Thursday, May 15, 2008

What's the name? What's the game?

I'm starting to be a firm believer in the theory that boys always get their periods. Sure, they my not gush jello-y gunk from their junk, but man, some of the dudes I know can get moodier than bitches! I know I sounds thuggish but I theorize about my theory and I roll with the words that come out, no matter how thuggish-ruggish. So as I've been living through these male menstrual moments, I've decided that if I am this nutso when I'm shedding my uterine lining, I might as well just go into hiding because I must be BATTY! Anyway, boys, take some Midol (which is the best way for Ben to cure a hangover, or so I hear) and chillax. It'll all be over soon, I promise. And if not, you're going to get one of posterior paws up your rear...since you are vag-less.

What did this story MEAN? It means that boys are confusing and therefore my brain hurts.

You know what cures a hurty brain? A visit from one of your besties that you haven't seen since BEFORE X-Mas. I've been a bad friend and deserve to have my hand smacked. Maybe my face, too...lightly. Maybe you could give my hair a little tug, too. This paragraph is starting to lose it's PG rating. Regardless, Queen B is coming in and we have 24 hours of non-stop rockin' and rollin' "Punch Drunk Summer" style. We're going to sit around and gossip like chicks do for awhile, then I'll be getting my 'do done did for Ladies Night at The Sac, then we'll be chowing down Japanese-stylie (!!!), of course there will be pre-show grooming to do as I turn from Lula into Patti Cake, and then we'll be doing it up at The Sac! Not only do I lurve drinking with Becky...but she has NEVER seen The Pussyfoot Girls before! INSANITY! I predict there will be shots, beers, shots-n-beers, dancing, hugging, and hangovers. And FLAPJACKS! Life is good when Becky is around. Nothing seems THAT BAD when she's here spreading the love around. Don't make that sentence dirty or I'll bust your mug.

So I have to get through the rest of today and tomorrow which shouldn't be hard because my heart and brain seem to functioning just fine. I should be able to live through the weekend. Man, my bladder is sure talking to me though, YEESH! I have high hopes for this weekend and it's filth and gore potential. My 3 besties and my boyfriend in one place. Amazing. My vagina is starting to quake just thinking about it. If I didn't have to go grocery shopping after work, I'd shoot straight home to watch a dirty movie and rid myself of some of this INTENSITY that is building up deep within my being!!!

I'm freaking out with FUN. I gotta scram.

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