how hilarious it might be.

6. I painted Spencer's nursery yesterday while listening to AFI. I even edged, which I never do. When it was finished, I felt very accomplished. I'm so glad that I'm in a position right now to give him such a rad room (and his OWN room at that). Todd is paying for the crib tonight and then we're on the hunt for vintage Sci-Fi posters and toy robots!

7. OK, so Osama Bin-Laden is dead. How long will militants vs. pacifists be spewing over the subject on Facebook? I want both sides to stop shoving stuff in my eyeballs. Can't we get back to what's REALLY important in this country?? Will Ferrell might shave off Conan O'Brien's BEARD tonight! Now that's what matters to me!

8. Male exotic dancers are creepy.

9. Lots of good shows are coming up (Big Sandy, Reverend Horton Heat, S.C.O.T.S.). I can guarantee that you'll find me at the Horror of 59/Cult of the Psychic Fetus show next Friday and the New Bomb Turks show in June. Oddly enough, both shows coinside with wedding weekends. This means boatloads of fun and new shoes for mama! Pregnant in heels, baby! Or maybe wedges would be safer since clumsiness is my calling card. Regardless, I'm looking forward to getting dolled up and hitting the town.

10. Help me, Obi-Wan. You're my only hope.

I roam from town to town. I go through life without a care.

Our New York adventure was beyond what I could have possibly imagined. I have been there before but never did the touristy thing, never saw the sights. And I was never with this awesome a group of people: John Jackson, Sharon D., and my hubby. I now officially <3 NY. I want to die in Central Park...but not Law and Order: SVU style.

We left at 2:00am with yours truly behind the wheel. Time seemed to fly by (with the help of 250 jams of the 80s) and before you knew it, it was morning in the financial district of NYC and we were dropping our bags at the Downtown Marriott.

FRIDAY

We walked to Battery Park and had an NY hot dog while checking out the Statue of Liberty. The weather was a little chilly but nice for a day of hardcore walking around. We checked out Wall St. and the cemetery at Trinity Church. That church blew my mind and for a good portion of the trip was my favorite thing. Utterly beautiful. Stopped at the seaport and had lunch at the NY Merchant Cafe and then went to our room for a cat nap in the most comfy beds on the planet. But on the way back to our hotel, we stopped at Ground Zero which was around the corner. It was really incredible...heartbreaking and mind blowing.

Post-nap we went to Times Square. The plan was to go to MoMA but the line was around the corner (damn art lovers) so we changed gears and wandered through Rockefeller Center then went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. The Lady Gaga statue was my favorite, of course, but I wish it would've been a little less crowded. We hit the subway (I was a pro by the time we left) and grabbed a slice on the chilly patio at some pizza joint on Bleeker St. in the Village. Does that need to be capitalized? Make a note next time you're in NYC...that particular pizza place serves Presidente.

A lot was crammed into the first day. I was proud of myself AND Spencer for doing as much as we did.

  

SATURDAY
First thing on this verrrrry rainy day, we headed back to Times Square where I had left my heart the previous evening and grabbed some coffee (peppermint hot chocolate for me and the monster) to warm up. There's a booth in the square that sells same-day discount tickets for Broadway shows. Lo and behold, they had tickets for the matinee showing of the Addams Family musical for 50% off! That had Todd and me written all over it, and it was Sharon's first musical.

To kill time, we walked to Central Park and stopped in at the Jekyll and Hyde Club for a drink ($3.25 for a soda...I'm still on fire about it). That was one of the major places on my list that I wanted to see and it was a BUST. The more I think about that mess, the happier I am that we didn't eat dinner there as planned. Moving on, we waltzed with our umbrellas around the horse and carriages at Central Park where we saw obvious SVU "raping spots" and I educated Sharon on roofies. Then we headed back to the Lunt-Fontaine theater (and passed Le Bernardain on the way!!!) to dry off and wait for the show.

The theater was beautiful (I'm glad I wore a hat, it made me feel more New York) and somehow we ended up with amazing 11th row seats! It felt very romantic somehow. And the show was very charming, though I would've paid to punch the lisping kid that played Pugsley. PUNCH! When we exited the theater, the rain had stopped and we headed back to the Village for lunch at Jack's French Bistro and a walk through Washington Square Park. Lots of cute pups and adventurous squirrels. A drink at the Slaughtered Lamb Pub and Jekyll and Hyde's Bar and Grill (FAR superior to the club, though they sure do push the shots) and then we were back at the hotel, resting our tired bones. Another A+ day.

EASTER SUNDAY
We woke up to a BEAUTIFUL day, warm and sunny - heavenly, and had breakfast (banana split pancakes) at a local deli. Sharon parted ways with us to spend time with her step-sister who lives in NYC. It was just me and my dudes, left to our own devices, under the beautiful NYC sun. It always stuns me how a lovely day can make you feel.

First, we saw where John Lennon was shot (OK, not so lovely) and walked through Central Park where I fell in love twice, with the park and with my husband (again). He made sure that I saw (almost) everything I wanted to and that the monster and I got the attention we needed.Yeah, I LOVED the park, can't stress it enough. If I lived in NY, I would spend as much time as possible there, but maybe all non-New Yorkers think that way. If only I had a sketchbook. We walked to the MET and then back to the American History Museum. We could have spent DAYS in that museum but our feet, backs, legs would NOT allow it. We restaurant hopped until we settled on Lansky's Jewish Deli for our Easter feast. I loved Sunday. I felt like a new person...a new and VERY pregnant person! A happy person.

We went back to the hotel because 3 days of serious touring had wrecked us, physically and, for me, mentally. Sharon met up with us and after I rallied, we ended up in the hotel restaurant which was a fun time. It was a laid back and fun way to wrap up a trip that was go, go, go. I can't tell you how many times we were on the Subway but by the end of our trip, I felt like a pro. Lots of laughs that evening.

MONDAY

Monday morning we had our last NYC meal in the financial district, stopped in the Village one more time (picked up a 6-pack of Presidente, my favorite, to celebrate Spencer's birth when the time comes), and then checked out. Homeward bound. It was one of the first times post-trip that I wasn't dying to go home but wasn't dying to stay. Every minute of the trip was filled with something awesome and fun, and I'm sure that I have forgotten plenty of adventures we had. And I know there are plenty more adventures to be had since we didn't get to go to MoMA and missed out on Coney Island. I guess I'll just HAVE to go back in June for the Mermaid Parade!

New York was a dream. Everything I hoped for but nothing I expected. I needed to de-stress and I did. I spent time with good friends and a great husband in a city I thought I hated. And when I came home, my house was still standing and my dogs were still alive! It was the perfect long weekend and I wouldn't have done anything different. Except maybe brought a 2nd memory card. 400 pix just weren't enough!!!

But at least I have my favorite pic...father-n-son, loves of my life, in NYC.