Monday, May 23, 2005

Headin' down the highway. Sign has 3 inverted 9s.

I feel lousy for multiple reasons:

1. I didn't go to work because I was up most of the night wailing due to intense rib pain. It hurt so bad around 5:00am that I thought I was going a little batty. So the pain coupled with being unable to do my job makes me feel like a dick.

2. Pain killers make me sick. Not sure if the nausea or the rib pain is worse. It's really a tough call.

3. I missed my "husband" quite a bit this morning but I'd like to blame that on the spine-chillin' pain I was in. I will also blame the brief "I miss you" e-mail I sent on that as well. I was delirious and delusional. I am over the missing. Now I have moved on to embarrassment.

4. I will be divorced 2 weeks from today.

But on the flipside, I feel good for multiple reasons:

1. I might, at some point, get flown out to Vegas to visit with Sgt. Timothy Sullivan , my hero and one of my future husbands. I love Vegas and miss Tim so I can't really think of a better way to spend my time. We are as different as night and day yet seem to...click. Like legos. Maybe we'll fall in love. Or maybe we'll just have a great few days.

2. Sugar tipped me off to the Australian Cattle Dog/Blue Heeler rescue site when I mentioned possibly wanting to get a dog when I move to Cleveland. I am in love with one of the dogs and if I decide to get her (after thourough consideration), I will name her "Santo" or "Fever".

3. LOTS of good shows coming up including HEAVY REBEL with Phee-Bizzle! I bought new duds (including a wrench halter top I DESPERATELY WANTED) especially for the occassion and while I will be drunk to a silly degree, I will NOT miss Psychocharger this year! HECK NO! I love you Jimmy!And I love that all my pals will be there...Ben and Lisa, Sugar, Dennis, Pete, Karen, Tom and Carol...HELL YEAH! And KINGS OF NUTHIN' ARE PLAYING! HOORAY! I love you, Tommy Bellvue!

4. I got asked on a date which proves that I've still got it, ha ha.

All in all, I know that the physical and emotional pain will go away. The ribs will heel...so will my heart. I mean, when I broke up with my high school sweetheart (what a BONEHEAD I was...I hope you've forgiven me, Matt Walters), I thought I'd never recover...I was pretty sure my heart would explode in my chest and seep out my eyes. And I think I'm handling the fact that my husband fell out of love with me and treats me like an idiot while everyone in the world thinks he's just SWELL and kisses his ass pretty well, don't you? I've got my house, my car, my job, my fabulous fucking friends, my Pussyfoot Girls, and a pretty terrific family....I'd say I have my health but that's a total lie...so I guess I'm lucky. Things could be worse.

I COULD have a 4 broken ribs!

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