You always have to make your own fun.

I'm going to jump right in. Dive head first into the menstrually bloody pool of the Blog-o-Sphere. The visual that is coming into my brain (which is currently shut off) is when Diane Freeling slid inot the recently dug foundation of their swimming pool while it was raining...at night...and caskets emerged with things resembling Angelina Jolie popping out. Yes, blogging these days reminds me of drowning with the rotting corpses of Native Americans. Pantie-wetting terror. I used to be so good at this. And I have such a vaginally-satisfying summer on the hoizon that I NEED to have a hard copy of. A hard and erect copy for posterity. I need to get back on my GAME, muthatruckers. And that is my promise to you...to slather your brains in seepage and gore that is produced by my life. That promise is brought to you by the letters T, M, and the number 5. Wow...I didn't dive in at all!! I belly-flopper per usual! Jack-ass.

So I put in my request for Heavy Rebel vacation days and it was approved!!! I practically tore open my shirt and yelled GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAALLLLL! But no one would have understood my excitement. Just thinking about piling in the Grey Ghost with my favorite Ol' Kentucky Sharks (Gills McHigh Hair, Shark Bones, Guest Starring Sharko, Johnny Sharko...and the as-yet-un-named Shark that I'm in lurve with), makes my eyeballs liquify. It has the potential to be the best year ever. It has the potential to erase my brain, and THAT is what I am after these days. I just want to put on some flip-flops, pile up my hair, and get sweaty, drunk, and obnoxious with the people I love and the people I have F-U-N with. There is no reason to be so stressed all the time! There is NO REASON why every time I take a shower, my stress tried to escape my body in the form of BLOOD POURING OUT OF MY FACE (I've been having a lot of nose bleeds recently...not facial stigmatas or anything). There's on 58 short days which is NOTHING since I started the countdown at 130. I used to have very little to look forward to...

In other news, I'm still in love. We "broke out fight cherry", as my "out of town bestie" Rocko says. In was pretty gnarly for a first major blow out. I was throwing ineffectual mental fists left-n-right. For a minute, I was ready to run for the hills because it felt like all too familiar territory with the yelling and the crying and the anger. But for whatever reason, we get over humps and fights and brawls so quick. So it's over now and we're all in lurve and shtuff again. I knew I was a happy clam with a happy clam when I just passed out on his lap at 9:00p while he passed out on my back. You might call us "old, tired fucks"...I call us "in it for life". And life is LONG! It requires an early bed time here and there. Bottom line...he's changing my life day by day. This thing on my face? It's called a smile and I dig it!

Alright...before I drown you by blowing a gigantic load of "emo" all over your face, I'll just tell you about a few upcoming punches on my dance card. I hope to see as many of you as possible at as many of these things as possible. Let me trade in the misery I've been covering you all in over the past 3 years for some good ol' fashioned awesomeness. And I promise, I'm going to keep all of y'all more up to date on the happenings of my little life. I mean, I'm sure that you would be have the person you are if you didn't know that while in Canada, Todd suggested we buy our wedding rings with the Skee-Ball tickets we accumulated. That's something that needs to be carved in stone, right there...though our grotesquely large knucles sort of made our gummy rings useless).

CALENDAR OF KICK-ASS-NESS

5/8 - Meatmen @ The Jigsaw

5/9 - Lords of the Highway and Uncle Scratch @ The Jigsaw

5/10 - Miss Firecracker One Woman Band @ Nemeth's

5/17 - Ladies Night w/ The Pussyfoot Girls @ The Sac

5/22 to 5/29 - DISNEY WORLD!!

6/3 - The Breeders @ House of Blues

6/12 - Iron Maiden @ Blossom

6/13 - Sasquatch and the Sick-a-Billies @ The Beachland

6/21 - Get Tank's w/ The Pussyfoot Girls @ The Sac

7/3 to 7/7 - HEAVY REBEL WEEKENDER ADVENTURE!

7/12 - The Pussyfoot Girls @ Rockabilly Deluxe 4!

7/19 - The Pussyfoot Girls @ Dragway 42 Rock-n-Race!

8/16 - The Pussyfoot Girls w/ THE HEPTANES @ The Sac

Annnnd...I'm spent.