All I know dissolved, I could never reundo you.

My little life, as of recently, has been quite the sausage party. And by that, I mean boys from my past, present, and future (yes, I have a magic 8-ball AND a magic Ipod) have been circling in one fashion or another like buzzards waiting to feast on my rotting corpse. But seeing as I'm afraid of birds big and small, I really hope a buzzard doesn't feast on my rotting corpse because that might scare my ghost.

One of my ex-fellas came around recently. It was pretty gnarly to tell you the truth. I'm glad that we stopped wanting to stab each other in the eyeballs with an assortment of objects long enough to become pals. And I'm glad I found out that he DID sleep with that sleaze-beast (I knew it all along, mother truckers) AFTER I had decided not to stab him in the eyeballs with various objects. All is well. He's my brah now and I'm putting money on red that he'll be my new local drinking buddy. I've put the past behind me and my behind in my pants.

Drunk-dialed Leo while hosting the big party on Saturday. It's really not in good taste to drunk-dial someone three times in a row when you KNOW their kids are all sleeping in the bed with them and it's 2:30a. There was a discussion that freaked me out, ruined my weekend, and made things tense at work. But we have a "free nights and weekends" phone call scheduled so hopefully my sleep with be nightmare-less. I told him I loved him. He said it was nice...or great. I was sauced so all he gets are cheese sandwiches from now on.

Today is the one year anniversary (lots of anniversaries recently...my ex-wedding anniversary, today's anniversary, and Saturday will be the one year anniversary of the first time a certain someone put his fingers in my pockets and smooched on me) of the day my husband left me. Hooray! I mean, I got up and washed my hair for this day of all days!? But fo' real, everything is gravy nowadays. I just wanted to throw it out there that one year ago today, I was hanging on by a thread. Now I at least have 10 threads. A small rope if you will.

I was going to write about another boy but I want to drink Pepsi.