Monday, April 18, 2011

I'm just a holy fool. Baby, he's so cruel.

New York City, we're coming for you, baby.

I bought some new duds, packed, got a new windshield and rear tires, new glasses (thicker, blacker, nerdier...Todd is swooning), and even splurged for some prescription sunglasses that are very Gaga-esque! I've got a play list of hundreds of jams from the 80s and a lust in my blood for a little road tripping adventure. This is going to be epic...a word I truly loathe..., I can feel it in the core of my black heart and rotten bones!

And speaking of my girlfriend, Gaga...

1. I scored tickets for Bizzle and myself and I must say, they are far better than the spendy seats I had last year. I look forward to taking in the spectacle that is Gaga again. It was worth every penny and implying suspension of disbelief. I can only hope Phoebe enjoys the insanity and nonsense as much as I do. Or I might have to find a new wife.

2. She'll be playing in the New York City area (I believe in Jersey, blech) 2 of the nights we'll be invading. There will be pain in my chest not seeing her so close to her home turf because I bet that would blow minds and splatter brains. But I can handle it. There's plenty of fun to be had without seeing perform to a sea of the GTL crowd.

3. Her new single, "Judas", is A-MAZ-ING. I was a little worried about the direction she was heading after "Born This Way" was released (don't ask me to say 'dropped', as I never will). I'll be honest, yeah, it's an anthem...put your damn hands up...but I'm not a fan. Now "Judas"? My girl is BACK! So far it hasn't shown it's face on any current set lists but a girl can hope-n-pray-n-make deals with the Devil, am I right?

And speaking of the Devil...

Dear Jehovah's Witnesses and religious fruitcakes,

Don't come to our door. Don't leave your little pamphlets. You're only asking to get a ear full, rather than give one. So just take your little, suited selves and walk right past the big gray house with the lava rocks. There's nothing for you in there, I guarantee. And you have nothing we want. We square?


Judas. Juda-a-a.
Judas. Juda-a-a.
Judas. Juda-a-a.
Judas. GAGA.


phoebe marie said...

re: gaga... my excitement continues to build, don't you worry! i cannot imagine you will be needing to find a new wife - as i cannot imagine i will be anything BUT totally floored by this experience.

re: witnesses... my friend dan discovered the BEST way to deal with them. he invited them in. yes, that's right, invited them in. he sat them down in his living room, asked if he could get them a drink, and when they said no, he said he needed one. he excused himself to the kitchen, and returned with a case of beer. (it was 8am on a saturday.) he plopped the case on the coffee table, cracked one, and started talking AT THEM. he rambled on about whatever he could think of, never giving them the opportunity to even get to talking at all. he drank beer after beer, until the case was nearly gone before they finally figured out how to tell him they had to go!! they have never returned. dan said he felt horrible and drunk that whole day, but that it was worth the effort to now be on some jehovah's witness blacklist!!

Sharky Marie P.G. said...

I don't even think I could exercise that kind of patience with them. They came when we weren't home and stuck one of there horrible pamphelts in out door and it just annoyed me to no end. After Scientologists and Mormons, the Witnesses are next on my list of "Religions That Baffle and Outrage Me".

Sharky Marie P.G. said...

Oh, Christian Scientists are also wack-a-doo, but for whatever reason, their insanity entertains me.

juste venteux said...


dmarks said...

don't forget to wear outfits made of meat for the concert.

Is Cleveland such a place that you need to replace your windshields a lot?

Sharky Marie P.G. said...

I think being preggo and wearing a raw meat outfit would work against me and anyone sitting within a 50 foot radius. I'll probably just wear an outfit that doesn't require pants and fit right in.

Cleveland is a place where you have to replace a lot of things a lot of the time.

dmarks said...

I will be going be there in a few days... I take this as a reminder not to go into the city!

Sharky Marie P.G. said...

You should TOTALLY go into the city. Do not fear! Just fear the roads because potholes run rampant and like to cause mass amounts of destruction.