I've cashed my adorable government check (thanks, China) and have begun stimulating the economy by spreading the wealth around. Now I need my "economy" stimulated and the "wealth spread", if you catch my drift. And my "drift" needs catching, by the way. And what I mean to say is that I have Spring Fever...again. Va-voom! And it's not like last year where I was just leading with my vagina and I noticed every boy in the room (you tend to overdose on eye candy when your boyfriend is emotionally abusing you several times a week). Now it's just like I have a neon bar sign in my sights that is flashing my boyfriend's name with the stimulus bypassing my brain and going straight for my drawers. Trashy, I know. Dirty, and I like it. It's been hard to sit still today...is there an equivalent to "blue balls" for girls? Cause I've got it. The equivalent. Not the balls. I need a cold shower or wet towel. Or nakie boyfriend!
Pause. Regroup. Grow up. Focus.
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I'm drawing blanks. I have nothing that isn't at least PG-13 to say! I could talk about how we spontaneously went to the movies last night and he whispered in my ear and pulled me close to him but THAT made me warm up. I could blather about how he fixed the bedroom TV and I planted myself in the nook while we watched Family Guy but we were all arms and legs and head rubbing and purring so THAT won't help me. Oh this morning? A morning that is usually started with a quick kiss, a hug, and an "I love you"? Yeah. Eff that just like your sister did the football team. This morning paved the way for my filthy brain to start patting itself on the back! I want to go home and get a "pat on the back" myself but nooooooooooo! I'm getting my wig done did by the foxy Anna Banana! But since I was informed that gettig a skunk stripe is going to get me married off...I betcha the clothes will go flying when I get home. Can someone please slap me on the back of the hand or something? Jesus.
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Uh...I don't even feel like yapping about Heavy Rebel! DAMN!
I'm sure this feeling will end. It always does. It's fleeting...like an orgasm after a quickie! At least I'm not crying my eyeballs raw and hiccuping and hoping that a train will bust through my window and take me out! And for serious numb nuts...I'm never suicidal no matter how much I bawl. There's too many things I haven't done yet in life and too much fun to be had. There's always a calm after the storm or whatever. Plus, my vag would never forgive me if ghost intercourse was a let down. So just let me enjoy my frisky mood but don't stand too close to me. It could be contagious. Spring Fever is something that medical experts haven't spent nearly enough time studying. So says I...Nurse Lacey Cakes!
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