He says, "I got mine but I want more".

Sometimes, stopping by someone's house ot say "good-night" involves nudity!

Today was a monumental day for little, ol', beer drinkin', curse wordin', pussy footin' me. A day that I am glad I survived without my head rolling off. I think I only got the itchies once and it was a very brief episode. I am proud of myself and to be honest, very excited and giddy.

I met one of the offsping today and SHE LIKED ME!

That's right. I met one of the children that was built from 50% of the man I love's DNA. It was bone-chilling. I was terrified this morning. I got up, got pretty, got confident, but FORGOT to not have a slight hangover! People said things like "She's just a kid" but kids are scary, terrifying monsters in small packages and she could make or break me, in a way. But really, I wanted her to like me and I wanted to like her. She was goofy and so was I. I was my regular retarded self and I guess she must have found that entertaining. I've always been a hit with the 9-14 crowd. She told her pops she liked me. So she's goofy AND smart (wah wah wah...my ego is HUGE today). I was pretty jazzed about that. I even let her hold my Devil Duck...and she made a joke about her chubby dad and how much dessert he ate at the white trash Golden Corral. I can see us having some bonding moments in the future. 1 down, 2 to go.

Items of note from my weekly Wednesday drinking night:

-A black man who was informed I have a boyfriend (I don't but everyone at the bar mistakes our constant, drunken flirtation and touchy-feeliness as a boyfriend/girlfriend thing) told me that he'd be my "bitch" any day of the week. No joke. Then he called me Leslie.

-My drinking buddy started crying when I told her my hypothetical baby name for my hypothetical unborn son. It moved her somehow. She could envision me with little baby ****** or something, I guess. And I think my hypothetical name seems to fit with the hypothetical potential father or something. It was very emotional...for her. And confusing for me and my all-mighty uterus.

-I somehow managed to get an entire group of people I didn't know to refer to me as a big, fat, pickle-eater and I liked it. I really hope I am a big, fat, pickle-eater some day. I thought it was impossible but it was suggested otehrwise last night. Hmmmm.

I have a drive-by date. I need to hose off and slap on a new pair of panties!