She will shine like a new girl.

Yesterday will very well go down as one of the worst days of my life. I'd be willing to write the date down on a list in my own blood. It felt very much like when my husband left me. Same physical and emotional effects, but worse. I didn't leave my bed. I sat in the dark in silence for the longest time. Finally, I decided to at least put on a box set so I wouldn't just be alone with my thoughts. Never got around to eating anything though. That's typical when I'm emotionally riled up. It's been about...38.5 hours since I had any real food. My appetite took a hike. I actually sat there thinking, "How did I end up here? What a mess."

I'm not going to go into the blood-splattering gore. Just know it was a nightmare of a day. And the nightmare revolved around my relationship. We didn't break up...maybe we did, but we're together now. We're in it for life like we've always been. I really wish I could tell the whole story so I can explain but thinking about it all too much will just hurt me. I'm too cool for all this pain. I don't deserve what I got. And I think the people involved know that's true. Anyway, I'm currently invested in getting us back to where we were. Todd-n-Lacey vs. The World. We'll get there. Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.

So there you have it! I'm done pouting. I'm done weeping! I've got my backbone BACK! My heart is a little worse for the ware but he'll fix it. He promised. I know that yesterday turned me into a person I couldn't even look at in the mirror but it was only temporary. I just have to shake this nervous feeling that's looming. He told me that won't go away in a day and he's right. He knows what he did wrong. I know what he DIDN'T DO at all. There's no point in talking about this anymore. I just wanted anyone who was worried about me to know...you can still worry. But I think I'll be OK, eventually.

Love all of your guts!

I want to start a new life
With my valuable hunting knife
She will shine like a new girl
And I want to shout out our love to the world (Hit it!)

Everything I think about, I think about...
Everything I talk about, I talk about with you
But you don't know what I go through
You don't know

Days, they will turn into nights
But my valuable hunting knife
It will not rust through the tears
And it will not lose its appeal over years (Come on!)

Everything I think about, I think about...
Everything I talk about, I talk about with you
But you don't know what I go through
You don't know

I'll never know
I'll never know
And then I will run
And then I will. . .
And then I will hide
And then I will. . .
And then I will run
And then I will. . .
And then I will hide