Gives us those nice bright colors. Gives us the greens of summer.

Another edition of Blogging From Bed, this time with a snorting husband next to me. I had one of the worst nights sleep I've had since being pregnant. Lots of tossing-n-turning, vivid dreams, and staring at the ceiling. Not awesome but I'm dealing since I was warned this would happen towards the end of baby-baking. The lack of sleep could be due to anxiousness and anxiety about when our little monster is going to appear or it could be because...

WE'RE GOING TO THE RENAISSANCE FAIRE TODAY!!

In a few hours, we'll be jumping in the car, turning on the tunes, and heading to Geneva-On-The-Lake for the Great Lakes Medieval Faire (after a stop off to grab my wife, Phee-Bizzle). I am so very excited! I can't remember ever going to a Renaissance Faire, it's my last hurrah before the baby comes, and I'm going to be surrounded by awesome, fun-loving people as my Tessa is meeting us there! It's just something different to do and it's something that is not alcohol centered. I can't wait to do things like this with Spencer. I want to see live-action chess, jousting, wenches, and all the amazing costumes! And I'm getting myself a crown, damn it, and hopefully something for my monster. It's going to be fantastic day. I just hope I don't go into labor there. I want all the creature comforts of modern medicine.

I'm going to go have apple pie for breakfast to start the day.

I'm so happy today!!

HUZZAH!!!

We'll exhale. We'll high five. We will know at last how good it feels to be alive!

Join Us.

At first I was terribly disappointed and distressed but like most things, the new They Might Be Giants CD has grown on me like a strange fungus or extra appendage. The reason they have managed to remain my favorite band since 1990 is that they are who they are. You know it's a They Might Be Giants song upon first listen. and you have no choice but to respect the quirk. They don't try to be who they're not. They're just naturally awesome. So if you've picked up this album and are on the fence about it, give it time. Let your extra limbs develop!

My tickets have been secured for their Cleveland show. You might think, "But that's only 4 weeks after your supposed to give birth! It's irresponsible for you to be going to see a band!" I was kind of thinking the same thing...or at least I was slightly worried I'd be given the shit stick. So I didn't even bring up going. It was my fantastic hubby's idea. He said, "Who is going to the show with you? Your sister?" I questioned him about not minding if I went and he said he assumed I'd be going since they're my favorites and he'd happily spend the evening with Spencer. It didn't take any more arm twisting.

So the set list better blow MINDS since I'm leaving my 4 week old buddy!!

Speaking of blowing minds...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHEE-BIZZLE!!!

This is YOUR day! And I hope that it's awesome from the minute you wake up until the minute you fall into bed. And when you DO fall into bed, I hope it's either nakedly with your husband OR in a drunken stupor from too much fun. It's been many moons since I've seen a drunk Phoebe. Or a naked one for that matter. I can't wait to celebrate your 36 years at the Renaissance Faire on Sunday (I told Spencer he MUST stay in his cushy waterbed until AFTER said Faire). I haven't spent nearly enough time with you this year which is a bummer but I have boatloads of good memories to tide me over between hangouts. So HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, MISERY GUTS!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Anything else I need to blather on about on this fine morning?

Um, my contractions are all over the map (an hour and half, 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 41 minutes, 4 hours). And I don't really care that Amy Whinehouse is dead, even is that sounds cold. I didn't personally know her and if you mess with meth, what do you expect? Oh, and congratulations to Little Erin and Wolfboy Slim on their news. RAD!

I guess that's all I've got.

This is it, boys. This is war!

I've got to say, I find it unusually sexy when Todd makes comments about Project Runway when I'm watching it (Top Chef,too...he knows why I have sharks named Fabio, Stefan, and Hosea) And I'm not talking about comments about how much he hates the show. I'm talking about observations that show he's been paying attention. He becomes this fashionista and it makes me laugh. And I think the laughing makes it all sexy, not to mention that he can usually pick the winners and losers! Metrosexual! But he's wrong about Lorena...she's beautiful. He's nutty on that one.

We just held hands while watching The Dilemma. Good time, bad film.

My skull has been an issue this weekend and has been randomly spurting blood out of my nostrils. Regardless, I made it out to the Roll-n-Bowl at Yorktown Lanes last night to see Miss Firecracker One Woman Band. My darling pal Carol was ON last night. She was full on rock star and flat out hilarious. When she gets nervous before shows, it always blows my mind because she OWNS. And she loves me more than bacon...she told me so. It was good to get pertied up and see pals. But Spencer let me know when he had enough and I followed his cue.

And because my pals are so flat out rad, Spence scored a gift last night. I was told it was a "third generation hand me down" which made it that much cooler. It ended up being a sweet vintage Yorktown Lanes t-shirt. Yeah, he is DESTINED to be awesome. It never stops boggling my mind how people have responded to my little Squiggy in such awesome ways. Thanks Jeremy and Niccole. You're awesome!

So after a day of cooking out and swimming fun at my sister's, I'm chilling in our bed with Dr. Nightmare watching more of my Project Runway marathon. Got to gear up for another work week. I've got 12 work days at The Coast before I go on leave so I need to makes sure my replacement (also my nephew) is as prepared as I can make him. Just a little mental stress to add to the physical. I'm glad that I had some down time because I feel overwhelmed from time to time these days, I'm not going to lie. But life is still good.

And in 1 week, it'll be good, Renaissance style!

HUZZAH!!

When was the last time that you recall someone you knew was someone who asked nothing of you?

I rarely blog twice in one day but I HAD to stay...in no uncertain terms...

FUCK YOU, CANCER!

Brother Ed and Natalie are some of the coolest, nicest, most incredible people I have had the pleasure to meet over the years. Hell, she made Spencer a shark hat (and mama one to match) just out of the goodness of her heart. And Ed has been the epitome of awesomeness when it comes to dealing with his lung cancer. So it breaks my cold, black heart that the cancer has spread. But Natalie said they're ready to beat the beast, and I know that they will. They have an entire army of people that feel the same way I do behind them. If anyone can beat this, THEY CAN. No doubt.

But I have to question...why do these terrible things happen to people I'm crazy about??

I know that bad things happen to bad people as well, but screw them. And bad things happen to good people that I don't know, too. I know horrific things don't single out hardworking, awesome, decent people, but it sure feels that way sometimes. It FEELS like the scumbags out there get away with murder and get things handed to them that they flat out don't deserve. While the people who deserve a life full of happiness get the shit stick. Too many people in my life have gotten knocked down when they've always been upstanding. It just makes me angry, you know? Flat out sick.

But everyone needs to channel their anger and energy into being this incredibly huge and powerful support system, or at least that's what I think. Everyone in Cleveland loves them. Everyone that loves them HATES cancer. Maybe a higher power...God, Buddha, Zeus, whoever...won't be able to ignore so many people praying for the same, positive outcome. Strength in numbers, and all that jazz. Anyway, if you have any extra favors to call in, please send some good thoughts into the cosmos for my pals. It would be much appreciated and probably garner some good karma (though I'm on the fence about that bitch).

She's got plenty of rhythm. Got plenty of jive.

You know, you can call me frosty white or pasty or Casper or whatever, but at least my skin is a natural color. I'm sorry but chicks do NOT look good when they're orange. I don't get that look at all. Did you wake up one morning and think, "I've never seen anything more attractive than a Dorito, and that is what I strive to look like."  A healthy glow I get, as well as people who tan naturally. But those who pay to be the color of Ernie from Sesame Street? Confusing.

I may hate fake skin but I still love fake jugs. Does that make me a hypocrite?

And it's not really fake jugs that I love so much as it is LARGE jugs. I like when women look like WOMEN and not young boys. What is appealing about that? Busts and hips and thighs and curves...delicious. Plain and simple.

And now here's something we hope you'll REALLY like!

Recently, I have really embraced what is good and important in my life and have acknowledged that any ridiculousness (of the effed up variety) and drama is dead-n-buried. My life doesn't need to be a circus...though I still wouldn't mind joining THE circus. But I digress. I know how lucky I am. I'm surrounded by real, amazingly hilarious, bizarre, and authentic individuals. I'm jealous of them, in a GOOD WAY. I want to learn from them. I want to emulate them. I want them to know how damn cool I think they are and how they make my life full. Some people don't have such luck. Some people are surrounded by phonies and are phonies themselves, though they'd never admit it. I've been able to trim any of that fat over the years. I feel lighter. And more awesome.

I've said it before and I'll say it until the day I die...life is good.

Don't think I'm being a philosophical softie and/or nut job. You know I despise those poetic types. I'm just telling it like it is. I'm laughing at the clowns I've had to encounter rather than letting them disgust me. They aren't worth my time. They aren't worth your time either. I'm wiping the slate clean and giving some people a second chance. And if they really ARE who they've proven to be thus far...they can kick rocks.

 But don't let this new found lightness fool you...I'm still going to rant! I just ranted about orange women! But I have to do that so my sarcastic and cynical side stays alive and well. I'm nothing if not adorably snarky and scrappy!

The net reward would justify the collosal mess they'd made of their lives.

HUZZAH!

That's right Montagues and Capulets, break out the Mead and hold on to your chastity belts cause we're going to the Renaissance Faire! Next weekend, the husband, the wife (that would be Phee-Bizzle) and I are going to Geneva for what happens to be Pirates Invasion Weekend at the Renaissance Faire and I really can't wait. I want to see some wenches, watch some jousting, and buy one of those crowns with all the ribbons. I predict a splendid time, especially going with Todd and Phoebe. I need to brush up on my Faire speak so I don't just say HUZZAH every five seconds.

And the Faire isn't the only thing filling my dance card.

I should be taking it easy and I will be. All of my upcoming activities can be participated in by sitting in a chair. This weekend is Rock-n-Bowl (which I missed last year because we were boxing up the Ol' Kentucky Corral) with the following weekend being the Faire. Then there's Road Rash Bash, whcih I manage to miss every year for one reason or another, and then the Granger Danger extravaganza at the Wildman Compound. How's that for pure awesomeness?

I can't make any guarantees about which events I'll be able to waddle to, especially since I'm scheduled to bust in only 30 days. But I'm going to do my best to make it to at least ONE of these events (outside of the Renaissance Faire, which is a given...huzzah). As I said to Carol High Hair, Spencer is destined to be born into a life of rock-n-roll so I might as well take a chance that my water could break in public. I've seen some of these people toss their cookies, fall on their asses, and act a fool...they can see my amniotic fluid.

Speaking of fluid, I have a doc appt today. Read about it HERE later.

Enjoy your Tuesday, one of the most annoying days of the week.

I didn't know where I was at first just that I woke up in your arms.

I can finally comment on blogs again! Oh happy day! I was about ready to give blogger the old heave-ho out of utter frustration but my commenting abilities are BACK. You can thank your lucky stars, just as I am. And speaking of blogging, I wish some of you were doing more of it. I need things to read and miss your jabber. I've got 12 weeks of down time coming up. Entertain me. I plan on going back to the get-go, re-reading and tagging all of my entries. Not sure if I'm ready to rehash the past but I'm going to. Hopefully I'll come out the other side relatively unharmed. Here's hoping.

Not so unharmed is my skull which has been throbbing for days. Woke up from a cat nap yesterday with swollen eyes, a bloody nose, and a pulsating brain I'm pretty sure was trying to escape. It was a horror show, indeed. Also a horror show was later in the evening when Santo despite instruction and multiple warnings, punched me in the stomach. I silently cried for multiple reasons: it hurt, I was worried about Spencer, and I may have finally accepted that we can't have those 2 dogs and an infant in the same house. My guts and my heart hurt.

Believe it or not, I love my dogs. But we've worked with them for 3 years and they're getting more hyper and insane, not less. I'm going to be a first-time mom and that's scary enough without being afraid of your own dogs. If it were up to Todd, they'd be in new homes already. But I can't abandon my dogs. And I can already here some people making comments...bit you're not in my situation. If anything happened to Spencer because I couldn't let two unstable dogs go...well...

Moving on before my nose starts to bleed again.

I have goals for today. I have to clean our room, my bathroom and Spencer's bathroom so all the trash is ready for garbage day or Good Will. Fascinating, I know. Then I want to paint some robots and/or space monsters for the nursery since I didn't get to it yesterday. Then I want to spend the rest of the night on the couch with my husband, abusing Netflix and On Demand. Work hard in the morning to be rewarded at night, kind of thing.I just need to get out of this bed first. Maybe some motivating music with help.

And speaking of motivating music (watch me procrastinated), I hope to make it out to Rock-n-Bowl next Saturday to see some of your adorable faces and rockin' bands. I'm also hoping to hit the Ren Faire, Road Rash Bash, and Granger Danger. Damn, I have cool friends! and if my water breaks at any of these events, so be it! My little monster was destined to be born into a world of rock-n-roll!!

Todd said I was his best friend the other night

: )

I whisper sweet things. You tell all your friends. They'll come running to me.

James Taylor, you really effed things up when you covered "Handyman". I've recently re-fallen head-over-heels for the original and then my mom pointed out that you covered it (probably in the hit-or-miss 1970s) and it ALL came rushing into my brain at warp speed. Your horrific cover of an awesome jam. I've never liked you, James Taylor, but now I downright despise you and your lack of range. You probably made Jimmy Jones roll over in his grave...if he's dead...not fully informed on that one.

I need to get a turntable into my life. My records are just sitting in the art room feeling forgotten, unloved and under appreciated, much like many annoying American women. I also need a jukebox, and I think I need it more than a Ms. Pac-Man machine but that's still up for debate. I've got a lot of 45s that would make for one HELL of a 50s/60s dance party jukebox. I need to start squirreling away nuts to make this dream come true. I also have to ignore the nagging voice saying "Jukebox or your son's Ivy League college education??" 

I bet it's one of those forgotten, unloved and under appreciated American women.

He's a mean motah scootah and a bad go-gettah.

I have to get out of bed in half and hour to make a bunch of 10 year olds their breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, sausage, and hash browns. After that, parents should start arriving, gift bags should be dispersed, and I can reclaim Sunday as my own! Even if a middle-of-the-night Charlie Horse has destroyed my left leg. Blast.

Overall, I think I threw another successful par-tay. One of the ankle-bites told me Aiden's parties are the best. Aw shucks. We kicked it off with swimming, snacks, and tiki drinks (and only one time-out casualty for name calling). There was grilling, more swimming, a movie and epic sundae bar (while I got in my first Grayskull pool time of the summer), and then night swimming! I've got to say, our yard is made for night hangouts. Even though we spent 2 days prepping for this shin-dig, I felt relaxed chilling on my patio. Being entertained by Tessa and John Jackson didn't hurt either. They're my go-to people for...well, pretty much everything!

We finally closed the pool down around 10:00 and set the little monsters up with popcorn and a movie. How no one's intestines exploded, I'll never be sure. Though there could be nothing but carnage waiting for me when I vacate this bed! There could be a horror show down there. Hopefully they kept it all in for their parents and toilets.

And speaking of carnage, my house no longer falls under that category! It's squeaky clean and after today's patio construction, there will only be the basement project to finish. My stress levels are sinking like the Titanic!! Such a fancy free feeling. Now if only this baby bomb would make his debut so the Castle wouldn't have a chance to get destroyed! But that's wishful thinking. He'll appear when he's ready. And hopefully not while I'm going down my pool slide, as was suggested by my adult party guests.

Maybe post-pancakes, I'll go float around my pool in a tube. Nothing says "90 degree day" like a preggo chick slothing it up in a swimming pool. Now if only I could reclaim control over my left leg. I'll get you yet, Charlie Horse.

I've seen it all. I was here first.

Throwing up certainly tops my list of things I loathe. I toss my cookies and start to whimper and become very melancholy. When it comes to throwing up (and you'd think I'd be a pro by now...I threw up ten times more when I WASN'T pregnant), I do NOT know how to suck it up, man up, what have you. I'm a puss when my insides end up on the outside.

Did I mention that I'm sick?

I don't think this is any late-in-the-game morning sickness creeping in. I thought I had food poisoning on Thursday night/Friday morning but it wore away, at quesadilla-induced food poisoning tends to do. So I think I just pushed myself too hard this weekend and am paying for it now. The downside to a little too much sun-n-fun, if you will. But luckily, I already had a check-up scheduled for today...it's always good to double check the baby machine. I like to be on top of things. You can make that dirty if you want.

Speaking of sun-n-fun, this weekend really was solid. Thank sweet zombie Jesus for Todd's schedule change. We actually got to spend some time being goofy together, outside of our steak-n-movie date. We went to the zoo one day which was pretty fun, even if we didn't see any wolves, and pool-hopped the next. Good, clean, American holiday fun. Or something like that.

Missed Heavy Rebel for the 3rd year in a row but not many people I knew made the trek. I think the allure is starting to wear off a bit for a lot of people. But man oh man, there's nothing like a Saturday night at Heavy Rebel! I have some phenomenal memories of those Saturday night. Phenomenal and blurred. Anyway, I'm not complaining because I had fun celebrating Independence Day the way we did. Low-key, lotsa fun.

Capgun Cowboys reunion show on Friday. MUST attend. MUST!

And MUST find a way to stop songs from being stuck in my head!

You take me to and lead me through Oblivion.

I can officially say that we're having a baby next month. I remember on New Year's when Todd declared that we were having a baby this YEAR. Now it's right around the corner! I'm no longer feeling anxious...at least not in a bad, medication-needed kind of way. I'm just eager to hold my little monster. You know, after he's all hosed off and goo-free. We're ready. I mean, you're probably never REALLY ready but we have what we need to at least welcome him into this crazy life we've built. His room, his stuff, potentially rad parents, definitely rad aunts-n-uncles galore, and love. We've got love in surplus. I'd love to tote him around in utero forever because the world can be a rough place...but my ribs can't take the beatings. Soon, little ninja. Soon.

Had an impromptu date last night after the scheduled home renovation project wrapped up early. Hooray! We have baseboards! The formal, no-need-for-it living room and dining room are DONE! We went out to put a hurting on some steaks and then parked it on the couch to watch "Devil", which was neither horrible nor awesome. I predicted the "Devil"'at the beginning. Go me. Anyway, I'm thinking we might get a date night part 2 today since we haven't spent much dough recently. I love having extra time together with Weasel. He's only been back on days for a week and I already feel more relaxed. Everything is settling into place and it feels damn good.

And tomorrow is the 4th of July which means some outdoor chill time, swimming, and hopefully a plethora of things that sparkle or glow!!! I like the 4th. I like painting my fingernails (we'll go with blue this year) and wearing the traditional colors like a proper nerd. As I get older I'm more into holidays and family stuff. It's good all around.

Everything is good all around.