And when I could, I gave strength to you.

This is it. Tonight starts my last weekend before the art show. No more excuses. No more procrastination. Anything new I want to do, anything I need to finish, any edges, any touch ups. This is the final lap before the goods get delivered to Low Life next Wednesday...and then are up for grabs to the masses from August 7th to the 30th. And I'm prepared. I know what I have to do. I'm focused. I need to load up on any last minute supplies and WORK. Todd has already been instructed to feed and water me. I am ready.

Except that I'm not.

Because I'm sick.

I just have to suck it up and push through it. I know this. Believe me, right before "PAINT EDGES" and "DO TOUCH UPS" on my list are "SUCK IT UP" and "PUSH THROUGH IT". Whenever I start feeling especially emotional (yes, I've had odd emotions during this illness) or the pain intensifies, I find that singing "Rufus Xavier Sarsparilla" to myself helps.

Sure, it doesn't get rid of that knot in my chest and it doesn't make my barking cough go away and it doesn't help me sleep peacefully through the night, waking up refreshed...but somehow, it helps. It makes me feel like me...which I don't right now because of the fucking sicks.

I have to miss Road Rash Bash in order to get ready for the art show (in addition to not wanting to spread the germs around). Carol is being comforting reassurring me that a lot of our usual pals are missing out this year. But already I missed Heavy Rebel, too. And I might miss Mark The Shark's party at Sugar's. I even missed Nolan's 1st birthday because I've been up to my ears in SHTUFF! Yes "shtuff" is being checked off the ist every day. Still...ugh...I'm starting to have emotions again.

Whew! I could say that, but I don't have to. Cause I got pronouns, I can say, "HE found a kangaroo that followed HIM home and now IT is HIS". You see, (uh) HE, HIM, and HIS are pronouns replacing the noun Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla, a very proper noun. And IT is a pronoun, replacing the noun, kangaroooooooooo! (How common!)

I feel better already!

Things were good when we were young.

Todd and I had such a fun night, or evening, I guess. I like when he thinks I'm funny. Of course, I always think I'm a laugh riot. But it's always cool when he thinks something I'm doing is funny, rather than embarrssing. Like "Finger Lickin' Strip Tease", which he had never seen before last night. So it was a fun evening, but it was a rough night, for both of us, but I think I'll throw a pity party for me because that's what I feel like doing.

I can NEVER sleep, but last night was especially bad. And he was right there with me. Awake and fussy. We were both annoyed and annoying and fussy and well aware of the fact that it was 3:30am. Usually, even with my horrific sleep patterns, I just wake up and fall back asleep many times during the night. Last night, I woke up and that was that (I did have a dream about werewolves that was not as clear as my dream about vampires...I for SURE can not read before bed anymore).

And I'm sick again. I think that was the root of waking up and staying up. I have a monster cough. A horrible, core shaking cough. Every time I coughed or tried to clear my sinuses, Todd would moan slightly like he could feel my pain. I wanted to get tender with him since we were both awake, but even my teeth hurt from coughing. I couldn't imagine how my internally icy-cold chest would have felt with his weight on me.

I don't want to be sick again, even if it is just a cold. My mom has noticed that over the last year or so, I've been sick far less than at other points in my life. But being ill, with different symptoms, twice in 8 days? It's not only bad for my body but my mind. Makes me feel a little defeated. I know I'm bitching. Like I said, pity party. We did get the wedding invitations...that is lifting my spirits.

I was just reminded me that this is the one year anniversary of something very sad that happened in our family. So maybe my spirits aren't so lifted. Carol and I were just having a conversation yesterday about how last summer was just painful all around for alot of people. I told her I didn't want to sound hippy dippy, but maybe we should embrace the pain. Acknowledge it, acknowledge that it sucks even though it happened last year, and then let it go. Rinse-n-repeat as many times as necessary. And screw you, last summer.

Trucking on.

Signing off, rather.

Now my bad dream is my best friend.

Phoebe and I...

Interruption! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHEE-BIZZLE!! I love you!

...were talking about how dreams are not predictions of the future. Rather, they are your brain's way of working things out from your life. Randomly, I had been having weird wedding dreams, mainly about things not being done on time. Todd had one, too, Wednesday night. He didn't put his mohawk up and we never got the marriage license. But that all makes sense because there are 54 days until the wedding and so much left to do. I'll give you those dreams, brain.

But what is my brain trying to work out when I have a way too realistic dream...I guess you could call it a dream...where I was really trying to enjoy my sleep because once Todd and I become vampires, we won't sleep anymore...? What is my brain working out THEN? I'm sure it all came about because I had been reading "Breaking Dawn" before bed but it was just too real. "I wonder if I'll miss sleeping when we're vampires. I really love sleeping. Maybe I won't even notice. Edward and Bella bone alot since Bella was changed, and I can handle that. But sleeping...I hope I don't miss it, too much. I better snuggle up closer on Todd". Bizarre. No more books before bed. I'm cutting myself off.

I'm feeling better, to all who have wondered. I have new symptoms...sneezing, coughing, gooey nastiness attempting to escape from my lungs. But it's all gravy compared to the ear horrors of last week. Thanks to everyone who checked up on me.

Wedding is getting close. Art show is even closer. This weekend, I saw a bunch of pals I haven't seen in a while since I've been a hermit. A lot of them told me how pumped they are for both events. I expect people to be into the wedding cause...free food, open bar, me in a CHURCH, hilarious hijinx. But it meant so much more that people are rallying for the art show. It's my baby, after all. I didn't really get anything done this weekend...shame on me. But that doesn't mean I didn't have fun. Hell, I bowled a strike while Slack Jawed Yokels were playing on the LANES! It doesn't get much better than that. And as a side note...my friends and my life are pretty rad. These people know how to have FUN. I'd fight a tiger for almost every one of those crazy bananas.

Someone I've never met before told Todd that I looked like a brunette Gwen Stefani (Todd said I was far superior). I'm lucky I didn't slack my throat open with the closest pointy object! That girl is all gums. But anyway...it was important to Todd that I meet some important people in his life this weekend...I did...and they liked me! What's not to like? Regardless, it's always nice to be liked.

Again, let me say...HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHOEBE! xoxoxo

I color your world blue!

Tessa offered to sing me a song since I'm still not feeling well. She sang me "Sleep" by Lagwagon. It made me very, very happy. Not only happy because I think that is one of the sweetest songs on the planet, but because she offered to sing it to me. Even if that meant e-mailing me the lyrics since my ear hurts. Thank you, Onion Head.

So as you gathered above, I'm still sick. Suck-o.

But my mood has improved somehow. I may have let stress bubble over which lead to yelling and being yelled at but I think that was healthy...cause I feel extra light now. And we're going to my parents' to stuff wedding invitations tomorrow so that is mega-exciting. And I talked to Little Jen yesterday about her baby shower and her belly and just hearing her voice made me feel fizzy and light! All those things combined have me feeling slightly more solid, even if it still feels like there's a ritual sacrifice lead by hyenas taking place in my ear.

In one day...ONE day...I finished 100 pages of a book, read an ENTIRE book (I think it was 560-ish pages) and got to page 287 in another. I forgot how much I LOVE reading. Reading things OTHER than trashy celeb gossip magazines, which I also love. And you can make fun of me since I was reading the "Twilight" series but I don't care. Screw you. I love to read. I love books. How they look and smell and feel. I love how I feel when I'm reading. If I wasn't dead set on getting "HIGH FIVE" on my knuckles, "BOOK WORM" would be good, too...but I AM dead set.

My ear hurt so badly on Tuesday that television was out...as was sleeping. So I read. And when I finished "New Moon", Todd and Aiden hustled out and nabbed me "Eclipse" which is by FAR my favorite. That made Todd happy to hear. I can't wait to finish it and move on to "Breaking Dawn". But then what will I do?? Without the Cullens?? Sigh. I guess it's back to celebrity autobiographies. I hate you, Anthony Kiedis. Any suggestions?

My weekend is jam-packed which has my head a-spinnin'. Painting tonight to make up for NOT painting on Saturday since I've committed myself to an entire day of friends, bands and bowling. Back-tracking to Friday...picking up invites, dress fitting, envelope stuffing pizza party. Plus painting. Gotta squeeze that in.

Then Saturday, as I said, is the Bowl-a-Rama thingamajig that I've been psyched about. Horror of 59s last show and a special performance from Slack Jawed Yokels!!! Plus plenty of others bands I'm pumped to see. Still haven't see the Lords since Sugar left and Jimbo joined. I'm mostly pumped to hang with pals. And nothing is better than a bowling alley grilled cheese!

Sunday is all about painting...AFTER I do Finger Lickin' Strip Tease and reprise my roll as the trailer park bride for the "Jesus County Fair" DVD. I can't WAIT for that sucker to come out! I have such an odd life and know such odd people. ROCK! I guess I could sit home and knit scarves or something but I'd much rather do a strip tease in a chicken suit for a DVD filled with my friends being lunatics...or hang out at a local bowling alley with a local car club and my local rock-n-rolly pals being bananas!

Outside of pooling blood in my ear, La vita è buona!

AND YOU CAN'T MAKE IT STOP!

Pain. Plain vanilla pain.

I'm in pain. Agonizing, unbelieveable, begging to temporarily end your life kind of pain. I could compare it to emotionally pain, which is typically the WORST kind of pain. Where you roll up in a ball and sob from your very core, your eyelids swell, and things you didn't know could ache, ache. You're fairly certain you'll never catch your breath, you can't sit, lay, or stand still, and there's no possibility of sleep because your brain will not shut off even for a brief moment. You're fucked. You're stuck until something inside you heals itself. I know you know what I mean. If you have a vagina, you've had this kind of emotional pain.

Now keep that feeling, the side effects of emotional pain, but make it physically based. The pain is physical but it's gut wrenching and...it's torture. That is where I'm at right now. I feel emotionally wrecked due to physical pain. Oh, and I might murder someone because of it. So I guess we can throw a little psychology into the mix. Do you think I'm being melodramatic? I'm a being a little coo-coo bird? I don't even fucking care at this moment in time. There's a hole in my eardrum and it is currently ruining both my life and my ability to care about others or the way they perceive my emotional/physical/mental cocktail of pain. Everyone can just jump off a bridge right now. And if they're too chicken to jump, I'll push 'em. Hope you can swim.

Enough drama. Let's get serious.

After a pretty rad date weekend with my mate, and hitting the "2 months to go" mark on the wedding countdown, I went to bed in a happy and descent mood. I woke up to pain. Insert whatever horrific adjectives you want in front of "pain"...it still won't be good enough to describe how I feel. There was tossing and turning and tears...I ended up with Strep, a 101 fever, and a ruptured eardrum, the later of which is pushing me to my limits. I've never felt anything like it (well, I HAVE because it's happened before, but I was wee and don't recall the horror). Every sound...every airplane, every dog bark, every high-pitched voice...is ready to unleash the potential murderer in me. So steer clear.

There aren't enough Snickers in the WORLD to soothe me.

I know what comfort you are.

There is a song called "Capsized" by a band named Enormous. I got the CD in a grab bag from Perry's Rockpile when it was still open. Any free money I had EVER in high school was spent there on band t-shirts and stickers. Not the point. The point is, I thought this CD was going to be utter garabage and maybe it was. But that song..."Capsized"...it's in my head. I can't shake it. And I can't find the CD anywhere. In fact, I think the last time I heard that song was on a casette tape I made when I still had a Ford Explorer. I need to hear it. I need to sing it at the top of my lungs and get it out of my brain. So someone...for crying out loud...find it for me! And while you're at it, find "Beer, Beer and 15 Year Olds" by Grand Prixx. It was on a Lab Rat Records comp. I need that too...in order to maintain sanity.

"Good Luck painting all weekend...I just couldn't have that kind of love for something.. I'm really proud of you for sticking with this for so long. : )".

More words of encouragment, this time from Tessa. It's good to be getting these pats on the back. Now is the time that I need them. Now is the time I need cheerleaders. I have 3 weekends left...can't ask for an extension, can't add more days to the month. I am transporting all of the paintings to the gallery on Wednesday August 5th and then they'll be hung. I think it's going to blow my mind seeind all of my hard work up there on the walls. I appreciate everyone's support. I know I've been sort of M.I.A. I also know I've been cranky...my back and neck and hands get sore. I don't stop to eat. I can't sleep most nights. So just know I appreciate every kind word and gesture. Enough with the sap.

This weekend, I hae quite a few things to mix in with the paint. Tattoo removal, Sasquatch and the Sickabillies, hanging out with Tom & Carol & Todd, making chicken paprikash, reading "Twilight" and then "New Moon", and at SOME point...I need to start weeding my house out. The wedding shower is in 24 days and I'd like to get the old stuff and stuff we don't need (a.k.a. clutter) out before bringing all the new stuff IN. When we get back from our honeymoon, I want to just be able to LIVE and not have to spend an eternity trying to make things organized! So...yeah...add that nonsense to my "To Do" list.

So even if everything is bananas, life is still good.

You get the picture!

I just had some Sugar Babies for the first time in probably 23 years and my teeth are screaming! These things are pure...sugar! I'm going to be jacked up for the rest of the day. I already feel twitchy and cr-r-r-r-racked out. My Weasel had a dentist appointment the other day and while there, he made an appointment for me! You may not think that's romantic but I do. I'm all about dental hygeine and I want these chompers to be pearly white on wedding day. Exam, cleaning, whitening...BOOKED!

Marie sent me a message/comment saying we should have a date to see "New Moon as new wives". Adorable. I'm so there. I'm supposed to get hooked up with both the "Twilight" and "New Moon" books tomorrow...need to be prepared for the big premier in November (did I mention that Todd hid my "Twilight" DVD? Mean, mean man). I can't believe I have PLANS in November already. My life is just go go go!

Tonight I think I'm supposed to go go go to yoga. But I'm not. It DID make me sleep like a lion (they sleep 20 hours a day) and for that reason, I WILL go back. But today, I'm tired, I have stabbing abdominal pains for some wacky reason (they seem to be going around), and I really just feel like chillaxing with Todd. The odds of my getting him to go to yoga are slim to none. I'm thinking a drink, some food, maybe some Netflix. I could stand to get out of the house for awhile, I'll tell you that much. The weekend ahead sees me house bound and covered in paint. But it also sees us at Sasquatch and the Sickabillies! YEEEEEHAW!

So what else?

My arm is bleeding. That is not normal. And I can SMELL the blood. Maybe I'm a VAMPIRE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Now I'm just rambling. I'll blame it on the Sugar Babies. On a side note, I would like to say the following things:

1. Phoebe, please cheer up. if I have a depressed non-wife, people will start to suspect non-spousal abuse. Turn your frown upside down.

2. Lisa, it was good to talk to you for 5 seconds the other day. I REALLY hope you and Ben make it to the wedding. I miss you. My fingers-n-toes are crossed.

3. Carol, I can't wait to hang out on Saturday! It's in HUGE letters on my calendar! I just want to see your smiling face and Tom's bald head.

Thank you and GOOD NIGHT!

Her's is the tonic and mine is the gin!

Oh, you dare me???!?!? You DARE ME, Phoebe Marie????

I don't NEED to be dared!!

STAY TUNED!

Now it's up to me...what will be.

I can not wrap my mind around the fact that "She's Gone" is NOT on Hall and Oates Greatest Hits! Who was in charge of picking the jams for this compilation? It's unacceptable. And it's even MORE unacceptable that I've had this disc for YEARS and just noticed the omission now. I shouldn't even be allowed to call myself a fan. But I will cause who are YOU to tell me what to do?? You're probably the person who forgot to put "She's Gone" on the list! Case closed.

ONWARD!

I painted all weekend. Every free second I had, I was parked at my station and buckled! It was the most focused I have been since the show got booked. I finished a painting I had started last week ("Bride of Frankenberry") and did nine more. That's right...NINE (one that Todd titled "Carrot Orgy"). And I've got to say...they're pretty rad and I'm proud of myself. Being PROUD of myself is a new feeling. I need to ride this wave for awhile. And even better than ME being proud, is making other people proud. Like Todd, who loves when I paint. And like Carol, who said, "I'm really proud of how hard you're working to get your show together. U r inspiring me". Made me blush a little. I like the warm and fuzzies I've had lately.

But there are only 3 available weeks/weekends left which would normally make me panic. Yes, I work best under pressure so I know that I'll come out on top. But since I've been so productive the past 2 weeks, I just have to convince myself that I'll meet my goal. I've lowered my goal but I still feel it's solid...50 small to large paintings and 20 of the Teeny Tiny collection w/ mini easels. Now if by some chance I meet my original goal (60/30), it will be a bonus. I can do this. "Cannibalicious!" is going to be great. Thanks to all my pals for being encouraging and awesome. Oh, and thanks in advance for buying paintings. You're GRRRRRREAT!

ROCK!

I'll do almost anything that you want me to.

Yoga. I survived it.

And survived is not me exaggerating in any way. It was MUCH harder than when I've used my yoga videos at home (and had the option of slacking). My entire body, head to toe was worked out and today, I'm happy to report that I'm having a hard time slouching. My ruff posture was brought to my attention yesterday...but if I stood at my full (almost) 5'8"...my boobs would knock your lights out or puncture your heart. Depending on YOUR height.

So...yoga. What's to say?

I think I am a little jaded in a way. I don't buy into all the incense and chanting and new age babble so it was hard for me not to laugh at times. And when I was supposed to be emptying my mind...I wasn't. I think it will probably get easier for me to clear my mind and focus when I learn more of the poses and improve my form. My eyeballs were all over the room to make sure I was doing thins correctly. Yeah...Phoebe, Lisa and I were the tattooed black sheep of yoga. But I expected nothing else.

Some of the poses/movements/whatever, I was really good at. Like I said, I'm flexible. But on the other hand...I have zero-to-no balance. And when you have no balance and are clumsy like me, things can get sketchy. Though I am not the person who feel on their butt during a simple squat (and THAT is why I love you). But with my balance and weird backward bending knees...my legs were a-shakin'. But it will get better. I can go to 10 more classes before the wedding and that can only help in my body improvement efforts. So despite the mumbo jumbo and little things that I struggled with...it was worth it. I could have seen myself bailing on it but I didn't. So...gold star for me. And Phoebe. And Lisa.

And I slept solidly for the first time in a long time, just like the instructor said I would. And while my body doesn't feel sore, it does feel different. Like I said, I'm having a hard time rocking the sunken emo posture today. In the middle of the night, Todd gave my back and belly a rub down which added to the whole relaxation effort. I could stand to relax. I'm holding 8+ months of wedding planning stress. That's probably why I slouch.

OH! And speaking of that whole relaxing thing...at one point during some goofball part where you lay on the ground with your eyes closed, breathing (as if you had a choice), the instructor came around and she rubbed behind my ears and my forehead (she didn't it to everyone...I wasn't special, or molested). I felt sooooo relaxed at the moment and also very emotional for whatever reason. That was my emo moment while others decided to get emo during the whole "ooooooooooooooom" moment. That was the moment I got cynical again.

So yoga. Looks like I'll be going back next week.

By the wedding, I'll be 6'2" and unstoppable!

And it wouldn't be the same without you!

I guess since this is wedding-related, it could and maybe SHOULD go in the Skunk-n-Weasel wedding blog. But despite it's wedding-relatedness...it's actually Phoebe-centric. Yes, ladies-n-germs, I am going blather for a minute about how awesome Phoebe is and how she should be cloned and distributed. But only to the worthy. I finally got to spend some one-on-one time with Bizzle last night which just reignited my love for her. Her non-husband better watch out!

So last night I met up with Phoebe and for whatever reason, as soon as I sat down, all the stress I had recently been experiencing popped right into my brain! And then out of my mouth! I made a "To Do" list, if you will, for Phoebe which made me feel like a royal scumbag! But she is my MOH and my go-to gal and unfortunately, there were a few things I needed to go-to her for. The wedding is only 74 days away. That's really not a lot of time and there really IS a lot to do. I have to be more organized that I ever have before! Hence...the list.

And she was majorly receptive! We quickly went item by item and she made notes and suggestions and was just...on top of it all. I can honestly say that she has not turned down one thing I've asked her and has been utterly helpful from square one. But I was still all full of stress. Things went sooooooo easily in the beginning and now, with the loose ends, it's starting to get difficult. But she squeezed me (not in a filthy way) and licked my arm (also not in a filthy way) and told me I was allowed to be stressed and jittery. Thank God!

She also fed me beer as this wedding has made me poor-n-thirsty.

I still feel kind of like a little snake for handing her a list. It's not at all like I'm commanding her to do my bidding. But it feels that way. Besides what she's already done, she's in charge of the ceterpieces for the reception, securing the gifts for my gals, possible making my wedding necklace, and helping get the bachelorette par-tay thing-a-ma-jig organized. She's even going to help do Todd's hair on wedding day!!! I'd have dropped dead long ago without her help. So thank you, Phoebe. For everything you've done, everything you're doing, for letting me freak out and stress out and ramble and just been nutty. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. And how much Todd appreciate's it. And I'm sure you'll appreciate when this whole thing is over. I don't blame you.

But I do love you.

Hold on, hold on, hold on to what you've got.

1. This was the first year that I missed Heavy Rebel. Some of the usual suspects were taking a year off so that was comforting. I wasn't the only dud. But then again...I missed some radness. Like Lisa being there. And Carol (Miss Firecracker One-Woman Band) playing in the jailhouse. The more I think about it all, the sadder I am. But there just wasn't money...or time. Next year...when I'm a married woman with an art show under my belt...I'll be there. And I'll have more fun than anybody else. But for now...sulking.

2. I'm going to yoga with Phoebe this week. Should be interesting. I'm already uber-flexible so I'm taking this as an opportunity to hang with Phoebe and destress. You all know I've been going bananas lately with everything that's on my plate. Even though I don't believe in all this new-age hooey, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try and "get centered" or "harness my chi" or something. Plus, anything that makes me leaner gets an A+ in my book.

3. Speaking of getting leaner...I've been fluctuating between a 9 - 15 pound weight loss. Patting myself on the back. Patting myself on the ASS! Todd noticed I had lost but didn't notice I had gained...that's how I like it. And we're both pretty fond of the way this vessel is shaping up. Now it's just time to tone. Which includes sweating and effort...which can be sucko. I think I know an activity that suits me and my purpose which Todd cvan participate in! Va-VOOM! Enough smut. Like a lot of chix, I sometimes in the past have had body image issues. Even when I was STICK THIN, it wasn't enough. This is enough. I feel really good in my skin right now. My goal to be a bad ass bride is well within reach.

4. Stemming from above...things in the "Va-VOOM" department have been extra Va-VOOMY recently. I don't want to burn your eyeballs out with the gorey and possibly illegal details...and I don't want to enduce cookie-tossing by talking about how our room smells...and it probably would do you no good (unless you need to be pushed over the edge) to talk about how sore I am...but yeah. Drink that all in! I'm smutty and I'm not afraid to admit it!

5. I saw the "New Moon" trailer for the first time and now I'm counting down the days until November. Luckily, the art show (August), wedding-n-honeymoon (September), and They Might Be Giants (October) will help the time fly. I was late to jump on the "Twilight" band wagon so I am determined to see this one in the theater at LEAST once. I've heard that Edward is absent for a portion of the book so I will use that portion of the film to use the can. My sister has Jasper as a back up. I have no back up. I'm all Edward all the time.

6. I don't care what anyone says. When "More Than a Feelin'" by Boston comes on the radio, you just HAVE to get happy. Especially if you hear it in a car on a nice day and your windows are down. I'm not a big fan of "classic rock" but that song works. So does "Cosmic Thing" by B-52s. Sure, it's totally goofy and ridiculous but I love it. You can't NOT be in a good mood when you hear that song. I love music. I miss going to shows non-stop. I hope Sasquatch lets me slap him across the face!

7. I was unsatisfied with the photos I had previously had of my paintings for "Cannibalicious!" so yesterday, I took all new pics. I posted them (on Face Space, of course) and I'm getting really good feedback. Everyone is going bananas over "Angry Breakfast"...like anyone could resist it. I think I should force the 2 highest bidders to compete for it in a luchador style wrestling match right there in the gallery. That won't happen in reality...but it will in my brain! I picked up the promo cards and will be distributing them like MAD. BEWARE!

8. Jen just told me that when they baby kicks, she can see it from the outside now. I miss her so much and I'm so pumped to meet my nephew! I've never been a big fan of other people's kids. There were random gems that I latched on to but as a whole...eh. Then Jen May had my boyfriend, Nolan. He's rad in every way and he's going to be 1 this week! ADORE that kid. And I've adored Jen's baby from the time her third preggo test and it read PREGGO! While I don't look forward to giving birth feeling like "doing the splits on a crate of dynomite", I look forward to cooking up a little monster. Soon. Sorry Phoebe. You'll be an aunt even if you ARE allergic to children.

9. I can't believe it's July 6th! This year is flying by at warp speed! I'm going to be a wife soon. REALLY soon. Not as soon as Marie, but SOON! And after that, Jen will be a mommy! This all blows my mind. If you would have asked me last year what I thought would happen THIS year...Jen becoming a parent and me becoming a wife would NOT have been on that list. I guess it's nice to still be shockable in good ways. It's the horrific shocks that my mind can't handle. But everyone I knew who was suffering last year has mended and they rock harder than ever. Thumbs up, 2009!

10. I love you.

I knew that it was now or never!

The following entry has been rated R by me...and I am the only person who can rate my own life. Children, pregnant people, assholes, and the elderly should probably just shut this page now and save themselves the potential exposure to smut. You've been warned, suckahs.

*blushing*

I just wrote all kinds of repulsive, sloppy, slutty details about my misadventures with the fiancee last night but I had to erase them. As the kids would say, it was just TMI. I love you all and don't want my night time (and middle of the night time) extra-curriculars to make you throw up on whatever is nearest to your mouth. Just know that my toes are still curled, he thinks I'm a "foxy sexy love monger", and we're totally hardcore crushing...AGAIN!

I feel filthy. The good kind of filthy. Our hanky panky smutty stuff is always good, don't get me wrong. That is one area where no matter what else is going on, we clickity click! But there was something about last night. I can't quite peg it and I don't think he could either. And even better than the ACTUAL activities...was waking up 2:00am still rip-roarin' and ready to ravage and then listening to songs on the radio, laughing hysterically! It was a BLAST!

A 3 day weekend (4 for little ol' me) of just him and me and whatever the f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fudge we want to do! My heart is breakdancing in anticipation of the laws we might break together over the next span of days. We can't stop thinking about each other today! I just got a text with the word "boner" in it. Tell me this isn't high school????

I LOVE MY LIFE!