The world is treating me baaaaaad.

Misery!

Of COURSE I'm sick. Why wouldn't I be? It's fucking Christmas time. I should've expected nothing less than feeling like I've been massacred by a truck. I'm pretty damn miserable right now. I should probably hit up the doctor's office but why? They'll just tell me I have a cold or whatever and send me home. Then I will have wasted valuable sleeping/moping time sitting in a germ-infested waiting room. No thanks, Tom Hanks! I'm just tuff it out the best I can.

I opened my Christmas gifts from Todd last night. Lots of vinyl toys. That sounds dirty but it's really not. That ding-dong Phoebe pulled me into her world and now I have a semi-expensive hobbie! *shakes fist in Phoebe's face* I got a big Mozzarella figure so all I need is strawberry to have the complete Moofia. I got a vinyl labbit with a variety of things to stick in it's mouth...moustache, legs, hamburger, zipper..., and my favorite gift of all: ANCIENT BOB THE ACTION SLUG! The labbit riding on top of him wearing the "Clash of the Titans" helmet is even cuter than I imagined. It was a big shock. I didn't really expect any presents since I'm rockin' some phat diamonds on my digit. But I'm psyched about what I got. I won't have anything to open on X-Mas...but I'll live.

I got a Dead Kennedys t-shirt, too. Blast from the past.

GRRRRR! My ears are ringing and there's some sort of buzzing where I am so the buzzing is competing with the ringing and I am destined to MURDER SOMEONE WITH MY BARE HANDS! My lips are swollen (again, sounds dirty but isn't), my eyes are pulsating, my throat is raw, my nose is running...MISERY! You want to tell me to quit my bitching? I would mail that suggestion in a letter because you don't want to get close enough to me to feel my wrath. UGH! Now my stomach is in knots!

I HATE CHRISTMAS!

Now...eyes burn circles in the dark.

I can't believe this clusterfuck of a year is almost over. Don't get me wrong, it beat the pants off of last year. But still...for a lot of people I know, including myself at times...this year was painful and somewhat pathetic. I'll take what I've learned and apply it to 2009, the year I'm getting married. I can't believe that in 2 weeks I can say, "I'm getting married this year". Bananas. Life is bananas.

Why this sudden reflection?

The last few weeks have wrecked my brain stress-wise. At this very moment, even if it's not going to last, I feel somewhat calm and at ease. I need to deal with the things I can deal with and stop worrying about the things I can't deal with. That's life. I shouldn't lose sleep over some of the things I'm losing sleep over. It's just ridiculous. At the end of the day, what matters is that I have good friends, a better life than most, and a totally adorable dude that loves me (and loves the WEIRDEST things about me...like how I laugh at Family Guy and that I call our dog Pupperoni). I'm leaving stress in 2008 where it belongs.

Goals (NOT resolutions) for 2009
1. Stick to my workout schedule.
2. Eat better
3. See an Imunologist and get my health on track.
4. Manage my back pain.
5. Spend more time with friends.
6. Make Todd feel mega-loved DAILY.
7. Focus on painting.
8. Finish up home improvements.
9. Enjoy every SECOND of our wedding.
10. Have an incredibly stress-free Honeymoon!

Tens a good round number. I feel good about my "goals". I'm starting a new life in 9 months. I need to prepare for it but working on myself a little. Do I sound like a self-help book? Gross. I need to bang my skull on something hard and rough and scarring. But it IS true. If I don't feel tip top physically, emotionally, mentally, whatever...I'll be no good to anyone. I need to be able to punch stress in the face and move on so I don't miss out on all the awesomeness in front of me. Stress gets kicked in the balls, awesomeness gets made love to. Simple as that.

Good times, people. Good times.

We're having fun now it's plain to see!

The guy who dealt the fatal blow to Matt Hockey earlier this year was found guily of involuntary manslaughter and assault on Thursday or Friday. Sentencing will happen some time in January. Please keep his family in your thoughts. Just because the dude was found guilty does NOT bring Matt back to his family, including his young son. Such a sad thing to go through at the holidays.

Speaking of the holidays...

Have I ever mentioned that I HATE shopping? I do. Ick. AND Christmas? Hate that, too. But having Todd around this year to have our own Anti-Christmas...I dig it. And I'm fine missing out on all the hoopla and nonsense...but I WOULD like a tree. I left my tree up until almost JULY last year because I loved it so much. I guess I'll have to put presents under...I dunno. I have nothing to put them under!

It's going to be a long day. I can feel it in my bones. And in my intestines. My intestines usually get rowdy when it's going to be a really long day. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm also not looking forward to chest piece tattoo removal on Friday. I'm actually dreading that straight down to my core. But it's gotta be done. It's time. Five years of being a wuss is looooooong enough, I tell you what!

This weekend was a 50/50 deal. Todd, Jimmy and I went to some goofy bar in Lakewood that I did not have high hopes for. But my hair looked incredible...and there was a really bad but fun cover band...and shots of Jamesons! It turned out to be so much fun that the rest of the weekend paled in comparison. I think we used up all of our "fun" on Friday. I may have even overdosed on the fun because although I really didn't drink that much...I left with the hiccups and have a tiny portion of the night missing from my memory. Despite what he says, I don't think Todd and I made sweet love for 3 hours. Nice try though.

That's really about it, sadly. This "hermit" stuff doesn't really lend to good blogging. But the chilling had been good. And the painting. And the seriously snuggle time. Maybe it doesn't blow your minds like when I would write about fucking shit up at The Mantis or any number of crazy things that happened while out-n-about with Johnny...but I'm so wrecked (probably from all those years of tomfoolery) that sometimes sitting around and playing cards or watching cartoons is just fine by me.

I heard "Power of Love" by Huey Lewis every day this weekend. Maybe that will have to be our wedding song. Probably not...but never count out the overwhelming power of The News.

But there's nights that I wonder if you remember.

This weekend was just a motherfucking rollercoaster. I hate rollercoasters, especially those of the emotional variety. Life is full of ups and downs, I get that. I just hate up, down, up, down. Now I get why Tessa hates rollercoasters. That feeling when your stomach bottoms out is almost intollerable now. I used to take it like a champ in my youth...I welcomed the feeling and it made me laugh. Now, no thanks. And a big, fat NO THANKS when your stomach bottoms out with both feet on the ground.

As for the "ups"...

Friday was a slam-dunk. One of the best times I've had in a long time. Besides hankey-pankey and cupcakes and cruisin' and Moofia and Smorkin' Labbits and big beers at Melt and more hankey-pankey...there was LISA! She was just as adorable as ever. More adorable, actually. And she got to meet Todd...which was captured on film. And Rocko was there which is always a TREAT! Hanging with my friends, shooting the breeze, eating cheese, slugging beers, watching them shoot guns, listening to 8-tracks...I'm lucky to have the friends that I do. I was even thanked for having such cool friends. Friday, all around, was an award-winner.

The "downs"?

1. Lisa is gone again. Fuck.
2. I was in an unexplainable bad mood Saturday.
3. Sunday there was a BLOW OUT with some residual damage.
4. And..."the finger incident", explained below.

My nephew, the walking time-bomb, was trying to use a knife to jimmy the back window of his new truck open. Some way, some how, he cut his index finger off. OK..not OFF...but he cut through muscle, tendon, ligament, nerve and there was major bone damage...blech. I could toss my cookies just thinking about it. I was informed that it was hanging on by a thread and there was questions about whether or not the finger could be saved. Thanks to surgery, it was. Everything on him was soaked in blood, including his cellphone. I guess it looked like he had been shot because he wrapped his patially severed finger in his shirt to stop the bleeding. There may be some nerve damage but never damage is better than a missing digit on his dominant hand. The whole story is extremely upsetting. A definite "down".

Off subject, do they still make Mars bars?

I am so sad since you went away.

Matt was my first "puppy love". His sister was in my grade and was my best friend until they moved. They were both adorable. I had the BIGGEST crush on Matt from about Kindergarten to Fourth Grade. As some of you may know, he died in March or April after a bar fight in Lakewood. Some guy that was in town on business hit him in the back of the head outside of the bar. The police tried to convince Matt to go to the hospital but he decided to go home. And he died there.

His trial started Monday.

This whole thing is still so unbelieveable. I hung out with him and his sister for years. He played hockey so I went to games with Chirstina and even on a roadtrip to Detroit for some sort of playoffs. Even as we hit the junior high years, I still thought he was the most adorable kid I had ever seen. And this is how his life ended...from a blow to the back of the head. And his father found him. How terrible. And he himself was a father to a little boy, I think. It's all just so stupid and mindblowing. His mother and father take the stand today. And the coroner. THE CORONER. Terrible.

His whole family is in my thoughts, no doubt.

I have nothing witty to say today. It's too sad of a day.

Sew on patches...to all you tear.

I have totally abandon my "Cannibalicious" style paintings in favor of half naked Disney Princesses! Painting the good girls doing bad things! I have never been so pumped and ridiculous. I believe I said "doing whatever she is doing with her fishy business" the other day while painting a topless Ariel (who is in my top 3, of course). Phoebe and I had a conversation about whether or not Disney would issue me a cease and dessist order. I guess I better pump out as many of these puppies as possible! The liklihood that they'll stumble upon little ol' me and my little ol' art show is highly improbable. I should stop talking about it. Disney has eyes EVERYWHERE!

I get to see Lisa in 3 days! I just peed a little.

I dunno...maybe it feels like I'm abandoning the blogosphere but I'm really not. What can I say? LITERALLY...what CAN I say? I don't want to say my life has gotten boring (come on now) but it's mainly been jam-packed with home improvements, painting, work, wedding shtuff (which I blather about somewhere else so you don't get all grossed-out from all the icky, sticky love involved), and sleeping. I'm sure I'll have more stories and hijinks to blather on about once Pussyfoot Girls get back in gear...and a visit from Lisa always has memory-creating potential. Like I said...life isn't boring...there's just a lot of routine setting in. Which is GOOD! My goal was to have around 60 paintings and framed drawings for my art show and I only have until August 7th! I NEED ROUTINE!

I'm sorry I'm boring you. I'm boring myself.