We'll exhale. We'll high five. We will know at last how good it feels to be alive!

Join Us.

At first I was terribly disappointed and distressed but like most things, the new They Might Be Giants CD has grown on me like a strange fungus or extra appendage. The reason they have managed to remain my favorite band since 1990 is that they are who they are. You know it's a They Might Be Giants song upon first listen. and you have no choice but to respect the quirk. They don't try to be who they're not. They're just naturally awesome. So if you've picked up this album and are on the fence about it, give it time. Let your extra limbs develop!

My tickets have been secured for their Cleveland show. You might think, "But that's only 4 weeks after your supposed to give birth! It's irresponsible for you to be going to see a band!" I was kind of thinking the same thing...or at least I was slightly worried I'd be given the shit stick. So I didn't even bring up going. It was my fantastic hubby's idea. He said, "Who is going to the show with you? Your sister?" I questioned him about not minding if I went and he said he assumed I'd be going since they're my favorites and he'd happily spend the evening with Spencer. It didn't take any more arm twisting.

So the set list better blow MINDS since I'm leaving my 4 week old buddy!!

Speaking of blowing minds...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHEE-BIZZLE!!!

This is YOUR day! And I hope that it's awesome from the minute you wake up until the minute you fall into bed. And when you DO fall into bed, I hope it's either nakedly with your husband OR in a drunken stupor from too much fun. It's been many moons since I've seen a drunk Phoebe. Or a naked one for that matter. I can't wait to celebrate your 36 years at the Renaissance Faire on Sunday (I told Spencer he MUST stay in his cushy waterbed until AFTER said Faire). I haven't spent nearly enough time with you this year which is a bummer but I have boatloads of good memories to tide me over between hangouts. So HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, MISERY GUTS!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Anything else I need to blather on about on this fine morning?

Um, my contractions are all over the map (an hour and half, 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 41 minutes, 4 hours). And I don't really care that Amy Whinehouse is dead, even is that sounds cold. I didn't personally know her and if you mess with meth, what do you expect? Oh, and congratulations to Little Erin and Wolfboy Slim on their news. RAD!

I guess that's all I've got.

The net reward would justify the collosal mess they'd made of their lives.

HUZZAH!

That's right Montagues and Capulets, break out the Mead and hold on to your chastity belts cause we're going to the Renaissance Faire! Next weekend, the husband, the wife (that would be Phee-Bizzle) and I are going to Geneva for what happens to be Pirates Invasion Weekend at the Renaissance Faire and I really can't wait. I want to see some wenches, watch some jousting, and buy one of those crowns with all the ribbons. I predict a splendid time, especially going with Todd and Phoebe. I need to brush up on my Faire speak so I don't just say HUZZAH every five seconds.

And the Faire isn't the only thing filling my dance card.

I should be taking it easy and I will be. All of my upcoming activities can be participated in by sitting in a chair. This weekend is Rock-n-Bowl (which I missed last year because we were boxing up the Ol' Kentucky Corral) with the following weekend being the Faire. Then there's Road Rash Bash, whcih I manage to miss every year for one reason or another, and then the Granger Danger extravaganza at the Wildman Compound. How's that for pure awesomeness?

I can't make any guarantees about which events I'll be able to waddle to, especially since I'm scheduled to bust in only 30 days. But I'm going to do my best to make it to at least ONE of these events (outside of the Renaissance Faire, which is a given...huzzah). As I said to Carol High Hair, Spencer is destined to be born into a life of rock-n-roll so I might as well take a chance that my water could break in public. I've seen some of these people toss their cookies, fall on their asses, and act a fool...they can see my amniotic fluid.

Speaking of fluid, I have a doc appt today. Read about it HERE later.

Enjoy your Tuesday, one of the most annoying days of the week.

The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see.

"I can't wait to walk hand in hand with you on the streets of NYC" - Weasel text.

I. CAN'T. WAIT. EITHER. BABY. I feel like I need to buy some hats. New York City seems like the kind of place where you should wear hats. Like I've said, I've been there but it was usually with a guy who was a total nightmare, zero dollars to do anything with, and just a generally bad disposition. Though I did once go to Pickliscious Pickle-On-a-Stick, which doesn't seem to be in business anymore.

Shucks.

This time around, I'm going with people I'm bananas about and we're going to do awesome shtuff! One day, we're having "Museum Day" and going to MoMA, The Natural History Museum, Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum, The Museum of Sex, and the Central Park Zoo. That sounds like a great effing day (especially if it includes a hot dog from a street vendor or a deli pickle)! This day also includes me having a  moment outside of Tiffany's. What could be better?

And I'm totally enjoying the fact that if anyone asks me what I did on Easter, I can say, "I had a lovely brunch with friends in New York City". Hopefully that isn't followed with, "And then we got mugged by some total hooligans at gun point and I wet my pants". I'm hoping a pregnant person isn't a large (no pun intended...I can button my pants again, after all) target for crime. Even though I'll be 23 weeks then, I WILL kick-ass if need be.

Kicking Ass in New York City. Sounds like a movie staring Kurt Russell.

You called me last night on the telephone.

And I was glad to hear from you 'cause I was all alone.

You said, "It's snowing, it's snowing! God, I hate this weather."

Now I walk through blizzards just to get us back together

We met in the springtime at a rock-and-roll show.
It was on the Bowery when it was time to go.
We kissed on the subway in the middle of the night.
I held your hand, you held mine, it was the best night of my life.


'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City!
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty!
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see.
But the best thing about New York City is you and me!

Statue of Liberty, Staten Island Ferry, Co-op City, Katz's and Tiffany's!
Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge, The Empire State where Dylan lived!
Coney Island and Times Square, Rockefeller Center!
Wish I was there!


You wrote me a letter just the other day.
Said, "Springtime is coming soon so why don't you come to stay."
I packed my stuff, got on the bus, I can't believe it's true.
I'm three days from New York City and I'm three days from you.


'Cause everyone's my friend in New York City!
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty!
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see.
But the best thing about New York City is you and me!

If I get through this part, will the next one be the same?

Punching babies, kicking dogs. Round up your children. Protect yer pets.

Might as well lay it right out on the table that the possible weird news that I thought turned out to be normal news is back to being weird and somewhat mind-numbing. Once again, we'll know more in a few weeks. Patience is a virtue, it's just not one of mine so...yeah. Awesome. Then pile on top of THAT some other rotten news that I wasn't expecting and didn't want to hear (not my news to tell but affects me and will hopefully end up being nothing) and I'm just all kinds of sucko over here.

Todd's come down with some gross sickness that I'm trying to avoid at all costs but will no doubt knock my legs out from under me. It's inevitable.  I've been informed that I don't have to visit his grave if it's raining (courteous since I don't like being in wet clothes) so it must be pretty rough. I'm super looking forward to catching it and adding to my melancholy.

We missed the engagement bonfire and the baby shower and even though he made it to the game (18th row tickets for his birthday from his wiiiiiife), he spent all night tossing his cookies and dealing with the worst headache of his life. Things are currently NOT awesome. That was a pretty awesome run-on sentence up top there though. Leave it to me to ramble my stress away.

Rot.

Today is the 115th anniversary of the X-Ray. We're old friends.

I see some retail therapy in my future, thanks to my mother. Cardigans and dresses and boots, oh my! H&M isn't going to know what hit it!! I'm shaking up the way I dress because dressing scummy makes me feel scummy any more. I need to put a little pep-in-my-step and shake things up. Sure, I'm not fond of all the exfoliating and plucking and shaving and waxing and ironing and laundering and primping it takes to look put-together and sassy...but maybe good outsides will create good insides. 60s Mod-ish is a good look for me, I think. No more dressing like a teenage boy unless I'm painting.

Maybe I should just have a New Year's Eve party and end 2010 earlier...