With a sunny smile and a witty eye.

The long weekend couldn't have come at a better time.

I'm sick, per usual. But really, I haven't been SUPER sick since...February. That's major. Regardless, I'm sick now but I refuse to let it ruin our long weekend and all the chilling we have planned. The only thing concerning me is that it started out as a head and sinus thing and now, I'm sure I feel something brewing in my chest.

Todd ordered me chicken soup from our Chinese joint (no chicken, extra noodles...he's so good to me) and said, "Are you OK?" which was followed by, "Of courrrrrse you're OK!  You have a face full of noodles!". I'm lucky to have someone that still loves me when I have miles of noodles hanging out of my mouth as I slurp soup all over the damn place.

An upside to being sick now? Hopefully it means I won't be sick when we go to Florida (in 13 days)! Unless this is one of those illnesses that likes to hold tight and never let go...which in my case would be ALL of them! But I'm thinking positive. In 13 days, there's nothing but fun on the agenda. I refuse to be sniffling and coughing poolside!

And to Carol High Hair: I love you. You're doing great.

Before you know, cars start to crash.

GRRRRRRRRRRAH!

I got in a car accident this morning. All parties involved are fine. Even the cars are fine. My frame of mind? Not so fine. It is absolutely NOT the way I wanted to start my day. And let me take this moment to say that I DESPISE motorcycles. Specifically the ones people call "crotch rockets". You think you're awesome buzzing by and weaving in and out of traffic? You're not. You're ass hats and I hate you.

So my day was set askew before 7:00. Awesome.

I'm trying to stay positive because we're creeping up on a long weekend but it's hard. I haven't really recovered from last weekend, to be honest. Still sort of blocking out life. On the agenda of potential awesomeness? Hanging with Ben and hearing tales of great adventure (and tastes of great tequila), spring cleaning and finishing the basement chill zone, going to a fun cookout then watching the Charlotte night race, and grilling up some ribs for the holiday. All of those things have potential to make me VERY happy.

Once I'm done being GRRRR. Umbrella drink, please.

We had found sacred ground.

Last night, I sprawled out in the grass in our backyard while the dogs played. I listened to my headphones and sang to them. It was breezey and warm and every once in awhile, Santo would come lay beside me. There was nothing beyond my headphones, the unconditional love of my dogs, and my yard. For those few hours, I had blocked out life.

But I don't want to block out life.

Let's get animal, animal. I wanna get animal.

Whose going to a 70s/80s running themed party tonight?

WE ARE!

I think I'm going for the 70s thing (pigtails, sweatbands, shiny short shorts and tube socks) and I think Todd is going more 80s for comfort (matching windbreaker jogging suit type deal and aviator sunglasses). I really wish I could him into an off the sholder, cut-off tummy shirt, a la Jane Fonda. But that might be asking a lot!

Stay tuned for photos on Stalking My Life!

We could say good night and stay together.

Last night was the pits. My skull agrees.

But on the other, and much more awesome, hand:

1. Todd, trying to cheer me up and put pep in my step, sent me the Adventure Time theme song (my new alarm clock tone), Finn's "Baby Song" from when he swallowed the tiny computer (my new ring tone), and Finn saying "SCHMOWZOW" (my new text alert). Earlier in the day, he said "YAY! bedtime with Finn.... PUKE" after learning that wonderful Windy is making me Finn's hat and awesome Jen May is making me his backpack. But then he sent me the tones...cause he looooooves me.

2. I lost 6 lucious and squishy pounds.

3. I'll probably gain it back tonight. We are having a steak date because we need to love each other over some meat. You can make that into something dirty if you want to...perverts.

4. We're going to Dave and Buster's on Saturday. Sometimes I hate going there on Saturday's because you have to stalk a table if you want to sit in the midway. But I don't care. I'm going to school Todd at hoops, play Raptor Captor tunil my eyes bleed, and get us that much closer to the Pac-Man machine that we need for the basement bar.

5. I BOOKED OUR HEAVY REBEL ROOM!
This doesn't change last night's suckage. But it helps.

I know it's me they're talkin' about.

I hate today.

It'll all pass and I'll feel upbeat and awesome again...

...BUT...

Right now, at this moment, I hate the living bejesus out of today and want to beat the tar out of it with these (*shakes fists*). And it's not just one thing. It's not just that today I found out we're 0 for 3. That stings horribly because hopes were (way too) high but hey, I guess I can have a frozen lemon martini in Disney World instead of morning sickness. And it means more trying, wink wink, nudge nudge. But still. We have names picked out, for crying out loud. We don't want to waste them on dogs. Honestly...I'm painfully bummed.

Like I said, it's not just that.

I have a very "don't give a fuck" attitude right now.  It's not pleasant, I know. I'm always "the backbone", the glue, the thinker and planner. Things get done because I get them done. I'm not complaining, I'm just making note.

Today, my Facebook (Lord help me) status was something like "I remember when all I had to worry about was what kind of ice cream I wanted, if I should play legos or Barbies, and what time The Muppet Show was on". Sure, I still have to decided what ice cream I want...and I worry about what I want to do on Saturday nights and have to remember what tim Adventure Time is on. But that's when I'm DONE dealing with the stress of being an ad-ult.

I need stress management skills beyond just talking to Todd. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm very lucky to have someone that loves me to help absorb my stress. But when there are 2 stressed people who love each other trying to absorb each other's stress...it's like QUAD-STRESS! And there's not enough tequila in the world to ease that successfully.

These is just a phase and it'll pass. It's like when whats-her-face painted all those flowers that look like vaginas. I just hope I snap out of it soon...like by the time I wake up tomorrow...because, well, no one wants a picture of flowers that look like vaginas. Am I right?

Working out helps. A little.

We're going to very...distant lands.

Is it just me, or is "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift today's teenagers' "Every Breath You Take"? Because it seems slightly stalkerish to me. It's just upbeat enough to come across as poppy and fun, but I bet behind her cat-like eyes, Taylor Swift is a freak.

Speaking of cats...or freaks...

I consider myself to be crafty in certain ways but not so much when it comes to sewing. Yeah, I've made purses and pillows and sure, I made my skunk costume for Halloween...but I was roadkill so it didn't have to be spot on. What does this have to do with cats?

I NEED someone with skills to make me a cat hat like Finn's. Last night I watched the 2 BEST episodes I have seen thus far and have been further sucked in to The Land of Ooo. In this first episode, there was a vampire queen AND Finn wore red jammies with a butt flap! In the second episode, dead people from the candy kingdom came back to life as sugar-hungry zombies and were squashed like piñatas!!

It blew my mind. I need the damn hat.

In other news that very few people care about, I started working out again last night. I haven't been feeling too awesome in my body lately and I typically love this broke down, busted machine. So it was time to get serious. I did a mile on my recumbent bike, several exercises for my abs and obliques, and used 5 lb. weights for my arms and shoulders (I looooove my shoulders).

Probably doesn't sound like a lot for my exercise junkie pals but I've been out of the game for awhile. I haven't been sick since February (I think) so now's the time to buckle down. What did I learn from day 1? My noodley little arms are damn strong. My core? Not so much. And I MAJORLY need to build up some endurance. I want to see what I can achieve in the next 3 weeks and then I'll switch it up. If my heart doesn't bust out of my chest and punch me in the eye.

This "plank" business can suck it!

I won't waste one single day.

Whenever anyone asks me to keep my fingers crossed, I always say I'll cross everything I can: fingers, toes, eyes, fallopian tubes, sometimes labia. But I never say legs! Or ARMS for that matter. Those are things you actually can cross and I somehow always leave them off the list. Tragedy.

R.J. Dio is dead. I feel neither here nor there about it.

I recently heard someone say, "You can put lipstick on a pig...but it's still a pig". I'm putting that in my bank of "Words of Wisdom" right along with "If you hang out with garbage, you'll start to stink". I think I heard both of these gems on a commercial for Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Went to The Hooley (Irish slang for "parrrrrrrtay") at Kamm's this weekend. I do so love cocktails in the street. I do so NOT love Kamm's Lager though, even if it was delivered by a horse drawn wagon. I'm not a big fan of anything hopp-y. Or is that hopp-ish?

I also took the kid shopping for vacation clothes and realized we're a good shopping team... because we both hate it. I'd put money down that it was the quickest and most successful shopping trip with a child udner the age of 10. He showed me what he liked, I asked him if he liked this or that, tried it on...boom...done. He made out like a bandit and my wallet isn't weeping like a bitch. Score!

As far as Jon Lajoie goes...I could've stayed home and watched his You Tube videos again and been completely satisfied without spending a boatload of dough. He was funny, but not funny enough. I guess I'm just not into frat humor. You can only hear so many jokes about jerking off before it loses it's luster.

The next 23 days can't go quickly enough in my humble opinion. Todd and I have been majorly stressed. Work, life, everything. We all need a break and are lucky enough to be financially able to do so. I've got things SO well panned (I know the hours of every park, when the parades, fireworks and lightshows are, our dinner reservations are made, I even have time scheduled to SWIM) that I can just turn my brain off and be 12 years old, leaving all the drama at home. I've been counting down from 116 days to go...please cross your labia that the time flies.

PFG reunion show in August. That's the rumor.

Finding out if we're 0 for 3 on Friday.

Feels so good! Feels so fine!

We're rockin' the chopsticks toniiiiiiiight!

I've been craving more Japanese food in my life and tonight, mama's gonna get me some! A ginormous Soporro, ginger, ginger, and more ginger, mad chop-a-stick skills, and maybe...just maybe...a shrimp crunchy roll! It's going to take all my restraint not to go-go dance on the burning hot hibachi!

Since Friday, there has been a neon sign blinking on and off in my life and that sign says STRESS. And I'm so effing siiiick of being stressed over other people's selfishness and stuuuuuupidity (not to mention general lack of common sense and decency) that I've been on the brink of going FULL-ON NINJA!

But not tonight. Tonight I get my Benihana on as a method of chilling.

I need to get a 5,6,7,8s fix, too, while we're getting all Asian. 

SAYONARA SUCKERS!

In my room I'm so shocking.

Consider my batteries RECHARGED!

After a whole mess of drama (that I for once had nothing to do with but that directly affected my family), we hit the dusty trail and headed to C-Bus to see Becky, the person directly responsible for keeping me alive for many difficult periods in my life. I felt the stress melt off my person the second I walked in the door. I expected nothing less.

It was a whole weekend of movies, magazines, good food, good beer, good people. Nothing was expected of us. And I got to talk...at great length...about a lot of the things that stress me out and get some decent and insightful feedback. And of course, I became addicted to new things which typically happens when visiting Becky: Food Network Magazine and "Dinner Impossible". I'm going to be a cooking machine soon!

I miss Becky being 2 miles away. Growing up sucks.

I spent Mother's Day with my family, eating ribs and watching the Cavs hand the win to the Celtics. They had so many opportunities to get back in the game but their heads were elsewhere. Yeah...I'm talking about sports. This needs to stop. Bottom line...Mother's Day was solid. I even got a few "Happy Mother's Day" texts. A step-mother is a kind of mother, I guess. Unless they meant "Happy (Bad) Mother(fucker)'s Day"...which I will also accept.

Our 1st family vacation is 1 month from today. Pumped.

"Human Centipede", I somehow think you will ruin lives.

Yo soy playero pero no hay playa!

¡Es cinco de mayo!

¡Esta noche, yo celebraré las vacaciones con mi marido, con un margarita, y con un trago de tequila! ¡Yo probablemente haría así incluso si no fuera una vacaciones!

Y sí, sé que yo no soy mexicano.

¡Deseo que tuviera un sombrero y un bigotes!

Cupcakes and teenage runaways.

Why do I have really weepy/mopey songs like "Together or Alone" by Sebadoh on my Ipod? All I do is skip shtuff like that. They're a horrible way to start my morning. Though "Abracadabra" by Steve Miller didn't really point me in the right direction either.

Oh Deadbolt. Why couldn't you have been awesome?

I think the general consensus was that Deadbolt was boring and possibly "phoning it in". When we tried to get them to play a show at The Sac, they wanted $5,000. FOR WHAT?? To rub a grinder against a guitar (which was actually kind of neat) and play the same song 15 times? I'm glad we saw them and all but I don't think there will be a next time. They should've been opening for Cult of the Psychic Fetus who blew minds per usual. You can see photos of the fun at Stalk My Life!

Oh, and the 2 girls on the side of the stage who were straight out of Grease and had the unstoppable ability to rile people up? Stay home. No one wants to see your pevic thrusting, garter belts, and 10 pounds of Grandma-orange lipstick. Unless you actually were drag queens like I temporarily suspected. Then carry on with your nasty selves.

The best part of the night is when April rubbed her pregnancy on me : )

We just found out that Jess and Jimbo's wedding is a COSTUME WEDDING! How pumped am I??? Super pumped for several reasons. First off, a lot of our friends will be at this wedding which boosts the fun potential. Secondly, I love Halloween. Last Halloween was one of the most fun times in our relationship. Lastly, I will hopefully be pretty damn preggo by then (it's 6 months away) which leaves some HILARIOUS options in the costume department. I think a pregnant Little Red Riding Hood and the big bad wolf could be both tasteless and awesome!

Any ideas/suggestions are welcome!

Today is May Day at my Alma Mater. If I was still in college, I would have this day off school. Mere moments after the May 4th memorials were placed where the dead bodies had fallen, I hit one with my car. No one wanted the May 4th tragedy to happen, but it did. It was unexpected. The tragedy of me hitting that stupid memorial with my car happening? Not so unexpected.

Life is good, live Deadbolt is not, blah blah blah.