Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Now...eyes burn circles in the dark.

I can't believe this clusterfuck of a year is almost over. Don't get me wrong, it beat the pants off of last year. But still...for a lot of people I know, including myself at times...this year was painful and somewhat pathetic. I'll take what I've learned and apply it to 2009, the year I'm getting married. I can't believe that in 2 weeks I can say, "I'm getting married this year". Bananas. Life is bananas.

Why this sudden reflection?

The last few weeks have wrecked my brain stress-wise. At this very moment, even if it's not going to last, I feel somewhat calm and at ease. I need to deal with the things I can deal with and stop worrying about the things I can't deal with. That's life. I shouldn't lose sleep over some of the things I'm losing sleep over. It's just ridiculous. At the end of the day, what matters is that I have good friends, a better life than most, and a totally adorable dude that loves me (and loves the WEIRDEST things about how I laugh at Family Guy and that I call our dog Pupperoni). I'm leaving stress in 2008 where it belongs.

Goals (NOT resolutions) for 2009
1. Stick to my workout schedule.
2. Eat better
3. See an Imunologist and get my health on track.
4. Manage my back pain.
5. Spend more time with friends.
6. Make Todd feel mega-loved DAILY.
7. Focus on painting.
8. Finish up home improvements.
9. Enjoy every SECOND of our wedding.
10. Have an incredibly stress-free Honeymoon!

Tens a good round number. I feel good about my "goals". I'm starting a new life in 9 months. I need to prepare for it but working on myself a little. Do I sound like a self-help book? Gross. I need to bang my skull on something hard and rough and scarring. But it IS true. If I don't feel tip top physically, emotionally, mentally, whatever...I'll be no good to anyone. I need to be able to punch stress in the face and move on so I don't miss out on all the awesomeness in front of me. Stress gets kicked in the balls, awesomeness gets made love to. Simple as that.

Good times, people. Good times.

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