Don't fuss. Don't fight. Just have a good time.

Last night, after many tall boys and a shot of Tullamore Dew with the beautiful Queen La Tata, Bert, the singer for the Screamin' Demons, taught me how to take the plastic rings from a six pack and wriggle them all the way around my body without letting go. Anyone can do it but it looks like you're all gross and circus freaky to a person clueless to the technique. This, along with a Slayer-inspired pentagram yo-yo trick, made Bert a smashing success in Cleveland. Switchblade came to the conclusion that in order to get the chicks, you have to yo-yo since Bert had several female eyes fixed on him while he worked his magic...even when he "walked the dog". I'm sure Switch will become a yo-yo fiend the same day he learns the remaining notes to "Eye of the Tiger". I used Bert to help get Lords of the Highway to play "County Fair" and they dedicated it to us (actually, Sugar at one point said, "It's your night, Lacey" because they played everything I wanted to hear...thanks guys!).

It had been suggested at a much earlier date that Bert is the male me and I am the female Bert. After verifying that he isn't a heinous swamp mutant, I accepted this statement as fact. I don't exactly remember why, but we were chasing each other down a Cleveland street, just laughing and trying to kick each other, after a night of some poorly coreographer ninja-style fighting at the Beachland. I want to date someone like thay...someone I can goof off with. THAT is what I miss about "you know who".

Tonight: The Pussyfoot Girls have to practice hardcore! This is our last night to work out the kinks before the dress rehearsal and I just don't think we're ready. We may have to make cuts and adjustments to our set and I don't think we want to do that but we may have no choice(it may be you, "Human Fly")! Due to a difficulty in getting everyone at practice for one million different reasons (we love you, Mamacita)...and we can toss in that we don't have our music made with the sound effects and what not to use for cues and timing...I'm shakin' in my little kitty boots that we may not pull it off this time around. Queen La Tata and I both agreed that we're certainly a little more skiddish and we've got some real work to do if we're going to entertain a packed house on Saturday. Sheeeeeeeeesh! And we only have two hours to work with since The Queen demands beauty sleep and I demand to see Throw Rag!! Egads! Cross your paws!