It seems like it's raining all the time.

After a horrific day at work, Friday night was so good. My heart was pumped full to over flowing and we had a great dress rehearsal.

Last night, the night I've been looking forward to, was a disaster. I think us Pussyfoot Girls did a great job. Sold a little merch, didn't screw up too bad (I don't think I'll be doing "Stormy Weather" again any time soon though). Sure, I hear that we were called trash but I think that's to be expected. Tight skirts, tight sweater and all.

But there was some real damage. I got my heart broken...while sitting at the bar. How cliche. It's a long story and telling it now will just start the tears again and I can't handle that right now. I cried myself to sleep and cried myself awake. I really don't want to cry again right now. I can just say that nothing hurts worse than having a full heart broken. I went from being so happy to so incredibly sad. That transition isn't good for a person.

And a lot of people won't even care. A lot of people think this "relationship" I had was bullshit anyway. Fine, you're allowed to have your opinions. But it wasn't bullshit to me. I'm the one who pulled the plug so maybe you'll think I did this to myself but after lots of conversation, I could see where it was going...and it was going nowhere. I was assured that this person, this guy that I "cheese sandwich", was never going to change. That he was always going to be screwed up. That he just didn't know what to do.

But I love this guy...and he didn't even fight for me. In the end, I made his decision for him...which is exactly what I swore I wouldn't do.

Crying now.