The Cleveland "A"

As of January 1st, 2012...

2011-12-31T18:54:00.001-05:00

...I will no longer be posting here at The Cleveland "A". In my blog life, I kept my pre-pregnancy life and mommy life separated with The Cleveland "A" and The Family At 1313 Mockingbird Lane. But that's really ridiculous, I've come to realize. I'm still me but I'm also a mom now. I didn't stop being me because Spencer came into my life, I just got better. If I want to keep blogging, which I do, then everything needs to be rolled into one because that's how life is.
So starting tomorrow you can find me blogging about all things awesome at a new location. New year, new blog. I hope you'll follow along because I'm sure things will be as crazy as they've ever been because 2012 is going to be my year. So Happy New Year, loyal readers, and...good night.
http://FromBettieToBetty.blogspot.com

***

2011-12-21T10:07:00.000-05:00

Dear Santa:

I'm not sure that the man upstairs is listening anymore. Maybe he never was. So I'm relying on you, big man, to make some holiday wishes come true for me and the people I care about. It's not much to ask. I don't want to win the lottery or bring harm to anyone. I'm not asking for anything frivolous or silly. I know I've asked for a lot of things, a lot of help in my life but believe me, I would trade everything, anything that I have to just to see some miracles. And again, I stress, for me AND the people I care about most dearly. We all need some damn magic.

So in the words of Morrissey, Haven't had a dream in a long time. See the luck I've had can make a good man...bad. So, for once in my life, let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the first time.

...

Lord knows it would be the first time.

Merry Christmas.

***

2011-12-13T07:52:00.000-05:00

I really need something good to happen for X-Mas. And I'm going to be selfish and say I really need something good to happen for me this year. Usually, and a lot recently, I've been so worried about why so much junk has to happen to people I love and care deeply about. But right now, I need to think about me and my family, and damn...we need to catch a break. Something good HAS to happen for us. I'd pray for it but I'm still not talking to the man upstairs. If everything happens for a reason, I'd sure as Hell like to know why some of the things that have happened to my family went down.

I just need something. Anything.

I need one full day where I don't think about the morning after Spencer was born and everything fell to effing shambles. Like I've previously said, and it breaks my heart to even think it, I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare. But I'd want Spencer to be there. And I'd want him to be alright. And that's not going to happen. If by some wacko miracle, I got a chance for things NOT to be the way they are, that would mean there would be no Spencer. That thought is too much to take. So things are the way the way and I have to suck it up, accept it, and deal with it.

But I think I'm owed. And I want to collect. Now.

***

2011-11-29T06:43:00.001-05:00

I remember when blogging was my absolute favorite thing to do, then life got in the way and life got a little messy. So I'm here once again to let you know that I'm still alive and I still have every intention of continuing to blog about my little, insane, messy life.

Right now, life consists of being a mom to my best pal, Spencer. Man, that kid blows my mind. My heart is NO DOUBT on the outside of my body at all times, exposed to the elements. You think you're tuff? Become a parent. Then you realize that you are naked ad raw, no armor strong enough to protect you from constant worry, panic, hurt. THEN heap on top of parenthood the fact that your kid is sick or challenged or both. You become one walking open wound.

But the awesomeness outweighs any of the ick, I'll tell you what. I absolutely love being a mom. If I didn't get such a late start on parenting (and if Spencer didn't need just a little extra love...which I am MORE THAN HAPPY to give), I would've had a million kids. Sorry, vagina. It's true.

So that's where I'm at...still. Life revolves around being Spencer's mom and I wouldn't have it any other way. He stole my heart. I'd love to give him a brother or sister but I just can figure out how it would be possible for me to split my love between Spencer and someone else. He owns me. He can cure absolutely anything that ailes me. And that's why it hurts so bad to see him go through some of the things he goes through. He can turn my world upside down but I can't take away his pain. It's so unfair. But I try. Because NO ONE is going to tell me I was a bad mother. NO ONE is going to tell me I didn't give him 110% of myself.

It makes you wonder how shitty parents can be so shitty. How can you hurt your kids? How can you neglectthem? How can you abandon them? I won't lie. When Spencer was born, it flashed through my mind that maybe he needed more than I could give. Maybe there was someone that would be a far better mother to him than I could be. He was a hurt bird. Thinking about if there were parents that could take better care of a hurt bird was because I loved him so much. I wasnted what was best for him. It just took a minute to realize that I AM WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM.

And he's what's best for me.

So...I'm here. I'm breathing. I'm alive. And I'll be back.

***

2011-11-10T10:38:00.001-05:00

I hate 2011. It was supposed to be this incredible year. I was having a baby, my pregnancy was a cake walk, everything was golden. But that didn't last long, did it?

My son was born with all kinds of complications that have led to 5 I can't different sets of doctors and constant appointments and evaluations, including monitoring for cancer. And on the cancer front, Brother Ed is still fighting the good fight as it has shown up in his bones and who else is now on Team Cancer with Spencer? Phoebe! I still can't even believe this bullshit. I'm in shock that she had chemo and radiation this week. I can't believe that she's in such rocking spirits...I feel the same way after Spencer flashes a big smile while they're drawing his blood at the Hematology/Oncology clinic. My brother-in-law had to have surgery today so that he doesn't have to live the rest of his life in misery and I had to have surgery on Tuesday because I JUST HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH HAPPEN THIS YEAR!

I'm so overwhelmed. The hits just keep coming.

But I don't have time to fall apart because the cutest dude in the world, wearing his new orange monster jammies, is next to me sounding the alert that he's ready for his brunch. His goofball faces and silly antics are really the only things holding my head on right now. There are still several weeks left in 2011. I wonder what the Hell else could happen to me and the people I love. The people that don't deserve any of this shit.

And that's what it is. Complete shit.

***

2011-10-22T10:56:00.001-05:00

I've had to rearrange my life a little. Besides cutting down on my time in the Blogosphere, I've also cut down on my time in the working world. I have 2 weeks left of my maternity leave...a thought which makes me nauseated...and when I go back, I'll be working shorter days. This is good for many reasons. Spencer has a lot of appointments, I'm having emotional issues here and there, this will allow me more time to focus on his health and development, and less hours at the sitter. It was a tough decision but it's the right decision. Nothing is more important to me than Spencer. Nothing should be more important than your child, including your job. And luckily, everyone at work was understanding. We had some unexpected hurdles when Spencer was born, so people probably expected some changes to occur. But I felt bad asking for this. Like I'm a burden or like I'll slack at my job. But I need to learn how to not care. I'll do a good job like I've always done at work. But I need to do an AWESOME job at being a mom. Cause if I don't, I'll never forgive myself. Being the best mom Spencer can get is my top priority. I made a promise to him in the hospital and I'm keeping it. No matter what sacrifices I have to make.

***

2011-10-11T09:57:00.001-05:00

Life is hard. Trying to make sense of bad things that happen just causes more pain. I wish I could turn my brain off. The good days/moments are starting to outweigh the bad more and more but when the bad hits, it knocks the wind out of me. I know this drowning feeling will eventually pass but I'm not sure if I'll ever be 100% repaired. I never thought things would be this way. I'm living proof that if you think things can't/won't happen to you, they can. Having all the facts gives you all the power. I was clueless and now I'm making the slow climb back to solid ground.

***

2011-09-20T07:57:00.001-05:00

I should've written this yesterday on the day of the actual event but I was wrapped up in Spencer after a night away from him. So pretend it's yesterday as I say Happy 2nd Anniversary to my husband, my best friend, and the father of my son...the best thing that has ever happened to me. Two years ago, we were engaged, living at the Ol' Kentucky Corral, plain and simple. Fast forward to now...we're married, living at Castle Grayskull, Todd's working at a new place, and we had a baby...the coolest, most loved baby on the planet. Not bad. They say the first 2 years of marriage are the hardest. We've been dumped on a lot, especially in the last 6 weeks with Spencer's issues. But we made it. And hopefully the rest will be a piece of cake. And if it's not, we'll be OK. We can lean on each other. He promised my 60 years so we've got a ways to go.

Happy Anniversary, Weasel! I love you.

***

2011-09-13T16:57:00.001-05:00

I'm still alive, though some days it doesn't feel that way. Then other days, there's nothing I'd rather do that read books to my son and listen to him fart in his sleep. It's hard to be in these waves. I guess it's just going to take more time to feel like I used to...but I wish I knew how much. If on August 9th, you told me I would eventually be cracking jokes, leaving the house, and smiling...genuinely smiling, not putting on a front...I would've told you to eff off. Actually, I would've probably smiled and nodded but punched you in my brain using my mind. I am getting better day by day. I'm not totally repaired by any means. I'm still crying. I'm still at odds with a higher power. But I'm not where I was on August 9th. I'm not spending so much time on the bathroom floor. I'm enjoying the moments with my son. He's my best friend. I don't want to miss a minute of his life. Maybe I wish I could fast forward through some things but overall...being a mom beats anything I've ever done, lame and cliche as that may sound. I just need to get my spine sturdy. I'm the one that fights. It's in my programming. Anyway, I know this was baby related and the updates are more common over at 1313 Mockingbird Lane, but I wanted you to know I'm still alive.That's something to be thankful for.

***

2011-08-28T10:08:00.000-05:00

Life is hard. It's always been hard. When do I get a break? When will my family get a break? When will I stop asking why this is all happening??? I hurt from the inside out. I am greatly anticipating my official transition to robot.

***

2011-08-19T21:23:00.000-05:00

Probably won't be blogging very much for awhile. Spencer made an early entrance to our lives and it turns out he needs a little extra love and attention than the average bear. It wasn't what we were expecting but he is more than I could have ever imagined. He's got me wrapped around his tiny fingers. He owns me. I'm in love. But I'm also in a great deal of pain...probably because I love him so much. Spencer and Todd are my everything. Every extra ounce of time I have is theirs, now and forever.

This doesn't mean I'm quitting the blog game. I love it too much. I just need to settle back into life after living in 2 different hospitals for 10 days. Plus maybe I'll be more interesting if I'm blogging more sporadically. Anyway, stick around.

She's just trying to fit in but it's hard when she's never spoken to anyone.

2011-08-06T07:23:00.000-05:00

Life right now revolves around being pregnant and hopefully not being pregnant soon. My baby, my husband, my house, and making it through this last week of work...that's my life right now and I'm OK with that. In the blogosphere, I've separated the pregnant part of my life from the rest of it and at this point, there's no division. I'm anxiously waiting to bring my son into this world. That's the only event on my dance card...no Lady Lead Foot show, no Road Rash Bash, no Granger Danger. In fact, my dad has grounded me to only destinations between home and the hospital. Good looking out, dad.

I've been trying to do too much. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's part of nesting. Maybe I'm still determined to prove that I've rocked my pregnancy from beginning to end. But I'm tired now. I can only do what I can do at this point. And honestly, after today, Castle Grayskull will be in good shape and that'll be a load off my mind. I've got the whole kingdom to myself while the fellas go to the tractor pull, an event I am NOT sad to miss! I'm devoting any energy I have today to cleaning the art room. I have a feeling being a parent might be inspirational so I want to be ready.

Will I ever REALLY be ready? Probably not. Todd has been a parent for 10 years but he's never been a full time parent and he had HIS parents in the same house to help out. Spencer is going to be ours 24/7 and we're in this together. It's exciting. It's an adventure. It's also terrifying. But I'm glad I became a parent when I did. Not that there's anything wrong with breeding young. I had that option, too. I'm just glad that I've done so much... I traveled, I screwed up, I lived...selfishly. I didn't miss out on any experiences, even the painful ones. Now I can give 110% to Spencer and make sure he has the awesome life he deserves. And my experiences with him are just going to add to the awesomeness of my life. No doubt.

This is a blog about my life. And this is it.

Miles away from nowhere and the wind doesn't have a name.

2011-08-01T05:46:00.001-05:00

SCHMOWZOW! I can officially say I'm having a baby this month!

I know this isn't the baby blog but I thought it had to be documented. A year ago at this time (I think even on this DAY), we moved into Castle Grayskull and were months into trying to breed. Now look at us? Our house is a home and we're going to have a baby THIS MONTH (even if he is the maximum 2 weeks late...which I would like to think he wouldn't do to his mama).

As a last major outting before motherhood, Todd and I met Tessa (Phoebe ended up being too under the weather to attend) at the Great Lakes Renaissance/Medieval Faire and had a rad, if not HOT, afternoon. First off, Renaissance Faire merchandise is pretty much all awesome. If I had a surplus of funds, I would have left with one of everything...especially this octopus ring that I fell in love with. I settled for what I truly wanted...a glittery ribbon crown, which I wore all day, and a dyed fox tail which put my little immitation tail from Target to SHAME. I think Dr. Nightmare thought the tail was her new boyfriend when I brought it in the house.

Besides merchandise, I loved the general feeling of the faire, being tucked back under the trees like I was in Sherwood Forest (except there were cream puffs and pizza available). I'll give them props, their selection of snacks was extensive but it was too damn hot to want to eat, though Todd did put a hurting on a turkey leg. If you're into people watching, this was the place to be. The costumes (of all people there, not just employees) were amazing. And there was no shortage of things to do and see. Dancing, comedy, demonstrations, and my favorite, the jousting.

I was proud of myself for putting in 3 hours under the baking sun. I really did have a great time, though my back got angry and my feet weren't much happier. But my good mood was quickly SMOOSHED when we got on the highway in Geneva and drove right into a traffic shit storm. It took us an hour to go 6 miles and then 10 minutes to go 1/10 of a mile. Bad News Bears. Todd said at least we were spending time together...but I was uncomfortable, exhausted, and starving. It was hard not to cry. At one point, we threw the car into park and switched seats because I was having contractions and my son was seeing how far he could stick some appeandage under my rib cage. Grrrr.

3 hours and 15 minutes later (YES, longer than the amount of time we were at the faire), we pulled into Castle Grayskull. I was in pajamas and in bed with Dr. Nightmare in 2 seconds flat. Todd made me some dinner and I fell asleep with Top Chef D.C. Overall, I'm glad we went and I feel satisfied in my last roadtrip for awhile. We ran into Brother Ed and Natalie there and she told me about her short labor and (3 push) delivery. I hope I can channel her awesomeness on our big day! And just think, next year I can take Spencer to the faire.

HUZZAH! And let the final countdown begin!

Gives us those nice bright colors. Gives us the greens of summer.

2011-07-31T06:21:00.002-05:00

Another edition of Blogging From Bed, this time with a snorting husband next to me. I had one of the worst nights sleep I've had since being pregnant. Lots of tossing-n-turning, vivid dreams, and staring at the ceiling. Not awesome but I'm dealing since I was warned this would happen towards the end of baby-baking. The lack of sleep could be due to anxiousness and anxiety about when our little monster is going to appear or it could be because...

WE'RE GOING TO THE RENAISSANCE FAIRE TODAY!!

In a few hours, we'll be jumping in the car, turning on the tunes, and heading to Geneva-On-The-Lake for the Great Lakes Medieval Faire (after a stop off to grab my wife, Phee-Bizzle). I am so very excited! I can't remember ever going to a Renaissance Faire, it's my last hurrah before the baby comes, and I'm going to be surrounded by awesome, fun-loving people as my Tessa is meeting us there! It's just something different to do and it's something that is not alcohol centered. I can't wait to do things like this with Spencer. I want to see live-action chess, jousting, wenches, and all the amazing costumes! And I'm getting myself a crown, damn it, and hopefully something for my monster. It's going to be fantastic day. I just hope I don't go into labor there. I want all the creature comforts of modern medicine.

I'm going to go have apple pie for breakfast to start the day.

I'm so happy today!!

HUZZAH!!!

We'll exhale. We'll high five. We will know at last how good it feels to be alive!

2011-07-27T05:44:00.001-05:00

Join Us.

At first I was terribly disappointed and distressed but like most things, the new They Might Be Giants CD has grown on me like a strange fungus or extra appendage. The reason they have managed to remain my favorite band since 1990 is that they are who they are. You know it's a They Might Be Giants song upon first listen. and you have no choice but to respect the quirk. They don't try to be who they're not. They're just naturally awesome. So if you've picked up this album and are on the fence about it, give it time. Let your extra limbs develop!

My tickets have been secured for their Cleveland show. You might think, "But that's only 4 weeks after your supposed to give birth! It's irresponsible for you to be going to see a band!" I was kind of thinking the same thing...or at least I was slightly worried I'd be given the shit stick. So I didn't even bring up going. It was my fantastic hubby's idea. He said, "Who is going to the show with you? Your sister?" I questioned him about not minding if I went and he said he assumed I'd be going since they're my favorites and he'd happily spend the evening with Spencer. It didn't take any more arm twisting.

So the set list better blow MINDS since I'm leaving my 4 week old buddy!!

Speaking of blowing minds...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHEE-BIZZLE!!!

This is YOUR day! And I hope that it's awesome from the minute you wake up until the minute you fall into bed. And when you DO fall into bed, I hope it's either nakedly with your husband OR in a drunken stupor from too much fun. It's been many moons since I've seen a drunk Phoebe. Or a naked one for that matter. I can't wait to celebrate your 36 years at the Renaissance Faire on Sunday (I told Spencer he MUST stay in his cushy waterbed until AFTER said Faire). I haven't spent nearly enough time with you this year which is a bummer but I have boatloads of good memories to tide me over between hangouts. So HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, MISERY GUTS!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Anything else I need to blather on about on this fine morning?

Um, my contractions are all over the map (an hour and half, 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 41 minutes, 4 hours). And I don't really care that Amy Whinehouse is dead, even is that sounds cold. I didn't personally know her and if you mess with meth, what do you expect? Oh, and congratulations to Little Erin and Wolfboy Slim on their news. RAD!

I guess that's all I've got.

This is it, boys. This is war!

2011-07-24T19:01:00.000-05:00

I've got to say, I find it unusually sexy when Todd makes comments about Project Runway when I'm watching it (Top Chef,too...he knows why I have sharks named Fabio, Stefan, and Hosea) And I'm not talking about comments about how much he hates the show. I'm talking about observations that show he's been paying attention. He becomes this fashionista and it makes me laugh. And I think the laughing makes it all sexy, not to mention that he can usually pick the winners and losers! Metrosexual! But he's wrong about Lorena...she's beautiful. He's nutty on that one.

We just held hands while watching The Dilemma. Good time, bad film.

My skull has been an issue this weekend and has been randomly spurting blood out of my nostrils. Regardless, I made it out to the Roll-n-Bowl at Yorktown Lanes last night to see Miss Firecracker One Woman Band. My darling pal Carol was ON last night. She was full on rock star and flat out hilarious. When she gets nervous before shows, it always blows my mind because she OWNS. And she loves me more than bacon...she told me so. It was good to get pertied up and see pals. But Spencer let me know when he had enough and I followed his cue.

And because my pals are so flat out rad, Spence scored a gift last night. I was told it was a "third generation hand me down" which made it that much cooler. It ended up being a sweet vintage Yorktown Lanes t-shirt. Yeah, he is DESTINED to be awesome. It never stops boggling my mind how people have responded to my little Squiggy in such awesome ways. Thanks Jeremy and Niccole. You're awesome!

So after a day of cooking out and swimming fun at my sister's, I'm chilling in our bed with Dr. Nightmare watching more of my Project Runway marathon. Got to gear up for another work week. I've got 12 work days at The Coast before I go on leave so I need to makes sure my replacement (also my nephew) is as prepared as I can make him. Just a little mental stress to add to the physical. I'm glad that I had some down time because I feel overwhelmed from time to time these days, I'm not going to lie. But life is still good.

And in 1 week, it'll be good, Renaissance style!

HUZZAH!!

When was the last time that you recall someone you knew was someone who asked nothing of you?

2011-07-21T15:13:00.000-05:00

I rarely blog twice in one day but I HAD to stay...in no uncertain terms...

FUCK YOU, CANCER!

Brother Ed and Natalie are some of the coolest, nicest, most incredible people I have had the pleasure to meet over the years. Hell, she made Spencer a shark hat (and mama one to match) just out of the goodness of her heart. And Ed has been the epitome of awesomeness when it comes to dealing with his lung cancer. So it breaks my cold, black heart that the cancer has spread. But Natalie said they're ready to beat the beast, and I know that they will. They have an entire army of people that feel the same way I do behind them. If anyone can beat this, THEY CAN. No doubt.

But I have to question...why do these terrible things happen to people I'm crazy about??

I know that bad things happen to bad people as well, but screw them. And bad things happen to good people that I don't know, too. I know horrific things don't single out hardworking, awesome, decent people, but it sure feels that way sometimes. It FEELS like the scumbags out there get away with murder and get things handed to them that they flat out don't deserve. While the people who deserve a life full of happiness get the shit stick. Too many people in my life have gotten knocked down when they've always been upstanding. It just makes me angry, you know? Flat out sick.

But everyone needs to channel their anger and energy into being this incredibly huge and powerful support system, or at least that's what I think. Everyone in Cleveland loves them. Everyone that loves them HATES cancer. Maybe a higher power...God, Buddha, Zeus, whoever...won't be able to ignore so many people praying for the same, positive outcome. Strength in numbers, and all that jazz. Anyway, if you have any extra favors to call in, please send some good thoughts into the cosmos for my pals. It would be much appreciated and probably garner some good karma (though I'm on the fence about that bitch).

She's got plenty of rhythm. Got plenty of jive.

2011-07-21T08:55:00.000-05:00

You know, you can call me frosty white or pasty or Casper or whatever, but at least my skin is a natural color. I'm sorry but chicks do NOT look good when they're orange. I don't get that look at all. Did you wake up one morning and think, "I've never seen anything more attractive than a Dorito, and that is what I strive to look like." A healthy glow I get, as well as people who tan naturally. But those who pay to be the color of Ernie from Sesame Street? Confusing.

I may hate fake skin but I still love fake jugs. Does that make me a hypocrite?

And it's not really fake jugs that I love so much as it is LARGE jugs. I like when women look like WOMEN and not young boys. What is appealing about that? Busts and hips and thighs and curves...delicious. Plain and simple.

And now here's something we hope you'll REALLY like!

Recently, I have really embraced what is good and important in my life and have acknowledged that any ridiculousness (of the effed up variety) and drama is dead-n-buried. My life doesn't need to be a circus...though I still wouldn't mind joining THE circus. But I digress. I know how lucky I am. I'm surrounded by real, amazingly hilarious, bizarre, and authentic individuals. I'm jealous of them, in a GOOD WAY. I want to learn from them. I want to emulate them. I want them to know how damn cool I think they are and how they make my life full. Some people don't have such luck. Some people are surrounded by phonies and are phonies themselves, though they'd never admit it. I've been able to trim any of that fat over the years. I feel lighter. And more awesome.

I've said it before and I'll say it until the day I die...life is good.

Don't think I'm being a philosophical softie and/or nut job. You know I despise those poetic types. I'm just telling it like it is. I'm laughing at the clowns I've had to encounter rather than letting them disgust me. They aren't worth my time. They aren't worth your time either. I'm wiping the slate clean and giving some people a second chance. And if they really ARE who they've proven to be thus far...they can kick rocks.

But don't let this new found lightness fool you...I'm still going to rant! I just ranted about orange women! But I have to do that so my sarcastic and cynical side stays alive and well. I'm nothing if not adorably snarky and scrappy!

The net reward would justify the collosal mess they'd made of their lives.

2011-07-19T05:40:00.000-05:00

HUZZAH!

That's right Montagues and Capulets, break out the Mead and hold on to your chastity belts cause we're going to the Renaissance Faire! Next weekend, the husband, the wife (that would be Phee-Bizzle) and I are going to Geneva for what happens to be Pirates Invasion Weekend at the Renaissance Faire and I really can't wait. I want to see some wenches, watch some jousting, and buy one of those crowns with all the ribbons. I predict a splendid time, especially going with Todd and Phoebe. I need to brush up on my Faire speak so I don't just say HUZZAH every five seconds.

And the Faire isn't the only thing filling my dance card.

I should be taking it easy and I will be. All of my upcoming activities can be participated in by sitting in a chair. This weekend is Rock-n-Bowl (which I missed last year because we were boxing up the Ol' Kentucky Corral) with the following weekend being the Faire. Then there's Road Rash Bash, whcih I manage to miss every year for one reason or another, and then the Granger Danger extravaganza at the Wildman Compound. How's that for pure awesomeness?

I can't make any guarantees about which events I'll be able to waddle to, especially since I'm scheduled to bust in only 30 days. But I'm going to do my best to make it to at least ONE of these events (outside of the Renaissance Faire, which is a given...huzzah). As I said to Carol High Hair, Spencer is destined to be born into a life of rock-n-roll so I might as well take a chance that my water could break in public. I've seen some of these people toss their cookies, fall on their asses, and act a fool...they can see my amniotic fluid.

Speaking of fluid, I have a doc appt today. Read about it HERE later.

Enjoy your Tuesday, one of the most annoying days of the week.

I didn't know where I was at first just that I woke up in your arms.

2011-07-16T07:01:00.000-05:00

I can finally comment on blogs again! Oh happy day! I was about ready to give blogger the old heave-ho out of utter frustration but my commenting abilities are BACK. You can thank your lucky stars, just as I am. And speaking of blogging, I wish some of you were doing more of it. I need things to read and miss your jabber. I've got 12 weeks of down time coming up. Entertain me. I plan on going back to the get-go, re-reading and tagging all of my entries. Not sure if I'm ready to rehash the past but I'm going to. Hopefully I'll come out the other side relatively unharmed. Here's hoping.

Not so unharmed is my skull which has been throbbing for days. Woke up from a cat nap yesterday with swollen eyes, a bloody nose, and a pulsating brain I'm pretty sure was trying to escape. It was a horror show, indeed. Also a horror show was later in the evening when Santo despite instruction and multiple warnings, punched me in the stomach. I silently cried for multiple reasons: it hurt, I was worried about Spencer, and I may have finally accepted that we can't have those 2 dogs and an infant in the same house. My guts and my heart hurt.

Believe it or not, I love my dogs. But we've worked with them for 3 years and they're getting more hyper and insane, not less. I'm going to be a first-time mom and that's scary enough without being afraid of your own dogs. If it were up to Todd, they'd be in new homes already. But I can't abandon my dogs. And I can already here some people making comments...bit you're not in my situation. If anything happened to Spencer because I couldn't let two unstable dogs go...well...

Moving on before my nose starts to bleed again.

I have goals for today. I have to clean our room, my bathroom and Spencer's bathroom so all the trash is ready for garbage day or Good Will. Fascinating, I know. Then I want to paint some robots and/or space monsters for the nursery since I didn't get to it yesterday. Then I want to spend the rest of the night on the couch with my husband, abusing Netflix and On Demand. Work hard in the morning to be rewarded at night, kind of thing.I just need to get out of this bed first. Maybe some motivating music with help.

And speaking of motivating music (watch me procrastinated), I hope to make it out to Rock-n-Bowl next Saturday to see some of your adorable faces and rockin' bands. I'm also hoping to hit the Ren Faire, Road Rash Bash, and Granger Danger. Damn, I have cool friends! and if my water breaks at any of these events, so be it! My little monster was destined to be born into a world of rock-n-roll!!

Todd said I was his best friend the other night

: )

I whisper sweet things. You tell all your friends. They'll come running to me.

2011-07-12T07:38:00.000-05:00

James Taylor, you really effed things up when you covered "Handyman". I've recently re-fallen head-over-heels for the original and then my mom pointed out that you covered it (probably in the hit-or-miss 1970s) and it ALL came rushing into my brain at warp speed. Your horrific cover of an awesome jam. I've never liked you, James Taylor, but now I downright despise you and your lack of range. You probably made Jimmy Jones roll over in his grave...if he's dead...not fully informed on that one.

I need to get a turntable into my life. My records are just sitting in the art room feeling forgotten, unloved and under appreciated, much like many annoying American women. I also need a jukebox, and I think I need it more than a Ms. Pac-Man machine but that's still up for debate. I've got a lot of 45s that would make for one HELL of a 50s/60s dance party jukebox. I need to start squirreling away nuts to make this dream come true. I also have to ignore the nagging voice saying "Jukebox or your son's Ivy League college education??"

I bet it's one of those forgotten, unloved and under appreciated American women.

He's a mean motah scootah and a bad go-gettah.

2011-07-10T06:50:00.001-05:00

I have to get out of bed in half and hour to make a bunch of 10 year olds their breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, sausage, and hash browns. After that, parents should start arriving, gift bags should be dispersed, and I can reclaim Sunday as my own! Even if a middle-of-the-night Charlie Horse has destroyed my left leg. Blast.

Overall, I think I threw another successful par-tay. One of the ankle-bites told me Aiden's parties are the best. Aw shucks. We kicked it off with swimming, snacks, and tiki drinks (and only one time-out casualty for name calling). There was grilling, more swimming, a movie and epic sundae bar (while I got in my first Grayskull pool time of the summer), and then night swimming! I've got to say, our yard is made for night hangouts. Even though we spent 2 days prepping for this shin-dig, I felt relaxed chilling on my patio. Being entertained by Tessa and John Jackson didn't hurt either. They're my go-to people for...well, pretty much everything!

We finally closed the pool down around 10:00 and set the little monsters up with popcorn and a movie. How no one's intestines exploded, I'll never be sure. Though there could be nothing but carnage waiting for me when I vacate this bed! There could be a horror show down there. Hopefully they kept it all in for their parents and toilets.

And speaking of carnage, my house no longer falls under that category! It's squeaky clean and after today's patio construction, there will only be the basement project to finish. My stress levels are sinking like the Titanic!! Such a fancy free feeling. Now if only this baby bomb would make his debut so the Castle wouldn't have a chance to get destroyed! But that's wishful thinking. He'll appear when he's ready. And hopefully not while I'm going down my pool slide, as was suggested by my adult party guests.

Maybe post-pancakes, I'll go float around my pool in a tube. Nothing says "90 degree day" like a preggo chick slothing it up in a swimming pool. Now if only I could reclaim control over my left leg. I'll get you yet, Charlie Horse.

I've seen it all. I was here first.

2011-07-06T05:50:00.000-05:00

Throwing up certainly tops my list of things I loathe. I toss my cookies and start to whimper and become very melancholy. When it comes to throwing up (and you'd think I'd be a pro by now...I threw up ten times more when I WASN'T pregnant), I do NOT know how to suck it up, man up, what have you. I'm a puss when my insides end up on the outside.

Did I mention that I'm sick?

I don't think this is any late-in-the-game morning sickness creeping in. I thought I had food poisoning on Thursday night/Friday morning but it wore away, at quesadilla-induced food poisoning tends to do. So I think I just pushed myself too hard this weekend and am paying for it now. The downside to a little too much sun-n-fun, if you will. But luckily, I already had a check-up scheduled for today...it's always good to double check the baby machine. I like to be on top of things. You can make that dirty if you want.

Speaking of sun-n-fun, this weekend really was solid. Thank sweet zombie Jesus for Todd's schedule change. We actually got to spend some time being goofy together, outside of our steak-n-movie date. We went to the zoo one day which was pretty fun, even if we didn't see any wolves, and pool-hopped the next. Good, clean, American holiday fun. Or something like that.

Missed Heavy Rebel for the 3rd year in a row but not many people I knew made the trek. I think the allure is starting to wear off a bit for a lot of people. But man oh man, there's nothing like a Saturday night at Heavy Rebel! I have some phenomenal memories of those Saturday night. Phenomenal and blurred. Anyway, I'm not complaining because I had fun celebrating Independence Day the way we did. Low-key, lotsa fun.

Capgun Cowboys reunion show on Friday. MUST attend. MUST!

And MUST find a way to stop songs from being stuck in my head!

You take me to and lead me through Oblivion.

2011-07-03T07:04:00.000-05:00

I can officially say that we're having a baby next month. I remember on New Year's when Todd declared that we were having a baby this YEAR. Now it's right around the corner! I'm no longer feeling anxious...at least not in a bad, medication-needed kind of way. I'm just eager to hold my little monster. You know, after he's all hosed off and goo-free. We're ready. I mean, you're probably never REALLY ready but we have what we need to at least welcome him into this crazy life we've built. His room, his stuff, potentially rad parents, definitely rad aunts-n-uncles galore, and love. We've got love in surplus. I'd love to tote him around in utero forever because the world can be a rough place...but my ribs can't take the beatings. Soon, little ninja. Soon.

Had an impromptu date last night after the scheduled home renovation project wrapped up early. Hooray! We have baseboards! The formal, no-need-for-it living room and dining room are DONE! We went out to put a hurting on some steaks and then parked it on the couch to watch "Devil", which was neither horrible nor awesome. I predicted the "Devil"'at the beginning. Go me. Anyway, I'm thinking we might get a date night part 2 today since we haven't spent much dough recently. I love having extra time together with Weasel. He's only been back on days for a week and I already feel more relaxed. Everything is settling into place and it feels damn good.

And tomorrow is the 4th of July which means some outdoor chill time, swimming, and hopefully a plethora of things that sparkle or glow!!! I like the 4th. I like painting my fingernails (we'll go with blue this year) and wearing the traditional colors like a proper nerd. As I get older I'm more into holidays and family stuff. It's good all around.

Everything is good all around.

I've been with you such a long time. You're my sunshine.

2011-06-28T06:26:00.002-05:00

A 3-day work week followed by a 3-day work week. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Why did I choose to wear shoes that are furry-lined on the day when it's going to be a gazillion degrees? It's not even 7:00am and my poor dogs are roasting. Do people still refer to their feet as "dogs"? That needs to make a come back.

As I've been blathering about for some time now, Becky came to visit this weekend and magically filled all the empty spots in my soul as only she can do. She looks happier, healthier, and just all-around more Becky-ish than ever. Her positivity rubs off on me and she loves me for my bitter snarkiness. We're definitely an Odd Couple but it works, and has worked for over 10 years now.

She arrived early and we shot the breeze. It happens like this every time we get together. We greet each other and get down to gossip. She wants to know what's going on with everyone...my friends, my family, my fetus. Post-gab session, we went to Chocolate Bar and stuffed ourselves silly. She had a Swedish Fish martini (I urged her to have a cocktail despite it being 11:30am)...I had not one but TWO desserts because there is no better time than now to get piggy. I felt like one of those Ladies Who Lunch, but cooler and in better company.

When Todd came home from work, we took the kids to the Brunswick Home Days which was just as trashy as any other city carnival, but still a good time. I love anything that glows and who doesn't love a carnie?? If only we could've seen Mr. Speed, the KISS cover band. The adults talked while the kids rode rickety rides run by toothless weirdies. No one won any miniature basketballs or saw-dust filled toys, but Todd did enjoy an Elephant Ear or Funnel Cake. Something covered in powered deliciousness.

Post-carnival, we headed to Winking Lizard for some munchies and then back to Castle Grayskull for some chill time...which would've been pool time if Ohio wasn't so bizarre. With water under 50 degrees and a heater on the fritz, we had to stay on dry land. And eventually, this preggo-mama had to put herself to bed in preparation for Spencer's baby shower in the morning. You can read about that awesome event and see some snapshots HERE!!! Or you can just forget about it. Your call.

After the shower, Becky hit the road but luckily, I was too busy, buried in a pile of all things baby, to be too sad right away. But once she texted a safe (and speedy) arrival home, I was missing her. Why can't she live a mile down the road like she used to? Everyone grows up and moves on, I suppose. I probably appreciate her more now that seeing her is a special event. Hopefully I'll see her one more time before I'm officially someones parent...but another visit in 51 days seems unlikely. Le sigh...

So there you have it. The portion of my weekend that WASN'T babyfied.

And you know you have a thousand things in front of you.

2011-06-26T13:43:00.000-05:00

Words can not express how lucky I feel right now to have the people in my life that I do. The women in my family and in my life (hey, they're my family, too) rallied today to throw us, and Spencer, one Hell of a baby shower. It was short and sweet and AMAZING. Eventually, I will get around to blogging all the awesome details, some fantastic pictures, and some individual thanks that needs to be documented on the BABY BLOG, but for now, just now that I am full of appreication and love you all. I am very overwhelmed in the best of ways.

Love,
Lacey, Todd, and Spencer

Either way, it's OK. You wake up with yourself.

2011-06-21T10:42:00.000-05:00

My new work schedule goes into affect today, and by NEW, I mean "until maternity leave". I'd like to say that means I'm going to have more free hours in my day but it actually means I'll be spending more time on the couch or in the bed with Dr. Nightmare. Maybe I'll finally watch Weeds and Mad Men. Anything else you can recommed? Nothing that'll involve too much brain activity.

But back to my schedule (imagine I said that like a Brit). I appreciate my work being so accomodating and understanding. I'm only shortening my schedule by 6 hours a week but I still hate being a nuisance. Unless I'm purposefully being a nuisance. Which happens often.

And now for the best things I've heard so far this week:

"I kept wishing you were there so I could see a pregnant woman knock a lesbian to the ground. That would've been great".

"Deliciousness knows no time frame".

I got to spend some quality time with my Onionhead yesterday which was much needed. I miss my friends and will probably burst into flames when I see them on Sunday. It was good to gab-n-gossip with someone that really knows me. I always LOVE when someone has a juicy story that makes my jaw drop and leaves me in shock. I like to be on the outside of drama looking in!

My nephews don't know what Skor bars are. Poor, neglected, delicious candy.

Becky is coming to visit this weekend for the baby shower and I get an entire Saturday with her! I already feel whole just knowing she's on her way. She told me not to clean and not to fuss over her, that she's perfectly happy with pizza, chick flicks, and some pool time. Some of my happiest days were Sundays in college when we would get Chinese food and watch movies alllllll day. I'm so looking forward to just being around her that I can't even put it into words. So ignore all those words above.

And with that...I bid you a fond farewell on this rainy day.

I was born to love her and I will never be free. She'll always be a part of me.

2011-06-17T11:25:00.000-05:00

First off, let me say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my best friends...probably my BEST friend, actually, on the planet, TESSA! Happy 32nd Birthday, love of my life. I hope that this next year finds you happier, healthier, and just showered in oodles of awesomeness. While I don't think I can make it to your shin-dig due to yesterday's hospital events, I will be there in spirit listening to you sing 99 Red Balloons...I ONLY like it when you sing it. Happy Birthday, Onionhead!

Still not happy with the layout. Irked more and more every day.

All my temporary posts have been removed as I believe my message has been received. What I hate about social networking and technology (I'll be honest, there isn't a lot) is that perception of tone and miscommunication are so easy. It was suggested that I do something via interwebs, I encouraged someone to get involved in the situation via text, and the next thing you know, everything is all effed up and lost in translation. How the Hell did you get THAT out of what I said?? I never said anything LIKE that! It ends up being a circus and I have enough clowns in my life.

And drama! Including me and my spawn which you can read about HERE!!

And if you don't feel like reading about my Emergency Room fiasco, just know that both Spencer and I are aces but we'll know even more about a doctor's appointment on Monday. I want to thank all my pals out there for their well-wishes and concerns. You're all cool in my book. And my book is illustrated for those of you who get bored easily.

New carpet came today bringing our formal living room/dining room remodeling project closer to completion. In fact, the room should be done by Sunday! Hooray! Having all these partially finished home projects is weighing heavily on my brain...especially now that my activity has been restricted a little bit more. It will be nice to walk in the door and not see pure havoc. And even though it's the room we use the LEAST in the house, it's probably the room that has the most of our quirky personalities in it. Beats the pants of the beige boredom it used to be. One thing we are not...is beige.

When THEY still lived here. Woof.

Before the destruction began.

During the destruction.

Yep, that's black-n-gray checkered carpet right there!

Formal living room...the first room you see as you enter Castle Grayskull.

Dining room that maybe we'll actually use now!

Next on the never-ending agenda or making a house a home? Finishing our patio/pool projects, putting the basement/man cave back together after the great flooding (thank you again, home owners insurance), putting finishing touches on the Spencer Dome...and whenever there's time (the other projects are priorities), painting the living room and re-doing our downstairs bathroom TIKI STYLE! Somewhere in that list I'd like to fit in some swimming and, oh yeah, giving birth.

That would be SWELL!

I won't cry for you. I won't crucify the things you do.

2011-06-14T05:40:00.002-05:00

I am one irritable little zombie this morning. I'm mere milliseconds away from hunting down some sort of tool and removing my spine and all the muscles of my back, leaving me a puddle of muck on the floor. Attractive, no. Necessary, totally.

I know the back pain and tailbone pressure all goes around with hauling precious cargo. But exhaustion can make the simplest things seem a gazillion times more horrific. So that's where I am right now. Beat, uncomfortable and taking it out on the world. If you have to physically interact with me today, I would maintain distance. After all, I've read "Real Ultimate Power".

On the plus side, and this IS a plus as far as I'm concerned, Lady Gaga's new album has grown on me like a delicious and nutritious algae. My initial distaste for it was cause for concern but now I can't stop jamming it. Whew. What a load off my mind. Sure, there may be too many song centered around religious themes for my taste, but what's good is REALLY good. "Bloody Mary" may be stuck in my head all day and I'm pretty OK with that. Way to go, Gaga.

Way to go.

COUNTDOWNS:
12 days until the baby shower.
16 days until my next doctor's appointment.
65 days until Spencer's due date.

We'll kill the fatted calf tonight so stick around.

2011-06-12T19:22:00.002-05:00

Marcus Samuelson sort of freaks me out. Sorry Ethiopia.

Also, I don't care what you do to goat. I'm not eating it.

A full weekend is coming to a close and I'm blogging from bed because this body needs a rest. The fan is going, my legs are propped on a pillow, and Top Chef is on. Simple. Perfection. And the weekend was the same, despite some unexplained anxiety here and there. It's probably not "unexplained", what with all these home renovation projects going on at once and an active boy growing in my guts. I don't want to bring a baby into chaos. I, myself, don't want to be surrounded by chaos. But that's not really the point since the quick sinking feelings in no way outweighed the good times that were had.

I've said before, and with great enthusiasm, that I'm pretty good when it comes to birthdays and my stepson is turning 10 this week. There's a pretty mind-blowingly cool pool party and sleepover planned for next month (June is jam packed and July will give us a toasty, swimming-worthy day) but we still needed a mini-celebration. I think I did a damn fine job right down to the wrapping paper. It takes weeks to plan, an eternity to wrap, and mere seconds for the paper to fly and it all to be over. But it was well worth it. He was one happy (almost) 10 year old. And the fun just continued as we rocked the chopsticks and he was treated like a king. I think his Magic 8-Ball was right when he asked it if today would be a rad birthday...just wait for your party, kid!!! I may not do everything right, but I know how to throw a party!

We had another celebration this weekend as we hit our 2nd wedding of the season. We got snazzed up and hit both the ceremony and reception...which was in question since my back and tailbone write my agendas these days. Weddings always make you think about your marriage. We know each other better than anyone else can, even when we watch to karate chop each others heads in half. It's cool to have that. It's cool to have some one make sure you have something to drink and are comfortable. It's cool to have someone to ask you to dance. And it's super cool to have someone laugh and tell you they love you because you say you have to poop. Weddings can be good reminders of the good thing you got if you're lucky enough to have it. Maybe I'll karate chop my husband just a little less this week...and I'll be sure to put the same effort into Father's Day as I do to birthdays.

So another work week begins in the morning, leading up to probably one of the busiest weekends of the summer...oh sweet anxiety! There's a studio opening and a karaoke bash (don't expect to hear me singing without liquid courage), more home improvements packed into a short spam of time and another awesome birthday celebration, and then Father's Day. Besides honoring the father of my monster, I've got to do right by my own pops. He's done far too much for us this year, even with a wrecked paw and a full plate. Looking at my dance card, I wonder if I'll be able to find time to sleep and breathe!!!

I guess it's better than being bored.

Am I right???

A meditation engine runs on gasoline, caffeine, and time.

2011-06-09T05:37:00.005-05:00

2 more followers gets me that much closer to my goal of building a robot!

And sometimes I wish I drank coffee. But not enough to do anything about it.

You know what feels incredibly awesome and empowering? Saying what you want to say without thinking or pausing or censoring yourself. Just vomiting your mind, as my girl Gaga would say, all over people at the exact moment the thoughts pop into your head. ZING! You may think this is a bad idea and maybe it is. But lots of bad ideas probably feel incredible. Anyway, I think I've pussyfooted around saying what I want to say for far too long and that's not my style. I'd rather deal with the fallout than the stress of keeping it all bottled up.

And before you try to start blaming my brashness on hormones, let me stop you in your tracks. During my entire preggoness (30 weeks today and you can read about that later here), my emotions have been in check. Except during one beer commercial where a soldier was returning home to a big party in a barn. That made my eyes leaky. Anyway, I've just been thinking a lot which lead me to realize that I sure have buttoned my lip over the last few years and that's not my style. I'm not one to get walked on, never have been.

But enough of that brand of blather!

Ready for a polar opposite?? I am DETERMINED to go to a Renaissance fair this year. In fact, the Ohio Renaissance Festival kicks off a month after Spencer is scheduled to vacate my uterus. Is it bad form to take an infant to a Renaissance fest? Don't babies like turkey legs, jousting, and big steins full of mead or ale? Every year I mean to go and I miss out. Enough of this putting things off! That's how things DON'T get done and I don't want to be on my deathbed whining about how I didn't go to a Renaissance fair. Does that sound trivial? Shut up. You can come, too.

I need some pool time.

And I am STILL not satisfied with this flipping layout! GRRRR!

Sometimes I told the truth and sometimes I lied.

2011-06-07T05:42:00.002-05:00

Two, count 'em, TWO posts I wrote yesterday just disappeared into thin air! This has never happened before and I have no explanation as to why but it has me all kinds of miffed. Yeah, you heard me...MIFFED! But it's not like they were about anything all that fascinating. Just the usual meaningless and mindless blather. Still, I tool the time to type them. And to spell-check them. And to laugh at them. I've wasted my own laughs! Grrrr.

And now here's something we hope you'll REALLY like!

So, I might be having those Braxton-Hicks faux contraction thing-a-ma-jigs (for the record, the Fish-a-ma-jig from Friendly's is still the most hilarious thing I've ever seen on a menu). Either that or for brief seconds at a time, there is a war being waged in my uterus. Maybe with a mini-Alien vs. mini-Predator.

...

I kind of grossed myself out with that one and feel pretty squirmy.

WTF BLOGGER!?!?! I just blathered a bunch of mind-blowingly interested shtuff and it's gone! GONE the way of the unicorn and the dinosaur and the dinosaur unicorn. I'm giving up for today. My wit is spontaneous. I can't recreate that kind of magic on the spot and certainly not when I feel like doing a round-house kick to my monitor, sending zombie rubber ducks flying to their death (a.k.a. the floor). This is not paving the way for a day full of awesomeness, I'll tell you what!

Like a road, you're somewhere to go.

2011-06-04T07:44:00.002-05:00

There is a piece of chocolate coconut cream cheesecake waiting for me in the fridge. But do I really want to start my day with another sugar high? In approximately 75, I'm going to give birth to a tornado. Or a marshmallow.

Yesterday was unexpectedly full and gave me a little bit of a jump start. Recently, I've been feeling a little...well, a little everything, emotionally and physically. Lost, bored, overwhelmed, uncomfortable. But yesterday sort of worked out the kinks a bit.

After my hubby hooked me up with an Iphone (reason #254 that he's pretty cool - he accepts my technology obsessions), I had a 1 hour glucose test at the hospital which was fascinating (but more about that at the baby blog). Once I shook the sugar, I spent the cheddar...had to score a more comfy bikini so I can take advantage of having a pool, bump and all.

John Jackson and I had a late lunch/early dinner/shit talking session and then I unexpectedly ending up at my niece's baseball game...and left there with a breast pump (say WHAAAT?). I'm not trying to give you the play by play of the day, honestly, but it was the baby, friends, family, weather, accomplishment of tasks, etc. that leveled me out.

Don't get me wrong, I like a lazy day more that most people. But the further along in my preggoness I get, the more useless I feel I'll become. I need to fill my days with productive hours while I can. Then when I can't, you'll find me floating the pool.

Life es bueno!

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So hot! Love I couldn't quite resist.

2011-05-30T17:58:00.002-05:00

Did we skip over Spring? Hot dog!

Today has been one of those days-off that I love. Soul satisfying, or somthing crunchy like that. It wasn't jam-packed with wasted hours. It was a full day that included buying a rad patio set, opening our swimming pool, prepping our outdoor space for summer fun, grilling an amazing feast (I finally successfully tackled ribs!!!), and warpping it all up with ice-cream sundaes!

Does it sound lame? Get off your high horse because it was fantastic. We made good use of every hour of this Memorial Day, even if I had to take frequent breaks and put an ice pack on my forehead for awhile. The whole weekend recharged my batteries in fact, even if we were running-on-go from Saturday on. I feel accomplished and far less worried that our Castle Grayskull projects won't be finished by the time Spencer makes his debut. I feel good.

But I also feel horrifically guilty, which may seem like a contrasting emotion. My dad had an accident while selflessly helping make improvements on the Ol' Kentucky Corral to help it sell. 24 stitches, tendon surgery, and a sad daughter later, all I can think is that if we had been doing the chore (I'll be 7 months preggo on Thursday and Todd was at work), this never would've happened. It hurts my heart-n-brain. Hopefully he'll repair quickly and hopefully he knows how much we appreciate all his help and sacrifice. Still, I feel sick when I think about it *frown*

But overall, everything is gravy. Delicious gravy.

Happy Memorial Day!

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Hear my voice in your head and think of me kindly.

2011-05-28T05:31:00.002-05:00

Good morning...temporarily...from the bed!

This little blog just got its 30th official follower. As soon as I her 50 followers, I'm going to do something dramatic to celebrate. Like build a rocket to the moon or a loyal robot companion. Both seem a little technical with high levels of difficulty, but it is good to have goals. Welcome 30th follower.

I think I'm going to stop using contractions like Peggy Hill.

I haven't dedicated enough time to it to know for sure, but I'm worried about Lady Gaga's new album. I've been told it'll grow on me and I hope it's true. Something about it is so 80s/90s dance and not nearly as powerful as The Fame (Monster)...besides "Judas". Oh, and it's time to drop the religious themes. But I'm not giving up hope yet. Especially after she won back top spot in my heart doing the Liquorville sketch on SNL. A-MAZ-ING.

I already forgot about the contractions. Fail.

I really want to hear the Crass version of "Do They Owe Us a Living?" right now. Haven't thought about that song in years. Probably won't do anything about it.

Why was clapping erasers in grade school so coveted?

Why did Progresso change their Minnestrone soup receipe like 15 years ago, knocking my world out of balance?

Why am I awake this early on a Saturday?

Good night, jerkfaces. xoxoxo

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Don't show up so on time. And don't act like you're so kind.

2011-05-26T05:47:00.001-05:00

Greg Oblivian wears Cosby sweaters. Take note.

If you need some jams to get your morning jump-started, might I recommend "Don't Ask Me" and "So Damn Hot", both by OKGO? I'm already partially revved because my 4-day weekend starts at 3:15p today but those songs slapped a smile on my mug.

Actually, a lot of songs made me smile in a nostalgic way during my morning commute. I've been doing that 30 Day Song Challenge on Facebook (ah, social networking, how I love thee) and it's made me evaluate every jam on my Ipod more critically. Today, day 7, had me picking a song that reminds me of a certain event. A majority of the tunes I lurve have some story associated with them!

"Shoehorn With Teeth" reminds me of seeing TMBG in Columbus and one lucky crowd member...an adorably jazzed 13 year old boy...getting to play the glockenspiel and then KEEP the autographed glockenspiel. "Natural One" reminds me of driving around in my high school bestie's car (R.I.P. Rusty) listening to the KIDS soundtrack during the summer. "Hightime" reminds me of being dressed like a dead skunk on the best Halloween I've ever had. "Ballroom Blitz" reminds me of singing karaoke at a dive bar on my nephew's 21st birthday. "Bacon Grease" STILL makes me ponder EVERY TIME I hear it if it's a good or bad thing that he wants to "cook that woman up in bacon grease". The stories never end.

Anyway, that's been my morning. Memories and music. It's kicking off what will no doubt be a longer than average (despite it's 24 hour length) day since I'll be counting down to Spencer's 28 week doctor's appointment and the start of my weekend. My back hurts, I didn't sleep well, and my radar is up that something fishy is going on...which makes me think of "(I Know) There's Something Going On" by Frieda (former member of ABBA), the first song I heard this morning.

Why do Australians love ABBA? What is the connection there?

Teenage love song, ain't such a thing.

2011-05-23T05:35:00.000-05:00

At this time in 2005, I abandoned my blog at pitas.com (still hilarious and available for posterity's sake) and made my home here at The Cleveland "A". 6 long and jam-packed years I've been blathering and droning on and on about whoever and whatever I want...though I was a little more verbal and nasty back in the day. A lot has chanced in what is really such a short amount of time (unless, as I've said, you were in jail...6 years in jail would be a long time).

This time in 2005 also saw the birth of Mamacita's brain child, The Pussyfoot Girls, another main staple in the diet of my life. I miss knowing that every week, I'd see my favorite gals walking through the doors of the Ol' Kentucky Corral (might as well mark 2005 down as when I bought that joint, though it was summer when I moved in). I miss listening to music and being ridiculous. It's not even the shows that I miss...it's the practices. Some of the best and most absurd times of my entire life.

And wow, Spring 2005 saw a lot of action in my little life because it's ALSO when my divorce was all said-n-done. It doesn't even really seem like that marriage actually happened. Eh, it was really just "playing house" when it comes down to it. Is it weird that I can barely remember what something should be significant was actually like? Eh, it is what it is.

But enough about my blog's 6th birthday...

I'm starting my week off with a cupcake. I predict good things.

I want to make up for lost time tonight and I just can't wait.

2011-05-21T08:08:00.000-05:00

Man, have I been a bad blogger. But maybe you should thank me for not boring you to tears and/or death since my week has basically consisted of sleeping (poorly, might I add) my life away with a super sore back. Yesterday I forced myself to build the changing table, clean the kitchen and do some laundry. My back and I sure are paying for it this morning. But that's life. Or the life of a 6 1/2 month pregnancy person, I suppose.

It's going to be 75 and partly cloudy which is as close to Heaven as I'm going to get to today. Doesn't seem like the Rapture happened, as predicted by nutbags. I love that Castle Grayskull is filled with widows and sliding doors because I'll need some sunshine and fresh air (let's throw some bad TV in there, too) while I keep trucking on with my nesting. What room of my house will be destroyed and repaired today?

Speaking of home destruction, let me just say HOORAY FOR INSURANCE! Our home owners insurance company (how adult does that sounds?) actually sent an adjuster out and we were cut a check on the spot for all the basement-flooding nonsense. I wasn't expecting any money so I'm more than happy with what we got. There will be some new drywall and paint, a new bathroom floor, new doors if we so choose, and a plumber to check out some shtuff. It's going to be some work, I've been told, but hopefully it's done before Spencer shows up. I can't happily enjoy my son living in a shit shack.

Sorry I couldn't dazzle you with more wit. I want to enjoy the early-morning weather.

Hardly recognize simple things anymore.

2011-05-16T05:48:00.002-05:00

I am not going to be satisfied or feel accomplished this morning until every shred of this horrific, chipped, cheap-ass, fuscia nail polish has been scratched off. I'm working with much fervor and determination. The same amount of determination that will go into the letter I'm writing the cosmetic company that manufactures said nail polish to tell them their product is rank and I want cash back in my pocko!

I may have gotten up on the wrong side of my coffin this morning.

I'm going to mark the weekend a success. Consider it marked. I don't really need to give you the play by play. Just know that everything I said I was going to do (show my face at Peabody's which was F-U-N and the fetus' first Fetus show, hit a wedding with Todd which made me feel very close to him...he was an attentive husband), I did and I did with as much gusto as I could muster. For the record, I don't particularly like the word "gusto" or "muster". In addition to planned plans, I had lunch with John Jackson yesterday which involved lots of face-stuffing (by me) and chattering.

One thing we chattered about was having a dream (not MLK style). Like knowing EXACTLY what you want to do...particularly career-wise...and doing it. Neither of us really feel like we have a career, so to speak. And there was never really a time in my life where I was like, "THIS is what I want to do when I grow up" or "THIS is what I'm going to go to college for" or "THIS is what I'm passionate about". The only thing that came close was that in my very young youth, I wanted to be a teacher. I spent many, many, many years of my childhood playing school. I would've been a good teacher. Ask any one of my stuffed animals.

I blame you, Project Runway. This self-analysis is YOUR fault.

I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I'm pretty sure there will never be that thing that clocks me in the head like a brick. But I do know this...my job affords me my lifestyle. Not that it's anything flashy. I just mean that I'm not living dollar to dollar. I can take my family on vacation, I can go out to dinner, I can buy new clothes, I can make sure the cupboards are stocked, I can throw my step-son a birthday blow out. And I can do all theses things thanks to my j-o-b.

When it comes right down to it, it's like, "Do I want to have my dream JOB that I love going to every day and makes me outrageously happy and fulfilled?" or "Do I want to have an extremely awesome and adventurous life with my family that makes me outrageously happy and fulfilled?". It would be nice to have both but it doesn't happy for many people, does it? So I'll take the second. I'd rather have the life I've dreamed of that the job I've dreamed of...because I've never had a dream job so I'm not really missing out. And I LIKE my job. So I've got it pretty good.

Not saying if I could be a circus performer I wouldn't ditch it all in a second!!!

So there's a hearty dose of introspection to start your week off right. Muah!

I've learned love is like a brick...you can build a house or sink a dead body.

2011-05-13T15:40:00.003-05:00

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13th!! Why has today been awesome??

-I woke up early even though I slept like junk...after our basement flooded from what my parents say was the worst rain they've ever seen in Brunswick.There wasn't much I could do since I can't lift or bend but the dudes handled it (APPRECIATED). And I still woke up sun-shiny early to get my day on.

-For the first time in my life, EVERY dress I tried on for the wedding tomorrow not only FIT but looked GREAT. I walked out with 4 non-maternity dresses, that can be worn post-Spencer! And walking out of the dress department, there they were! The perfect shoes...and they match all 4 dresses! Need more icing on the cake? I found great jewelry, too. This NEVER happens to me. Shopping usually makes me cry. Being pregnant has made me totally lurve my body right now, I guess. My mom said Spencer is good luck. HELL YEAH! But I had a front runner right off the bat.

-Spent some time at PJ's Day Spay getting my hair done did! Yep, you read that right. I actually got more than one haircut in a year. It's fresh and clean, the color is touched-up, brighter-n-fresher, and it's one more thing to help me feel wedding-ready! Ignore the fact that I'm sans make-up. It was early.

-I got home and did a little text fashion show for my manimal once I narrowed it down to 2 dresses: the black, strapless, Hawaiian and the blue, spaghetti strapped, garden party. STILL pumped with my purchases! Whichever one I don't wear tomorrow, I'll wear to the wedding we have next month. Lurve is the air. And Todd loved me in the dresses, saying something like "YUM!". Boy sure does love a summer dress and thought it would be cute if I showcases the bump a bit. Just call me pregnant in heels...or wedges. I don't want to be like "I look HAWT" but it's nice to feel good about your appearance when you're growing a monster inside of you!

Black Hawaiian

Blue Garden Party

-I made some delicious pasta for lunch with the windows wide open, enjoying the bad-ass weather. Red pepper flakes, garlic, broccoli, peas, tomatoes, and Bocconcini. It was yum, yum, yum. A good lunch and some bad TV, followed by painting my fingernails and toes (by the way, that's no longer an option...it's Todd's job now) just kept me on that good mood wave. It's the little things that matter.

-Horror of 59 is playing a free show with Cult of the Psychic Fetus tonight! I'm going to get to spend some time with my awesome pals, and my twin, COTPF's own Alex Murder! Pre-show, John Jackson (yeah, he's totally my partner-in-crime now) are going to stuff out faces solid with some Italian goodness. And as an awesome treat, my husband will be meeting us at the show, a pleasant surprise. I think the good day will end with a good night.

So yeah...VIVA FRIDAY THE 13th!! Hope it's as good for you!

Go up in the air, come down in slow motion.

2011-05-09T06:08:00.002-05:00

I had a dream last night that Todd and I took Spencer (in actual " freshly outside of the womb" form) to a Lady Gaga concert. I was trying to find a bathroom before the show and I saw a mob following Gaga herself. I "OWWWWW"-ed as I've been known to do at shows in the past and all grew quiet as Gaga approached me. It must've been her mating call. She kissed me on lips, not sexy-like or anything, but she was definitely sending me odd vibes, and I tried to take a self-picture. When I got back to where Todd, Spencer, and his god-mother were, the picture had some how erased. I was livid and I woke up confused.

Maybe I need to dial back the amount of Gaga in my life. Worth pondering.

News flash: my back is sore, I'm beat-n-fidgety, and I anticipate a long day ahead.

Second news flash: we had a night on the town this weekend with friends we haven't seen in awhile. It involved a cheese plate, so you know it was both posh and a smashing success. I lurve my friends and I forget exactly how MUCH I lurve them until I see them after time has passed. I felt exactly the same about Phoebe when she and I saw Gaga recently (there she is again, invading my life and thoughts).

I'm hoping to see lots of pals at the Horror of 59/Cult of the Psychic Fetus show on Friday, keep the good feelings going, you know? When the PFG was still struttin', I knew I was going to see my girls once a week and the usual suspects at LEAST once a month if not more. Now everyone is getting engaged, getting hitched, getting knocked up, co-habitating, moving, working on new projects...and such is life. And I know I'm plenty to blame as I've been M.I.A. Doesn't make me miss my dudes any less. Miss ya, dudes.

I have the Letter People theme song in my head out of nowhere. Odd.

We're going to a wedding in Nowheresville this weekend and I'm actually looking forward to it. Sure, I won't know many people there and can't relax with a cocktail, but it's a reason to buy a new outfit and shoes and spend some time all dolled up with my fella. We're going to 3 weddings this year and already have one lined up for next year. Love is in the air. It's the fever, people.

"Pants On Fire" was my derby pic. SUCKO. It's GLUE for YOU, pony!

Cuanta le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta, le gusta!

2011-05-05T06:41:00.001-05:00

Feliz Cinco de Mayo, todo el mundo! El año pasado, fui a la PJ McIntyre con Todd y disfrutó de margaritas, Dos Equis, y el tiro de tequila. Este año? Probablemente va a ser muy diferente, ya que no puedo tener una bebida alcohólica para otros 105 días. De todos modos, siempre me ha gustado el Cinco de Mayo y no estoy seguro de por qué ya que soy la más blanca niña blanca en la cara del planeta.

No necesito un cóctel de México para disfrutar de esta fiesta que me ha gustado tanto a lo largo de los años. Tal vez una canción, un Sance poco, un poco de salsa los pantalones! De cualquier forma, necesito algo para volver a organizar mi actitud que ha sido una especie de roca de esta semana debido a la estupidez que viene a mí desde todas las direcciones

Mi pasatiempo favorito en el mundo ahora es sólo sentimiento Spencer hacer lo que está haciendo en mi útero. Así mayeb voy a pasar mi Cinco de Mayo jugando él, para los atascos de festivos o películas de Carmen Miranda. O tal vez sólo tendremos que ver "Machete " y lo llaman de una noche sobre unos tacos. Las oportunidades son interminables y el mundo es mi ostra! ¿Comen ostras en México?

Me pregunto cómo extraño esto todos los sonidos cuando alguien trata de traducir del Español al Inglés! JA! Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

I hear you say the truth must take a beating.

2011-05-02T09:56:00.001-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, let's get our rant on, shall we?

1. I am too old for public drunks. Don't get me wrong, I like partaking in shenanigans from time to time, but I'm over being a drunken disaster. At this point in my life, if I was the woman a few rows in front of us at Lady Gaga who was passed out in her $88 seat BEFORE Gaga even went on, I wouldn't consider it my greatest achievement. Apply that to the woman next to us who smelled like last night's party, and the 4 sorority girls behind us who spilled wine on the poor gay next to me, lost a cell phone, clocked me in my melon, and spoke at volumes that rival me when I'm on my celly. Get a grip, people. There has to be more substance to you than the size of your throbbing liver, though I doubt it.

2. And speaking of Gaga, who I love and adore...there is no excuse for going on stage 90 minutes late when it's a week night, I don't care who you are or where you're from. And if you go on 90 minutes late, at least acknowledge it. Take responsibility for your actions. And wipe that sourpuss off your face. You deserved the boos you got.

3. When is Mariah Carey going to announce the names of her twins?? I am obsessed with names, especially with middles names, and I neeeeed to know! What's the point on holding out? SPILL IT, CAREY!

4. I watched the royal wedding and while Morrissey may have had a problem with it, I enjoyed it. It was like watching Cinderella or something. Almost doesn't seem like real life. Not quite sure why so many people had to bash it. Jealousy? Boredom? I don't know. I don't care. I enjoyed the flash and glitter.

5. I despise the animation in Adult Swim's new cartoon, Super Jail. I will not be watching it, no matter how hilarious it might be.

6. I painted Spencer's nursery yesterday while listening to AFI. I even edged, which I never do. When it was finished, I felt very accomplished. I'm so glad that I'm in a position right now to give him such a rad room (and his OWN room at that). Todd is paying for the crib tonight and then we're on the hunt for vintage Sci-Fi posters and toy robots!

7. OK, so Osama Bin-Laden is dead. How long will militants vs. pacifists be spewing over the subject on Facebook? I want both sides to stop shoving stuff in my eyeballs. Can't we get back to what's REALLY important in this country?? Will Ferrell might shave off Conan O'Brien's BEARD tonight! Now that's what matters to me!

8. Male exotic dancers are creepy.

9. Lots of good shows are coming up (Big Sandy, Reverend Horton Heat, S.C.O.T.S.). I can guarantee that you'll find me at the Horror of 59/Cult of the Psychic Fetus show next Friday and the New Bomb Turks show in June. Oddly enough, both shows coinside with wedding weekends. This means boatloads of fun and new shoes for mama! Pregnant in heels, baby! Or maybe wedges would be safer since clumsiness is my calling card. Regardless, I'm looking forward to getting dolled up and hitting the town.

10. Help me, Obi-Wan. You're my only hope.

I roam from town to town. I go through life without a care.

2011-04-27T13:15:00.002-05:00

Our New York adventure was beyond what I could have possibly imagined. I have been there before but never did the touristy thing, never saw the sights. And I was never with this awesome a group of people: John Jackson, Sharon D., and my hubby. I now officially <3 NY. I want to die in Central Park...but not Law and Order: SVU style.

We left at 2:00am with yours truly behind the wheel. Time seemed to fly by (with the help of 250 jams of the 80s) and before you knew it, it was morning in the financial district of NYC and we were dropping our bags at the Downtown Marriott.

FRIDAY

We walked to Battery Park and had an NY hot dog while checking out the Statue of Liberty. The weather was a little chilly but nice for a day of hardcore walking around. We checked out Wall St. and the cemetery at Trinity Church. That church blew my mind and for a good portion of the trip was my favorite thing. Utterly beautiful. Stopped at the seaport and had lunch at the NY Merchant Cafe and then went to our room for a cat nap in the most comfy beds on the planet. But on the way back to our hotel, we stopped at Ground Zero which was around the corner. It was really incredible...heartbreaking and mind blowing.

Post-nap we went to Times Square. The plan was to go to MoMA but the line was around the corner (damn art lovers) so we changed gears and wandered through Rockefeller Center then went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. The Lady Gaga statue was my favorite, of course, but I wish it would've been a little less crowded. We hit the subway (I was a pro by the time we left) and grabbed a slice on the chilly patio at some pizza joint on Bleeker St. in the Village. Does that need to be capitalized? Make a note next time you're in NYC...that particular pizza place serves Presidente.

A lot was crammed into the first day. I was proud of myself AND Spencer for doing as much as we did.

SATURDAY
First thing on this verrrrry rainy day, we headed back to Times Square where I had left my heart the previous evening and grabbed some coffee (peppermint hot chocolate for me and the monster) to warm up. There's a booth in the square that sells same-day discount tickets for Broadway shows. Lo and behold, they had tickets for the matinee showing of the Addams Family musical for 50% off! That had Todd and me written all over it, and it was Sharon's first musical.

To kill time, we walked to Central Park and stopped in at the Jekyll and Hyde Club for a drink ($3.25 for a soda...I'm still on fire about it). That was one of the major places on my list that I wanted to see and it was a BUST. The more I think about that mess, the happier I am that we didn't eat dinner there as planned. Moving on, we waltzed with our umbrellas around the horse and carriages at Central Park where we saw obvious SVU "raping spots" and I educated Sharon on roofies. Then we headed back to the Lunt-Fontaine theater (and passed Le Bernardain on the way!!!) to dry off and wait for the show.

The theater was beautiful (I'm glad I wore a hat, it made me feel more New York) and somehow we ended up with amazing 11th row seats! It felt very romantic somehow. And the show was very charming, though I would've paid to punch the lisping kid that played Pugsley. PUNCH! When we exited the theater, the rain had stopped and we headed back to the Village for lunch at Jack's French Bistro and a walk through Washington Square Park. Lots of cute pups and adventurous squirrels. A drink at the Slaughtered Lamb Pub and Jekyll and Hyde's Bar and Grill (FAR superior to the club, though they sure do push the shots) and then we were back at the hotel, resting our tired bones. Another A+ day.

EASTER SUNDAY
We woke up to a BEAUTIFUL day, warm and sunny - heavenly, and had breakfast (banana split pancakes) at a local deli. Sharon parted ways with us to spend time with her step-sister who lives in NYC. It was just me and my dudes, left to our own devices, under the beautiful NYC sun. It always stuns me how a lovely day can make you feel.

First, we saw where John Lennon was shot (OK, not so lovely) and walked through Central Park where I fell in love twice, with the park and with my husband (again). He made sure that I saw (almost) everything I wanted to and that the monster and I got the attention we needed.Yeah, I LOVED the park, can't stress it enough. If I lived in NY, I would spend as much time as possible there, but maybe all non-New Yorkers think that way. If only I had a sketchbook. We walked to the MET and then back to the American History Museum. We could have spent DAYS in that museum but our feet, backs, legs would NOT allow it. We restaurant hopped until we settled on Lansky's Jewish Deli for our Easter feast. I loved Sunday. I felt like a new person...a new and VERY pregnant person! A happy person.

We went back to the hotel because 3 days of serious touring had wrecked us, physically and, for me, mentally. Sharon met up with us and after I rallied, we ended up in the hotel restaurant which was a fun time. It was a laid back and fun way to wrap up a trip that was go, go, go. I can't tell you how many times we were on the Subway but by the end of our trip, I felt like a pro. Lots of laughs that evening.

MONDAY

Monday morning we had our last NYC meal in the financial district, stopped in the Village one more time (picked up a 6-pack of Presidente, my favorite, to celebrate Spencer's birth when the time comes), and then checked out. Homeward bound. It was one of the first times post-trip that I wasn't dying to go home but wasn't dying to stay. Every minute of the trip was filled with something awesome and fun, and I'm sure that I have forgotten plenty of adventures we had. And I know there are plenty more adventures to be had since we didn't get to go to MoMA and missed out on Coney Island. I guess I'll just HAVE to go back in June for the Mermaid Parade!

New York was a dream. Everything I hoped for but nothing I expected. I needed to de-stress and I did. I spent time with good friends and a great husband in a city I thought I hated. And when I came home, my house was still standing and my dogs were still alive! It was the perfect long weekend and I wouldn't have done anything different. Except maybe brought a 2nd memory card. 400 pix just weren't enough!!!

But at least I have my favorite pic...father-n-son, loves of my life, in NYC.

Spend the lasto...in your pocko.

2011-04-21T05:20:00.002-05:00

Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!

Leaving for NYC toniiiiiiight and I couldn't be slap-happier because for the last handful of days, I've been mere millimeters away from going Honey Badger on someones unsuspecting ass. And not one ass in particular. It could have been ANY ass or plural asses in a 500 foot radius. Feel lucky that you weren't near me or were spared the scrappiness of my wrath.

There's no explanation for my bad attitude but a road trip is the cure. This much I know. It's been awhile since I just jumped in the car and had an adventure. I should probably bring my Adventure Time hat for maximum adventuring. Regardless, I used to load up the car at the drop of the hat at cruuuuuuise here, there, anywhere. All you needed was a destination, car snacks, and tunes, and even the snacks were optional. The last really flat out awesome "hit all the right spots" road trip I had was to Heavy Rebel in...2007??? Hot damn.

Just thinking about Heavy Rebel 2007 improved my mood 10%.

And off topic, my head is bleeding. I should probably be more concerned.

See you when I get back to Ohio. Please try not to destroy it while I'm gone. I love it like it was my own child. I love it like I love ginormous jugs and really good cupcakes. To be safe, I'll give you the same rules I gave the person house sitting Castle Grayskull:

1. Don't kill my dogs.
2. Don't burn my house down.
3. No cops.

Have a great Easter, y'all. Hope the bunny is good to you!

I'm just a holy fool. Baby, he's so cruel.

2011-04-18T05:31:00.005-05:00

New York City, we're coming for you, baby.

I bought some new duds, packed, got a new windshield and rear tires, new glasses (thicker, blacker, nerdier...Todd is swooning), and even splurged for some prescription sunglasses that are very Gaga-esque! I've got a play list of hundreds of jams from the 80s and a lust in my blood for a little road tripping adventure. This is going to be epic...a word I truly loathe..., I can feel it in the core of my black heart and rotten bones!

And speaking of my girlfriend, Gaga...

1. I scored tickets for Bizzle and myself and I must say, they are far better than the spendy seats I had last year. I look forward to taking in the spectacle that is Gaga again. It was worth every penny and implying suspension of disbelief. I can only hope Phoebe enjoys the insanity and nonsense as much as I do. Or I might have to find a new wife.

2. She'll be playing in the New York City area (I believe in Jersey, blech) 2 of the nights we'll be invading. There will be pain in my chest not seeing her so close to her home turf because I bet that would blow minds and splatter brains. But I can handle it. There's plenty of fun to be had without seeing perform to a sea of the GTL crowd.

3. Her new single, "Judas", is A-MAZ-ING. I was a little worried about the direction she was heading after "Born This Way" was released (don't ask me to say 'dropped', as I never will). I'll be honest, yeah, it's an anthem...put your damn hands up...but I'm not a fan. Now "Judas"? My girl is BACK! So far it hasn't shown it's face on any current set lists but a girl can hope-n-pray-n-make deals with the Devil, am I right?

And speaking of the Devil...

Dear Jehovah's Witnesses and religious fruitcakes,

Don't come to our door. Don't leave your little pamphlets. You're only asking to get a ear full, rather than give one. So just take your little, suited selves and walk right past the big gray house with the lava rocks. There's nothing for you in there, I guarantee. And you have nothing we want. We square?

Love,
Us

Judas. Juda-a-a.
Judas. Juda-a-a.
Judas. Juda-a-a.
Judas. GAGA.

Thinking the point was keep what's mine for me.

2011-04-13T05:52:00.003-05:00

Note THIS and note it NOW:

1. When we go to NYC, Coney Island will be open for the season! I've wanted to go to Coney Island my entire life. Sure, I may not be able to ride their rickety, creeptastic carnival-style rides in my preggo state-of-being, but there's NOTHING that says I can't run away with the world-famous Side Show! Take any freak show talent...sword swallowing, fire breathing, and so on...and have it done by a pregnant girl? You got GOLD right there!

2. I think I'll be wrapping up my little Babymoon getaway by seeing my girlfriend herself, Lady Gaga in Cleveland once again, but this time with my wife, the lovely Phoebe. Still working on getting tickets that are in the right place for the right price. Hopefully we can secure those today. I was told Spencer would come out weird and webbed-toed if I watched anymore Glee (it was an ACCIDENT and I only watched 5 horrific minutes) but I am certain he'll come out weird and webbed-toed after the glory that is Gaga.

And now some random blather to wrap your minds around:

A) Is Luthor Vandross dead or did he just stroke out a bunch of times? This is going to bother me and I could probably just Google it...but I won't. So if you know, tell me. What is the physical state of Luthor Vandross.

B) Todd told me that all the excess whistling at the end of "Sitting On The Dock of the Bay" was just filler because Otis Redding had died before it was finished. I HATE whistling, I HATE that song and now, I hate YOU, Otis Redding.

C) Todd also thinks that Roy Orbison is a jerk, which I don't understand. We were listening to the Malt Shop Oldies channel and some song came on and he said, "Uuuuuuuugh, is this that JERK?!". Say whaaaaaat?

D) I think Melt is overrated. I've been there a handful of times and yeah, I've had fun (and I thought about getting a sandwich tattoo but only because I like ham sandwiches) but I don't understand why everyone drenches their panties over it they way they do. Sorry, Cleveland. I probably just made some major enemies.

E) How much make-up do you think I could scrape off Gwen Stefani's face? I'm thinking a lot. I'm going to be sure to wash her face clean before I punch it. She is on my list, after all. Make sure your face is clean now. Can't have no dirty dead.

F) I love you, Mariska Hargitay.

G) They are installing a 15-ton capacity crane at my work and they are installing it WITH a crane. I am totally fascinated by this thing. I wish I could describe it because, yeah, it's a big crane. But it's a BIG CRANE and I will be able to see if every day from my office. I named it Calibos (from the Harry Hamlin "Clash Of The Titans"...not that remake bullshit) because Conrad was rejected. I love the crane. It's fascinating my brain.

H) I need some new blogs to read. It's my morning ritual. Some people read the paper, I read blogs. And lots of my favorites blog few and far-between or have stopped altogether. So spill it. I don't need anything dramatic or poetic, just entertaining. Help a sistah out.

And with that...

Vague sketch of a fantasy laughing at the sunrise like he's been up all night.

2011-04-11T05:51:00.003-05:00

A fantastic weekend came to a close and the work week began with me cruising to work with the windows rolled down and the radio blasting total jams from the 50s and 60s. I think it was the right way to keep the good days a'coming. As the Violent Femmes sang, "Good feeling...can't you stay with me just a little longer?".

As previously mentioned, we unexpectedly got some good news that is just letting us be able to breathe and relax (I didn't even know we were holding our breath until we got this news). It just reminded me that we are uber-lucky and uber-fortunate and no doubt have a fanastic life ahead of us. It's so easy to lose sight of how good you've got it when you let stress creep in, ya know? No matter what it is, everything works out one way or another so you might as well just enjoy life! And no, I haven't turned hippie on you.

So after being kicked off in the right direction, my weekend continued full of laid-back awesomeness. I had lunch with John Jackson), hung with my parents, and had plenty of quality time with a husband I'm bananas about, finishing up our living/dining room project and watching Harry Potter movies and Sunday night cartoons. The weather didn't hurt anything either! Ah flip-flops, I missed you, old friends.

Life is good. You don't need to tell me twice. Hope it's good for you, too.

A COUNTDOWN
10 days until our NYC adventure.
45 days until the 3rd trimester.
76 days until Spencer's baby shower.
129 days until we're scheduled to have a baby.

Running like a fox to keep up with me.

2011-04-09T05:55:00.001-05:00

2 weeks from today, we'll be waking up in New York City! Our hotel has a view of the Statue and we're a block away from where the WTC was. Can't wait. Roadtrips = yum!

Chelsea Handler is weathered. I read the other day that she's only 35 and I almost fell off my chair. She's comedic but her face is a horror show. She's leathery and orange. I discriminate against the orange. I'm not going to lie.

I've been listening to Duran Duran's "Rio" album on a fairly constant basis lately. I recommend it to all. Lyrical geniuses.

We got some really good news out of the blue yesterday, which is the best kind of good news, in my opinion. I was reminded how lucky we are.

Todd told me that he thinks of me where he hears "She's a Beauty (One In a Million Girls)" by The Tubes. I hate that song but the sentiment was sweet. I'll probably start listening to it in a different way now.

Just woke up from a dream that I was in labor. All laboring moms were wearing hockey jerseys but I hadn't gotten mine yet. I hope I got the Penguins or Sharks, of course.

I think I use the phrase "slash her throat" or "slash their throats" too often. For whatever creepy reason, I like how it sounds.

We have a movie date tomorrow to either see Arthur or Your Highness. I don't expect either to blow my mind but I also don't expect either to rot as hardcore as that Hop nightmare the kid and I saw on Tuesday. Regardless, I lurve the movie theater hardcore! But if it's ad nice as the say weather-wise...maybe the zoo? I expect a great Sunday indeed.

Boots! Reveal yourself!

OK, time to start the day off right...by going back to sleep for a little while. Hey, I work hard while simultaneously growing a young man in my guts. I've earned the right to be lazy!!!

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I think that people are the greatest fun!

2011-04-05T05:26:00.001-05:00

I am obsessed with menus and knowing what people eat when they go out to lunch and dinner (breakfast can pretty much eat dirt). If anyone says, "Oh, I went to such and such restaurant last night" and doesn't tell me what they ate, I go apeshit bananas. I have to read menus online, even if I won't be dining there. Blue Pointe Grill and Metro are my most recent menu-stalks. Just wanted to fascinate you right off the bat with one of my many quirks.

Doc appt today. Details, if there are any, later at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

In the 5 year battle of spring-mounted dashboard ninja that kicks vs. spring-mounted dashboard ninja that punches, punchy has come out victorious, sending his opponent into the windshield. I thought it was going t o be the kicker all along but what do I know? I know it's time for new dashboard entertainment.

Even though "they" say it's a common symptom of pregnancy, I'm blaming all my recent intense dreams on watching too much Law and Order: SVU. That's probably not the best bedtime programming selection. What's horribly boring that I can watch which will lead to quality, dreamless sleep? That would be aces right about now. My brain needs a break.

Time to be productive. Time to be awesome.

So many stormy nights. So many wrong or rights.

2011-04-02T06:51:00.002-05:00

Is it really April? Is this year really zooming by while I feel like I'm standing still, using some fancy video tricks? I'll take the speediness and insanity because then Spencer (and flip-flop weather) will be here sooner...but I don't want RETIREMENT to be here sooner, ya know?

Regardless, welcome April.

I'm laying in bed, slothing it up, trying to conserve every ounce of energy for Memphis Morticians tonight (which my peanut sized brain thought was LAST night). I'm debating going to Cinema Wasteland to get some horror swag for the little man but trying to do both AND get this living/dining room painted AND cleaning Grayskull for a taco fiesta on Sunday will bury me. Ah, the joys of sharing all your energy with an ever-growing parasite! Guess I have to be selective. What will be the most fun??? Fun is where it's at. Fun is where it has always been.

Speaking of fun, after some debate, it looks like our baby shower will be at the 100th Bomb Group/Bomber's Squadron/whatever you want to call it, some time in June. I dig that place and I can't wait to see my girlfriends in one place at one time. I miss all those sexy sleazeballs. Now to register...what the Hell do I need to raise a baby??? Besides patience, alcohol, and a plethora of facial expressions?

Time to put a hurting on a box of Lucky Charms.

Wake up and find that what you're searching for has been here the whole time.

2011-03-29T05:08:00.002-05:00

3 years ago today I became someone's girlfriend.

A lot has happened in just 3 years.

We fell in love, we moved in together, we got engaged, we got a dog, we planned a wedding, we got married, we got another dog, we bought the house we'll grow old in, and we had countless amounts of adventures (including high highs and low lows) in between.

And now there's a baby boy on the way.

On Sunday, out of the clear blue sky Weasel said, "I love you", and I returned the emotion. Then he continued the conversation with, "I'm really happy"...and I'm really happy, too. We DESERVE to be happy. It's not like it's all been cake. But everything has been worth it.

People are amazingly lucky to have someone to puke your bad days on, tell your good news to, just sit in confortable silence with. Someone who loves you whether you look like the hottest ticket in town or some form of sewer-life. Someone who knows your quirks and loves them. Someone who is your best friend that you can ALSO make out with! It's all awesome.

It's been an awesome 3 years and I know exactly how lucky we are.

I love you, my Weasel. Happy Girlfriend/Boyfriend Anniversary.

So I start a revolution from my bed.

2011-03-28T05:30:00.000-05:00

I've rejoined the land of the living, if only in body. And the body part is pretty shaky. My mind is mush, like unused muscle. Everything aches and every breath feels like I'm standing in the frozen tundra attempting to enjoy fresh air. It's not refreshing. It's more akin to having my lungs grated.

But, even for me, there is only so much TV and napping one can do.

Spencer seems relatively unaffected by all this pneumonia/ear infection nonsense. And due to a week of doing nothing (and I mean NOTHING), I am really in tune with his movements. And we had a (one-sided) discussion about how awesome ice-cream is. So if I get nothing out of this horrific experience, at least I got some bonding time with my squirmy unborn...and Todd got an in utero high five. Awesome.

But that's where the awesomeness ends. I can honestly say that this is probably one of the worst illnesses I've had in the past 5 years or so. I just have to suck it up and keep on trucking. Pneumonia tends to hang on for awhile and I should know...this might be the 8th or 9th time my lungs have been ravaged. I'll have to sit down and really due the count sometime.

But for now...

Happy Birthday to my AWESOME MOM!!!!!!!

And Happy Birthday to my fav, Lady Gaga!

You're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win.

2011-03-24T11:48:00.006-05:00

Happy 32nd Birthday, bestie.

Monday was one of the most exciting days of my life as we found out we're having a son!!! But shortly after, I found out I was getting sick. We bought the little guy his first piggy bank (chrome!!) and BOOM!

Pneumonia and an ear infection.

I haven't been to work since Monday morning (which causes me stress...but eventually, I'll be gone for 8 - 10 weeks so they need to learn my gig) and I've barely been out of this bed besides to hit the doctor and then set $137 dollars on fire for prescriptions. I feel scummy, inside out.

But I've gotten to spend some time with my little man, feeling his every move. I like to think that his wriggles after I cough are meant to be comforting and his squirms after hearing Hall and Oates (Todd called when they came on the radio) meant he digs them. This is how I'm entertaining myself so I don't bawl about how much pain I'm in.

I know this isn't supposed to be the blog where I blather about my pregnancy but I am DAMN PUMPED. I always assumed I would want a girl but my heart did flips when we found out we were having a son. I love little boys (do not make that creepy) and little boys love their mothers. I'm swooning!

I'm also dying. It sure would be nice to breathe.

Back to bed.

Oh, Antonia, you were ROBBED!

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Goodbye gray skies. Hello blue.

2011-03-21T05:44:00.001-05:00

First, I finally got my wig done. A foot of hair, gone. Something about getting a haircut just makes you feel like a new person. Post-haircut, I went to the hospital and had some 2nd trimester blood drawn. They weren't as vampire-ish as usual. Hopefully the results are A-OK and everything keep going swimmingly. Anyway, haircut = awesome.

On Saturday, I met Henry Winkler, which was like a dream! He kissed me twice, hugged me, held my hand...swoon. He even rubbed my belly and blessed the use of the name Fonzie! I. WAS. GEEKED. Super awesome.

And today? Today we find out if we're having a boy or girl. This will probably be one of the most awesome moments OF MY LIFE! I keep flip-flopping but as of this morning, I think it's a girl. I did listen to an awful lot of Lady Gaga, after all. In my mind, things like that can affect gender. Though with all the rumors about my beloved Gaga, we could be in for a surprise!

STAY TUNED...

And when she wakes up and makes up her miiiiiiiiiiind...

2011-03-16T06:03:00.005-05:00

Additional info: 3 years ago today, I woke up with Todd in my bed for the first time. I (partially and fuzzily) remember it like it was yesterday.

I won't eat the ends. Not bread. Not bakery. Don't ask me to.

I'm trapped in Sick City and everything around me is hazy, kind of like "Yellow Submarine", 1960s type artwork that I despise. Too bright. Too hippie. I just want to put my hood up and sulk. I'm worried the little monster is having his/her way with my blood pressure again. Monster is GROUNDED. Everyone is grounded.

Paying bills relaxes me. Is that sick? I look forward to it every Wednesday.

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. I am actually Irish, as is my husband and our unborn.

Things I LOVE about being Irish/the Irish/St. Patrick's Day = soda bread, whiskey and green beer, potato soup, Conan O'Brien, the abundance of green (holla, green Converse), PJ McIntyre's and their bartenders, Liam Neeson, shamrocks and shamrock shakes, hanging w/my family, bagpipes and U2.

Things I HATE about being Irish/the Irish/St. Patrick's Day = drunk hooch girls and choch guys as far as the eye can see, The Pogues and almost all Irish music, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Colin Farrell, Guinness (unless I'm already warmed up), corn beef, Leprechauns, Celtic tattoos, the Irish Curse (red cheeks when drinking), bagpipes and U2.

"Uptown Girl" is a great song. You can't tell me otherwise. And with that...

A COUNTDOWN
5 days until we know...boy or girl.
10 days until our Columbus weekend roadtrip.
17 days until I'm half way done cooking.
36 days until we leave for NYC.
73 days until the third trimester.
157 days until little monster is scheduled to appear.

Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you.

2011-03-10T07:54:00.001-05:00

I had three nose bleeds yesterday. It was a total horror show. Bright red, clotty nastiness all over my face and running down my throat. Not what one would call glamorous, by any means. The volcanic eruption that occurred on my mug was followed by a mind-numbing, skull-crunching headache that made it difficult to focus. I was fairly certain I was going to stroke out but I survived.

Lived to bleed another day!

So another snow storm is heading this way, postponing further my dreams of wearing flip flops and listening to "I'm Easy" by Brendan Benson with the windows rolled down. That groundhog was a liar. He should get a nosebleed.

...

I actually feel bad for saying that. Yesterday I watched an adorable video of a Slow Loris with a paper parasol (a.k.a. drink umbrella) and was so irritated by this guy repeatedly taking the umbrella away from the Loris just to watch him grad for it again. He also tickled the Loris' armpits to make him raise the umbrella in the air. Just let the fuzzy little dude nap under his parasol and take a hike! Moving on.

Snow storm most likely means I'll be barricaded inside Castle Grayskull for the weekend, which is OK. I've been dying to do some painting and Todd and I have a Stephen King movie marathon scheduled for Saturday night. Movie marathons are perfect for snowy days. But I'm really hoping to make it out to the 5 O'Clock tomorrow to see a buncha one-man/woman bands and a buncha pals that I miss. I refuse to be weather's bitch.

Hot cocoa, cupcake, Swedish Fish and GOOD MORNING!

Take that look from off your face. Cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out.

2011-03-07T08:01:00.003-05:00

My new TV could eat my old TV for lunch. 55" monstrosity, I love you.

Todd sells his motorcycle parts to a random yahoo for a healthy price and we get a ginormous new television, Japanese for lunch, and I even score a pair of green Converse! Just in time for St. Patrick's Day (and I actually AM Irish, FYI). Not bad. Not bad at all.

All the juicy parts of my life revolve around the little monster. Read here.

Taking bets on if I'm growing a penis or vagina in my guts. Vag is currently leading.

Received our first wedding invitation of the year. It's one of many that we're expecting. Everyone is getting engaged, getting married, getting pregnant. Maybe there's something in the water. Or maybe everyone is growing up and we all need to accept that we're not such spring chickens anymore. Though I probably will never accept that seeing as my dream job is to be a team mascot or character at a theme park.

Moving on.

2011, I really don't understand you. For once, I'm actually sitting pretty, surrounded by radness, rather than being puked on by one horror after another. But you're not being so awesome to some people that I care deeply about. Don't be a bully. Cut my pals a little slack and help them get through what they're going through and come out the other side relatively unharmed. I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

They Might Be Giants album and tour this fall. Life is good.

Don't get hot-n-bothered. Listen, I know I got problems. I also know just what this goofy world needs.

2011-03-03T07:27:00.006-05:00

EDIT: New Bomb Turks at the Beachland June 11th. BE THERE!!!

Charlie Sheen, you're a fucking idiot and somehow, you'll become a hero to jackass men everywhere. You're a total junkie/alocholic, your career is circling the drain and no one will ever be able to insure you, the cops just came and took your sons away, and somehow, you're still better than me. Emilio Estevez should've been the star of your family. Ducks! Fly! Together!

Yesterday was a shit show. Just all around gross from the time I rolled out of bed until the time I rolled back into bed. I was trapped in stress shackles and basically barfed stress all over Tessa at a post-work, impromptu dinner. And then almost barfed my dinner. I need a temporary coma and a remedy to Round Ligament Pain that doesn't involve water as water is the devil in my world!

Check-up tomorrow. Hopefully hearing the little monster's heartbeat again will set things straight. And I know getting to schedule our ultrasound will be a healthy dose of excitement. And if I'm still wearing crabby pants after all that, I have 3 paintings I really want to do and brand spanking new supplies to do them with...maybe I'll just bury myself in art. Art or blankets, I'll be buried under one of the two.

It doesn't seem right that we fight so the party runs on all night.

2011-03-01T07:49:00.006-05:00

First off, I think January Jones looks like she's probably a big jerk.

Secondly, Duran Duran's "Rio" is a fantastic album from start to finish.

Third, nothing is more awesome than finding out your finished basement has flooded after a night jam-packed with hardcore storms! It's 5:00am and Todd and I are sloshing around with shop vacs. It was an all-day ordeal but luckily nothing was totally wrecked, besides us. I almost tore faces off when woken up from an unexpected nap.

Luckily, we had a good weekend as a foundation for dealing with our foundation issues (we HAVE to deal with it since our insurance companies WON'T, jerkfaces).

Saturday Todd planned a date because we had only been seeing each other in quick flashes. Sunday we went to Home Depot (a.k.a. my nightmare, as I hate the smell of lumber) to pick out paint and carpet for our front room/dining room renovation and then stuffed our faces full of breakfast. Mass amounts of blueberry crepes and pancakes gave us the motivation and energy to tear down wallpaper while listen to malt shop oldies! "Not Me" by The Orions is on my list of jams to download.

Man, It just sucks to have 2 large areas of Castle Grayskull torn apart...and moist.

Round ligament pain sucks, too. Grrrrrr.

51 days to NYC. 51 days to NYC. 51 days to NYC. 51 days to NYC.

The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see.

2011-02-24T07:08:00.003-05:00

"I can't wait to walk hand in hand with you on the streets of NYC" - Weasel text.

I. CAN'T. WAIT. EITHER. BABY. I feel like I need to buy some hats. New York City seems like the kind of place where you should wear hats. Like I've said, I've been there but it was usually with a guy who was a total nightmare, zero dollars to do anything with, and just a generally bad disposition. Though I did once go to Pickliscious Pickle-On-a-Stick, which doesn't seem to be in business anymore.

Shucks.

This time around, I'm going with people I'm bananas about and we're going to do awesome shtuff! One day, we're having "Museum Day" and going to MoMA, The Natural History Museum, Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum, The Museum of Sex, and the Central Park Zoo. That sounds like a great effing day (especially if it includes a hot dog from a street vendor or a deli pickle)! This day also includes me having a moment outside of Tiffany's. What could be better?

And I'm totally enjoying the fact that if anyone asks me what I did on Easter, I can say, "I had a lovely brunch with friends in New York City". Hopefully that isn't followed with, "And then we got mugged by some total hooligans at gun point and I wet my pants". I'm hoping a pregnant person isn't a large (no pun intended...I can button my pants again, after all) target for crime. Even though I'll be 23 weeks then, I WILL kick-ass if need be.

Kicking Ass in New York City. Sounds like a movie staring Kurt Russell.

You called me last night on the telephone.

And I was glad to hear from you 'cause I was all alone.

You said, "It's snowing, it's snowing! God, I hate this weather."

Now I walk through blizzards just to get us back together

We met in the springtime at a rock-and-roll show.
It was on the Bowery when it was time to go.
We kissed on the subway in the middle of the night.
I held your hand, you held mine, it was the best night of my life.

'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City!
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty!
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see.
But the best thing about New York City is you and me!

Statue of Liberty, Staten Island Ferry, Co-op City, Katz's and Tiffany's!
Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge, The Empire State where Dylan lived!
Coney Island and Times Square, Rockefeller Center!
Wish I was there!

You wrote me a letter just the other day.
Said, "Springtime is coming soon so why don't you come to stay."
I packed my stuff, got on the bus, I can't believe it's true.
I'm three days from New York City and I'm three days from you.

'Cause everyone's my friend in New York City!
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty!
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see.
But the best thing about New York City is you and me!

I don't even know what you're thinking. Don't even know what you're drinking but it keeps this Heaven alive.

2011-02-22T07:09:00.001-05:00

I think I'm having an allergic reaction to Chlorine which is super awesome because to the outside world, it could appear that I am either cracked out or have mites. Both scenarios are exactly how I want to be seen by the world.

In more exciting and less skin-shreddingly itchy news, I think we're going to New York City for a long weekend in April! Now I've been to NYC many a time but never had what people would call "a blast". And I've never seen the sites! Empire State Building, Ground Zero, Brooklyn Bridge, Statue of Liberty, the MET, etc. I DID see Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore pushing Coco in a stroller...and I saw Nicole Kidman getting into a limo. Regardless...

So this time around, it's all about being touristy and seeing how many ridiculous photos we can take. This trip won't revolve around drinking and bar life so the pregnant broad won't be odd man out. The only things on my personal Road Trip To-Do List are (possibly) see the Addams Family musical, eat at The Jekyll and Hyde Club, get my picture outside Le Bernadin and Parsons, and load up on Presidente to bring back for post-pregnancy!

We have an EXCELLENT tour guide (hooray for John Jackson!) and neither Sharon nor Todd have been to NYC. I love going to new places with Todd. As we were boarding the airplane for our honeymoon, he said we needed to get passports because "...we're totally going to travel the world together". This may be our last adventure together for awhile and it's going to be amazing.

APRIL CAN'T GET HERE SOON ENOUGH!!!

And HEY, what's today?? It's Becky's 40th Birthday!!! Becky kept my head above water, kept me ALIVE, for many years. Anything that I have and everything that I am (the non-scummy parts, at least) I owe to her. I can't possibly put into words how much I appreciate her friendship. So HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS, my friend! I hope someone wraps up the world and gives it to you today!

So I stayed in the darkness with you.

2011-02-18T13:10:00.006-05:00

01 - A picture of yourself (with 15 facts about you...but you know enough about me).

02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

04 - A picture of your night.

05 - A picture of something you miss.

06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

10 - A picture of the person you do the craziest things with.

11 - A picture of something you hate.

12 - A picture of something you love.

13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

19 - A picture and a letter - um...I don't get this...so...no picture.

20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel. *Guam*

21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

23 - A picture of your favorite book.

24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

25 - A picture of your day.

26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.

29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

30 - A picture of someone you miss.

Welcome to your life. There's no turning back.

2011-02-14T06:52:00.002-05:00

Let's add Miley Cyrus and Kesha to the list of people I want to punch. Thanks.

Now on a less violent note...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, Y'ALL!

I like Valentine's Day. I'm not one of those people who drones on and on about how stupid it is and how they can't wait for it to be over. I like the pink and red and the cookies and flowers and silly cards and bad stuffed animals. Even when I haven't been in a relationship, I've liked the concept and always had a friend as a Valentine. Sure, you don't (and shouldn't) NEED a day to tell the people you care about how you feel. but it's still nice to hear. And nice is nice.

I slaved away on my day off making Todd cookies and brownies and got him a card letting him know that if we were in prison, I'd totally shiv someone on his behalf, which is true. It felt good just to go the extra mile to let him know I think he's aces. He took me to see an impromptu movie (we NEVER see comedies in the theater so it was a TREAT) and we watched Futurama in bed afterwards. It was just what Valentine's Day (even if we celebrated a day early) should be. Lowkey yet awesome. Lots of hand holding.

So Happy Valentine's Day, y'all. If I happen to hate you, you get a free pass today. Take advantage of it. This kind of generosity only comes once a year. If I happen to LURVE you, then I hope you have a down right great day. And to my other Valentine, Lady Gaga, I really can not wait to go home and watch your nasty self hatch out of an egg. I love you more and more every day!

When I, you, and everyone we knew could believe, do, and share in what was true.

2011-02-10T08:04:00.001-05:00

Last night I was in a GIANT bed in a swanky New York hotel room with Nathan Lane and the hybrid drag queen, Acid Betty (as seen on Project Runway season 5). We were having serious "girl talk". At some point, I also peed on a radiator that was in one of those department store revolving doors and I was only wearing a robe and diamonds.

I'm blaming all of my weird dreams on pregnancy.

You're there sucking on a lollipop like you haven't aged a day!

2011-02-08T08:13:00.008-05:00

As of yesterday, I am 32 and I feel pretty good about it.

I am a big fan of my birthday. Always have been. This year, my birthday has been kind of low-key. Probably the first year in a decade that the celebration won't involve jello shots and live bands, and that's alright. There's still been plenty of worth-while recognition of the big 3-2.

Tessa took me to Olive Garden Friday night where we gabbed and stuffed.

My family birthday party was Saturday but it was kind of mucked up due to snow and one of my sisters and her family had to miss out. Bummer. I got a super cool baby book that is all about birthdays which I'm psyched about and a stuffed Lowly Worm! I was told it's for the monster but we'll see about that. My parents gave me a super soft baby blanket and The Complete Idiot's Guide to Teaching a Baby Sign Language - I collect Idiot's Guides AND I took American Sign Language In College. And I pocketed some cash...

...which I spent every last dime of the next morning! I got a Finn t-shirt, new royal blue (or maybe aqua) Converse, Top Chef DC, socks, drawers, and a few roomier t-shirts and old man cardigans for my expanding guts! SCORE!

Yesterday, on my actual birthday, I woke up to cinnamon rolls and a card from my husband and stepson. It was sweet but I felt off all day. People wished me Happy Birthday at work and I got a gazillion Facebook messages (nothing means anything if it's not on Facebook) but it just felt like...Monday. I guess I had the birthday blues. I came home to an empty house and put myself to bed with a headache.

I awoke to the Jaws theme as a GIANT stuffed shark was swimming towards me. It was a Pillow Pet! Yep, I'm a 32 year old pregnant woman who got a pillow pet for my birthday. Todd said since (due to his new work schedule) he'll be coming to bed after I'm asleep, I needed a substitute snuggler. Enter shark Pillow Pet. I bet he didn't bank on me snuggling it all night and totally ignoring him. I couldn't help it. So sofffffffft. So comforting. My husband loves me.

He also got me DC Villian skate shoes which I LOVE! Bright blue is my new thang.

Tonight, we're going to my favorite restaurant, Benihana, to rock the chopsticks with Tom, Carol and Ben, which I am SO looking forward to. For some reason, I bawled the entire way to work...no more Florence and the Machine until this baby is born! The remedy for musically induced sobs is good food with good friends. It's a mighty fine was to wrap up a lowkey birthday, if I do say so myself.

Off topic but NOT off topic...R.I.P. Tura Satana. Sorry, but you're just another cool person to fall victim to the wrath of my birthday. Horrible things tend to happen mere days before February 7th rolls around...Big Bopper, Richie Valens & Buddy Holly's plane crashes, The Beatles release "Hey Jude", Patty Hearst was kidnapped, Sid Viscious OD'd, Falco got hit by a bus (we'll never hear "Rock Me, Amedeus" again), Lux Interior croaked, and now, Tura has met her demise. It's a curse.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

All this time, how could you not know, baby?

2011-02-02T07:20:00.005-05:00

It's February. The month of LOVE. So I'm going to rant about some things that I hate because I LOVE to do that. But before I go getting all nutso about things that really don't matter in the long run, I want to say this...which goes along with February's feeling of love in a more loving way:

THIS HAS BEEN EDITED. JUST THE BASICS.

3 of my nephew's friends were in a horrific car crash on Monday night and things are not looking good for the two young passengers. You may have seem it on the news. Despite the circumstances and despite people's nasty opinions, I hope they all make it. 15 is too young to die from head injuries cause by a car crash that didn't need to happen. They haven't even lived yet.

NOW...it's time for ME to be negative!!!

Kat Von D, I hate you and your ugly face. I hate the way you talk, the things you say, the way you dress. I admit, you've got INSANE talent. But I also think you're insane. And the more I read about you, the more I'm embarrassed that I ever watched your show. Blech.

And this is going to sound super juvenile and ridiculous and like something that shouldn't even be commented on. But I recently saw the pictures from W Magazine that Kim Kardashian is going all bananas about...and yeah, Kim Kardashian's ass is DISGUSTING. I never thought twice about it when it was clothed because, hey, I have a big ass and I like it. I like curves. I don't want to look like a little boy. But her naked ass? REPULSIVE. I actually covered my eyes and had to look through my fingers. Blech.

I hate radio country. A LOT. Especially "Red Neck Woman" type stuff. Blech.

I guess that's all I've got. Needed to spew a little hate so you didn't think I was getting wishy washy on you! And OH, incase you don't read 1313 Mockingbird Lane, welcome to the world Vincent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will have my cake and I will eat it, too. Just like you.

2011-01-31T06:27:00.002-05:00

1 week until my birthday. My favorite day of the year!

Now I know all Hell has broken loose in my life because I'm eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I hate peanut butter. It's my number one hated food tied with pineapples. But since I haven't gained any weight yet, I figure I better give baby what it wants. And apparently it wants peanut butter. Disgusting.

Hey! We stayed out until 12:15 Saturday night! We. Are. ANIMALS!

Saturday was Carol and Chanda's birthday shindig at the Yorktown Lanes bar. It was incredible, and not just because we kicked the night off with steaks accompanied by the lovely Miss Tessa. At the alley, I got to see so many friends that I haven't seen in MONTHS, even if it was briefly. I found myself a chair by John Jackson and settled in. Lots of people are pumped about the baby and we even got an amazing piece of artwork from Phoebe that says "M is for Mother, F is for Father". It was unexpected and super rad.

It was fun to see bands again, too. I felt in my element. The last time I went to see bands at Yorktown Lanes, I got pregnant! This night was much more lowkey. And you heard it hear first...unless you heard it all over Facebook...Lady Leadfoot was AMAZING. I love Carol and her one-woman band but she was BORN to play saxophone in a funk band. My mind was blown and I was so proud.

And I never realize how much I miss people until we're together again.

But yeah, around 12:15, the monster retaliated by making me the gassiest human being on the planet and I officially LOOKED pregnant. I not only looked pregnant, I looked HUGE. I was a hot air balloon and couldn't get any relief. It took a looooooong time to fall asleep but it was worth it. I had a great time. I felt like myself.

The rest of the weekend? Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Literally.

So life is good and very lowkey right now. Actuallym life is SUPER good because Vincent is going to be born TODAY if he hasn't been born already. Waiting for an update. He's a week late so everyone, mostly his parents, are on pins and needles. Hopefully they got to stick to their birth plan and everything is going A-OK. I can't wait to hear that he's officially appeared on the scene.

You just want to wash me to the drain...but you can't make me go away.

2011-01-26T10:35:00.003-05:00

700 POSTIES!!!

In the tradition of landmark posts a la 500, 600, I am going to present you with some fun facts in a fun way rather than just blather at your eyeballs per usual. First, I'm going to copycat some thingamabob (I refuse to call it a 'meme') that Bizzle is currently doing. And secondly, I'm going to jump on board the whatchamacallit that Donny is currently entertaining himself with. I like those kids so what's good enough for filling their time is good enough for filling mine.

Happy 700 Posts, Cleveland "A". You're just delicious.

PART 1: Stolen from Phee-Bizzle.

One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

-I wish I had even a fraction of your guts. Whenever you tell me you're nervous about something, it shocks the Hell out of me. In my mind, you are totally fearless, which I think is totally awesome.

-Becoming a mother is the best thing that ever happened to you. I've always been crazy about you as a person but when I look at you now, you're just so damn beautiful. Inside and out. You've come a long way, baby.

-The negative way you treated me pushed me...not to be a better person because I was just fine. And not to prove you wrong because I don't have to prove anything to anyone. But it pushed me...and now, I have a GREAT life. What the fuck have you got?

-All of my most ridiculous memories took place with you. I don't think we're going to be making any more memories like that. Kind of makes me wish the last "story worthy" thing we did together didn't take place at a Taco Bell.

-I'm probably not as sad as I should be that I don't really know who you are anymore. I'd rather fondly remember who you used to be.

-I'm really, really proud of you. You've grown leaps and bounds from the person you were 10 years ago. Not that that person was bad, by any means. You're just pretty damn amazing now. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you're still in my life after all these years and our ups and downs. My days just aren't the same when you're not around. You're one of my best friends.

-I could not function without you. You are the love of my life.

-The two of you make me feel like I'm worthless. And I refuse to let ANYONE make me feel that way. So where do we go from here?

-You're going to get through it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but the tunnel might be 1,000 miles long and filled with snakes. Regardless, I know you will get through it and you will manage to come out relatively unharmed on the other side. I'm happy to go through it with you...but you have to deal with the snakes.

-You're a monster and most of the people who know you agree. The rest of them will figure it out. Eventually, you will be left with nothing but regrets. In the words of Phil Collins, a very wise man, "If you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand".

Two: Nine things about yourself.

-I have always been told that I am my mother's daughter. I don't doubt this in the least. We're both totally bananas, laugh at our own jokes, like the same music. and movies. But after flipping over a relatively important document to draw a diagram to illustrate a point, I was told I was my father's daughter. It was the first time.

-If I'm crying, and someone else starts crying, I stop crying.

-I'm not a lazy person, per se, but my favorite days are the ones where you stay in your pajamas, eating junk, watching movies, reading magazines. Lazy days. So many of my favorite days involved Becky, romantic-comedies and Chinese food, or Phoebe, bad movies, brownies and mac-n-cheese. Simple. Perfect. Honestly...I'm easy to please.

-I can day-dream like nobody's business. I have about 1,000,000 different lives.

-I try to be as honest as I can with people. I don't believe that holding things back or sugar-coating things, especially when asked directly, helps anyone. HOWEVER, I am not blunt. I believe there is a huge difference between being honest and being blunt. I don't think blunt people care about who they hurt with their words. I still try to protect people's feelings...because I know I can take things very personally at times. You can be honest. You don't need to be an asshole.

-I'm trying to be less of an asshole.

-I hate the word 'asshole'. Not as much as I hate 'butthole' though.

-I really and truly have very little regrets about my life and how I've lived it. Sure, there are things I wish I'd never done or people I wish I'd never wasted my time with, and so on. But overall, every experience I've had has made my life what it is in one way or another. And right now, I truly love my life. There's nothing more I could ask for.

-It's been incredibly difficult to just talk about myself.

Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

-Love me for me, quirks and all. Don't expect me to change and don't ask me to. Treat me how you expect/want to be treated.

-Trust me and be trust worthy. Simple as that.

-Little things go a long way...like laying out my pre-natal vitamins and a banana for the morning or texting me to let me know it's icy out because you know I'm clumsy or bringing me lunch to work because I forgot me and leaving a sweet note in the bag. The sweet, little gestures mean more to me than any expensive gift.

-Be yourself. It's your weird little quirks and silliness, the stuff that sets you apart, that make me swoon.

-Love my friends like I love them. Take them into your life. Make them your friends. Because if I was forced to choose...

-Be supportive and encouraging. A pat on the back or "way to go" or an offer of help from you means more than from anyone else in the world.

-It may sounds dumb, silly, pathetic, juvenile...but a random snuggle, a hug, a smooch, a head/back rub, hand holding, pulling you close at night...aces. All of it.

-Accept that I'm a chick and will do chick things like get moody or emo. Cutting some clack from time to time is always appreciated.

Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

- "We're sooooo close to being in good financial shape. It's going to feel so good to have a surplus of money every week. What a weight that'll be off my mind."

- "If I never saw you again, I wouldn't miss you. I wonder if that's bad."

- "I can't wait to find out if you're a boy or a girl."

- "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

- "If I go to bed this early, will that be pathetic?"

- "Life is good."

- "Gross."

Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

-Various tattoos and facial piercings automatically come to mind.

-Dated not 1 but 2 raging alcoholics who treated me like garbage while I wasted my youth keeping them alive.

-Eloped when I was just a young idiot.

-Let you make me feel bad in order to feel better about yourself.

-Put myself in some of the bad positions I put myself in.

-Erased the photos of the damage you caused

Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1. Todd
2. Tessa
3. Carol
4. Becky
5. The monster

Seven: Four turn-offs.

-Frat-boy syndrome...where pounding beers is SO AWESOME.
-Excessive cussing for no reason.
-Phonies a.k.a. no original personality.
-Know-It-Alls...even if they DO know it all.

Eight: Three turn-ons.

-A genuine, happy smile and rad sense of humor.
-Something that sets you apart from the pack.
-A positive attitude without being too hippie-ish.

Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.

Why? Because NOTHING means more to me right now than these things:

Ten: One confession.

-This was exhausting. I think Donny's project might have to be post 701. My brain aches.

Sittin' here wishin' on a cement floor.

2011-01-25T05:43:00.002-05:00

Rollercoaster goes up. Rollercoaster goes down.

Until yesterday, I had never really fainted before. It was unexpected as I'm guessing most fainting is. I was in the shower getting ready for work and, pardon my French, blacked-the-fuck-out. I never lost consciousness but I lost vision.

A few stumbles back and I cracked my melon on the shower wall. Vision back, room spinning, heart pounding, me yacking. Ultra glamerous. And ultra scary.

I laid down on the bathroom and could hear/feel my head pounding in my ears. Migrated to the bed and felt comatose. I tried to fuel up to see if that was the problem but I was just off. Period. High-tailed it to the ER to get the scoop.

They had to think I was high.

Regardless, they asked me a battery of questions and ran a plethora of tests, including several BP tests and an EKG. The conclusion was that my blood pressure was reaaaaaally low (due to pregnancy, dehydration, and possibly the notoriously hot showers I take).

My blood supply has increased and is focused around the tiny human I'm growing. Takes longer for blood to get to the brain. But that's nothing new. I was encouraged to follow up with my OB/GYN within 24 hours so here I am, waiting.

I guess the whole low BP mess gets treated with rest and boatloads of fluids. I was told to drink until I feel overhydrated...and them keep drinking. I'm probably internally drowning.

It's all a bummer because I had turned a corner. No more random nausea, not sooo exhausted, appetite starting to rally. Then this. Balls.

Up next? My 700th post.

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I feel the chemicals creeping in.

2011-01-18T11:40:00.001-05:00

My new obsessions! I am going to try and pick up the book of patterns today and get cracking on crocheting these awesome little dolls. Of course my unborn monster needs ALL of them, but I also want to make some for Vincent, Evan, Livvie, etc. So I need to get started so I can get over the first pancake phenomenon.

I taught myself how to knit from a book so I'm sure I can learn how to crochet. I heard the patterns can be a little tricky if you're already used to typical crochet patterns...but I'm not! I'm unspoiled! Working on these little critters will give me something to do besides watch 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls when my stomach is feeling lame. I'm really pumped.

First up for my bundle of horror...robot, ninja, and possibly Spartan.

CAN'T WAIT.

I don't mind and I don't mind.

2011-01-17T11:40:00.002-05:00

Nothing says Monday like your doc declaring you STD free.

...

Maybe I should state that I had no doubts about my STD-free-ness. I was forced into the tests by my doc who was just looking out for the eyesight of my unborn. Vaginal yuck and baby blindness go hand-in-hand. If you didn't know, now you do.

Want a rant?

I can't flippity flipping BELIEVE that Annette Benning won a Golden Globe for that horrific monstrosity, "The Kids Are Alright". That movie was garbage and I'll be fast-forwarding through her acceptance speech when I watch the Globes...which I have DVR'd because I have an awards show addiction. I would've pulled a Kanye, had I been there. Why I would be at the Golden Globes is in question but I would've gone apeshit!

And why is the press all overcome with shock and awe about Ricky Gervais making jokes at the expense of some "celebrities"? Have you ever watched an awards show before? Do you even KNOW who Ricky Gervais IS? I can't wait to see him lay into Angelina Jolie. She needs to be taken down a few pegs. Preferably by me. And Preferably by cutting off her calves with a machete.

Speaking of amputation...

Sorry, Zsa Zsa. I heard you don't even know your leg is gone yet but that you've been eating ice cream and sausage and smiling. I would not be smiling if I came off of Morphine to discover my leg had been removed. But maybe Zsa Zsa Gabor isn't as anti-amputation as I am. Wait...maybe I'm not so much ANTI-amputation. I'm just terrified of it. Apotemnaphobia. If I were her...apeshit.

I had a bunch of nightmares last night. One dealing with me outside at night in the rain, digging through wet soil to find these long, scary, angry weasel type creatures and then pretty much beating them to death because they were both frightening AND stopping me from fixing my car battery. I felt like I was in the pool in "Poltergeist".

I somehow think the nightmare was cause by an episode of "No Reservations" where Anthony Bourdain was digging for Geoduck/Gooey Duck. Yeah, I'm officially also afraid of prehistoric looking clams. Ostroconophobia. That's just a fear of clams, not prehistoric looking ones specifically.

I've gotta go. I'm feeling freaked out by my own rant!

Heaven knows what happens now.

2011-01-13T07:47:00.001-05:00

A lot of milestones are creeping up here in my ridiculous little life. Commemoration of 32 years put in on this planet by me (I do NOT miss my 20s one little bit), 3 years as a dedicated employee at The Coast (I get a pizza party and a cool grand once I've been here 10 years, which is one of my main goals in life...who doesn't like a pizza party and a pat on the back?), and 3 years running amok with Todd.

Maybe 3 years doesn't sound like that long in the grand scheme of things but if I think about WHERE I was working or WHO I might have been seeing at the time or WHAT my ridiculous little life was life, it seems lifetimes ago. Light years. It's hard to even remember, which may be a blessing. Those were not my most glamorous moments, I'll tell you what. And I'm not just talking about the pink hair or the drunken debacles *twitch*

But for feeling like 3 years really isn't that long, I've managed to jam pack a boatload of shtuff in there. I left a job that I once loved (and was pretty damn good at), I left someone (which was one of the most freeing feelings in my life), I got a new and much better job, found a new and much better mate (and we mated for life), got engaged and planned a wedding, tied that knot and was a newlywed, moved into the house we'll spend the rest of our lives in, and created LIFE out of THIN AIR! When I think about all that, yeah, 3 years is a long time.

If you had to spend 3 years in jail, I bet you'd fucking hate it.

I don't know why I'm doing all this pseudo-deep thinking. I also don't know why I'm using so many parenthesis today. I know the past 3 years have been far superior to the previous 3, and for that, I'm thankful.

And I do know it's comforting that the main cast of characters in my life have remained from then to now. They're good eggs. I hate that term, "good eggs", because I hate eggs. But if I said, "They're good squids", would people be left scratching their heads? How did this whole thing start again? Oh yeah, life is funny. I think that's the central theme.

Thanks for being good squids.

I'm not the one to tell you what's wrong or what's right.

2011-01-10T11:38:00.005-05:00

Let me stress AGAIN how glad I am to have been in a coma for most of 2011 so far because this year has been b-b-bumpy for family and friends already! To any of my nearest and dearest going through a rough patch right now, I love you and know you'll come out the other side relatively unscathed, even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. One foot in front of the other.

I have not had my hair cut in almost a year. Which I believe is the same thing I said last year at this time. I need to get the thumbs up from my doc tomorrow for a dye job (I don't want our monster coming out with three heads because I couldn't live without peek-a-boo highlights) and then I'm treating myself. This mess is even too long for an Ann-Margaret 'do and that just doesn't work in my book. I refuse to look scruffy.

Carol's birthday shin-dig is coming up at the end of the month which means the debut of Lady Leadfoot. I'm excited about that and having a bowling ally grilled cheese, equally. I just have to train the mutt in my gut to WANT to rock out. Or at least to allow ME to rock out. I refuse to sleep through a bunch of fun bands and celebrating a lady I lurve. If you're looking for me, I'll be at the counter eating one of everything (I WILL have my appetite back by then, I WILL).

Speaking of mutts-in-guts, I predict that Vincent will be born on January 19th. I don't know why but I have a feeling he'll make an early debut. I'm pretty good at predicting what kind of junk the unborn will end up with but I've never taken a stab at due dates. So...January 19th. You heard it here first.

That's all. Hard to entertain when you've become a championship napper.

Baby blather here.

Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that was pouring like an avalanche, coming down the mountain.

2011-01-05T06:22:00.002-05:00

I hate Dane Cook. He is not at all funny. Loud does not equal hilarious.

I also hate the song "Only Girl" by Rhianna. I've heard it accidentally while scanning the radio channels and it's atrocious. It truly sounds like she struggling and I find that annoying.

Let's see...what else do I currently hate?

Phonies. That's a given. Anyone with a hidden agenda. Anyone trying to purposefully ruffle feathers. And I'm sort of hating 2011. For me, it's been swell because I've been in a constant coma (though the little monster let me escape yesterday with ZERO morning sickness and none so far today), but I'm hating it for pals and family.

Within 4 days, a friend had to unexpectedly bury a young family member, my cousin (the nicest guy in Cleveland, everyone loves Dave P.) was attacked by a Canadian jackass and has his arm in a cast, and my bro-in-law (Godfather to the unborn) was hauled out of work in an ambulance. All within 4 days! Bananas.

So I'm feeling kind of hate-y today. This never-ending chest cold is helping to feed my rage. It was a struggle to fall out of bed today. Pudding for breakfast has increased the odds that this day will improve.

And less than a week until we get to see/hear a heartbeat. That's boss.

Maybe the time is right. Oh, maybe tonight.

2011-01-02T11:46:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year, sexy pants.

I still haven't made a resolution and still don't think I will seeing as I can't see past my next nap. But I think I'm going to follow in Little Jen's footsteps and make this year a little bit more about me. 2011 with be the year of Lacey.

I spent far too much of 2010 worrying about other people...not that that's a bad thing. But a piece of advice I have always lived by...and dispensed...is that I'm the only one who will be in my coffin so I'm the one I need to make happy. Now I'm not being selfish. I want to make others happy...husband, family, close friends. But I need to spend some time on me.

Right now, I'm feeling so guilty for all the time I spend sleeping or exhausted. Like I'm abandoning my family. But, as my pals keep reminding me, I'm growing a human being! There is nothing wrong with me getting as much sleep as possible. I've got to take care of me.

And there have been some people who have taken up too many of my thoughts and don't deserve to. Maybe it sounds harsh to say I'm writing people of...but I am. I need to be surrounded by less drama and less negativity. I'm not turning "hippie" but I have lots of awesome people on my life. They're who I want to be around.

So, I guess that's it. 2011: The Year Of Me.

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I'm not the man they think I am at home.

2010-12-29T08:02:00.001-05:00

Do I want to make resolutions this year? It's pretty common for people to flake out on the resolutions before the first day of the year is even kaput. It might be a waste of my time to even make a boring list full of the same ol', same ol'.

I could say I'm going to eat better (but I have zero appetite which can't be good for the monster inside me), that I'm going to workout (but Tessa and I already have plans to join the rec in February to help her drop those last few lbs. and keep me fit during my preggoness), that I'm going to paint more (I was so flipping motivated and have a list a mile long and then SPLAT....nothing), that I'm going to get more money into savings (which actually WILL happen)...

...BUT THAT'S ALL BORING!

And to be honest, I don't know what I want to come out of 2011! I just know that I want 2010 to be over. Don't get me wrong, some great things happened: Olivia was born, Jimbo and Jess got hitched, EVERYONE under the sun that I love got engaged, we bought Castle Grayskull, Vincent (and our unborn) done got conceived.

But HORRIBLE things happened, too: friends lost loved ones (R.I.P. grandma), Brother Ed was diagnosed with cancer, other pals/family had medical issues, relationships ended, etc. There was good, for sure, but did the good outweigh the bad? I'm not sure.

Per usual, I'll try to make sure to make the best out of the year, no matter how backwards it might turn out. But as for specific resolutions...eh...I don't know. What I DO know is that for YEARS now, Carol High Hair and I have been waiting for years to end so the next one can get better. I could really use a year that is so great, I don't want it to end, ya know?

I bet you're with me.

Don't sound like Christmas at all.

2010-12-27T06:18:00.002-05:00

Of course I'd be up by 5am on my vacation day from work. Ah, the joys of pregnancy. Oh, if you didn't already know, I've got a bun in the oven. But there's a bun-in-the-oven blog for that blather. I just wanted to make a point that the monster inside me likes me to rally early.

So why not blog from bed?

Christmas had it's moments but won't be going down in history as the best I've ever had. I was exhausted a majority of the time and things never seemed to go planned. Christmas morning was a success and that's what matters. All the hard work I did playing Santa paid off. Yeah, I'm good at that schtuff.

And I scored some nifty stuff. I like the getting as much as the giving, I'm not going to lie. A Finn hat, Adventure Time hoodie, Futurama season 5, Super Mario All-Stars for the Wii, and a pair of sweet DC boots I had my eye in. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Regardless, I'm glad it's over. I'm sure New Years will be low key, too. I just want to get 2010 out the door by any means necessary! I don't know anyone who would give this year high marks.

I guess I've summed up my holiday so maybe I'll try and shut my eyes again. Dr. Nightmare is laying on my belly purring away. Maybe she'll motor me into a coma!

Sweet dreams.

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Oh, I won't sleep tonight.

2010-12-23T14:52:00.003-05:00

Aching all over. Chills. Pounding head. Stiff neck. Yep, I'm sick. Happy Holidays to moi. Illness makes me French. So I'm knee-deep in season 2 of Gilmore Girls, buried under a pile of blankets with my hood up and a serious case of ennui.

My X-Mas Eve outfit is laid out (and adorable) and I'm putting off gathering X-Mas day steaks until mañana (now I'm Spanish). So for the rest of the day/night, consider me a zombie.

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I'm beyond repair so give me back my broken parts.

2010-12-22T07:21:00.003-05:00

RANT!

Let me kick this off by saying that I do NOT like the song "Be OK" by Ingrid Michaelson. I had heard it in some annoying commercial before but today was the first time I had ever heard it on the radio. I loved her jam "The Way I Am", also in a commercial, so I gave this one a shot.

Now I'll admit, it's upbeat, peppy, and can certainly make you dance in your seat or at least bob your head. It's catchy. It's sun-shiny and bright. AND IT'S SIMULTANEOUSLY TOTALLY DEPRESSING! The story behind the song is just plain sad...a women who just wants to be OK, just wants to feel something, and is made up of nothing but broken hearts. It's basically a "Will I or won't I kill myself today because there is absolutely nothing left in my life but misery?" tale. AND IT'S SO DAMN PEPPY.

It was confusing to me. Therefore, I must never hear it again.

Moving on...

I could listen to "Animal" by Neon Trees all day long. It's my new jam.

Moving on...again...

Christmas is right around the corner. My shopping is done and my wrapping is following closely behind. We've settled on steaks for our X-Mas day meal because hey, nothing says Christmas quite like grilling. Maybe we'll start a new tradition and go see a movie like Tom and Carol always do. Regardless, whatever we do, I think it'll be great...so long as I hear New Bomb Turks' version of "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)", "Christmas Is Coming" as performed by Miss Piggy and watch "Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas".

I have high hopes, despite feeling like the flu is coming on.

This kiss you give, it's never ever gonna fade away.

2010-12-20T06:44:00.002-05:00

The weekend was jam-packed. Exhaustion is bossing me around.

Like I've said, I really am in the holiday spirit, and not just because I got a healthy bonus at the company Christmas party on Thursday. Friday night we had my aunts over and I was so darn pleased with myself...how festive the house looked, how the food turned out. It was a nice evening, but that was just the kick off.

The next night was X-Mas with my immediate family where I stuffed myself silly with chicken paprikash and got amazing gifts! I wasn't supposed to get anything since we were fronted some cash for our Disney vacation...but I ended up with 5 poison jars I LOVE, a Rachael Ray sautee pan I was dying for, and a microplane which I have ALWAYS wanted. Watch out lemons, I'm coming for you!

Closed out the weekend by being a cooking fool as I prepped a turkey feast for Todd's immedaite family X-Mas (which was at Castle Grayskull). Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and again, I felt pretty proud. But pride was quickly followed by mind-numbing exhaustion. I've been running on go for way too long and there's no rest in SIGHT!

On deck: PF Chang's for a holiday dinner with Todd and Sharon, X-Mas Eve at my Grandma's (R.I.P.), X-Mas day in our jammies stuffing our faces and watching movies, and a holiday get together with my cousins. Hopefully I can schedule some naps in there! Either way, I'm loving life right now, despite the chaos, and I hope you are, too.

I just wish I could see some of my friends. I miss y'all.

I know this post wasn't uber-exciting but this is how it is.

Don't go spreading those stories around. Those facts are still in doubt.

2010-12-15T06:50:00.002-05:00

Uno: I started listening to the Drags album, 45 x 3, on my way to work this morning and forgot how totally AWESOME it is. "I Like To Die" and "Well Worth Talking About" are jams. It's always fun to be reintroduced to music. I was getting pretty tired of the contents of my Ipod. This does NOT mean you, Lady Gaga and They Might Be Giants.

Dos: I'm not sending out Christmas cards this year so please don't be offended if you don't get one. Next year I will for sure. I just don't have the time, the wit, or the stamps for that kind of project right now. But I DO appreciate every card we've gotten so far. We've got some rad pals and great family, for sure. They're all hanging on the back of our front door.

Tres: If you're following 1313 Mockingbird Lane, please don't think I've abandoned the project. The baby-making OR the blogging. The next 2 and a half weeks are going to be a little nutso with all the holiday festivities and that blog is important to me. I don't want to rush my thoughts and throw babble in your face (like I love to do here, suckers). So entries are being written and saved, and will be edited and posted after all the togetherness and chaos of the holidays is ka-put.

Feliz Navidad, y'all!

Been down that rocky road but here we are, still around.

2010-12-13T08:02:00.001-05:00

Yahoo! is trying to tell me that I DON'T want a mustache for my dog. Clearly, they've never met me because I'm pretty sure the ONLY thing I want is a mustache for my dog. A dog named Santo NEEDS a mustache. Am I right?

Managed to get a pretty raaaaaad Christmas gift for Todd. Something he wanted. Pumped about that. Pumped about the holidays in general, actually. I've got the spirit! The holiday spirit should not be confused with the "driving in the snow" spirit because that makes me want to go NINJA on strangers.

Todd watched "Eclipse". Never complained. Did make a fake snoring sound.

I can't stop thinking about dog mustaches so I'm useless this morning.

She is good. She is bad. No one understands.

2010-12-08T07:53:00.004-05:00

Before 5:30 (yes, they have one of those in the MORNING), I managed to oversleep a.k.a. Todd totally muffed up setting the alarm, slip in the driveway and land smack on my tailbone, and forget my lunch.

But then I got to work and this was waiting for me:

Good morning. I hope ur am commute was a pleasant one and trouble free. Im wishing you a good day where everything goes your way.

Sure the morning has been everything BUT trouble-free, but that was super sweet. He's been really awesome thr past 2 weeks while I've been especially stressed out. Last night he was totally cool with my blowing off some steam with Sharon. And he's been driving my car to work and handling getting new tires, a new windshield, and an oil change so it's safe for winter. They're little things but they mean a lot.

If only my tailbone and legs would stop tingling. And my back and shoulders would relax. And lunch would magically appear.

New post over at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

Gonna shake hands with the masses.

2010-12-06T07:44:00.004-05:00

I'm working out the kinks with the blog templates so just sit tight. Every time I have a background I like, I muck it up some how. Anyway, it'll be worth it once I pick something and stick with it.

And let's get this out of the way: YES, I bought Eclipse the day it came out. And YES, I watched it that same day, by myself. And YES, it was just as awesome as when I saw it in the theater, by myself.

The weekend. What can I say?

I kicked it off with steak and a double order of mushrooms so how could it go bad? In all actuality, that dinner was a cheer-up meal with Todd after I got my feelings and feathers ruffled. He's good at stuff like that.

I woke up Friday morning determined not to let the previous day ruin my down time. I invested all of my energy into decorating for the holidays (with the help of MANY episodes of Conan...welcome back). When Todd got home, we went and picked up outdoor Christmas lights, won $44 playing Keno, and had our first fire in the fireplace at Castle Grayskull. Thumbs up, Friday.

We had a chillaxing visit with Becky on Saturday. I miss her painfully.

Me + a stack of Food Network magazines + ice cold Pepsi (THANKS BECKY) + bad movies in bed = Sunday. It also equals perfection. And Speaking of perfection, I made the best pasta of my life yesterday. Garlic, olive oil, zucchini, asparagus, broccoli, mushrooms, lemons, fontina, shaved parmesean, and a pasta I've never heard of before that sort of resembles a lily. Campanelle?

Hoping to plan/help plan/whatever a Girl's Night soon. Stay tuned.

Right now, I'll give life a 7 out of 10.

A new blog is posted on...the new blog: 1313 Mockingbird Lane

This remedy has got to me!

2010-12-02T10:55:00.007-05:00

Holy dog shit! I just became the owner of my very own soda machine! I didn't realize that this was a dream of mine until the possibility presented itself. It says Cold Drinks on it and it may, or may not, light up. It can be set to free, which is my favorite price, and can hold 6 different beverages. We've got a tiki bar, an enormous projection TV and a Wii. Just need a Ms. Pacman machine and a jukebox and life will be solid. I may never leave the Man Cave. You may have to buy me there.

Also in awesome news, today is Phoebe's 1 year wedding anniversary. The paper anniversay, as it were. I'm glad that 1 year ago today, I was able to use my standings as a reverend in the state of Ohio to join her in unholy matrimony to her mate-of-choice. It was truly an honor. Love you, Bizzle. Happy Paper Day.

And the awesomeness just keeps truckin' in in regards to our weekend. Tonight, it's me vs. tree and I have a goal to convince Todd that there's nothing Charlie Brown looking about it! Tomorrow is Todd vs. Castle Grayskull in the Great Christmas Light Project of 2010. We're doing serious lights his year. No messing around! We're even hosting 2 holiday event this month...my aunts are coming over one night and we're having Todd's extended family over for a turkey dinner another. Gotta get ready for the festivities! From Betty Paige to Betty Crocker (maybe a mix, I'm still saucy).

And the icing on my weekend cake? We're going to see the Queen B in Columbus!! I miss Becky so much and whenever I'm around her (especially on her turf), I just feel calm and good. And Todd was all about making the trip! Hopefully I don't have a cookie-tossing repeat from last weekend. Regardless, at this moment in time, things are solid.

Looks like I have the holiday spirit after all!

And there's a new blog (if you didn't know, Stalking My Life has been retired) all about 2 goons trying to put a bun in the oven. You do not need to be a Blogger member to follow: 1313 MOCKINGBIRD LANE

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart for times when my life seems so low.

2010-11-29T07:09:00.002-05:00

Sex and the City 2 was the most embarrassing movie I've ever watched. More so than Boy In the Plastic Bubble with John Travolta. I watched it alone and was still humiliated. Those ladies are getting too old for their shenanigans. They were probably too old years ago. Man, who do I call to get those hours of my life back?

And while we're at it, I want my long weekend back, too.

Turkey Day was a great success since I met my goal of eating too much gravy and feeling uber-slothlike. The move from chair to couch took almost all my effort. It was good to spend time with my extended family, but it never fails that I leave family functions feelings semi-lousy.

On Black Friday, after a very positive phone call from my doc, we packed up the car and took the kid and a pal to a resort in the Pennsylvania Mountains. There were a lot of issues there and they'll be getting a pretty strongly worded letter from us. But the kids didn't notice anything so in their eyes, it was a boatload of fun.

Not so fun? Having to pull over twice on the way home Saturday to toss my cookies at the Travel Plaza and Sheetz, respectively. Haven't gotten car sick in a while (Todd thinks I'm preggo but I'm not putting any money on that). It really wrecked Cookie Day, a family tradition. Every time I thought I felt better, I bottomed out again. And my feelings took a few hits that day but I don't want to talk about that. SHOCKING! After getting home from my parents house, my guts emptied out and I was down for the count. A little 30 Rock with Todd and bed. We'll mark that day "a wash".

Yesterday was another wash even though I did get to have crepes for breakfast. The dudes went to the Browns game so I was on my own. Bought an X-Mas tree that turned out to be ridiculous so it's getting returned, but managed to get some other nonsense to make the house look festive. Got that swishy carsick feeling again (while driving, which is odd but happens because my body is an anomoly) and parked it on the couch. Sex and the City 2 (thumbs down) and The Back-Up Plan (thumbs up) helped numb my brain.

Numbed it right into a coma.

And now it's time to get in the holiday spirit. First X-Mas in our new home. I hope I can dig deep into my rotten soul and get into it, because I WANT to be into it, I do. I just have to find a way to get there this year. It'll happen. I have faith. I don't have an X-Mas tree, but I have faith!

While we were sleeping, I tried to say...

2010-11-25T11:44:00.001-05:00

Gobble gobble!!!

I started my holiday off with pumpkin roll, a glass of milk, and 2 Thanksgiving episodes of Top Chef. Not bad a bad way to start the day! Got me to thinkin'. I'm sure I could have made a list that would have wrapped all the way around the world of things that I am thankful for. However, I have to get ready to stuff my face full of yummy goodness so...most of all...I am thankful...

...for my husband, the love of my life. Some days I want to bite his face off because he makes me bananas. But more often, I want to smooch his sweet face and block out the world so it's just him and me. Todd & Lacey vs. The World. I can't imagine my life without him.

...I'm part of my family. I think we're indestructible.

...I have pals like the Ol' Kentucky Sharks. My how we have grown over the years. Husbands, wives, weddings, engagements, babies. But deep down, still the same Ol' Sharks. Fun-loving, supportive, entertaining and amazing individuals.

...that 2010 is almost over. It's been mind-numbing.

...to have my job. Not just because I am employed (at a place that lets me have a pretty cool lifestyle) but because I truly do love my job. By working for my father, I've gotten to see different sides of him and I support his vision 100%. Anyone would be lucky to have a boss like him. Working there has helped me grow.

...for blogging. It's been waaaaay cheaper than therapy! And even if no one read my blather, I'd still keep clacking away at the keys. I have an emotional record of my life over the last 10 years. I can step right back into those moments of my life. It's a precious opportunity.

...that I get unconditional love from my fur-kids. If I'm at my best or at my worst, they don't care. They're just sweet 24 hours a day. Sweet and dumb, but aren't we all?

...for television, movies, music, magazines. Maybe some people think these things are a waste of time but they bring me so much joy. Always have, always will. I find them all to be so inspiring. They make my imagination thrive. The world is fascinating...the world of entertainment is just MORE entertaining. Adventure Time with Finn and Jake has changed my life.

...we are making a home at Castle Grayskull. Together.

...that I have remained myself over the years. And my friends, family, husband, step-son, and fur-kids all appreciate me for being me. No one expects me to be someone else or anything else. They accept me, quirks and all. I am very lucky.

And very thankful. HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!!!

Well now, do you feel a little better? Lift up your head and walk away.

2010-11-23T06:39:00.002-05:00

Are we finally catching a break? Could it be true??

Well, we received good news on one of our fronts so far. Really good news! But there's no time to really enjoy it because we're still waiting for word on a few other things. But it will all come soon enough and no matter what the outcome, at least I'll be able to breathe over the long weekend.

We've had so many rad people cheering us on and sending the good vibes our way about everything that's going on in our lives right now. I can't tell you how much it means to be surrounded by such cool people. I hope we're been there for our dudes when they've needed us. I like to think we can be counted on.

But if it's not too much to ask, keep sending the vibes.

In non-stressful situation news...

Today is Johnny Switchblade's last day as a swinging bachelor. Am I sad that I'm not going to be there to witness the event that neither he nor I ever thought would happen? Yeah. I'm a little upset.

...

Maybe more than a LITTLE upset, but what can you do? I think I'm just a little salty because who doesn't think they're going to be there when their best friend ties the knot? He was a groomsman in my wedding...but that was MY wedding. I hope I'll at least see some pictures some day. I'll hang a picture of him as a groom right next to a picture of him dressed a priest. It'll be like Johnny's costumes over the years.

Ooh! A big congrats to Carol The Shoe for landing a J-O-B!!! CHEERS!!! Hopefully the good news keeps a-comin' and we can celebrate everyone's engagments, pregnancies, jobs, weddings, what-have-you at the Thansgiving Eve Train Wreck tomorrow night! Gotta embrace the one awesome period in this backwards year, am I right??

Alright day, let's get started, shall we?

Baby, when it's love if it ain't rough it isn't fun!

2010-11-22T06:12:00.005-05:00

Man, I don't have $9 extra bones to get the Lady Gaga limited edition tee on Tee Fury. And I love it, of course. Damn forcing myself to be responsible with money at Christmas time! Grrrr.

And congratulations, Jimmie Johnson. 5 years in a row. You've made history once again. People were cheering against you and hoping someone else would get a turn. But hey, you're the best and you did it. I'm proud of you. See you in February.

But let's start with the truly important news...

My little sis and Karl are engaged!! That's right, Evan! Mommy and Daddy are getting married and I. CAN'T. WAIT. I love you guys and couldn't be happier for you. If I could do backflips, I would, but that would be dangerous for everyone. So CONGRATS, Jenny Penny. You're going to make a bootiful bride!

For real...something has to be in the water. Lurve is EVERYWHERE!

I really have no other news, though we expect news from a few different (and muy importante) sources this week. Jesus, Buddah, Zeus, Satan, Mother Earth...whoever you pray to, maybe you could send some positive vibes our way. I could certainly tolerant some raddness this week.

And turkey. I could stand some turkey!

So a short week is followed by a long weekend that will have us tubing in Pennsylvania. I, personally, won't be tubing because I don't like when snow touches me. But I'll be there and I'll be loving it. Especially since there will be fireworks and a holiday lighting ceremony. I'm a sucker for things that sparkle and explode! And a mini-road trip with my little family is something to be thankful for.

I'm thankful that I spent a majority of my weekend in pajamas on the couch watching Big Bang Theory and 30 Rock with my husband. Some one-on-one time was needed for sure. Gotta be thankful for the low-key little things. The blah days. Be thankful for the blah days...cause at least you're head isn't falling off.

I'm thankful for all you guys. Cause you're witty and hot.

Gonna reconstruct your self-worth brick-by-emotional-brick!

2010-11-17T07:35:00.004-05:00

Not only is it deep into autumn, but it's practically WINTER and Katy Perry is STILL torturing me with "California Girls" every hour on the hour. I'm as sick as a homeless dog and that ridiculous and repetitive noise she makes might just be the thing that catapults me over the edge. Punching babies and kicking dogs over here.

Yep, still feeling like garbage but the world doesn't stop a-turnin' for the flu. And I got a mini-pep talk from Phoebe so the little black raincloud I was under isn't so mammoth. I can't let being physically ill affect my mental marbles. I have much more important things to feel enraged about...this means YOU, Katy Perry! So I just have to kick it. There are no other options. Ignore it or kick it. In the words of Finn the Human...

Is this really my life?
Is this how my story ends?
Bein' in this body
Seems like a battle that I cannot win.

Maybe I should lay my head down slow
And sleep till it's all OVER.
Is this the end
of a hero boy named Finn?

HECK NO, darn it no!
This isn't how I go!
I'm gonna kill it!
I'm gonna kick life's butt.
I'm in it, to win it!

I'm gonna take life's name
And spit on it, and kick it!
LIFE CAN JUST GO EAT IT!
Cause this is a man's game!

I'm not gonna let you lie here, and waste away!
You better get up, or I'll kick you up!
TODAY'S THE DAY.

And I'm not gonna be COOL
Cause I'm pipin' HOT!
GET UP! GET UP!
I'm not gonna let you ROT.

GET UP, ALL OF YOU MAKE ME SICK.
I'll fix you with MY KICKS!
Gonna reconstruct your self-worth
Brick BY EMOTIONAL BRICK.

You know, after singing that, I feel 1% better.

Thanks Finn.

Thanks Phoebe.

They say you're getting better but you don't feel any better.

2010-11-15T11:29:00.002-05:00

Everything aches from the inside out. I'm sick but what else is new? This battle with my body doesn't get any easier, even now that I know what's kicking my immune system to the floor. It's getting harder and harder to just push through. I feel like a failure for getting sick. And this is NOTHING compared to what other people I know are going through.

"I've never met anyone more prone to life-threatening idiocy than you" - Alice Cullen

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I just can't live without you. I'd miss everything about you.

2010-11-09T08:15:00.004-05:00

Ol' Kentucky weddings and babies as far as they eye can see. It's official. Love is in the Cleveland...and surrounding areas...air! If you don't watch out, you might catch it!

April and Dennis done got hitched on the sly. HOORAY!

That's some pretty awesome news right there and I've been told that a ceremony and reception will follow at some point. I'm glad to hear that because this is something to celebrate and I want to be a part of it! They are two rad folks...with the CUTEST baby girl on the PLANET, I could seriously eat her face off...and deserve all the happiness they can get their hands on.

Is now the time to forgive Dennis for convincing me his middle name is "Ace"?

Which I believed. Openly. FOR YEARS.

...

Maybe I'm not ready to let that go just yet. Still, congratulations Bells!

If I get through this part, will the next one be the same?

2010-11-08T06:44:00.007-05:00

Punching babies, kicking dogs. Round up your children. Protect yer pets.

Might as well lay it right out on the table that the possible weird news that I thought turned out to be normal news is back to being weird and somewhat mind-numbing. Once again, we'll know more in a few weeks. Patience is a virtue, it's just not one of mine so...yeah. Awesome. Then pile on top of THAT some other rotten news that I wasn't expecting and didn't want to hear (not my news to tell but affects me and will hopefully end up being nothing) and I'm just all kinds of sucko over here.

Todd's come down with some gross sickness that I'm trying to avoid at all costs but will no doubt knock my legs out from under me. It's inevitable. I've been informed that I don't have to visit his grave if it's raining (courteous since I don't like being in wet clothes) so it must be pretty rough. I'm super looking forward to catching it and adding to my melancholy.

We missed the engagement bonfire and the baby shower and even though he made it to the game (18th row tickets for his birthday from his wiiiiiife), he spent all night tossing his cookies and dealing with the worst headache of his life. Things are currently NOT awesome. That was a pretty awesome run-on sentence up top there though. Leave it to me to ramble my stress away.

Rot.

Today is the 115th anniversary of the X-Ray. We're old friends.

I see some retail therapy in my future, thanks to my mother. Cardigans and dresses and boots, oh my! H&M isn't going to know what hit it!! I'm shaking up the way I dress because dressing scummy makes me feel scummy any more. I need to put a little pep-in-my-step and shake things up. Sure, I'm not fond of all the exfoliating and plucking and shaving and waxing and ironing and laundering and primping it takes to look put-together and sassy...but maybe good outsides will create good insides. 60s Mod-ish is a good look for me, I think. No more dressing like a teenage boy unless I'm painting.

Maybe I should just have a New Year's Eve party and end 2010 earlier...

Never worry. Never be sad.

2010-11-02T13:51:00.004-05:00

I'm good at birthdays. I don't think that's vain to say. It's not like I said I'm pretty. I do my best to knock socks straight off when it comes to the birthdays of those closest to my black-n-bloody heart. Probably because I love my own birthday so much. Come on and celebrate me by being awesome and doing awesome stuff, am I right? OK, that might have been a little vain.

I sort of got my head stuck in a honey jar with Todd's birthday this year and it's right around the corner. I couldn't come up with anything that felt right. Sure, I got a few things together but nothing of sock-knocking proportions. Until today, that is! I worked it out (THANKS Craigslist!) and I can't wait to see the look on his puss. Trying to hold out but it's hard when he's the person I tell everything to!

Keep the secret. Keep the secret. Keep the secret.

Changing the subject I internally combust...

What's the news? News I thought was bad news wasn't. It was normal news. I'll take normal news any day. And I thought I'd take anything over that "California Girls" nonsense but with the change of seasons came "Teenage Dream" and I'm just as annoyed as I was all summer. Way to go, Katy Perry.

When listing the married, engaged, and expecting, I forgot Switchblade. Oops.

I'll be honest. I'm not voting. I vote for president but that's as far as I extend myself. I know it's my civic duty. I was all pro-voting and wacky about government in high school. But I am so anti-these campaign commercials that have been plauging my precious tube that I'm boycotting. Take that and shove it, politics!

Adventure Ben (a.k.a The Drink) was injured in some freak motorbike (not sure if that's the same as a motorcycle or if it's some sort of Thai moped or what) accident near Burma. He looks pretty awesome in his foreign hospital gown all stitched up and bruised. Regardless of his radical injuries, I'm glad he's OK. And I'm glad I got a postcard before he got all wrecked and loopy. Get well soon, man!

End transmission.

I don't need anybody's help to rise above it.

2010-11-01T05:56:00.002-05:00

I am still pulling spirit gum off my ears. Halloween was a success.

A success in many ways it seems because Wolfboy Slim and Little Erin got engaged last night (same night I got engaged 2 short years ago)!!! A message I received simply read "FINALLY!!!!" and I knew what had gone down...and I also almost fell out of my bed!! I could not possibly be more excited for her and wish I could have seen the look on her face! Congrats, y'all! This is hardcore awesome news.

Love is in the air, man. Jimbo and Jess had their Halloween reception on Saturday, Jenn Terror got hitched yesterday, Jackie and Jocephus got engaged recently and their plans are rolling along, and now Erin and Josh join the pack. Plus Evan turned 1 and the baby shower for Vincent is around the corner. This is all good stuff. Totally the kind of awesomeness we need to balance out the disaster of a year. I'm pumped for everyone. Truly.

We went as Big Red Riding Hood and the Little Bad Wolf. I loved it.

So Halloween is over for another year but the start of holiday season is here. Turkey Day, Christmas Eve, Anti-X-Mas, New Year's festivities. I'm hoping the holidays continue to rock so we can end 2010 on a high note. I'm also hoping that some news we got isn't really as bad as my swirling brain is making it out to be. Trying to stay positive which is not always the easiest thing. Luckily I'll know more today. Le sigh.

Looking back at my short life, the few pleasures that I've found.

2010-10-28T10:17:00.003-05:00

AWESOME. LIKE. WHOA.

...

LIKE WHOA!

I'm so chock full of smutty adrenaline, thanks to Weasel. Yesterday I was feeling so exhausted and down-in-the-dumps due to this rot we call 2010 (R.I.P. Stella...I only met you once last Halloween but you were super snazzy and will be missed by your many friends, I'm sure). But he turned my frown upside down in BIG ways. Feeling 16 again is the cat's pajamas!!

Seeing him this morning, naive and vulnerable looking, I left like this:

I was pretty much ready to rip him to shreds with my tiny, ineffectual fists and eat him alive! I felt like a hormonal teenager, all VA-VOOM, acting first and thinking later. It's hard to concentrate today and I'm blushing quite frequently, to be honest. But I have a smile plastered on my mug and that's what counts. Gotta grab onto the awesome moments of this backwards year and run for the door!

AWOOOOOOOOGAH!

Two of a billion stars. It means so much to me.

2010-10-27T05:53:00.004-05:00

Come on and get here, Halloween!!

Since I'm done with our costumes (in ADVANCE, I can't believe it), I offered some help to Sharon who is also going to a Halloween wedding. She was getting frustrated about her costume and I know what a bummer that can be. But with a little brainstorming, I think we pulled off something better than she had initially planned. She's excited again which makes me excited. I'm glad I could help out.

One of my pals is having a rough time getting into the Halloween spirit. Boo.

It's been a rough year for a lot of people, as I've previously blather. I hope that all changes soon because I hate seeing people with their sad faces on. A friend of some friends is in the hospital on life support. She someone's wife and so young, it's heart breaking. 2010 is GARBAGE. It's almost over, y'all. Fresh start in 2011. Drama-free is the way to be. After all the garbage that's gone on recently, my mom says she more thankful for the blah, boring days where nothing happens. I'm agreeing 100%.

I haven't ended a blog with "LIFE IS GOOD" in awhile...since August 19th! Ouch. But there are a plthora of fun things coming up which will hopefully set the world right. Spontaneous Japanese dinner, Halloween wedding, Trick-or-Treating, engagement bonfire, baby shower for Vincent & Todd's birthday, tattoo cover-up featuring cakes and pies, something special (I'll talk about it later) for my little family, the Fabulous Food Show, hanging with various pals, our traditional Cookie Day...it's all good. It's all great. It's all going to start counter-balancing the junk going on.

Life is on it's way back to good.

Or I'll grab it by the balls and show it whose BOSS!

I'm leaving on that midnight train tomorrow and I know just where I'm going.

2010-10-25T06:05:00.003-05:00

I'm ultra, mega bummed which is not a good start to my work week. Lisa (henceforth known as "The Captain") invited me to Guam for a week of beach resort fun if I could swing the plane ticket. For years, I've always used "the rocky beaches of Guam" as my destination when I threatened to run away. But plane tickets to Guam are way spendy. Now someone else will be having beachy fun with The Captain instead of me. Grrrrrr.

I woke up grouchy and will continue to be so for the duration.

Let's see...what's awesome that I can talk about?

I went to the circus with Bizzle on Thursday night and it was flat out rad, both the circus itself and hanging with that awesome broad. I'll be going again next year, fo' sho. I would make an excellent circus performer. I would also make an awesome owner to a miniature misfit pony that looked that a cupcake. It was great to see Phoebe so super psyched. It was not great to see a little kid in sweatpants and no shoes laying on the stairs eating a sno-cone with a spoon he kept dragging on the ground. Hate that kid.

So the bright lights, sequins and shenanigans of the circus were an excellent distraction until Friday came and I had an appointment I wasn't looking forward to. Luckily, I had a husband who bailed out of work early to accompany me. I'll talk more about the appointment another time. I'll just say that it was uncomfortable but the results were exactly what we wanted to hear. After getting the good news, we celebrated with a 64 ounce German boot and some laughs.

Yesterday, we went to visit my cousin who is in the hospital after a total fluke skateboarding accident. The improvement in his condition from last Monday was mind-blowing and I hope he can ditch that place soon and get back to his family. Post-that, we went to PJ McIntyre's to support a bartender pal who was attacked there back in July. A portion of the bar sales were going to his medical bills so eating and drinking was the least we could do. And the Browns beat the Super Bowl champs for the 3rd year in a row! I only care about that because Todd cares. Cheering for his team is like wearing his letter sweater.

Halloween festivities are approaching. I. AM. AMPED.

But I'm still so bummed about Guam. I lost 2.9 pounds on my new workout plan so I wouldn't have looked half bad in a bikini with an umbrella drink. Plus, I miss The Captain. Le sigh...

Tonight we'll put all other things aside.

2010-10-20T05:57:00.007-05:00

Once I order my creepy contacts, our costumes will be COMPLETE!

Maybe we spent a little more dough than we should have but you know what? It's Halloween. Go big or go home, that's what I say! Since everything is coming together (without me having to stitch, glue, purchase or construct anything at the last second), I am predicting nothing but uber-fun at the Hissem wedding next weekend. I'm so glad I have a husband who loves Halloween and dressing up as much as me. There will be pictures. And they will be priceless.

Tomorrow I'm going to the circus with Phee-Bizzle and Todd thinks I'm going to runaway without so much as a text message. This was all prompted by dreams Phoebe had last year about me being a trapeze artist. I'd be damn good at that. I've already added "will break a rib to fit into a tight, sequined costume" and "easily persuaded into acts of danger and stupidity" to my resume (and my Facebook page, which is the resume of my life).

I haven't been to the circus since 3rd grade and like many people, I totally hate clowns...yet suddenly have an urge to paint them. But I'm jazzed to go because Phoebe is coo-coo over the circus and I think it will be cool to take it all in as an adult. And I like spontaneity. Going to the circus was not on my agenda until I got a very eager and excited text message last night. Of course I was in. I'm up for pretty much anything, especially last minute awesomeness. And who knows...maybe I'll get my big break as Madame Fifi von Glitter Pants.

What else?

Todd and I have reverted back into teenagers and I like it. I think our weekend plan involves nothing but cocktails, movies, and friskies. We both have doctor's appointments this week that neither of us are looking forward to so our time off needs to be pure chillaxation. Chillaxation followed by a fundraiser for our bartender pal, James, who was attacked and got 84 stitches in his mug. WHY ARE PEOPLE SUCH RIDICULOUS JERKOFFS???

Two people in my life call me 'Ace'. It amuses me. And with that...