A really kickin' day is coming to a close. I've had a Colgate smile slapped wide all over my silly mug from the moment I walked into this joint. Sometimes, just lending an ear to someone who needs a good listener can change your whole mood. Your whole outlook. Your whole vagina.
I've had some ants-in-my-pants about my situation with my lovah-boy recently. But since I've decided to kick back and chillax, letting things happen as they happen, I've realized a few thing-a-ma-jigs. When he seems standoff-ish or angry or less than affectionate, I can't jump to the conclusion that it's because of me. He's got a life that could make any sane person berzerk. He has way more going on than me...he's a manager, he's an ex-husband, he's an ex-boyfriend, he's a dad. There's a lot sitting on his head and I don't want to add to that. I want to be the person he comes to to unload and not one of the reason he needs to unload. I've been being selfish and pushing and that's a great way to push someone right out of your life.
All of these words are mine, by the way. Not his.
And this may seem immature but it was when we started hardcore flirting again that I knew things were okie dokie. After getting my neck kissed (drives me BONKERS!) and a big fat smooch behind closed doors, along with some PG-13 dirty talk, I returned to my cubicle and declared, "WE'RE BACK!". And we are. And even if he's having a rough go of it, I know that all I can do is be a good listener, a good friend, and let him know that he can trust me no matter what. I think he gets that after today...after the past few days. I have high hopes that we'll end up in an official relationship but I'm not going to sweat so much for the time being. What we have is good...the way we goof off, the way we can't keep our hands off each other, the way we pick on each other. He walks by, I light up. I walk up, he can't take his eyes off me. It doesn't have to be anything other than what it is. He told me yesterday that things are usually end up great when you've been waiting awhile for something.
He was talking about sex but I think it still applies here.
I'm just very jazzed today and I'm sure I'll be even more jacked-up after I get to spend the evening with him tomorrow. And you know what? Even if he has to cancel on me, I'm not going to flip my lid. It's not me, it's just life. But after today, I'm pretty sure we'll end up shackin' up tomorrow. He didn't even want to leave my cubicle today, after all.
I'm 27 and life is good.
Other reasons life is currently good and all is gravy:
-Dinner with Johnny Switchblade tonight.
-Pussyfoot practice Thursday.
-Our May 6th promo poster.
-Shark Attack! Records and the Slack-Jawed Yokels.
-Carmen Electra Fit-to-Strip workout discs.
-TONS of shows coming up (Joe Buck, Wayne the Train, Deke).
-Spring Fever!!!
-Big Sis and Little Sis's 3 year at Heavy Rebel together!!!
-Phoebe's ever-increasing good mood.
-Clean house.
-NETFLIX.
And Leo. Can't get enough.
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