Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Through a storm I called you.

Just when I think no one can possibly shock me anymore, it happens. People NEVER cease to amaze me, even the ones who are totally predictable and boring. And people who do things just to get a rise or reaction out of someone else...don't you have anything better to do? I'm tired of people playing games, saying one thing and doing another. William Miller was advised to build his reputation on being brutally honest. He was probably the last person that was ever suggested to (and yes, I know he's not a real person). I've tried to be brutally honest but it was always coated with worry of hurting someone's feelings. Everything is sugar coated or said in some awkward, veiled way. Bottom line: I wish people would just grow the fuck up. You don't have to get all old and serious and stale just because you've stopped acting like a spoiled child who thinks they're owed the world. I'm not excluding myself from this. I majorly suck sometimes.

That was a ramble. Directed at no one in particular.

And now I'm going to let myself be vulnerable, because I never am. I've got a sturdy wall around me thanks to some shady characters from my past. Anyway, here is my attempt to be vulnerable while also being brutally honest: 10 years ago, I randomly wrote you a letter after a few years no contact. You came to my 21st birthday party (at The Phantasy, sweet zombie Jesus) and it was like we never skipped a beat. I wish it was that easy...that I could send you another letter and you'd come to my 31st birthday party and it would be like we never skipped a beat. I know it won't happen, but I also know I wish it would from time-to-time. End transmission.

Tessa and I have our first workout "assessment" tonight and I'm pumped. In my opinion, the hard part is getting started. It's so easy to say you want to lose weight, eat better, be healthier but talk, talk, talking isn't doing a damn thing but making your jaw strong. Doing this together gives us an opportunity to motivate each other...because zombie Jesus knows that if I feel like being lazy and she still goes to workout, I'm going to go so I don't feel like an asshole. And vice versa. We're motivating each other to NOT be assholes. But I'm glad we're just getting poked-n-prodded today because I got ZERO sleep. I don't think it would be a great start to just keel over.

Got this yesterday. Sure made me feel awesome. Which I need.

"You have Dempsey's furiosity, Marciano's heart and Ali's character. I love you."



phoebe marie said...

"I've tried to be brutally honest but it was always coated with worry of hurting someone's feelings."

i hear that...

Meghan said...

L -
Feel free to email me.