Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Thinking the point was keep what's mine for me.

Note THIS and note it NOW:

1. When we go to NYC, Coney Island will be open for the season! I've wanted to go to Coney Island my entire life. Sure, I may not be able to ride their rickety, creeptastic carnival-style rides in my preggo state-of-being, but there's NOTHING that says I can't run away with the world-famous Side Show! Take any freak show talent...sword swallowing, fire breathing, and so on...and have it done by a pregnant girl? You got GOLD right there!

2. I think I'll be wrapping up my little Babymoon getaway by seeing my girlfriend herself, Lady Gaga in Cleveland once again, but this time with my wife, the lovely Phoebe. Still working on getting tickets that are in the right place for the right price. Hopefully we can secure those today. I was told Spencer would come out weird and webbed-toed if I watched anymore Glee (it was an ACCIDENT and I only watched 5 horrific minutes) but I am certain he'll come out weird and webbed-toed after the glory that is Gaga.

And now some random blather to wrap your minds around:

A) Is Luthor Vandross dead or did he just stroke out a bunch of times? This is going to bother me and I could probably just Google it...but I won't. So if you know, tell me. What is the physical state of Luthor Vandross.

B) Todd told me that all the excess whistling at the end of "Sitting On The Dock of the Bay" was just filler because Otis Redding had died before it was finished. I HATE whistling, I HATE that song and now, I hate YOU, Otis Redding.

C) Todd also thinks that Roy Orbison is a jerk, which I don't understand. We were listening to the Malt Shop Oldies channel and some song came on and he said, "Uuuuuuuugh, is this that JERK?!". Say whaaaaaat?

D) I think Melt is overrated. I've been there a handful of times and yeah, I've had fun (and I thought about getting a sandwich tattoo but only because I like ham sandwiches) but I don't understand why everyone drenches their panties over it they way they do. Sorry, Cleveland. I probably just made some major enemies.

E) How much make-up do you think I could scrape off Gwen Stefani's face? I'm thinking a lot. I'm going to be sure to wash her face clean before I punch it. She is on my list, after all. Make sure your face is clean now. Can't have no dirty dead.

F) I love you, Mariska Hargitay.

G) They are installing a 15-ton capacity crane at my work and they are installing it WITH a crane. I am totally fascinated by this thing. I wish I could describe it because, yeah, it's a big crane. But it's a BIG CRANE and I will be able to see if every day from my office. I named it Calibos (from the Harry Hamlin "Clash Of The Titans"...not that remake bullshit) because Conrad was rejected. I love the crane. It's fascinating my brain.

H) I need some new blogs to read. It's my morning ritual. Some people read the paper, I read blogs. And lots of my favorites blog few and far-between or have stopped altogether. So spill it. I don't need anything dramatic or poetic, just entertaining. Help a sistah out.

And with that...


phoebe marie said...

oo, i love your outline style blog posts. responding to them in a like fashion really appeals to my OCD!

1. i am extremely jealous. i love coney island, and while i was clearly not pregnant when i've been there, i have never been on any of the sketchy old rides, either. i want to go there no that i am into taking photos. i also want you guys to go to the original nathan's hot dogs for me AND to bring me back some salt water taffy from any of the places on the boardwalk!

2. i cannot tell you how geeked i am about this. the first thing i did when i got home was to tell my friend spike, because after she saw gaga in slc, she wanted to run away and follow her around the country, she was so impressed. i spent a good part of yesterday listening to her tunes at work, which also means i spent a good part of yesterday being made fun of by my coworkers. fuck those guys. they don't know shit!

A. luther vandross is dead.

B. that song sucks, but he does have some that don't suck. also, you would hate my workplace more than i do because there is this one guy who whistles and hums under his breath like ALL THE TIME. i want to punch him in his sweater vest.

C. my father thought my high school boyfriend, jeremy, looked like roy orbison.

D. eff melt. and double eff matt fish. with something sharp and pointy. that guy is a bigger douche-hole than anyone in this city.

E. everyone i know who has met that pile of scabies says she is hideous and that the make-up is at least half an inch thick. even my ex-husband's star-fucker best friend who got to work on her first solo record said she was beat and cakey.

F. amen, sister! i watched every single episode of law & order SVU, thank you netflix. she is rad. please notice how her boobs increase in size as the seasons go on, though. they level off around season 4, but it's like they were barely around in season 1, then they put her in a push-up bra in season 2, and then all of a sudden somewhere in 3 or 4, lower cut man sweaters and tighter tops and just more boob! ryan called her detective boobies.

G. fascinating.

H. i know mine is one of the blogs that has become a "few and far-between" category blog, and i apologize. hopefully as my coo-coo meds start to really take effect, i will feel more inclined to get my ass back to writing.

Sharky Marie P.G. said...

I'm glad you enjoy my outline! I will respond to your comment (which made me wet my pants a little) in outline form, as well:

1. I will eat a hot dog and for SURE bring you back some taffy!

2. I CAN'T WAIT! I hope we get good tickets. Your mind will no doubt be blown by her antics. I can tell you every song she'll play if you want to be prepared.

A) He is? Sad : (

B) Whistlers are the enemy.

C) I think Todd's hatred of him is irrational.

D) I'm glad I'm nto alone in my Meltitude.

E) I just don't get the appeal. And her solo stuff is GARBAGE.

F) Detective Boobies, ha ha.

G) I don't think you're grasping the intensity of my love for this crane. I love it more than most people I know.

H) Coo-Coo meds??? Elaborate!

phoebe marie said...

this could, quite possibly, get more and more difficult to keep up, but i'm off today, so i'm going for it...

1. sweeet! i had salt water taffy for the first time at coney island. it is awesome. like you.

2. oo, yes. i want to be prepared! and i also want to continue annoying and confusing my coworkers for the nest 2 weeks!

A. he passed away in 2005... poor luther.

B. i think i hate humming even more. not that whistling is acceptable.

C. i agree. maybe he's unaware of how much glenn danzig idolized ol' roy. that alone makes him un-hateable in my book.

D. definitely not. i can make a good-ass grilled cheese with whatever i want on it, in my house, for way less than $12.95, without an hour wait, and not served by surly hipsters lining the pocket of a self-important ass-munching cock-gobbler.

E. i didn't know there was an appeal. *shudder*

F. he also had to yell, like YELL at the top of his longs, "DONG! DONG!" every time that sound happened in between scenes and even during the theme music. that i do not miss.

G. it does sound pretty spiffy. and i'm glad you named it.

H. i'd been having panic and/or anxiety attacks and was starting to lose my ability to cope with just regular-ass stuff. so my doc diagnosed me with anxiety and OCD and put me on some coo-coo meds. it's been about 4 weeks. i can tell the difference, but am hoping that it continues to get better, because i'm still having anxiety problems at work pretty consistently. so yeah. who's crazy? this guy!

erin said...

lol todd is silly, the song was finished, but it just didn't come out til shortly after he died

Sharky Marie P.G. said...

I'm so glad I have you to tell me the facts!!! Now can you tell me the meaning behind "I'm Going To Be Wheel" by Fats Domino. WHY is he going to be a WHEEL???

Anonymous said...

Mariska is so beautiful. I love her hair and she has a skin and a wonderful color. Big breasts: she is the daughter of Jayne Mansfield. And she is the best of detective television series.

Sharky Marie P.G. said...

Jayne Mansfield was a KNOCK OUT. Mariska was in the car with her when she died (and allegedly decapitated). Regardless, I agree. She's my fav.