So hurry up and bring your jukebox money!

I'm in a good mood today (yeah yeah yeah, you can wipe those faces straight off your heads). I had a good weekend from start to finish despite the fact that I was laced with the black death! There was some turmoil on Wednesday because someone was poking their snout where it didn't belong. But that's over, being laughed about by many, many people, and life is good. Better than yours, for sure.

Friday, I sealed the deal on all kinds of wedding stuff but you can find that on ye ol' wedding blog. I also accompanied Todd and Aiden to the school dance. It was a fun change of pace. The music was horrible. The dancing was minimal. The grape Kool-Aide was spot on. Saturday Aiden and I had an Ihop breakfast date. Later, the fellas and I went to Dave and Busters but I was rocking a fever so it wasn't my best trip ever. The rest of the weekend can be filled in with mindless television, cough syrup and Mucinex, sleeping, and sickness. But overall, it was good. And tonight, I have a Mardi Gras date with my fiancee. Not bad. Not bad at all.

And last but not least, Happy belated Birthday, Rebecca. I'm sorry that my sickness kept me from spending the weekend with you. There was nowhere I wanted to be more. You're a bad ass friend and I love you! Everyone should love you! Happy 38th!!!

Why can't we have a change of pace?

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!

...

...

GRRRRRRR!! BLATHERRRRRR!!!

I am just not in a good mood or a good place at all right now. I'm not all down-n-out and crying and melancholy. I'm just...whatever! Did you ever hear "My United States of Whatever" by Liam Lynch? That's me right now. "Then along comes Kiki and she's all 'Awwwwwww' and I'm like 'WHATEVER!'".

I'm in a FTW and WTF kind of mood right now. I honestly could give a flying f-f-f-f-f-fuck if you were on fire. That's a general YOU. And honestly, I probably do care if many people I know are on fire. But not everyone I know. I guess I could piss it out for those unfortunate few that I can't be bothered with right now. I'm just kind of sick of people. And this mood I'm in is not good motivation for doing anything other than drinking away the part of the day that I can not sleep away...thank you very much, slurry Modest Mouse guy.

I need another date with Phoebe. We went to McIntyre's last week. It's not our "usual" spot but it's got atmosphere and personality and people that actually come to your table and bring you more drinks and they are rude or put out for doing their jobs! Are you hearing this, West Park Station? This means YOU! Anyway, I ordered everything fried that I possibly could, drank 4 beers, and spit out my problems as fast as I could so Phoebe could tell me an awesome story. I need more awesome time with Phoebe.

Actually, I just need to punch someone in the face. I have someone all picked out. Me slugging said person could really only help at this point. Totally diasater from the neck up. I should probably stop talking. I'm spitting negativity into all your grills.

I wish I still smoked.

I'm part of you indefinitely.

This morning I was listening to some mix CDs that my sister made me for my 30th birthday, and there was a cover of Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby". It made me strangely happy. I'm not even kidding you that when I was 20, that was my jam. Which is really weird because 20 to 22 was probably the height of my filthy punk phase and right inbetween Minor Threat and The Misfits was Mariah Carey, sitting comfortable on her big ass. Oh, the things you think about when you're 30 and rocking out to the mix CDs your sister made you.

So, yeah. I'm 30 now.

I'm all about being 30. Sadly, my birthday was not as mind-blowing as I had hyped up in my mind. We started birthday weekend off with a bang (and bangING) and an impromptu trip to the movies to see "My Bloody Valentine" in 3D. We loved it. It was incredible. Gore from the get-go. Friday was a mix up good-n-bad. Todd took the day off work to be with me...good. We went to The Melting Pot for lunch...good. I got suuuuuuuuper carsick on the way home and threw up the expensive lunch I just paid for and really didn't have much motivation to get off the couch for the rest of the night...bad. Todd because withdrawn, quiet and frustrated about some stressers in his life...bad. So Thursday was bad ass and Friday was both bad-ass and ass-bad.

Now it's my birthday. Todd sang to me in the middle of the night. Cute. Funny. We got up and went to breakfast which was fun, but I found out I had some issues at the bank. Way to wreck a morning. I brushed it off and got done some things I needed to get done and felt fairly accomplished. We cleaned for Becky's arrival and slowly...things just went down hill. Dinner was a ton of fun. Dinner will be the highlight. I have the best friends a girl could ask for. But I'd like to erase everything that happened after that from my brain. I'd like to blame it all on stress but that would just be an excuse. So the night ended earlier than I would have liked and never got better. Crying on your 30th birthday? Lame. Your friend driving all the way from Columbus just to drive back home at midnight? Lame.

Yesterday was my family birthday. It was great. It was relaxing. My parents really know how to do it up. But my mind was somewhere else. It was still a wreck from the night before, I guess. I dunno. I was just half there and half not. We did get a really sun surprise regarding the wedding. And I did get a beer glass from Milwaukee for the Women's Drinking Team which I LOVE. We talked a lot of wedding talk and my one sister who I thought was on the fence about being a bridesmaid bought a dress (!!!) which eased my mind. There were definite highs. We trucked home and got into movie mode and just sort of zoned out. I think I'm still zoned out.

Maybe it wasn't the best way to start 30 off. Nah...I'm not going to say that. Cause some of it was great and some of it was crazy fun. There were just lows that I wasn't expecting. But I guess it's just a day, right? Things didn't have to be mind-blowing just because it was my birthday. I mean...just because it's my favorite day of the year doesn't mean it's going to make everyone else be upbeat and awesome. Oh well. 30 will still be a good year.

Or I'm moving to Guam.

Light up a cigarette. Take it to bed.

I haven't written in a week. That's because there's nothing to write but motherfucking horror stories. Life is just feeling all kinds of dumb right now. Life has been upside-down DUMB this week. I've had to deal with dummies and I've felt like a dummy (fuck that noise, ya know?) and I'm just irritated through and through. Dumb fucking week. And it's BIRTHDAY WEEK!!! This is supposed to be pure insanity! I don't just celebrate the DAY. I celebrate THE WEEK! And I'm doing a damn shabby job of it, yo.

But it should perk up tomorrow. At quittin' time, my 3 day birthday weekend begins. Rumor around the campfire is somr people from work may be hittin' a local watering hole after we clock out to celebrate mine and Dan's respective births. And on Friday...yeah...so I have to clean. So what? It's cleaning for a good reason. BECKY IS COMING TO VISIT SATURDAY! Holy fucking dog shit. Amazing reason to clean. And then Saturday night...celebration city. If my mind isn't TOTALLY blown outta my SKULL...I can make it to family birthday funday Sunday.

And then 30 will be a-go.

Can I get a WHAT! WHAT! Or something else thuggish?

Amen.