I never knew...what good love could do.

I wish I had some pie. Where are you with pie, Rocko?

I'm having a lot of random thoughts. Right now I'm thinking about whether or not chicks can get jock itch because I can't keep my paws out of my drawers. And I can't stop talking about it. I'd probably chase a bum down the street just to talk about how itchy I am in the knickers. I think it's due to me being a cheapskate and getting generic detergent. I'm going to have to buy new undergarments before work tomorrow so no one sees me fussing with my bits! Damn, I wish I had fingernails.

Now that Issac Hayes has thrown in the bloody and sweaty towel, abandoning his post as the voice of Chef on 'South Park', I can honestly say that I hate Scientologists even more. I think we should bring back religious persecution. We need a healthy dose of it right about now. And someone needs to wipe out Tom Cruise, for crying out loud. I think I am going to plan The Crusades, take 2. They better write Chef out in some dramatic fashion. He should get Ebola. And then give it to Ryan Foltz, brand new owner of a collection of Sanding Sticks, available at Sear's.

When my fella was in seventh or eighth grade, he had a mullet and was the most adorable thing I've ever seen. I've been carrying around a school photo of him all day and it's kept my spirts high, eventhough I'm going on two very snore-interrupted hours of slept and a heavily liquid Sunday diet. We slumber partied at his digs for the first time last night and it was nice to have my arms and legs wrapped around a big, warm man. He probably wished I had taken the time to shave my legs. Nice time to get hygenically lazy.

There's goofiness oozin' out my vagina today, I'll tell you. I'm smitten. I'm beyond smitten. I cheese sandwich a NASCAR fan, by golly! But I will say, his love of NASCAR won me $110 as I joined the work pool to lengthen that list of things we have in common to include more than bars, beers, and bad behavior. Jimmie Johnson was my guy yesterday and he blew my mind during the last lap, as all men tend to do. Bah dunt dunt. Now my pockets are fat and I'm taking Leo out for steaks. He has to deliver the winnings he owes me fashioned into a little ten dollar bouquet...pantsless. We're goons. I've never been happier.

At the upcoming "March Madness Beach Party Birthdays" celebration, there's going to be a bacon eating contest. I won't be participating. I'm not buying the bacon, cooking the bacon, or scarfing the bacon. I will, however, be tossin' some cash flow out to buy the TROPHY! It wouldn't be a real contest without a flippin' TROPHY! I wish I could get one with a dancing piece of meat on top but I think that might be tuff to find. Though I think they have trophies with cows on top...for rodeos, cattle roping, Best of Show. Man, I don't know if I'm more excited about getting kissed good-bye at work or about this mothertruckin' trophy! TROPHY!!!

Speaking of this shin-dig, I'm slightly disappointed about one name absent from the guest list. I guess I can understand not wanting to come to yet another par-tay when we just recovered from My Birthday Party Pajama Jam AND New Year's Eve. But still...not showing up at all is a pretty bold statement and seems slightly over the top. And it just burns my toast since it seems like I can't get this person interested in doing much of anything that I'm involved in. Just a little irked. No major surgery needed. Just needed to let it all out. Trying not to keep things all bottled up, y'all. I'll be at the party...dressed like goldfish bait, if everything goes my way...and I'll be having more fun than you can shake a hula skirt at.

This current season of Gilmore Girls has been highly disappointing. I didn't like how Lorelai treated Luke. I wanted to box Rory's face in. I'm totally anti-Luke's long lost daughter. About the only "thumbs up" thing that I can rally for is Lane and Zach getting engaged. Phoebe and I were mulling around how we think the series will end since we're thinking next season will see the end to the quick wit and speed chatter. Somehow it was decided that Lorelai and Rory will be pregnant at the same time. As long as Sebastian Bach is some how involved, I can dig it! How did I get on this subject? I watched the entire season 4 and 5 box sets while I was sick-o. I've got Gilmore on the brain.

Thank GOD Netflix is bringing DEGRASSI JUNIOR HIGH SEASON 1!!!