It sometimes feels like you're still here.

Blog Tracker is neat. That's all I'm saying.

Yesterday was a really tough and sad day for my family. It was one of those days where you have to drop everything that's bothering you personally and focus on the what's really important...the bigger picture. I don't want to go into great detail because it's not my place. I just want to say that we all have heavy hearts right now. And I'd like to give a really solid high five to all of my friends who rallied yesterday when we received the news. I hope I can be there for you and offer you the support and kind words that you sent my way. They will be relayed to the rest of my family and I truly do appreciate having friends like you. Everyone should be so lucky as to know the Ol' Kentucky Sharks. So, if you're not a total ass-face, you'll continue to keep my family in the "good thoughts" section of your brains for awhile. That would be just swell.

When all of this garbage started happening, and it IS garbage...it's not me pulling a "woe is me" because I'm not one of the main players but it is AWFUL and unfortunate and you wouldn't want it to happen to a member of YOUR family...my mom started talking about being grateful for the good things in your life, which is sometimes really hard to do when everything that CAN do wrong, is going wrong. Carol and I discussed how right now, it seems like every good person we know if getting royally screwed in one way or another. It really isn't fair. There are so many total scumbags out there...let them get screwed for a change. Regardless, I'm trying to focus on the good things but I'll be honest, it's difficult. I ususally get riled up when people say "it could be wrose". Sure, problems may pale in comparison to other people's problems, but that doesn't mean they hurt any less to YOU. So I'm trying to dock my boatload of problems for now and focus on the things in my life that kick major ass.

For example...

I'm happy with who I am as a person. Some people are not so lucky. If other people don't like me, that's their problem. Sure it stings sometimes but overall...if you don't like me or what I do or what I say, cut-n-run. I'll get over it.

I have the best group of friends anyone could ask for. They're all so funny and fun to be around. They're smart. They're creative. They're talented. They're insane and bizarre. They're daredevils. They rally. They are THERE. And my best friend? Be jealous.

I'm loved. And I love. And even if I'm "too upset to see it, our relationship is progressing". We're taking the big plunge and cohabitating. We have "the best stuff. The things dreams are made of". It hasn't been easy but we make each other stronger. We make each other better. We're in it for life. Todd and Lacey vs. The World.

I'm generally healthy. Sure, I hate my body and my body hates me but it's minor stuff. So I have Athsma? So I get Pneumonia? So I catch every little sniffle or cough? It's minor. It's not life threatening. I'm able-bodied and my mind works just fine. I am lucky.

There's so much more that I should feel fortunate about. I have a roof over my head (and LOVE my digs). I have a job and a pretty nice paycheck every week. I have hobbies and skills that set me apart (YES, Potsie. I WILL finish your paintings ASAP!!). Overall, contrary to popular opinion, I am a good person who would pretty much fight tigers for anyone. I'm forgiving. I'm loving. And I like to think I'm mildly entertaining in person. I have my bad days but I need to have LESS bad days. I need to seriously stop sweating the small stuff. Any issues that I've EVER had to face...they were eventually worked out. Nothing had killed me yet. This cat has a couple lives left. I need to start living them to the fullest. Not that I haven't lived...I have my stories, holy cow. But maybe there's something to be said for living each day like it's your last. I just need to be thankful.

And let's not forget my family. Without whom...