I hate stress and I am ultimately stressed out. As I texted Johnny last night, "My life is really not turning out the way I planned". I'm stressed about my work life. I'm stressed about my home life. And of course, I'm stresed about money, or the gigantic lack of it that is currently hanging over my head. Right now, my stomach is pretty much alternating between growling and being in knots. I hate having a knotty stomach, especially since I have knots in my back from sleeping on the couch (I left the bed in a fit of rage after being treated like a sucker for the one millionth time this week...I'm beginning to believe that I AM a sucker). My moods are all over the damn place like ants on cookie crumbs these days.
Saturday was the dragway show and we camped in what resembled swamp lands. I had a nice ring around my ankles that separated cleanliness from muck. My parents enjoyed the Pussyfoot Girls though I was informed that I drink too much, and I probably do. I'm getting sick of a lot of our material and I'll be happy to have a break after our show with the Cap Gun Cowboys and Bob's Country Bunker this weekend. Regardless, Saturday was good...until my fella got toasted and basically made himself out to be a raving assface in front of my friends AND strangers. He doesn't remember how badly he behaved and everyone accepted our apologies (thank GOD) but I still feel...a little humiliated. Everyone gets drunk and does retarded things. We've all been there. It happens. I just really didn't need it to happen during a weekend I was looking forward to and wanted to enjoy.
I decided to let it roll off my back and we spent the entire Sunday in bed. We ate ribs, watched the race, napped. I was a complete and total bum and that was fine by me. After sleeping on the cold, hard ground with a chip on my shoulder, it felt amazing to be in the cushy bed, drafting my platypus (he's morphed from being my marshmallow to being my platypus...not sure how that happened). We have a hot dinner date at the Hard Rock tomorrow night. AND we made plans to go do something together, just the two of us, for a weekend before the summer is over which made me feel all warm and gooshy inside. But the gooshiness didn't last. And WHY didn't it last? BECAUSE OF ALCOHOL! Hence why I ended up on the couch and am currently having an awkward day at work. Yes, I forgave. Yes, I'm sure I'll forget. But right now...I'm salty. I have sand in my vagina. And I'm sad.
Dinner and a movie with Johnny will probably help occupy my mind a bit.
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