Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Things were good when we were young.

Todd and I had such a fun night, or evening, I guess. I like when he thinks I'm funny. Of course, I always think I'm a laugh riot. But it's always cool when he thinks something I'm doing is funny, rather than embarrssing. Like "Finger Lickin' Strip Tease", which he had never seen before last night. So it was a fun evening, but it was a rough night, for both of us, but I think I'll throw a pity party for me because that's what I feel like doing.

I can NEVER sleep, but last night was especially bad. And he was right there with me. Awake and fussy. We were both annoyed and annoying and fussy and well aware of the fact that it was 3:30am. Usually, even with my horrific sleep patterns, I just wake up and fall back asleep many times during the night. Last night, I woke up and that was that (I did have a dream about werewolves that was not as clear as my dream about vampires...I for SURE can not read before bed anymore).

And I'm sick again. I think that was the root of waking up and staying up. I have a monster cough. A horrible, core shaking cough. Every time I coughed or tried to clear my sinuses, Todd would moan slightly like he could feel my pain. I wanted to get tender with him since we were both awake, but even my teeth hurt from coughing. I couldn't imagine how my internally icy-cold chest would have felt with his weight on me.

I don't want to be sick again, even if it is just a cold. My mom has noticed that over the last year or so, I've been sick far less than at other points in my life. But being ill, with different symptoms, twice in 8 days? It's not only bad for my body but my mind. Makes me feel a little defeated. I know I'm bitching. Like I said, pity party. We did get the wedding invitations...that is lifting my spirits.

I was just reminded me that this is the one year anniversary of something very sad that happened in our family. So maybe my spirits aren't so lifted. Carol and I were just having a conversation yesterday about how last summer was just painful all around for alot of people. I told her I didn't want to sound hippy dippy, but maybe we should embrace the pain. Acknowledge it, acknowledge that it sucks even though it happened last year, and then let it go. Rinse-n-repeat as many times as necessary. And screw you, last summer.

Trucking on.

Signing off, rather.

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