For the past few days, I've felt a lot like I was under water. My brain was all over the place and I just generally did not like how I was feeling. The scattered brain was starting to affect my physically and my body has enough problems! I knew I had to put a stop to it...the weirdness...somehow because feeling like you're drowning...not really a lot of fun. So yesterday I said, "I'm done feeling like this. Simple as that. There are too many important things to do to drown right now".
Todd thought maybe I had "cold feeties". The fact that he used the word "feeties" let me know that if I WAS having them, he wasn't worried about it. He knows my love is solid. But it wasn't cold feet. I don't like that term. That term makes makes it seem like the person with cold feet is having doubts about what they're doing. No doubts here. Jitters. I could stand the term jitters because I think that's just a synonym for "nerves". And yeah, I have nerves. Is everything going to get done in time? Am I going to trip? Is everyone going to have a good time? Will I cry? Stuff like that. But my feet are TOASTY warm. His are "hot cha cha".
Interjection: I saw a brown SUV yesterday. Chocolate brown. I haven't seen a brown car since my Dad drove a Cadillac in the 80s. Is brown coming back in terms of popular car color? I bet some people are going to question my vision. This SUV was brown. Seriously.
Carrying on.
So even though I've decided not to drown, I still can't sleep. I'm very much a zombie today. But it's PJ Thursday and we get to hang out with Johnny which is flat out rad. Haven't spent a lot of time with that kid in recent months. But when we do all get together, he's Switchblade and it feels just like it always has. I have a feeling that's going to feel pretty good. Todd and Johnny are my best friends, my main dudes, my partners-in-crime. I'm really looking forward to tonight. To this whole jam-packed weekend, actually.
I just told Carol to "take a minute to feel bad and then tell that bad feeling to take a hike". Something about the repetition of words made me feel it was a really solid sounding statement!
Anyway, enjoy your weekends, no matter where their potential falls on the Boring to Awesome scale. I'll be hovering around the Awesome end of things if you want to find me.
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