Monday, August 30, 2010

Don't want to leave but we both know sometimes it's better to go.

My existence right now can only be categorized as "zombified".

Zombified and bloated. I've been eating and drinking my emotions.

My grandma died Saturday evening.

She was surrounded by family and they made a toast. My mom said it was very nice. I got to see her Friday afternoon and I'm glad I was at least there for my dad. I had already said my goodbyes at the hospital when they gave her Last Rites weeks ago so I just sat next to her. It was so quiet and sad while I was there. It's quiet and sad now.

I'm not good with sorting out my emotions, hence the high caloric intake. I am ingesting my emotions so I don't have to deal with them. There was bar grub and tall drafts, Macaroni Grill and Italian beer, home made comfort food and mudslides, and lots of things off the grill and out of our cooler. There has been a lot of face-stuffing since Wednesday when Santo went on an adventure that Shelby tried to re-enact on Friday.

Both dogs are safe at home, by the way.

And they both got to try Brie cheese, another thing on my emotional menu.

We did manage to have some fun this weekend outside of all the chowing. We had our first movie marathon at Grayskull watching Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Inglorious Basterds. We took the dogs for a walk to North Park and around the lake. Then we browsed the Halloween decorations at Pat Catan's. But yesterday was pitiful. I barely moved, unless it was to saute something. I am totally Eeyore today. I want to go back to bed.

I know that the first half of this week is going to be emotionally exhausting and awful. I'm hoping that the rest of the week and long weekend improves things. Thursday I'm going to see the Breeders with Switchblade. I took a personal day on Friday and will be celebrating 20 years of Lords of the Highway that night. And Saturday will be both awesome (tons of bands and loads of friends) and awful (fuck you, lung cancer) at the benefit for Brother Ed.

Sunday and Monday will be pure recovery...from everything.

Sigh, anniversary weekend can't come soon enough.


Camevil said...

So sorry. Death of older relatives/loved ones/pets is inevitable but still carries an emotional punch whether we're prepared for it or not

I learned with our dog that once you feed it cheese, they can never go back. It's like tasting blood for the first time. I'm scared for you.

Anonymous said...

Where can one find info on the fundraiser???

Miss Cleveland 1979 said...

It's this Saturday at Peabody's at 7:00, I think. Tickets are $10 advance and $12 day of show.

Ringworm, Keelhaul, Cult of the Psychic Fetus, Horror of 59, Madison Crawl and more.

Hosted by The Ghoul.

Anonymous said...