Saturday, July 30, 2005

Some money & a honey & some whiskey & a gun.

All my thoughts are with Queen B today and yours should be too.

I was having a horrific nightmare about putting the stamp on someone...yeah, you know who...and it was one of those dreams that was so overly upsetting, I could feel the hair standing up on the back of my neck. And then I heard 'Footloose', which just didn't seem to fit the mood. Somehow Queen B knew just when to call and she freed me from my bad dreams...but she had bad news.

Her step-father, who has really been like a father to her for the past 8 years, past away yesterday. He had become very ill, very quickly and this was probably for the best for him since he could barely function but still...it's so sad. She's so strong and was very worried about her mother and I am worried about her. I do not handle death well. I never know what to say to make someone else feel better. I just told her if she needed me, I'd be there.

And that's what's bugging me...I feel like I SHOULD be there. Going to a party seems so trivial now (that is NOT a put down...celebrating Phoebe's 30 birthday is VERY important to me and I've been looking forward to it). I just keep thinking, "What would I want people to do if this happened to me?". But there's really not much I could do if I went there today so I'm going to keep her and her mother in my thoughts and head out for a memorial service. This is such a bummer. That sounds like such a horrific way to describe it. "A bummer".

He told me that I should be a children's book illustrator. He liked Scotch and smoking, Kurt Vonnegut, Ernest Hemmingway, the Ohio State Buckeyes, and a good steak. He was a cool dude that constantly teased me for things going right over my head, in a playful way. Gone too soon.

You'll be missed.

I love you, Becky.

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