She's got plenty of rhythm. Got plenty of jive.

You know, you can call me frosty white or pasty or Casper or whatever, but at least my skin is a natural color. I'm sorry but chicks do NOT look good when they're orange. I don't get that look at all. Did you wake up one morning and think, "I've never seen anything more attractive than a Dorito, and that is what I strive to look like."  A healthy glow I get, as well as people who tan naturally. But those who pay to be the color of Ernie from Sesame Street? Confusing.

I may hate fake skin but I still love fake jugs. Does that make me a hypocrite?

And it's not really fake jugs that I love so much as it is LARGE jugs. I like when women look like WOMEN and not young boys. What is appealing about that? Busts and hips and thighs and curves...delicious. Plain and simple.

And now here's something we hope you'll REALLY like!

Recently, I have really embraced what is good and important in my life and have acknowledged that any ridiculousness (of the effed up variety) and drama is dead-n-buried. My life doesn't need to be a circus...though I still wouldn't mind joining THE circus. But I digress. I know how lucky I am. I'm surrounded by real, amazingly hilarious, bizarre, and authentic individuals. I'm jealous of them, in a GOOD WAY. I want to learn from them. I want to emulate them. I want them to know how damn cool I think they are and how they make my life full. Some people don't have such luck. Some people are surrounded by phonies and are phonies themselves, though they'd never admit it. I've been able to trim any of that fat over the years. I feel lighter. And more awesome.

I've said it before and I'll say it until the day I die...life is good.

Don't think I'm being a philosophical softie and/or nut job. You know I despise those poetic types. I'm just telling it like it is. I'm laughing at the clowns I've had to encounter rather than letting them disgust me. They aren't worth my time. They aren't worth your time either. I'm wiping the slate clean and giving some people a second chance. And if they really ARE who they've proven to be thus far...they can kick rocks.

 But don't let this new found lightness fool you...I'm still going to rant! I just ranted about orange women! But I have to do that so my sarcastic and cynical side stays alive and well. I'm nothing if not adorably snarky and scrappy!